Reply To: Cursed or blessed? Could someone please pass me the manual – lol. Brissie, Oz

[Ally Syn]

Hi Angela, a big thank you. I am glad we can rule out midlife crises…saves me trying figure out what that actually is – lol. Jokes aside, I do wonder if a little quality time with a professional head person is not wise move. I don’t know? I have spent the day digging only to discover just how deep this is … or am I just over complicating it? Or desperately wanting dismiss it through simplification. The first half of my life seemed so simple … happiness and success was kind of tick the box exercise, go to school, go to university, qualify as an accountant, get married, own house and cars, travel the world, do extreme sports and adventures … but now I find my very core in turmoil over whether I should or should not wear lipstick and a skirt? I just want inner peace, at this point I don’t care if I am Adam or Eve, I just want a sense of resolution. Is this the essence of being gender fluid? Is this tug of war just started and without the distraction of tick boxes i am finally getting around to me? Or is this like an addiction that I am fuelling? Almost every story I have come across dates back to when people are establishing their identities and whilst their journey had been in overcoming, or even conceding to, what has prevented them from “being true to own self” but in many ways I envy them because I see an end to their plight. Is this a rip current that I just need to ride out and swim away from or is this headed to a waterfall that needs urgency or quit tripping, it just spa that I should enjoy – lol. Do gender fluid people every achieve a sense of belonging?