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I’m lucky enough to have some loving supportive family, some not so and some that I’ve never told because of how I feel they would react.
My wife and daughter are both fantastic and they treat me the same as Cassie or in drab.
My sister hasn’t seen me dressed since we were living together over a decade ago but didn’t bat an eyelid when I turned up there today in skirt and top.
One brother and his wife know after he rocked up to my place at one stage to grab something out of my closet which was full of dresses. His wife asked me about them so I told her. Don’t see them as often as I used to.
My older brother and parents I wouldn’t dare tell as they’re still, let’s say, Old Testament. But, in saying that, mothers can be nosey so she probably knew exactly what knickers I had in my drawers as a teenager and into my 20’s.
Too many boxes. I will just say only my wife and a dear cousin know. Both are fine with me in a dress.
Yeah I was thinking that but thought if I left anyone out I’d get “what about….”
probably could have simplified it to fit my circumstances and just had male or female family know and support.
next poll I think up I’ll make shorter for sure
Cassie
😘
Alas my father passed before I came out. I have no S.O. but my sisters children are now adult and support and accept me, colleagues, friends and neighbours too so am blessed in being among wonderful people.
Makes it a lot easier when you can’t do simple daily tasks without worrying about who will see you.
Cassie😘
It’s good to have supportive family. I just need to find some friends now 😂
Cassie
😘
Hi girls,
In my case, the only member of my family who knows that I am a CD is my sister and fortunately she supports me completely, with her I can have girl talks, like about clothes and makeup and thanks to the fact that we have similar body sizes from time to time We lend each other clothes and shoes haha. I haven’t wanted to tell the rest of my family because I don’t think their reaction will be very positive.
Greetings to all girls
That’s great. Always handy to have an extra wardrobe to raid. I’m bigger than my wife & sister so no luck for me. But my daughter likes oversized tshirts so my drawers get raided
Cassie
😘
Thank you for sharing this with the sisters. Having one supportive family member is better than none, and it must be fun to borrow clothes of similar sizes. Haha. You have your reasons for not telling the rest of your family. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
Rev
The only one that knows is my wife and she is supportive. Both my parents are deceased but I don’t think they would have understood. As to my sisters and kids, they wouldn’t understand.
XOXO
SuzanneHaving a supportive wife makes a world of difference. Give her a hug from me.
Cassie😘
So many choices, it was hard to to figure out. In my case just my wife really knows, and she does support within her limits. I do think my daughters suspect, but we have have a don’t ask don’t tell thing going on. I think that is best for all four of them, why rock the boat at this late stage.
My daughter was the same. We never talked about it but I’m sure she knew. Then she walked in on me in a bra, froze for a second then carried on like it was normal. Love that girl 💕
Cassie
😘
My wife knows and supports fully, my son has to know but has never said anything(my closet is full of shoes, wigs and clothes) my wife’s sister and her family know and support.
I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one of my wife’s sisters know but nothing has ever been mentioned by them.
Cassie😘
I told my mother before she passed, several years ago, but I’m not sure she understood or just didn’t know what to say. So I can’t say she didn’t show support. I told my spouse in our first year of marriage (now 45+) and she has in her way supported me. I am too close to my adult children to take a chance telling them and lose that closeness especially since I have grandchildren from two of them. I suspect two of the three might accept it without too much hassle, but I also suspect if they knew they would want me to tell the third and I don’t think that would work for the best. (they were all raised the same way, but they have definitely different social beliefs.)
I have two brothers and two sisters and while we are still somewhat close ( we live far apart but we zoom once a month), I have no idea where they are, about understanding the various gender issues.
Hugs ChloëC
45+years wow that’s awesome. You’re a lucky lady.
I’m sure your mums smiling down on her girl and happy that you’re happy.
Cassie😘
This is a very interesting topic. Thank you for starting it, Cassie. I’m also a very lucky lady with a very loving and supportive family. My Daddy is elderly and lives at my place, so I decided one Halloween night to reveal that I’m a crossdresser. He was kind and supportive about it, and I wrote an article about this titled: Halloween Helped Me With Acceptance. The next family member that I told was my Mother (RIP) and, thanks to my Dad, she was also kind and supportive about it. She loved talking about her daughter “Rev” more than my male self. Haha. I’m so glad that I had the courage to tell my Mom that she had a daughter before she passed away. Finally, I told my sibling sister that I’m a crossdresser and, thanks to my Mom and Dad, she was kind and supportive about it. I always transformed before revealing that I’m a CD, so I didn’t just tell them. I thought it was more impressive this way. Was it risky? Yes. However, I myself thought it was better to come out and reveal that I’m a CD before getting caught at the wrong time! I have no regrets. I love my kind, supportive family. In fact, my sibling sister “Rev’s Sis” is a member of CDH. The gift of acceptance and support is very important.
Rev XOXO
That’s excellent Rev. it would’ve taken a lot of courage to out to your parents.
I’m too much of a chicken to even consider telling mine.
Cassie😘
My mother in law knows, but as far as family goes, that’s it. It’s telling that I’m emotionally safer with my wife’s mom than I am with my own family. My dad passed in 2020, my mom is in her eighties and struggling with some early dementia, and I’m afraid she’d just be confused. I have two brothers, one evangelical Christian from whom I am completely estranged for reasons unrelated to how I present, and the other is not safe for other reasons. Apart from my daughter, that’s my whole family. I may tell my daughter someday, but I’m not there yet. Thank the stars for good friends!
My mum has dementia too. It’s horrible. One of my fears about telling her is her mixing me up with with one of my brothers, talking about it and revealing it. I’ve had problems with one brother’s family and they’re the sort of people that would spread it.
im glad I told my daughter everything though. But she was already aware as she had seen my clothes and shoes and they wouldn’t fit my wife.
big hugsCassie
😘
Only my wife knows and is totally supportive. It’s makes such a difference to have someone to share this with. I wish I could, but will never tell my wider family as I know how it would be received.
