Holly
Nice meeting you. Your a very special spouse and your partner is so fortunate. This is certainly the place you’ll find many of the answers you are seeking. Totally understandable in your reaction, you may be experiencing feelings of betrayal, being lied to, a breech of trust or just simple thoughts of “are you kidding , seriously ” And a dynamics of your relationship have been brought into question. The ‘Is he gay?’ Question is a common one, or you feeling he is somehow less of a man for wanting to cross dress.
Been here a long time, most of us are just normal heterosexual men who love to experience what women can but normally prohibited by societal pressures about gender steeeotypes. We just want to try what you can freely experience if you want, make up, a far more interesting range of clothing and accessories, wonderful fabrics and colours. Maybe we want to try something different from the normally ‘drab’ options we have in menswear, shoes etc.
He has probably kept it a secret as he is terrified he would lose you if you found out. Had you known when you were dating would it have adversely affected your opinion of him. And the longer the secret is carried on the harder it is to admit it. He was maybe also afraid you would question his sexuality, think of him as less of a man, something which hurts. For me, and many others, perhaps your husband included it is only looking different for a bit, to stand out, enjoy experiencing new things. I think I look fab when dressed, others may disagree but it’s good for my soul. Perhaps like a hobby or addiction, not trying to play down the angst you are feeling but there are worse addictions to have.
I hope you can keep the lines of communication open, come to terms with it, and come to some kind of compromise. In relationships we all have to compromise to some extent.
I saw the shock from my wife as for us we were married for many years and only a short while ago that I opened up to her . The biggest concern was the mistrust I caused. Seeing her and the hurt that it caused was hard. We had many talks and through this agreements and guidelines were set and together were slowly working it out. But Cdh and it’s resources helped my wife and myself understand more about our individual troubles. I learned more about myself and she with help from a wonderful group we have here exclusive for my wife where many GG gals like yourself could receive the help and support to get the answers your wanted to know. This group – private ( wives and significant others)
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/groups/wives-and-significant-others/
For you special ladies where Cders are not allowed. Meet with them and get the support you need. Look into other forms written by others who talk about their experiences, their questions they may ask with many offering help and advice so everyone can understand better on so many confusing topic . Many face this troubling ordeal but be assured you have support and help from everyone here . Relax, get comfortable and enjoy being part of this wonderful community that really does care for all that passes through our doors. The best to you both as you venture through these new paths together . Very happy meeting you and welcome.
Stephanie 🌹
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