The first clothing item I bought for myself at 13 was pantyhose. I knew exactly what I wanted and where to get it. I was very excited as I went to the store and bought them. Then soon after, I decided I had to have bras and panties, same thing. I went to a store and bought them.
Then at 17, I decided it’s finally time to go out as a girl. I went and bought some short shorts and a pair of platform wedges. It was no big deal. I had been buying my own pantyhose, bras and panties for 4 years.
When no one was home, I dressed in my little outfit. I loved it, but realized nearly immediately I needed hair. I looked around for wigs and saw a perfect one in a wig store window. I so wanted to go in and buy it, but fear came over me and it held me back. After several more trips to the wig store and admiring and longing for the wig in the window, and lots of chickening out, I finally mustered up the courage to go in and buy the wig. In fact I bought two of them. I was very nervous but wanted them so bad.
That was the first time I can recall where I was nervous and chickened out several times. I guess it was that final step to going fully femme that made me nervous. After that there was countless other nervous and chicken out instances. But before the wig purchase, all my femme clothes buys was filled with excitement about my new items and the anticipation of wearing them.