I started going to counseling for a PTSD issue, which in turn opened up pandora’s box to my sexual abuse and cross dressing. Growing up I was never what I call a typical boy, not overly large in physical size nor good at sports. I used to share a room with my sister growing up, which I think set some of my dressing desires in motion.
In counseling my biggest question was what started me dressing, why do I enjoy it, why would a guy want to wear lingerie and put on make up. I have zero interest in guys not any desire to transition. While it would be cool to flip a switch for a day and experience being a lady, but still wish to remain a guy. My first wife was no help in the shame and guilt calling me every name in the book. My counselor convinced me that there was nothing wrong with dressing, it hurt no one, I was not looking to be dressed in front of friends or family, so again it was no ones business what I did.
While I do feel at times some shame or guilt or why do i like getting dressed up and why does it excite me so my. Only to know that I will never really know why and I will only drive myself crazy with trying to answer those unanswerable questions.
So I try to continue with her help to work through my dressing and “normalize” it for lack of a better description
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