Okay.Β Hey everyone, thank you all for your considered replies here 🙂 I see a couple recurring themes a few of you came back to (the double edge thing, & the box or objectifying thing)
Over on Holly’s thread (insert shameless plug for Holly’s thread here) I posted the following:
This is where I make a distinction: labels are easy, I can respect em, reject em, dodge em, manipulate emβ¦whatever it takes. Underneath whatever label, I also have an identity and so do you. We can thro labels around all day but you own your identityβ¦ it is yours and only one person knows the name written upon the stone.
You do own your identity.
I find that often, people try to put me in a “box” and it may not even involve any label (at least not spoken out loud) but some sort of mental expectation based on what they see, or who they think i am, or should be, etc.Β There are not too many more fun things (to me anyway) than watching the reaction as i smash that box to pieces.Β There is no label in existence that precludes me from doing so, and likely the same is true for you too, if you want it to be.Β Sometimes this is simply a matter of “personal growth” for one or both of us.
Bianca mentioned “tranny” and Nancy mentioned “queer”.Β I remember when thum thar was fightin’ words, and to some maybe they still are.Β You may note that the Gay community “reclaimed” the word queer, basically by taking ownership of it.Β And so in this way I feel that it’s possible to blunt the edge of a “bad” label.Β Sometimes I call myself a tranny because people can see that i’m a fairly average or normal person insofar as how i live.Β When I was younger, a lot of people called me queer.Β So what if I am?Β The definition of queer is odd or weird, the connotation is that I might like guys.Β No prob, I can own both those.Β So if you can find a way to own it, you’ve kind of stolen the thunder.Β That’s my take on it at least.
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