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IT all began some years ago before I e’en was born.
Somehow the link between my soul and body suddenly was torn.
The hormone wash that normally turns female into male
Within the womb in my case ended up a partial fail.While body parts were changed as planned, the mind was left the same-
A female brain and soul was trapped though no one was to blame.
The early years are vague to me- so filled with fog and haze.
It wasn’t ‘til my near teen years that left me in a daze.The girls in skirts and dresses were so pretty to us guys
But unlike other boys I suddenly did realize
That lust was not what drove my thoughts envy through and through!
How terribly unfair that I could not wear dresses too.The feelings never lessened so I learned my thoughts to hide
And secretly I’d steal upstairs so no one would deride.
Those hidden days of joy I felt when dressed as I should be
For even then a part of me knew I should be a ‘she’.The years rolled quickly onward but the urges did not wane.
Instead they seemed to multiply and swiftly filled my brain.
What once I thought had been a choice was now a tidal wave
That overwhelmed the walls I’d built my sanity to save.A s both my kids had moved out, I began to get the urge
To dress as Cynthia all the time and possibly to splurge.
I’ve waited nigh on forty years to finally get to show
The part of me that hid so long and few did e’er her know!I’ve had such fun exploring life enjoying being free
To let my feminine habits show. So now the world could see
Her true appearance that I had kept hidden for so long.
It made my soul feel joyous nearly breaking into song!I don’t completely understand why some of us must face
This hard and painful journey but we’re also given Grace
To help us through the desert years before we reach the well
That when we drink delivers is to Heaven out of Hell.For God knows when it’s time for us to be who we should be
And then we’re finally able to fulfill our destiny.
Had I not lived for many years so full of lonely strife,
I might not have the kids who are the reason for my life!So I must place my trust in Him that He’ll give me a sign
To let me know when I am ready to step cross that line.
To take the steps to synthesize my body and my soul
And finally be the woman that has always been my goal.
2016_poets corner: skippy1965(Cynthia) original post:
IT all began some years ago before I e’en was born.
Somehow the link between my soul and body suddenly was torn.
The hormone wash that normally turns female into male
Within the womb in my case ended up a partial fail.
While body parts were changed as planned, the mind was left the same-
A female brain and soul was trapped though no one was to blame.
The early years are vague to me- so filled with fog and haze.
It wasn’t ‘til my near teen years that left me in a daze.
The girls in skirts and dresses were so pretty to us guys
But unlike other boys I suddenly did realize
That lust was not what drove my thoughts envy through and through!
How terribly unfair that I could not wear dresses too.
The feelings never lessened so I learned my thoughts to hide
And secretly I’d steal upstairs so no one would deride.
Those hidden days of joy I felt when dressed as I should be
For even then a part of me knew I should be a ‘she’.
The years rolled quickly onward but the urges did not wane.
Instead they seemed to multiply and swiftly filled my brain.
What once I thought had been a choice was now a tidal wave
That overwhelmed the walls I’d built my sanity to save.
A s both my kids had moved out, I began to get the urge
To dress as Cynthia all the time and possibly to splurge.
I’ve waited nigh on forty years to finally get to show
The part of me that hid so long and few did e’er her know!
I’ve had such fun exploring life enjoying being free
To let my feminine habits show. So now the world could see
Her true appearance that I had kept hidden for so long.
It made my soul feel joyous nearly breaking into song!
I don’t completely understand why some of us must face
This hard and painful journey but we’re also given Grace
To help us through the desert years before we reach the well
That when we drink delivers is to Heaven out of Hell.
For God knows when it’s time for us to be who we should be
And then we’re finally able to fulfill our destiny.
Had I not lived for many years so full of lonely strife,
I might not have the kids who are the reason for my life!
So I must place my trust in Him that He’ll give me a sign
To let me know when I am ready to step cross that line.
To take the steps to synthesize my body and my soul
And finally be the woman that has always been my goal.
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