Reply To: Secret identity

[Marg Produe]

Thanks for the good question Dawn.  I’m out and dressed each day and have my hair in a pony tail.  Women’s clothes fit me best and I’m usually in jeans and a pullover.  I can blend in but get misgendered about half the time unless I glam up (which I usually don’t and really don’t care).  If questioned, I will gladly explain that I am an intersex person and what that entails but won’t volunteer it any more than a woman would mention in the middle of a conversation that one of her boobs is half the size of the other or that she actually wears a wig due to alopecia.  I don’t hide.  I live, and am not ashamed.  I don’t gush but do educate.  So, some of my neighbors, friends and family know and some of them don’t.  Maybe they will know in time but that doesn’t matter to me.  If it seems important then I’ll talk about it but otherwise I’m more likely to talk about global warming,  a broken hydraulic cylinder or the War in Ukraine.  I will mention here that some of my relatives go “blah blah blah, I  don’t want to hear about our family’s defective genes so shut up” as they put their hands over their ears and we don’t mention it again.  So things are not always perfect but that’s where I am on this issue, and my wife is also with me in about the same place.  It’s only been about 10 years ago that I got to this place.  I hope this helps others and that’s actually why I joined CDH and TGH.        Marg