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    • #779486
      Peggy Sue Williams
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: June 26, 2019
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 557
      Has thanked: 2133 times
      Been thanked: 2924 times

      A sad story, with an all too tragic ending and a reminder that many of us work in professions which place us under stress of being exposed publicly.  Moreover, a huge warning to avoid social media, if one faces the danger of public exposure.

      As someone mentioned, I bet there were many who would have supported him.

      In the 60s, 70s, & 80s, I had to keep a very low profile during my active duty military years, since I maintained a security clearance as a cryptologist.  Fast forward to the present day,  the DOD (Department of Defense) not only permits gay persons to maintain security clearances but now has an official policy permitting cross dressing.  The Navy utilized an active duty sailor’s talents as a drag queen to assist Navy recruiters recently.

      So, while progress continues to be made, there are still unfortunate incidents like the one described in this posting.

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #778826
      Sofía Alejandra Hurtado Espinoza
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: January 5, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 84
      Has thanked: 87 times
      Been thanked: 369 times

      Hi girls,
      Very tragic and sad news, what happened to our sister Brittini Blaire Summerlin (Rev. Bubba Copeland), may God rest her in his holy glory and a shameful, deplorable and miserable example of what society can be like with those of us who are outside the realm. ignorantly called “normal”, it is truly incredible that your community has forgotten the years that our sister dedicated herself to her work as mayor and pastor for the simple fact of being a CD. Crossdressing is an art, a lifestyle, a hobby, with which we have fun, we know and learn and we become more complete beings by allowing ourselves to live our femininity and by giving us a different perspective on things, we are not doing anything bad nor does doing so make us evil or perverse beings, we are just being ourselves and there should be no shame or guilt in being who we are, embracing it, living it and enjoying it. There are no words to say what it is like to have a life lost because of this and like our sister Belladonna Azul, whom I thank for sharing this here in our beautiful CDH community and for offering her help to help prevent tragedies like this I invite all our sisters to seek professional help when they are experiencing emotional difficulties that they feel they are overcoming. I myself can testify to how positive this is because a couple of years ago I was in therapy for some time and since then I have I lived and enjoyed my crossdressing like I never had before.

      Unfortunately all CDs, especially private ones like me, are exposed to public humiliation and harassment if this aspect of our life becomes popular knowledge, that this aspect is something extremely personal and intimate, like any person who has aspects private, personal and intimate, and it should be something that is treated like this, but unfortunately it is not like that and that is why it is very good for us to have resources like those given to us by this wonderful site called CDH and to receive all the support from our sisters. , which is undoubtedly something that is demonstrated every day, let this continue like this sisters and I hope that tragedies like this stop happening.

      Greetings to all girls

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #778836
        Revel
        Baroness
        Registered On: December 5, 2020
        Topics: 15
        Replies: 633
        Has thanked: 1550 times
        Been thanked: 2317 times

        Sofy,

        I was hoping that you would reply. I knew that you could help shed some light. Thank you for sharing your thoughts concerning this sad and tragic event, and especially your comforting advice. I completely agree, my friend. It’s a comforting thought to know that we have resources such as this wonderful site, and us ladies know the truth about how kind and caring CDs really are. CDH is our home and we’re a family here.

        Rev XOXO

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #778732
      Karynn Norman
      Lady
      Registered On: October 27, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 54
      Has thanked: 7 times
      Been thanked: 173 times

      The sad part of this story is that any of us that are concealing our cding is vulnerable to this kind of attack. I have many friends who are so narrow minded that if my secret was made public, it would destroy my wife’s majority of friends and most of mine. There would be no way we could remain in our 1900’s way of thinking community. It is so sad that peope are so concerned about what we do instead of keeping their house in order. Karynn does nothing to harm or insult others.

