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  • #585109
    Charlene Victoria
    Participant
    Registered On: November 29, 2016
    Topics: 27
    Replies: 244
    Has thanked: 1460 times
    Been thanked: 1467 times

    A lamentation.

    In my office environment there were two women with whom I connected very well. I am inclined to think that part of the reason is my femme (may I say) aura which though I don’t act overtly effeminate, I believe can be sensed by other woman though they consciously may not realize it themselves.

    As humans we possess an inherently spirit component which can and does communicate. I believe this part of me somehow connects with other cis women and makes them feel more at ease with me in a given situation. I have noticed this while also noticing, sometimes with a mental chuckle other times with a painful sadness, that conversations amongst myself and women subtly begin to change when for some unknown reason I suddenly become a man. It is almost like the femme spirit connection that has made them comfortable with me  gets short circuited so that then I must be treated as a male.

    In our office environment I have enjoyed times of, may I say girl talk? One of the ladies was expecting. I have enjoyed some motherhood talks that frankly I thought were reserved for the status of “women only.”

    With one of the ladies whom I believe is lesbian I was seriously considering opening up to her about my own trans identity.  We were all very comfortable together and such female connection helped me while en drab to manage my dysphoria.

    They have both left our firm. I am now in an environment of men. They are good men, but to be sure would never accept my trans identity and certainly can’t be connected with on a femme level.

    Yes, I lament and am left lonely at work. Such is the lot of we who are trans. Thank you ladies for being here for me.

    Kindly,

    Charlene

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    • #585359
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 834
      Has thanked: 4633 times
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      Hi Charlene. Sorry about losing your female friends just be careful you don’t try and speak to the men as you did the women because they could care less about fashion, style, or emotional issues.

      I was self employed for many years in the remodeling business and most times could connect with the wives and understand exactly what they were trying to achieve with their home projects. Later on my wife even recognized it was because of my internal female influence that connected us. Some of them even trusted my judgement over their husbands.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585338
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 49
      Replies: 1381
      Has thanked: 19861 times
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      I feel like I get that from a couple of the girls at work, but not many of them. I’m sorry you’ve list that connection in your place of work, hopefully it’ll change some day.

      Bridgette

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #585280
      Carolyne Sherman
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 20, 2018
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 546
      Has thanked: 524 times
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      Charlene I too can empathize with you regarding work environment dynamics. In my old job I interacted regularly with the ladies of the office and felt very comfortable associating with them and feel they were equally as comfortable with me. My new job does not afford me that environment and has me predominantly associating with small crews of heavily testosterone ridden men. Even though I can function in this environment I feel very much as though I am playing a part that is expected of me and not being myself. I wish you the best and solace in your new environment and hope you can find peace and if not happiness at least some normalcy or stability in that world.
      🍷C

    • #585254
      Jane Plain
      Lady
      Registered On: January 14, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 34
      Has thanked: 124 times
      Been thanked: 211 times

      Hi Charlene,

      I can really emphasize with you. I have alway had a problem connecting with male friends, I really have to work at it to a point we’re I almost find the the effort may not be worth it. With women I relax more and can be myself (however they are not aware for Jane).

      I had a long friendship with a lady at work. While we were brought together due to work our friendship continued afterwards and I always looked forward to our coffee and chats when we could fit them in. She has now moved far away so these chats are gone. It does make me sad, like yourself.

      Life is strange though and I’m sure there are bright times on the horizon. We must not look back with regret but look forward with optimism and knowledge.

      Love, Jane X.

       

    • #585228
      Connie Twirl
      Lady
      Registered On: August 18, 2021
      Topics: 16
      Replies: 591
      Has thanked: 1062 times
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      I think I’ve got one of those faintly pink auras too. I get on much better with women than I do with men.

      Connie

      xxx

    • #585219
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Charlene…

      I know exactly where you are coming from…as I have said before, I work in a small team and they are all wonderful females. We chat so openly and i wouldn’t swap it for twice the wages, I’m just one of the girls.

      I hope your sudden change in workmates does not put you off your job….so until something changes again, you will just have to bottle it all up….and then let it all out when you are on here!!!

      Huggs, grace x

      • #585250
        Charlene Victoria
        Lady
        Registered On: November 29, 2016
        Topics: 27
        Replies: 244
        Has thanked: 1460 times
        Been thanked: 1467 times

        Hi Grace. Your concern is sweet. Thank you. I’ll be alright. We stay busy at work so my mind will be occupied.

        I really never noticed how seamlessly we three ladies interacted until suddenly . . . poof, they’re gone. I noticed the vacuum created and it was then just as suddenly that I realized the nature of our of relationship was much more female slanted.

        And you are correct, I can come home to my CDH sisters for support. Thank you all for the support you have given me heretofore. Love you all.

        Charlene.

        6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585198
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 969
      Has thanked: 1858 times
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      So sorry Charlene.

      Hugs, Liara

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585176
      Marti
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 53
      Replies: 841
      Has thanked: 4129 times
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      Hi Charlene,

      Its not easy, is it? I’d feel a lot like you. In the environments I worked in there were often a good proportion of women. And it certainly changed the feel of the place.

      If I worked on committees or in a team, the dynamic was noticeably different if it was an all male one, or if there were women in the team. I never got into being ‘one of the girls’ but even so I seemed to have a valued status, by simply treating them as equals and with respect. And I should add I wasn’t the only male to follow this route.

      But a lot of men still don’t quite see that though …

      Marti xxx

    • #585155
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Sorry to hear Charlene about coworkers leaving and now surrounded by men. Just don’t let them walk over you. Maybe can get them to get you a cup of coffee one day.

      Hugs
      Donna

    • #585148
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 18
      Replies: 2782
      Has thanked: 39993 times
      Been thanked: 10093 times

      Hi Charlene so sorry you comfort zone got rearanged at work before being able to come out to the ladies there you know we are allways here for you anytime anyday  just say hello and can chat hugs girlfriend..

      Stephanie bass

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #585144
      Eda Friendly
      Lady
      Registered On: December 2, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 13 times
      Been thanked: 64 times

      Just have faith in yourself and a determination that you will prevail. You will find a better situation eventually.

    • #585129
      Stephanie Roberts
      Princess
      Registered On: May 20, 2020
      Topics: 23
      Replies: 1167
      Has thanked: 10402 times
      Been thanked: 4810 times

      Hi Charlene,
      Sorry to hear about your changes at work.
      CDH can help fill this void, through the chat, the forums, or messages You’re not alone here Charlene.
      Love and hugs from Stephanie 💖

    • #585128
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 145
      Has thanked: 79 times
      Been thanked: 658 times

      Sorry to hear of your predicament, Charlene.

      Men just don’t communicate on an emotional level very well.

      Hugs, Eileen

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