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OK – I’m home and safe, so I should relax before writing this. But I can’t wait.
I had perhaps the most frightening experience of my cross dressing life tonight on a simple walk around the block.
I was headed to the corner store for a Pepsi – a safe place, Julie has patronized that business a number of times. I snapped a photo on the way there, and as I walked on I was spoken to by a man passing on his bike. “Nice picture”, he said. I replied “Thank you” as he passed. I then heard from behind me “What the f*ck?” He turned around and started following me. I by passed the store and tried to make a bee line for home (without breaking into a run). As I approached the corner (which would put me 1/2 a block from my front door) a car pulls up to the curb right in front of me and a young man steps out. Then I notice another young man leaning on the car already parked there to my right, and 2 more crossing the street towards us. Oh, and Mr. Bicycle is still right behind me, muttering things like, “That’s some messed up sh*t, man.”
I ignored my instinct to cross the street away from the crowd right there, because that would head me AWAY from home, as well as open me up to Mr. Bicycle. So I took the corner in the midst of these youths and kept on walking. They paid me no mind – even Mr. Bicycle seemed to give up after that. I don’t mind telling you – that was a scary walk around the block. But it SHOULDN’T be! And that’s what scares me the most.
PLEASE — stay SAFE and pretty, Sweeties.
Julie, that’s terrifying. I’m happy you are safe but I am so sorry this happened.
Not to make light of your frightening experience, but a number of years ago my wife had almost the same thing happen to her while she was at a nearby park with our 2 young daughters, it makes me furious that some a-holes can’t mind their bleeping business and keep their BS to themselves.
Again, I’m happy you are okay, but probably rattled.
OMG, that is scary. The only thing I could say is, if you were close to the store (or some other store), dart in and tell the person behind the desk you’re being followed and have them call the police. The thugs will be less likely to act if there are people around. Don’t worry about having to interact with the police while dressed, they’re much less likely to give you any trouble than those thugs.
Omg! I’m so sorry that happened to you! These days we all have to be cautious of our soundings no matter how we are dressed. He was obviously a bully and not secure with himself and thought he could choose someone to harass, unfortunately paths were crossed. Dont let this deter you from going out, keep your head up sister!
Julie
Good to know your safe…aside from being rattled!! I’m so sorry that happened. Just remember…you did nothing wrong!! I say that because people can and have blamed themselves for something like that.
Its a good example of how someone like any of us needs to be ready for something like that. Especially being CD, we tend to take chances alone…even though it seems like a harmless walk to the corner store.
Especially in girl mode where you can be more vulnerable, you need to consider having something to at least level the playing field or give an advantage. Aside from the obvious, there’s plenty of things out there specifically designed for women. Small, discreet, fits in your pocket type stuff.
In this day and age, people are crazy… Be safe and be prepared.
xo – Robyn 🤗❤️
That’s a terrible thing to have happen to you, I’m glad you’re OK.
Having to deal with a jerk like that (or worse a bunch of jerks like that) is my worst nightmare. And sadly, here in the UK, none of Robyn’s suggestions for ‘levelling the playing field’ are legal. The police here are pretty good but aren’t going to be on the scene fast enough to much more than collect statements.
Still, I hope this doesn’t deter you from going out and enjoying your life as who you are.
Rachel xx
Julie
It’s really sad you got so stressed going for a walk….you cannot really plan for a scenario like that however careful you are….I so hope this freak incident does not put you off…or even worse, keep you in permanently….because if it does….the bigots win again.
I post about being out and about a lot and I hope I do not give you girls the wrong impression. It is a wonderful experience 99% of the time, but I am extremely wary and always alert. While I do not condone violence, for unwanted attention that gets too close, a knee to the groin is a great leveller…
and to be honest, you could be just as likely to face problems in drab from a mugger or a gang….. please do not let the odd setback put you off….
Stay safe Julie, stay safe everyone!!
Love, grace xx
What that is called is systemic discrimination. Were are indeed one of the groups that are a target for that oppression along with cis-women and black and brown people. As white males we are in the habit of walking around, in the dark, with a feeling of invincibility. When we are dressed as our female selves we must cast away that feeling of invincibility and look at the world as a dangerous and threatening place, just as cis-women do.
The safest place in this situation would have been to go into the store.
