You and I are doing better than a lot people here! The ones we love the most, know about our situations and are supportive about it! So consider your self blessed as I do very much! That being said. I as well as the people here on Crossdresser Heaven can only give you advice on you problems. Some might be right, some (including mine) could be wrong.
The only I can say with confidence is that If you haven’t spoke with the pro’s about who you are and your problems is you should! It sounds like you might need to talk to a therapist for starters and take it from there. It never hurts to talk to them as they are certified in these problems. I did and found out that I didn’t know who I really was completely. You are right to worried about your problems and they can help guide you as to go about that. It is a big step to come out and tell your family and friends who you really are. It was for me and all I can say is that it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and things are better for me and my family. I have my therapist to thank for that!!! With her help, I now am not concerned about what others think and feel more free to be who I am.
Welcome to Crossdresser Heaven!!! I hope you enjoy it here and you feel more comfortable hearing from others and I. Feel free to PM me if you want to ask me anything or just shoot the breeze.