Hi, You don’t want to hear this but you need to talk to someone about your depression! Talk to your primary doctor and tell them how you feel. Talking to a pro about your depression doesn’t hurt. But depression can lead to suicide. Please talk to someone about it. You don’t have to live with depression.
As for your hernia surgery, how long ago did you have your surgery? There might be some swelling after surgery but that should disappear in a week or so. If it is the size of a peach something is not right. Call your surgeon and tell them they need to see you and check it out. If they won’t go to the ER and let them see it. Tell them that you will go to the ER if they won’t look at it. I am in a similar situation as you. I will talk to you privately about it if you want!
You have to tackle each problem one at a time.
BTW My dressing started with panties and was purely sexual! Right after orgasm I would peel them off and feel guilty about what I just done. The same with each piece of women’s clothes I added. But then wearing panties became a normal and less sexual as time wore on. I love women’s clothes when I look at women I check out what they are wearing before I look at them. I wonder if I could look that good in their outfit. I have come to realize that I like women’s clothes more than mens. They are far more comfortable and the options are endless compared to mens clothes. I now wear them daily!
Remember this is a free country and people should be able to wear what they want to express themselves. Society is coming around to that now and it will get better.
Feel free to reply to me I will have an ear to hear you. But please please talk to your doctors about your depression!