Supportive wives are amazing and definitely make a massive difference. Give her a big hug from me.
Cassie😘
Good for you Jin 😀.
maybe I’ll get brave enough one day.
Cassie😘
Hi Ladies,
Only my wife and sister-in-law. My wife for obvious reasons and she’s mostly good with it. My sister-in-law for a funny reason. She’s in a high level position in her job, where she gets to wear professional outfits and is the fashion queen on the “outlaw” 😉 side of the family. At times she sends my wife boxes of clothes that she’s culling. When I hear such a box is coming, I get too excited sometimes and want to check out and try things on. Fortunately, mostly my sizes in the range of 10-12. Once she asks my wife if she got the box and saw the outfits. She said no, but let me see if the hubby has it. Questioning why I’d have it she revealed I like to CD. They had a giggle and once being at the sister-in-law’s house I was outside gathering some herbs from the garden for a dinner while she’s hanging out laundry. No one else was around and she gives me a smile, “hey, want to try this dress on?”. I was like nah not right now…My kids are teenagers and don’t need to know yet. Although, when my daughter was like 5-6, she painted my toe nails, not knowing that I was in heaven with her doing so.
My side of the family does not need to know. Let’s just say before my generation every male was in some sort of service uniform and the macho atmosphere remains, but no one has two master’s degrees like I do. No need to know for them.
XOXO
KarensaSounds like you have a great sis in law. If she was hanging out washing and asked me if I wanted to try this dress on. I probably would’ve said nah not right now… it’s wet what else you got? Then raided her closet 😂
Cassie
😘
Hi Cassie,
True it would have been wet at that time, but the point was more that when there was a family crowd around, she chose when we were close to each other and no one else would hear. I respect that she didn’t go blab off to other family members. I get to raid that closet by what she sends over, but yes it’s impressive and I’m jelly of it!
XOXO
Karensa
My Dad passed away in 1997, my Mom in 2017, and one brother passed away in 2019. None of them knew. I have two remaining siblings (one sister, one brother) who don’t know and I have no plans to tell them.
My ex knows, and eventually came around to being tolerant. (Without a category for tolerant, and with my ex no longer being an SO, I didn’t vote in that category.) When we had decided that we were going to get divorced, I wanted my children (ages 16, 19 and 21) to know at some point. First off, I was going out to meetings on a fairly regular basis, and dressing at home once my youngest found my stuff. Also, I didn’t want them to find my stuff after I was gone; if they had any questions, I wanted to be able to discuss with them.
Although I’ve told all three children, my middle child (a daughter) has never seen me dressed. She has moved out. The other two (my oldest, a son, and youngest, a daughter) are still living at home, and see me all the time, in anything from just wearing a skirt and/or a woman’s top, to fully made up, and even sometimes in more fetish wear.
It’s good that your kids that live with you are accepting so you don’t have to hide at home.
Cassie😘
Both parents have passed, but neither knew. I have no doubt my mother would have been fine with it, if a bit confused, but my father would not have liked it at all. I have no objection to people knowing, but leave it on a need-to-know basis hence few people know since I do not dress around other family members. I have two older brothers and both would think it’s weird, but just shrug and say whatever.
When I told my cousin she was perfectly lovely and curious about it and we had some long discussions. I told her it was not something I wanted spread around, but told her I had no objection if she told anyone, especially if it would benefit anyone. I don’t know if she told her husband, nor do I care.
My wife has let slip unintended comments at times, but nothing too damning, and I don’t think anybody picked up on them. I have made joking references to dressing like “I should have worn my bikini” if it is a sunny day. I have noticed one of my brothers make rare but similar comments, so maybe he dresses as well.
I like the who cares attitude. I don’t think my brothers would take it too well if I turned up as Cassie.
Cassie😘
My wife, kids (10 and 7), and my brother know and are supportive.
I currently have no plans to tell my parents. I have a tendency to upset my mother with whatever I say or do, so coming out as gender variant (CD/Trans/GNC) would likely get s similar response. I think my father would be more willing to listen and accept, but maybe not understand.
I’m on the fence about telling my sister. She has a tendency to “spill the beans” especially when she’s been drinking. She and her husband are conservative, like my parents, but she would probably accept. Her husband would not understand. The weight of her loose lips weighs heavily on me as I do want to be more open about my gender journey, but want to have more control about who knows and how.
I have told only a handful of friends and coworkers as well. All of whom are on the LGBTQ+ spectrum or have family who are gender variant.
-Natalie
I quite often wonder how many of my wife’s friends know as she tends to say more than I’d like when she’s been drinking and has a habit of calling me her big girl 😂. But no one has said anything so I’m not bothered if they know or not.
Cassie😘
I was in the wood shop yesterday wearing sandals with my toenails cherry red on display also had on a pair of bright dangley earrings. Was working and did not here the shop door open and there was my adult son. He looked at my toenails and didnt say a word. He has seen me plenty in stud type earrings but never the dangles style. I am sure he is putting it all together….A good thing I think.
Sounds like there might be a bit of don’t ask don’t tell happening. I hope if he questions it, it all works out for the best.
Cassie😘
I get the wanting to tell everyone but don’t think it would end well. I often wonder if I’m going too far with my daily dressing when I’m home and wearing what are clearly women’s tshirts out and about.
Cassie😘
I agree with your daughter, you do look amazing. You have great legs too. Your GF must be an amazing woman.
I often thought about telling my parents, then they both went through some medical issues and I decided it would just add unnecessary stress to them and keep quiet.
Cassie😘
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