At this point research seems to point to a genetic/developmental origin for at least those who might identify as transgender. I hesitate to apply a one size fits all explaination, but for people like you and I, who started very early in life, that explanation makes a good deal of sense.
In most respects, it doesn’t matter. We have to deal with it, and that can be through denial, abstinence, or some degree of acceptance. The latter may be the healthiest approach from a mental health standpoint. That doesn’t mean you have to go full time girl, but at least acknowledge to yourself that this is part of the whole. (You aren’t defined by it, but hopefully enhanced in some respects)
I do think its good to share this part of yourself with others, at least with a few. I used to worry that sharing this part of myself with close friends would be an imposition, or placing a burden on them, but I have asked, and without exception those who know the whole me have felt privileged that I had enough trust in them to share my secret. So, I was relieved of the burden of secrecy without feeling that I was taking unfair advantage of others.
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