Stay safe, Mary
i had to read this a couple of times. it sounds like mr bike said nice picture to you. then maybe he remembered something or saw something and said what the f*ck and turned around. you might have thought he was saying it to you so you started to run. now it looks like he’s chasing you on the bike. the other guys were probably just friends meeting up. you didn’t say they were trying to stop or corner you. i think you were just thinking of the worst when it probably had nothing to do with you. you should have gone in the store. stores all have cameras. i’m sure it had nothing to do with you. but always head for a crowd and not away from it. i think its always safer in a crowd than alone on a back street if being chased. most people wont watch a guy beat up a girl or someone that looks like a girl. sorry you had a scary time. i hope this doesnt lock you back up in the closet. 99% of the people are nice to you. the only ones you usually have to look out for are when they are drunk. i hope you give it another chance.
Ladies – thank you all for your concern, input and encouragement. I will address one or two comments here.
Rachel Cross – I am certain Mr Bike was referring to me in his comments. He was headed in the opposite direction as he passed me, and after my comment he stopped and turned toward me. I did not run, I continued walking at a normal pace – even though I wanted to fly! He was fairly close behind me most of the rest of the way, including for his follow up comment.
Looking back, yes it would have been better to go into the store, as I had been in there before and received good response from the owner. But in the heat of the moment I just wanted to get home.
And no – this will NOT deter me from going out again. I had been out many times before, and plan to continue to do so.
Again, thank you all for your support.
Glad you’re safe Julie. Hugs!
Dana
Did you know that lots of guys done womens clothes secretly in there own homes, and secretly would love to go out dressed up. However, due to people they hang around with they cannot dress up for ffear of rejection leads to deep resentment and jealousy/aggression to those who can confidently be seen out in public. The problem has nothing to do with you. It was tthe cyclist being actually jealous of your confidence. If you had stayed your ground and remained polite, the general public would have been on your side…and the law would have been too. The whole situation would have put that cyclist in a bad situation and all would have been stacked against him…i think after he thought about his actions, he probably thought better just to go on his way….twas just as well for him and for you….sorry to learn of this… don’t let this unfortunate experience get to you….please just remember what i wrote ok
All the very best
Melissa
I know many of you think, or maybe hope, that Julie over-reacted, but sadly, I think there is a good chance she is quite right in her gut feeling of being in an unsafe situation. (As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learnt to trust my gut feelings).
In most places we live, the law would be on out side, but unhappily, personal experience has shown me that some people, usually ‘jock’ type guys, really have a problem with ‘different’ and any hint of a feminine side coming out.
If we go out, crowds are safest, and your own home is the safest still.
As I said in another thread, I really wish CDs had places similar to nature retreats, or even just a club type venue to hang out.
Sydney has two areas that alternative lifestylers get drawn to – Oxford St – the Gay Mardi Gras venue, and Newtown. However, if that isn’t your neighbourhood, you have to get there first.
I think your reaction was completely justified @juliemshaw. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people (men AND women, by the way) who would seek to fo us harm. Going home was smart.
I’ll post an interesting story in a minute, but I think you were wise and aware to do what you did.
Remember, if you ever have to defend yourself, go full “guy mode”, but employ the feminine advantage of using your heels as weapons… you walk like a lady, but fight like Muhammad Ali!!!
I am so relieved that you made it home safely! Ugh- I would have panicked and probably fainted. I have taken advantage of being able to hide behind a mask and wear shades or glasses when I go out for public walks dressed, and I frequent a small park about 2 miles from my house. I typically go in the late afternoon on Sundays only when there’s hardly anyone to no one around. I’ve taken risks in what I’m wearing when I walk, which are my denim cuffed high waist shorts and simple blouse or t-shirt. I’ve had some run-ins that have had my heart racing, but it’s usually elderly folks and it some times has been guys out for a run whom I’ve caught leering or doing double takes, but just keep to themselves. Wearing a mask has great advantages, since I’m not recognized but it sure has been scary because all it takes is that one time. My partner sometimes accompanies me, and I feel much safer when he does and I never have to worry. He has cautioned me to step it down a bit, but I live for my walks. It’s the one thing I enjoy now more than ever and look forward to every week.
I hope what happened doesn’t deter you. Julie deserves being able to walk wherever and whenever she wants. We’re not hurting or threatening anyone, and I just wish people would respect that and mind their own business. I am so glad you made it safely home.
I’m so glad you are safe! Being a retired peace officer I’ve commented on other posts regarding safety. I hate to say it, but there are some very bad people out there. This doesn’t have much to do with what you experienced, but rest areas are another potentially dangerous place to be for women. By the way, I carry at least one knife on me at all times. Another thing to carry is pepper spray, but I can tell you from experience to check the wind direction first. 😀
Your experience is one that I fear the most. I have had a man grab my backside in a parking lot and a BF get forceful about getting intimate, and those experiences were bad enough. To be targeted for violence just because I chose an alternate lifestyle is horrible. Thank goodness you came out of it ok.
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