I understand what you are saying and empathize with your situation and that ultimately happens to all crossdressers we slip up the stress, exhilaration, anticipation, so many emotions to me are magnified when you have to walk they line. What did she see in the totes is my question for it not to register without knowing what it was depending on how far you go when you dress she possibly could already have an idea or suspicion. Did she actually see some contents inside was it a look a quick glance? I wish you the best your mind must be racing for the worst case scenario is not pleasant. Just a thought she may know more than you think and if she does you should consider all possible thoughts and feelings she may be going through while you are going through yours. Hope it works out the best for you and your wife.