A brief first revelation that only blossomed and grew

[Anonymous]

I thought I might get your thoughts, your musings on a part of the story that first showed me the beauty of Ashleigh. It may be a story you hear all the time but I rather think it maybe quite unique.
I never knew anything of Ashleigh for four decades and a little more, my life for those decades was one great trainwreck, my first introduction to crossdressing being involuntarily dished out as a punishment for not being a man, though I was but a child of an age in single figures. But I shan t dwell there, instead we ll skip forward nearly five decades in which ,maybe, like so many males, I had a try of female wear, but more as a dare. Tried it on, it fitted and I d rip it off, challenge accomplished, but certainly no hint of something else. So here we go, take the time train to 50 years old, skip the angry years and I might ask that you don t look out of the windows as its not a pretty sight, just think The Apocalypse..lol. So here we are, my land and horses are gone, my home, everything..my choice. All I have left is a rucksack of clothes, a stove, a sleeping bag and a 6ft by 4ft by 3ft high back of my four by four. The life I knew was gone, nothing left…or so I thought.
I heard her first whisper early one morning when I was getting a little curious as to how I could dry my daily washed underwear fast, mens underwear then obviously, as it was taking so long on the dashboard as I drove lol. Every morning I did a complete all over scrub up and inspection, to make sure no little bugs had taken residence, this was done by boiling water over a woodland fire. Then I heard her, in the back of my head, quietly, a mere whisper.
“you know this would be easier if you just used the razor and shaved all those parts where they may nestle”
That was all she whispered apart from telling me its not like I had something else to do etc. So there I sat in the now warming sun, never having done this in my life before, a mess can of warm water and a very, very steady hand. To cut a long story shortI shaved everywhere I could reach, convincing myself that Roman soldiers did the same, so making it ok. Then her voice again asking me how that felt and suprisingly I acknowledged it felt so good, the dew on my skin, the breeze, the sun, all felt different and I dared to say beautiful.
Now I d realised that this voice was now louder, more in charge, confident and actually I loved her, thinking she was “something else”concocted by the natural world, a spirit maybe. Then she suggested I get dressed as she had an idea about the underwear issue before asking how do the jeans now feel…the answer was to the effect of “oh wow!”
I/ we jumped in the truck and parked outside a super store, I found my legs going to the ladies clothes department and there my eyes were opened up to satin, so light, beautiful to the touch and, of course, obviously quicker drying..of course. Now could I actually walk over to the counter and buy them…”go on, I dare you”. The feeling was incredible…pure adrenalin and suddenly something else, a voice, stronger now.
” Hello Ash, I ve been a long time waiting for you to see me, hear me, but now you have, you know the real and beautiful, you know the real you that you d been hiding for so long…now howabout we live this life”
That was my realisation that someone else dwelled inside, someone I was so scared to release no matter how beautiful, and 7 years down the line, the more I look into my past, the more I realise it was she that picked me up, it was she that made me take those steps back from the edge…
Sorry its so long but I hope you enjoy the read, you see I would never have discovered her if not for living in the woods, homeless, as she came into my life stealthily, cautiously, as I was very unstable and the possibility was touch and go as to whether the male would rebel and do something dangerous, the way he still does occassionally now, when he slips like a snake from my locked box. She went from just a trouble shooter of outdoor problems to the woman that I love so much now. x

14 users thanked author for this post.

Lorie Peace, Liara Wolfe, Bobbisue Jones, Beth Green, Angela Booth, Donna Ray, Jackie Smith, Gwyneth, Brielle Ross, Sylvia, Cassie Jayson

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[Jane Mansfield]

Goodmorning Ashleigh. Welcome to our site. Great t o read your story. Your issues are very important. You have followed your heart and inner voice, and come out on top.
Live long and prosper, as Spock would say.
Best wishes
Jane Stewart
Ed

1 user thanked author for this post.

Sylvia

[Anonymous]

Thank you, it’s not the length of life we should place reliance on but the fulfillment and pleasure of the life we have, however long or short that maybe. Have a wonderful newyears Eve and the very best wishes for 2022. Take care.

2 users thanked author for this post.

Sylvia, Beth Green

[Sylvia]

Dear Ashleigh ,

What a story indeed !
I am very happy for you that you found Ashleigh inside of yourself ,
dispite the rough road you had to travel to get there.
Have a good evening and a great and healthy 2022 ,

Love Sylvia.

3 users thanked author for this post.

Alice Underwire, Beth Green

[Anonymous]

Thank you so very much and I’m hoping I ll feel good enough to celebrate with nature at first light tomorrow. Hoping the next year is far, far better than the last 2. Take care xx

2 users thanked author for this post.

Sylvia, Beth Green

[Cassie Jayson]

What a lovely end to your story. Your life leading up this is so sad and I am so happy for you. It sounds to me that Ashleigh saved your life. I am hoping for the best for the both of you, It sounds like you have a good handle on your life now.

. . Cassie

2 users thanked author for this post.

Beth Green, Sylvia

[Anonymous]

she was my saviour, but had always been so , I just never realised or was conscious of it. Tbh she could only come out to me when I was down in the woods, living amongst nature for 2 years with no house or belongings and every day having to ensure you have fire and wood, you eat…the days were so busy but the mind changes and its still so very different…the mind expands and the eyes open, its such a different way of life…no real noise, no human interraction, no security to some extent….nature opened the channels to allow Ashleigh to stride forth lol. Hope you enjoyed it.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Bobbisue Jones, Beth Green, Gwyneth, Sylvia, Cassie Jayson

[Author]

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