    • #778667
      Venus Envy
      Lady
      Registered On: April 9, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 104
      Has thanked: 83 times
      Been thanked: 444 times

      This was a hate crime.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #778592
      Suzanne Martin
      Hostess
      Registered On: January 8, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 806
      Has thanked: 7572 times
      Been thanked: 3411 times

      Very sad to hear this story. Unfortunately I’m sure there are many more that we don’t hear about. Listening to the news anymore is depressing as there are always stories about some type of discrimination, be it race, ethnicity, religion, sexual or gender orientation. You would think in this age of information availability people would be able to educate themselves and realize acceptance is better than exclusion. Unfortunately there are those that take the lead of others in becoming hateful. Hopefully one day tolerance will be the norm and no one will need to live in fear.

      Please be careful out there and remember that there is help available, be it a suicide hotline or therapy. Life is precious and regardless of how one may feel they are loved by someone.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #778551
      Lola Caprice
      Baroness
      Registered On: May 26, 2021
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 452
      Has thanked: 2765 times
      Been thanked: 2137 times

      I am so disheartened.  It seemed our society was becoming more accepting, at least in the US but recently tides have turned.. I hate it SO MUCH!  As a Christian person who attends a church that embraces all genders I’m heartbroken by this.

      Rest in peace Brittini.  You are with God now and God loves you.

      💖💖💖Lola

    • #778530
      Amy Myers
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 11, 2019
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 1713
      Has thanked: 5286 times
      Been thanked: 5753 times

      Truly a sad state of affairs, when a wonderful person like he/she was feels suicide is the only way out.

      Last year I was involved with providing comfort to a woman who was struggling with the suicide of a dear friend who was trans. That person decided to end it all, not because of any outside agency but due to family intolerance.

      There are so many who feel this is their only alternative which is sad no matter how you look at it.

      Amy

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #778493
      Madeline Bradford
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2023
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 220
      Has thanked: 342 times
      Been thanked: 986 times

      If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide in the United States,  call 988 for help.

    • #778486
      Revel
      Baroness
      Registered On: December 5, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 633
      Has thanked: 1550 times
      Been thanked: 2317 times

      This is indeed a tragedy. Crossdressers are some of the kindest people I have ever known. It’s a comforting feeling knowing there are support groups and CDH. However, people can be cruel and judgemental on social media, and in public.

      I myself prefer to be a private crossdresser. Sadly, it’s becoming increasingly dangerous for us ladies. Sigh. Be careful out there.

      Rev XOXO

      • #778599
        Emily Alt
        Managing Ambassador
        Registered On: August 24, 2019
        Topics: 125
        Replies: 1787
        Has thanked: 2328 times
        Been thanked: 9466 times

        “Crossdressers are some of the kindest people I have ever known.”

        I’ll expand on that and say everyone I’ve met from the LGBTQ community are some of the kindest people I have ever known.  None of us deserve the hate that’s directed our way.  We just want to live our lives free of discrimination and intolerance.  Every life cut short by hate and intolerance is a tragedy.

        Rest in peace Brittani.

        /EA

         

        • #778653
          Amy Myers
          Baroness
          Registered On: February 11, 2019
          Topics: 24
          Replies: 1713
          Has thanked: 5286 times
          Been thanked: 5753 times

          I can only second your’s and Revel’s comments wholeheartedly. I’m the President of a local CD and Trans social and support group with membership about 250 folks.

          Obviously this has brought me into contact with a huge number of people and everyone I’ve met, hundreds, and likely that number is way higher, in the LGBTQ community have been such lovely people. Many are smart, talented, and always compassionate, but that doesn’t matter, as we are all People, Humans, but wired a bit different than most and we just want to try to live our lives in peace and happiness.

          Amy

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #778464
      Ellie Davis
      Duchess
      Registered On: July 1, 2023
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 867
      Has thanked: 3243 times
      Been thanked: 3494 times

      Hi girls

      After Lauren said ‘It’s an increasingly dangerous place’ I found myself wanting to know … well, is it?

      So I did a bit of digging about the situation here in the UK. The most obvious place to turn to was the National Crime Statistics.

