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Hello again ladies…
So I finally got out for a second drive. This probably seems ridiculously tame for many of you and probably absolutely terrifying for others? The first trip a week ago was very short, just up the road and back. Today’s trip was more of an excursion. I spent all of last week as Abbie and it seemed to normalize things for me, my confidence level was up, I had time and a potentially unreliable vehicle at my disposal. I did bring a ‘ditch bag’ in case I had to man-up as they say but it went unused. I also noted which properties had pride flags displayed, a surprising amount actually, in case I needed to pull in somewhere friendly but really I was just being careful.
I drove around the island I live on for 1 hour and 45 minutes! I passed many people out walking their dogs. Narrow and twisty roads means going slow especially around people and their dogs. It was hot so my windows were down making me feel a bit more exposed. Several men and one woman looked at me, smiled and waved, just being friendly, they didn’t know me. No one recoiled in shock or horror which was nice 😊. I actually stopped on a few quiet roads and took some photos. I also stopped at a beach access point with cars parked. They were empty but my adrenaline was flowing a bit at this point. I walked over to the beach stairs to get a few shots, I could hear people talking on the beach. I got away unseen and unscathed.
As I started to head back I stopped at one final pull-off with an amazing view, I thought “just enough room for me”, the road was fairly busy (a car a minute, lol). Anyway, as soon as I got out and walked around to the passenger side to take in the view a Trans Am (how appropriate) with the top down pulled in right behind me. Thankfully it was an older gentleman and his girl trying to get a look at the view. I didn’t realize this and quickly walked back around and got in my truck and started fumbling with the keys (the first time I’d shut it off on the whole trip). While I was doing this they pulled out. I was in full view, they didn’t say anything. I’m sure they saw me, they were only 10 feet away. I was super self conscious about my hands for some reason. I really need to get some distracting jewelry. Anyway, I got out of the truck again and got my shots and had a great rest of my drive.
I will do this again.
— Abbie 🥰
I love driving around. For some reason I see different things when driving enfemme. ‘He’ sees deer and dogs ‘she’ sees flowers and views. It really is a mindset thing. Plus the looks I get are priceless. Especially since I am usually driving a 3/4 ton truck. Maybe I should buy some cowgirl boots to go with my skirt and blouse.
Trisha
Ha, you probably should get some cute cowgirl boots. I should probably have a bigger truck so I don’t seem as tall by comparison lol.
— Abbie 🥰
Hello Abbie, Good for you to go out for a drive dressed a Abbie. Your confidence will grow as you go out more. Try going out & then stopping at shopping centre (Mall) just get out & walk around the car park at first, then maybe you can venture inside, it all takes time. I have only been going out in public for about a year now, started slowly then I got more confident, now I will go out all day fully dressed, go to the shops/supermarket & visit places of interest, Castles/Houses/Gardens etc. So take your time & enjoy when you go out, it is a great feeling when out fully dressed as a lady. love, Helenmarie
Thanks for the words of encouragement Helenmarie. The little island I’m on doesn’t have an indoor mall with parking garage but I could adapt your ideas for what I do have I’m sure. I’m a bit hooked on going out now. It seems to be a bit of thrill seeking and large amount of new found freedom to be explored.
— Abbie 🥰
Hello Abbie, I am pleased that you like my ideas, & that you will try & go out in which ever way you feel comfortable. As we all say it will take time, slowly at first. I had a first the other day, went in to a clothes shop & liked this dress, so I asked the assistant if I could try it on, she said yes. So went into the changing room tried it on, was ok, came out & bought it. Never tried on a dress in a shop before. The morjority of people & shop assistants are very nice & helpful to us CD, so do not worry about reactions to you in CD mode. love, Helenmarie
Hi Abbie thank you for sharing what appears to be a very nice day. I love the dress I looked at one similar and almost bought it but the size was questionable for me. You look lovely and it should be a picture you keep if nothing else a reminder how pretty you were when the years get the best of your beauty. Just keep on doing what you are doing.The very worst that can happen is some might say to themselves I thought I saw a man wearing a cute dress and she was stunning. Good for you for expressing that special part of you that we al have kept hidden for whatever reason. Stay pretty as long as you can for as long as you can. You will have no regrets.
Luv Stephanie
Thank you for the kind words Stephanie, I’m glowing now 🥰!
— Abbie 😘
Thanks for sharing Abbie. Bet you felt fabulous.
I totally get your terror at others in close proximity to you, but from your photo you have nothing to worry about.
