A fellow GG asks an honest question

[Imannn]

Hi all GGs, I’m a fellow GG.
I know this forum is for CD to ask us questions but i really wanted to ask you all a question too😀 .
Are some days better than others, personally ? Do you sometimes feel personal account towards your partners CD ? Do you feel like their choices will affect your relationship at any point ? Do you sometimes not fully believe them when it comes to their personal feelings or attachment towards CD ? Sometimes i feel alone with these thought’s. My SO is the love of my life and judging his love for me and our relationship based on his CD is not what i want to do but sometimes i cant help myself. I dont feel like he’s lying about his feelings towards me but at times i feel like theres more to his CD (despite what he says).

[Honey T]

Yes, there’s ups & downs!  It took me a year for it to calm down to smoother waters. We all process & accept at a different pace & find our happy place at different levels. It’s nice to find a group that understands. Welcome aboard!

Theres also a special forum exclusive to significant others, where we can share honest feelings that might not be comfortable amongst the primary members.

[Anonymous]

Hi Imannn! Yes, check out the private section, you have to ask for permission though.

In one post, you mentioned his choices to CD. The need to dress isn’t a choice. How far it goes may be a choice to some degree. After spending so much time hidden away, this budding woman is learning as much about herself as you are.  The questions I have about his feelings, he can’t quite answer yet. Although we’re dealing with a feminine personality, he’s still a man that has a difficult time being honest with emotions.

Early on, we set limits for her time. I was not going live, sleep, or be intimate with another woman. She has her time to satisfy needs that are not a threat to our relationship. On the plus side, most of the grumpy moods have gone away.

[Cath N.]

Hi Iman, everything you describe, we have all felt one way or another. As the other ladies said, you are welcome to join us on the private forum since you are only asking GGs.
And welcome 🙂

[Ang]

Hey there 🙂 I’m not on here as much as I use to be but wanted to take time to respond to you. I think posting this in a forum where all can see can be helpful for those navigating the relationship waters and needing to tell someone about their “CD”ing.

Are some days better than others, personally ?
Yes absolutely! It can go from the highest highs to the lowest lows. I personally struggle with one specific worry and it can rear its ugly head so high, and other days not at all.

Do you sometimes feel personal account towards your partners CD ?
No – I don’t think I do. Sometimes it can feel heavy, the weight of the secret we are keeping alongside them. BUT I do not feel a personal account about it.

Do you feel like their choices will affect your relationship at any point ?
Absolutely, I believe all choices both partners make affect the relationship. That is the beauty of a relationship… you are building a life together with each action, decision, and feeling you have.

Do you sometimes not fully believe them when it comes to their personal feelings or attachment towards CD ?
This is a real tough question…. I think the missing piece here is people grow and develop. Sometimes some start with CD and later realize they are truly trans or gender fluid. So, do I believe them in the moment, and do I believe they feel that way at that specific moment in time. ABSOLUTELY! Do I worry that it could evolve into something different and what that means for me, also yes. In my case it has evolved from my partner “CD”ing into more a question of their gender, while still not a formal label it is not cisgender. So the initial thought of it is just clothes use to apply (we both thought) but now we know it is more than clothes. I think for a lot of SO’s that is a scary overwhelming thought. However, for many men it truly is just “CD”ing. I believe I am in the minority group of SO’s.

Sometimes i feel alone with these thought’s.
Girl we all feel alone with these thoughts from time to time. AND I so badly don’t want to hurt the feelings of my SO so sometimes I keep them to myself. Please know this online community is a safe place. For the CD, trans, nonbinary, gender fluid person BUT ALSO for the partner of that person. This community is pro lets figure it out together, lets love each other through it, lets support one another. We are here for you – please reach out when you feel alone. I know we are not always all on here all the time but trust me when I say we have most likely been where you are, and you are not alone. So many hugs from the SO to you my friend!

Lastly, my SO is also the love of my life. My SO is the person I want to wake up to and cuddle against every single night. I have struggled over the years….we are on year, I think 7, of me knowing. There have been some really low times, tears, but there have been amazing moments too. In some ways the “CD”ing and the gender questioning have made us closer than ever. It has also tried our trust but in that trying grown it to be stronger. It has challenged each of us to question what our future looks like and can we both handle the myriad of ways it may turn out to be. At the end of the day it came down to this for me….. in my future do I want him / her / them in my life or do I want a future without them in it…. for me I cannot even fathom doing life a single day without them. That means that I am in it, I am committed to figuring it out. AND thankfully my SO feels the same way, my SO has told me I am their person, and they knew it from the moment they met me, my SO has said I’m it for them and I choose to believe those words. Thats how we do it…. IDK if that helps or not. BUT trust me, you can get through this if you both love each other and want to stay together. Feel free to PM me anytime too.

[Author]

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