If you do talk to your wife this is what I would do, and I have done. I first talked to her about why I wanted to wear panties. Why? well my truth is they fit me a lot better the men’s briefs and I hate boxers. I like to feel secured, and panties do the job well. These are not sexy thongs or lace panties, just high waisted no frills panties. My wife understands and agrees. So it’s okay and she has an understanding and it helped to break the ice on the subject. If if your wife has been feeling your bra straps or bra band on your back maybe even hearing your pantyhose I would hope then she might ask you about it, she’ll let you know of her concerns.
Also, I found out that wearing pantyhose is not as quiet and concealing as one might think. They do make a swishing sound against your pants and jeans, people close by can hear the sound. My wife outed my on that one and told me she could. But since then I do keep tights, thigh highs and pantyhose with my socks and panties in the underwear draw. If your wife chooses not to say anything after that, well it sounds a like a DADT situation. But the good news is you have easily opened a dialogue with her and she shouldn’t feel bad bring it up. Just be prepared with answers.