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  • #377906
    stephanie plumb
    Registered On: November 17, 2018
    Topics: 81
    Replies: 710
    Has thanked: 800 times
    Been thanked: 2202 times

    So, this lunchtime I was out walking the dog (in male clothes …… me, not the dog!)  Now, I am very observant, and have spent hundreds of hours studying people with a view to improving my AFR (Acceptability as Female Rating) when I am out as Stephanie. I have got pretty good at it.

    Anyway, about 100 yards off, and on a converging course, I spotted a very attractive, tall, slim young woman with long blonde hair.  Her arms were swinging and she was gliding along in that elegant way some  females do.

    She was wearing a smart black top with silverish trim, black slimfit jeans and pink trainers. Trailing behind were a boy and a girl about 9 or 10 years of age.

    I took her to be either their young mother or maybe older sister. She was so elegant and attractive that I looked forward to exchanging pleasantries with her.

    How wrong I was!

    As we got closer –  about 5 metres apart – I realised she was older,  much older, than I had thought. She was maybe in her late fifties or early sixty’s, with a face, still attractive, but lined and wrinkled like a dried prune, in that way that someone who has lived an outdoor life or exposed to a lot of sun can look. She was probably the children’s  granny!

    Was she dressed her age?  No.   Did she fool me about her age? Yes.  Did she look great? yes.

    A classic case of the 1661 phenomenon (for those that don’t know :- 16 from the back, 61 from the front.

    I am not a follower of the “dress your age” or “dress appropriately”  mentality.  I wear what I like and know I can carry it off..  a least at a distance.  So can you.

    Stephanie P.

    p.s. I am thinking of penning a series of posts about ‘posture and gait’  to help us girls improve our AFR rating.  Please indicate if this will be of interest.

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  • Author
    • #378405
      Joeanne Johnson
      Registered On: September 18, 2017
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 10
      Has thanked: 29 times
      Been thanked: 32 times

      I want to feel sexy but I dont want to be a spectacle…..

      However, there does seem to be a greater tolerance and even a certain fashionable trend towards the acceptance of todays Drag Queen….

      If you are visiting or out n about within certain openminded liberal communities, I think that it might be a little fun to embrace the part and play up the glam role when permissable. Like say San Fran during pride or something like that…..

      Am I thinking too tacky?

      I may need to work on more class and poise. Dont know why I feel so mischievious and tawdy tonite!

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #378452
        stephanie plumb
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 81
        Replies: 710
        Has thanked: 800 times
        Been thanked: 2202 times

        Joeanne, I suspect that you are being enveloped in the “pink mist.”  Be careful – it may entice you to open doors you haven’t found yet.

        I don’t think you are thinking too tacky. If you can find the right venue then go for it (I would if I could). But be prepared – you will need a deep purse to be able to present yourself in the way that you wish.

        Stephanie P.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #378297
      Grace Scarlett
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 135
      Has thanked: 766 times
      Been thanked: 613 times

      Hi girls

      Laura, I so totally agree…I will never dress how ” I think I should look”…..I find it depends totally on the way I am feeling, so I dress for the moment, never my age… haha…love to you all xx

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #378283
      Joanne Jackson
      Registered On: May 26, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 35
      Has thanked: 53 times
      Been thanked: 98 times

      I’m all for age appropriate dressing.

      “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.” (Desiderata)

      But to each her own.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #378272
      Paula F
      Registered On: August 7, 2019
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 518
      Has thanked: 882 times
      Been thanked: 1763 times

      I am still 21 ( with 40 anniversaries of that birthday), and for the most part I dress appropriate.  Now, by that I mean I have some very nice outfits and dresses, skirt and blouse sets, etc. I do still like letting my legs be seen so I do have some shorter skirts and shorts to wear when the weather is good.  I absolutely refuse to wear a muumuu style of covering, and I hate Bermuda style shorts.  By the same token, I don’t wear micro mini’s or short short’s/hotpants (if you girls remember those).

      All of my clothing choices are in good taste and my skirts/dresses run from just above my knee to ankle length, I love jeans and slacks, and most of my jeans eventually become cutoffs.  Some have said that I do wear my shorts a little short, but they fall somewhere between too short and Bermuda’s.  I definitely don’t try and look the way I dressed in my teens and twenties though, that was for another time and way of life.

      I like the style and cut of what I wear and enjoy being out and about in them and I believe I carry myself pretty well when I am comfortable in what I have chosen to wear.  I don’t want to have that ‘1661’ look, maybe ‘3030’ or ‘3040’ or at least age appropriate from all angles.  And it does lift my spirits a bit when I know men younger than me are checking out my bottom when I am walking in front of them.  It IS good for the ego.


