Welcome to CDH!
CDH is a supportive, encouraging, helpful community.
Your story is not sad at all, we all have a story, a journey and you are on yours.
Me, I dressed on and off for years, then a year ago, long after my beloved wife passed away, I decided to go all in exploring my dressing (privately), and for me it has been wonderful.
I don’t have an SO, so that helps, but I am totally private and plan to stay that way for various reasons.
So, again, we all have a journey and glad you are here!
Enjoy exploring CDH as your comfort level dictates.