It eventually helped my awareness but there were several decades of confusion, false starts and misunderstanding on my part before I arrived at any real clarity. What finally made me consider my gender identity was the combination of ‘transgender’ being talked about publicly and an opportunity to dress the way I wanted, sometimes for 5-10 days at a time, for months on end (thanks pandemic!). When I could only do it for a few hours every other week it wasn’t enough to wake me up. Those short stints just reinforced the idea that it was a fetish. This opportunity to dress as a woman consistently actually occurred twice in my life, once at 29 and again at 51. Both times I realized I was a woman but the first time the societal awareness and open discussion wasn’t there yet (to me anyway) and I felt I had to bury it to get on with my life. Seems crazy now but you gotta do what you gotta do.
— Abbie 🥰
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