Next time (and there will be a next time) you will be calmer, more relaxed, maybe even try some eye contact, a smile, a wave, 99.9% sure any casual interaction will be reciprocated and believe me it really is the icing on the cake. The start of you ‘relaxing into Abbie’ realising ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ even if somebody does realise you are more than you seem to be.
❤️Bianca
Thanks Bianca! I still feel fabulous today 🥰. I’m feeling so supported which will really help on my next excursion. I tried some eye contact but I realized later that I had sun glasses on while driving LOL. I should have been flashing my eyes though, my makeup worked out alright that day. Still a work in progress…
— Abbie 😘
Hi Abbie,
You look great, if I may say so.
I remember the feeling of going out for a drive the first time; the self-consciousness and fear of being spotted. After a time, with the odd exception, I realized that most people are more concerned with what they are doing and not what someone else might be wearing.
Anyway, you really do look great and if the older gent and his lady had spoken to you it would very likely be only remarks on the wonderful day.
Keep doing what makes you happy, Abbie and congratulations on taking that first big step into the outside world.
Hugs,
Aurora Eden
Thanks so much Aurora! I feel really great right now and want to keep going 😊🥰
— Abbie 😘
Pardon the pun, but this will drive you on! Well done you and just relax and act naturally next time, the time after and time after that……
One heel in front of the other! Thanks Angela 😊
— Abbie 🥰
Well done Abbie. I am sure that your confidence will continue to grow. You look fantastic so I wouldn’t worry too much about what people think.
Marie x
Thanks Marie!
— Abbie 🥰
Congratulations on you second drive and even getting out of the car. So you were seen. That’s great. I know how nerve wracking that can be but afterwards the experience can be such a rush.
For me, I did little things just like that, then began doing more and getting a bit bolder each time. Still, I was always nervous and often chickened out. But eventually I went and did the adventure.
Well done Abbie,
I have been doing that for years. My confidence is high but the thrill is always there. I love driving with the window open and feeling the warm breeze make my hemline flutter and tickle my legs.
Thanks Jin!
my hair kept blowing into my mouth but it was still enjoyable.
— Abbie 🥰
Thanks Tonya!
— Abbie 🥰
Hi Abby. You look great out on your ride. I can remember being scared to hell the first many times I went out. It gets easier and easier but the first times are also so exciting. I would stop and help a pretty lady like you anytime your semi reliable vehicle quit.
Thanks Michelle 🥰!
— Abbie 😘
Amazing story and great read thankyou for sharing. Long drives are probably going to be the way i try going out to also lovely pic to layla x
Thanks Layla,
I highly recommend it if it’s safe in your area.
— Abbie 🥰
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Congratulations Abbie. Your pic looks great and so do you sweetie. Keep on getting out and soon you won’t think much about what others see or think. Confidence is our greatest weapon against our detractors. Baby steps.
Thanks so much Michelle 🥰!
— Abbie 😘
Congratulations Abbie, I bet you feel wonderful. Love the pic, you look amazing. As you quickly noticed most people see you but actually don’t see you., in other words they see what they are expecting to see a female driving or walking. Now you have the confidence to venture out driving it opens a whole new world of freedom for you to enjoy. Lol Amanda xx
Abbie, what a great story! Thank you for sharing. Your writing captures the emotions of the event well. As I read the post, I simultaneously relive my first experiences and imagine myself in the car beside you.
The constant battle between fear and excitement can be overwhelming, but it’s a fun ride!
Rach
Rach, wouldn’t that be fun eh? A drive around the neighbourhood with another CD’er beside us. Thanks!
— Abbie 🥰
Thanks so much Stephanie! It’s jarring to realize that after all the work that goes into being our femme selves most people won’t even notice, also, what a relief.
My next big adventure might be testing the waters with my wife. She knows I dress and she’s seen me in underthings but she’s never seen Abbie. I think I’ll ask rather than showing her unexpectedly though, no point in ruining a perfectly acceptable situation. If that fails for now, I’ll always have the car drives, I have another planned this Sunday.
Now if I could just stop staring at my hands when I’m feeling a bit exposed and exude the confidence required…
Thanks again for your words of encouragement and compliments, I’ll carry them with me on my next adventure.
— Abbie 🥰
I’ve been thinking about purses lately, I feel a bit dumb all done up and my wallet sitting on the passenger seat. Plus a girl needs a few other things with her.
— Abbie 🥰
Thanks Gen for the kind and encouraging words! I’m hoping trip #3 will come this Sunday but waiting for all the stars to align just right.
— 🥰
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