Girl, let me tell you…
I thought I was leaving Brazil for Canada because I wanted better life conditions for myself and my family. Little did I know that I was just running away from a homophobic family.
I grew up hearing “are you a man or a sack of potatoes?” from molester daddy, “doing this is gay” from mommy, and “guys who are friends with girls are gay” from stepdaddy. I was clearly a gay sack of potatoes. My girlfriends were the only people I could confide in, and even though I did have many “male” interests, my manner was quite female — something I spent decades “correcting”. Even my wife is uncomfortable with the idea of me “losing my manhood” (in the literal sense, not my “parts”) “now” that I’m a crossdresser.
At the end of the day, leaving my country and my family was the only way I could breathe in enough air to actually see what I’m looking at when I look in the mirror.
So yes, most everyone in my family is homophobic, and that’s only partially their fault because it’s how we’re wired. I’m actually surprised they didn’t have much to say when I came out as non-binary. I have internalized queerphobia myself, and have to fight it tooth and nail whenever the guilt and shame creep back in.
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