    • #377992
      Celeste Starre
      Registered On: June 26, 2018
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 543
      Has thanked: 129 times
      Been thanked: 1352 times

      I don’t take age into consideration at all when I dress.  The labels in my clothes tell me the brand,size,fabric content,and washing suggestions. I’ve never once bought an article of clothing that said how old you need to be to wear it.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #377988
      Laura Lovett
      Registered On: March 26, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 316
      Has thanked: 855 times
      Been thanked: 1320 times

      I think dressing you age is one of the most important things you can do. Hiding in plain sight, one should blended into the area, not stand out.

      When you’re 6′ 4″, you stand out.

      So I say, if you stand out, be outstanding.

      No point in trying to hide or blend in, because that will never ever happen – and I am glad.

      I had a bonus day trip to Brighton today, and saw a lot of people who recognised me first.

      I did feel a bit bad, trying to remember people’s names, but when I hear someone brightly calling my name from across the street, I feel a little emotional – then, of course, I am so genuinely delighted to see them and be greeted so happily, it just validates the way I carry myself.

      I do not dress my age, I dress my feeling. How I want to feel – I look in the mirror – am I going to be this character today, or is the hemline too short, colours too bright – not bright enough, not short enough (heehee), how bubbly do I feel? Maybe I do want to turn it down a few notches – a little quiet time is nice, but I always get noticed by someone. Maybe I’m going out.

      Should a 55 year old man wear a tiny sequined dress that would have looked stunning on a 20 year old 20 years ago?

      You bet.

      If that man is Laura Lovett, she wears what she feels.

      And if it makes her feel uncomfortable, she goes back to the hotel and changes it.

      But that hardly ever happens – because I will have looked in the mirror before going out, and been totally fierce. I often reject 5 or 6 outfits

      You don’t want to wait for me to get ready!

      You can tell I’ve been out – it somehow fires me up!

      Love and socially distanced virtual hugs, Laura


      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #378173
        stephanie plumb
        Registered On: November 17, 2018
        Topics: 81
        Replies: 710
        Has thanked: 800 times
        Been thanked: 2202 times

        I’m completely with you on this one Laura.  I started my ‘going out dressing’ by trying to blend in, to not draw attention to myself, by wearing sensible clothes  in dull or muted colours, dressing my age,  hiding as much as possible, turning my face away from people, and heading for the hills if they came too close.

        Hiding in plain sight?  I now do this all the time, by wearing whatever I choose and carrying it off with confidence.  My logic goes like this:-

        People expect to see a female wearing a bright red summer dress.  They do not expect to see a man wearing a bright red summer dress.   So they see you as being female.

        And it works!  It really does.   But you know this already. It was a huge revelation to me when I discovered that hiding in plain sight literally means that.  I’m not drawing attention to myself. I am behaving exactly as they expect a female to behave.   I’m under the radar.  Not raising the ‘man in a dress’ alert.

        I sashay past them with a flounce in my step and a smile on my face, and hardly get a second glance. More often a smile or a nod.

        It raises an interesting point.  A man stomping around in a granny dress and wellies, on a summers, day stands out.    A well presented CD’er, dressed appropriately (no, not age related) on a summers day  may not ‘pass’ (horrible term ), but blends in with everyone else and will be more acceptable.  In other words, they know or suspect that I am a man, but I am dressed and behaving as if I am a woman. So that’s alright then.

        And anyway, as my post shows, age is only discernible at very close quarters, and if one keeps a little distance no one will know. And they don’t care anyway.

        Stephanie P.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #377956
      Stephanie Brown
      Registered On: July 14, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 6 times
      Been thanked: 85 times

      I am with you Stephanie as I am 66 and I look at women’s clothes for my age here up in Canada they are dowdy no shape and quite truthfully boring and terrible. I was in the UK in 2014 went shopping and would had broken the bank when I looked at the clothes their for my size 22 and bigger as they were the same as the size 14 and smaller. So I say if you are comfortable wearing nice clothes and dare I say sexy go for it for get about what society things or what some fashion so called experts say and be happy with yourself. This is better than saying I wish I could wear that and being unhappy.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #377937
      Samantha Roarke
      Registered On: April 17, 2019
      Topics: 38
      Replies: 726
      Has thanked: 1319 times
      Been thanked: 1364 times

      I think dressing you age is one of the most important things you can do. Hiding in plain sight, one should blended into the area, not stand out.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #377911
      Gillian Brown
      Registered On: May 22, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 286
      Has thanked: 458 times
      Been thanked: 431 times

      I know the problem, I suffer from the 1991 phenomenon!

      3 users thanked author for this post.
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