If you know her limits and can abide with them you have won the main battle. I think most problems arise from either 1) not knowing limits and crossing them unawares; 2) not being able to abide with them.
On a bright note, limits do change from time to time. And they CAN be negotiated, to a degree… USUALLY. As opportunities arise, in time, you may find her able to relax. I NEVER in my wildest dreams would have expected I could ever wear a bra and lived to tell the story, but eventually got to a point where I could not only wear them but would find them washed and folded in my drawers after dropping them in the hamper. BUT, tolerance levels can both expand and contract, without warning. Not being a real woman, I cannot ever figure out the “rules”, or why or when they will change.