      *Spoiler alert: Yes … it IS an increasingly dangerous place*

      In the year ending March 2023, the figures show that there were 4,732 hate crimes against transgender people in the UK, which is a rise of 11% on the previous year. I don’t want to get political, and I hope no-one will wade in and try to make this about politics in any way, but the Home Office report on the figures said that: “Transgender issues have been heavily discussed by politicians, the media and on social media over the last year, which may have led to an increase in these offences”. The report also states that transgender-based hate crimes are less likely to result in a charge or court summons than other hate crimes.

      The LGBQT+ anti-abuse charity Galop pointed out that the increase in anti-transgender hate crime is ACTUALLY far higher, since the government’s own research indicates that over 90% of anti-LGBQT+ crimes go unreported.

      So, thank you Belladonna for highlighting this tragic story. I’m going to quote what you said again, since it bears repeating:

      We are not doing anything illegal, violent/directly harmful to any living being. We are literally playing dress up. The same way actor/actresses do in movies and theatre plays. It is unfortunate for a human life to be lost because of the shame and guilt of cross dressing. Our hobby/craft/lifestyle is no different from someone who builds model train sets in their home. We have nothing to fear or be ashamed of. In fact, many of us should be proud of who we are as people, contributing to this big melting pot called life and how good we look en femme.

      I’m so glad that younger people are much more accepting of our community than their older counterparts, but the positive effect of that is going to take a good while to filter through into wider society.

      Stay safe, girls.

      Hugs to all

      Ellie x

      • #778478
        Karensa Peacher
        Duchess
        Registered On: March 22, 2019
        Topics: 2
        Replies: 82
        Has thanked: 154 times
        Been thanked: 301 times

        Hi Ellie,
        Unfortunately, the haters are out there. I had two instances where it was REALLY uncomfortable. Each of those I was in drab mode, but I had some “evidence” of femininity. Even living in classically liberal Denver, CO area. Once, it was summer and I went into a gas station to get a couple of snacks. I was pure drab, in shorts, and a T-shirt. Well, my legs were shaved and my toe nails were bright red and I had flip flops on. Two hillbillies behind me in line loudly whispering: “who the f would do that”, “what a freak”, then I pay and walk out quick, where they both decide to yell out the 3-letter f word. Another one, very similar and same type of “exposure” at a playground with my kids. At the time my daughter would partake in painting my toe nails. There the insult was “what a tranny”. I’m leery of going out by myself when fully dressed up, even though I’m 6′ 6″ with my heels on LOL.
        XOXO
        Karensa

        6 users thanked author for this post.
        • #778682
          Ginah H
          Lady
          Registered On: February 15, 2019
          Topics: 2
          Replies: 23
          Has thanked: 1 time
          Been thanked: 72 times

          I have to say I’ve never had a situation where I’ve felt unsafe, my legs are smooth, toes always pretty, women’s styled shorts all summer, and perhaps I’ve heard the rare murmur or seen an occasional look, I’ve never had someone act as uncivilized as what you describe…I had one pair of old wrinkled dudes chatting between themselves and gesturing towards my toes as I walked by, when I walked by the other way I gave them a hearty good morning, and said yea, I know, the color is bold, but it matched my bra, as I snapped the strap under my tshirt. They both just about swallowed their false teeth. I don’t go out in a dress and heels, but do blur the fashion lines in as many ways as I can while still being “boy”..

          3 users thanked author for this post.
          • #778748
            Karensa Peacher
            Duchess
            Registered On: March 22, 2019
            Topics: 2
            Replies: 82
            Has thanked: 154 times
            Been thanked: 301 times

            Hi Ginah,
            Good for you. My point was that I got that experience while being drab. There were other times where I was much more dressed up and it went fine. Suppose different setting and a gas station doesn’t necessarily have the most accepting characters. Had a lady in a liquor store tell me my bra was showing, my reply was ummm that’s the point! At a VS while getting some lotion and perfume, I was dressed up head to toe, and the ladies there were complimenting me and telling me they couldn’t walk as well in heels as I was. Bottom line, got to be careful and choose appropriate dressing depending on where one is going.
            XOXO
            Karensa

