Learning about, dealing with and accepting a husband’s cross dressing is an extremely difficult, emotional and sometimes gut-wrenching experience for a wife. In my opinion many CD’s do not fully understand this and just expect their wives to adjust their lives accordingly. Read Helen Boyd’s book, “My Husband Betty” so see what wives really think about their SO’s CD’ing.
There are any number of reasons why your wife’s feelings could have changed over time and you need to sit with her and discuss this in detail. I would advise you both to go to couples counseling with a therapist experienced in trans subjects. As for her drinking, what you see of it may only be the tip of the iceberg with much more going on behind the scenes. It doesn’t take much for alcohol to become a serious problem so put your wife’s welfare first and see a therapist. You will be glad you did.