I really hate “what if” games, because they’re more of “what would I have hoped would have happened” and have no basis in reality. My Mom used to tell me we could have been rich, her Dad invented 6 Up.
I’ve seen how little changes have made big differences in my life. My ex’s inability to work towards saving the marriage led me to go out to a transformation place and go from dressing only at home in hiding to going out in public. Doing this enabled me to meet others in the community, to gain confidence going out in public, to be there for a friend when she needed support. I have seen how leaving a change of clothes home when I went to the beach caused me to have to go home first and then get into a car accident. So I can’t begin to imagine how different things would have been if I made big changes.
Taking things to the extreme, what if my parents “did it” 5 minutes earlier or 5 minutes later? Then likely another sperm would have “won the race” and I’d be a totally different person.
I can tell you what did happen. Because my wife was working out of town, I was able to go to a conference. Because my wife had moved out, when my company started to (essentially) pay me to take a certain number of steps, I started walking through my neighborhood en femme. Because of the lockdown at the beginning of the pandemic, I was taking a walk through my neighborhood en femme almost every day. Because of this, I made a friend whom I would often pass on my walk and still make small talk with when we see each other. Also because of the lockdown, I was able to dress better than 90% of the time, to prove to myself that I don’t want to transition. With the pandemic still not over, I have been trying to take walks en femme even some office work days before I change into my male attire.