            2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #778753
            Ellie Davis
            Duchess
            Registered On: July 1, 2023
            Topics: 14
            Replies: 867
            Has thanked: 3243 times
            Been thanked: 3494 times

            Hey Karensa

            I think that you’re spot on. Sometimes, we’re going to have positive experiences. At those times we can feel accepted, and welcome, and think that society is changing for the better and that everything is rosy. You can be fully en femme and receive nothing but compliments, even if you don’t pass. There are some lovely, beautiful people in the world.

            But none of this means that you should ever relax your guard … because the haters exist too. Your experiences show that only too well.

            As part of a book project I’m working on, I’ve been through lots of blogs and books (and the recent responses to a forum post by my wonderful friend Natalie Dane) and tried to put together a series of guidelines for staying safe while dressed. If anyone would like this, then message me and I’ll pass it on.

            Hugs

            Ellie x

            2 users thanked author for this post.
          • #778771
            Karensa Peacher
            Duchess
            Registered On: March 22, 2019
            Topics: 2
            Replies: 82
            Has thanked: 154 times
            Been thanked: 301 times

            Hi Ellie,

            In many ways being a cross dresser is experiencing the vulnerability that women experience, and sometimes even more. For a good resource, Micki Finn has a good checklist of what to check for just going out to dinner dressed up. I have my own as well, and variations depending on where I plan to go, and it’s simple from the top, almost if it doesn’t feel right don’t push it. As much as I would like to go everywhere in a skimpy LBD, 5″ heels and fully made up, that would make me stand out too much. Watch other women, most are casual (way to casual in my opinion) in most settings or if they dress up it’s more conservative. Not too many sequin dresses at the mall or restaurants. In my younger days, I got away with a bit that I wouldn’t dare do now, oh and it was fun at the time. Times have changed too unfortunately for the worst in some cases. Yes, there may be more acceptance, but also less safe everywhere.

            XOXO
            Karensa

            2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #778451
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 858
      Has thanked: 694 times
      Been thanked: 3776 times

      I read that story earlier today. The sad thing is that she would probably have been surprised at just how many people would have actually supported her instead of condemned her.

    • #778428
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 43
      Replies: 853
      Has thanked: 18184 times
      Been thanked: 5169 times

      It is interesting to see what can happen when we try to have a dual life on social media, one that is named as a female and the other as male. I have a Facebook page where I came out to the world as being transgender, I haven’t hidden who I am and have always been. I have received hateful comments but always from nameless sources. I’m legally a woman, an intersex female, so what is anyone going to accuse me of?

      It is so hard to read about this tragedy, I am emotionally moved and have to say to all my sisters, be careful out there, it is an increasingly dangerous place.

      Hugs girls,

      Ms. Lauren M

    • #778397
      Venus Envy
      Lady
      Registered On: April 9, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 104
      Has thanked: 83 times
      Been thanked: 444 times

      When a closet is a prison.

      This small town mindset is what I remember when new confidantes say “In this day and age? Pfftt!”

      Not as much now, but in the midsixties, this was the shaming and ruination I feared from my small town.
      And I felt the church was telling me I would go to hell for it.

      I think the story’s use of “transgender” instead of “crossdresser” or “transvestite” illustrates the fear, hate, and misunderstanding of us.

      To paraphrase Lyle Lovett’s song
      “God may forgive them, but I won’t ”

    • #778344
      Angela Booth
      Baroness
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 1880
      Has thanked: 6388 times
      Been thanked: 8572 times

      This is very sad and disturbing news as what does it matter what she does in private as clearly did a lot of good work and shows the hazards of joining social media. It shows that whoever exposed this to the press perhaps had ulterior motives and the news outlet that made it public had a ‘great’ story which would lead to more. However I wonder if there is any possible thought to this tragic outcome, any guilt or responsibility?

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