Most of my CD activities have been fairly low key and limited, but thinking back over the years there are some events that stand out in my memory. Maybe not out-and-out funny, but here they are for you to enjoy!
THE FRENCH MAID INCIDENT (mid 1990’s)
I attended a conference in Cannes, France. In my hotel room I unpacked quickly and changed into lingerie – nothing else. Then there was a knock at the door and a woman’s voice in French, followed by the sound of a keycard and the door opening. It was the chambermaid, but by then I had rushed as quickly and silently as I could into the bathroom and closed the door. I stood there nervously for eternity (actually just 2 or 3 minutes) hoping she would not come into the bathroom! Then I heard the maid exit and the door close, so I emerged cautiously. I never knew whether she was aware that I was in the bathroom or not.
THE SCHOOLGIRLS INCIDENT (about 2000)
On my business travels I once stopped at a store where I spotted a bra that I liked the look of and wished to try. It was mid afternoon and the store was very quiet, so the store assistant directed me to the changing room which was simply a curtained-off area directly next to the bra displays. I took my shirt off and I had just put the bra on when I became aware a couple of teenage schoolgirls were directly outside the curtain looking at the bras, discussing them, giggling and considering trying them on.
Would they suddenly come into the changing area and discover me? If I started to change back to my clothes would they hear me? If I managed to get changed and stepped out to find them still there what would their reaction be?
I ended up keeping as silent as possible for about 10 minutes until all went quiet, then peeked out carefully to make sure the coast was clear before emerging. The bra was a poor fit anyway, so I left the shop empty handed.
THE NAKED LADY INCIDENT (about 2005)
I was visiting Newcastle upon Tyne in the north of the UK on a business trip. Returning to the hotel at the end of the day, I laid out lingerie and breast forms on my bed ready for later, before going to the restaurant for dinner. Returning to my room as I stepped out of the lift I came face to face with an attractive lady clad in nothing but a towel. Apparently she had just had a shower and then decided to put her meal tray outside the door … which promptly swung closed behind her. I gallantly offered her sanctuary in my room while I called reception to ask someone to bring the master key for her room. My “items” were in full view on the bed, and it was obvious I was the lone occupant of the room. Nothing was said and I will never know which of the two of us was more embarrassed.
THE GRAPEFRUIT INCIDENT (about 2008)
I was travelling back to the UK from a business trip in Germany. Passing through Dusseldorf airport security, my carry-on luggage went through the X-Ray scanner. As it came out of the scanner a rather young security officer pulled me over and asked if I was carrying grapefruit in the case (there are rules governing the movement of plant products between EU countries). I had to open the case and show him my breast forms. He was far more embarrassed than me, and very apologetic. I usually travelled with work colleagues, but on this occasion I was just glad I was travelling alone.
THE BRIDAL PARTY INCIDENT (about 2010)
I was in a large shopping mall in London, fully cross-dressed and made-up. I saw a skirt that I loved in a ladies fashion shop and asked if I could try it on. I was directed to changing rooms – a secluded but open space with several individual changing cubicles arranged around 3 sides. I found the skirt was a bit too small and I already knew they did not have the next size up in stock, but before I could leave the cubicle a party of young ladies arrived in the open area outside my cubicle. They were excitedly trying on bridesmaid dresses together and at that stage were mostly clad in little more than lust lingerie, oblivious to whatever else might be going on around them. If anyone were to give me more than a cursory glance they would realise I was not a GG, but I was pressed for time and needed to get out of there quickly without causing a major incident. So, I had to calmly and confidently thread my way past them, smiling gently but avoiding voyeurism … but I did end up a bit shaky, amused and thankful as I left the shop without further problems!