- November 4, 2023 at 1:59 am #778339Belladonna BluestParticipantRegistered On: July 30, 2023Topics: 5Replies: 43Has thanked: 166 timesBeen thanked: 243 times
Our fellow cross dressing sister Brittini Blaire Summerlin / Rev. Bubba Copeland (1961-2023), has taken his/her own life after being outed by the media. His/her photos (which were taken by his/her wife) were posted online. He/She released a statement on Thursday, before taking his/her own life on Friday afternoon. It is very unfortunate and sad, his/her statement fell on deaf ears: “What I do in private life has nothing to do with what I do in my holy life,” Copeland continued. “Does this have any effect on me being mayor, that I sometimes put on a dress or sometimes put on makeup? Does that have anything to do whatsoever with me being mayor or being a pastor?”
I would like to remind all of us: We are not doing anything illegal, violent/directly harmful to any living being. We are literally playing dress up. The same way actor/actresses do in movies and theater plays. It is unfortunate for a human life to be lost because of the shame and guilt of cross dressing. Our hobby/craft/lifestyle is no different from someone whom builds model train sets in their home. We have nothing to fear or be ashamed of. In fact, many of us should be proud of whom we are as people, contributing to this big melting pot called life and how good we look En Femme.
I urge anyone whom is facing any emotional difficulties to seek therapy. I myself have and am open to sharing with your my experiences and links to a reasonable costing and safe experience. I would rather we speak about it, then another life be lost.
Our condolences to Brittini Blaire Summerlin / Rev. Bubba Copeland family and friends.
With all my support and sadness,
The bluest Belladonna
- This topic was modified 3 weeks ago by Belladonna Bluest.
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- November 8, 2023 at 2:21 pm #779486Peggy Sue WilliamsDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: June 26, 2019Topics: 27Replies: 557Has thanked: 2133 timesBeen thanked: 2924 times
A sad story, with an all too tragic ending and a reminder that many of us work in professions which place us under stress of being exposed publicly. Moreover, a huge warning to avoid social media, if one faces the danger of public exposure.
As someone mentioned, I bet there were many who would have supported him.
In the 60s, 70s, & 80s, I had to keep a very low profile during my active duty military years, since I maintained a security clearance as a cryptologist. Fast forward to the present day, the DOD (Department of Defense) not only permits gay persons to maintain security clearances but now has an official policy permitting cross dressing. The Navy utilized an active duty sailor’s talents as a drag queen to assist Navy recruiters recently.
So, while progress continues to be made, there are still unfortunate incidents like the one described in this posting.
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- November 5, 2023 at 7:26 pm #778826Sofía Alejandra Hurtado EspinozaDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: January 5, 2022Topics: 0Replies: 84Has thanked: 87 timesBeen thanked: 369 times
Very tragic and sad news, what happened to our sister Brittini Blaire Summerlin (Rev. Bubba Copeland), may God rest her in his holy glory and a shameful, deplorable and miserable example of what society can be like with those of us who are outside the realm. ignorantly called “normal”, it is truly incredible that your community has forgotten the years that our sister dedicated herself to her work as mayor and pastor for the simple fact of being a CD. Crossdressing is an art, a lifestyle, a hobby, with which we have fun, we know and learn and we become more complete beings by allowing ourselves to live our femininity and by giving us a different perspective on things, we are not doing anything bad nor does doing so make us evil or perverse beings, we are just being ourselves and there should be no shame or guilt in being who we are, embracing it, living it and enjoying it. There are no words to say what it is like to have a life lost because of this and like our sister Belladonna Azul, whom I thank for sharing this here in our beautiful CDH community and for offering her help to help prevent tragedies like this I invite all our sisters to seek professional help when they are experiencing emotional difficulties that they feel they are overcoming. I myself can testify to how positive this is because a couple of years ago I was in therapy for some time and since then I have I lived and enjoyed my crossdressing like I never had before.
Unfortunately all CDs, especially private ones like me, are exposed to public humiliation and harassment if this aspect of our life becomes popular knowledge, that this aspect is something extremely personal and intimate, like any person who has aspects private, personal and intimate, and it should be something that is treated like this, but unfortunately it is not like that and that is why it is very good for us to have resources like those given to us by this wonderful site called CDH and to receive all the support from our sisters. , which is undoubtedly something that is demonstrated every day, let this continue like this sisters and I hope that tragedies like this stop happening.
Greetings to all girls
- November 5, 2023 at 8:02 pm #778836RevelBaronessRegistered On: December 5, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 633Has thanked: 1550 timesBeen thanked: 2317 times
I was hoping that you would reply. I knew that you could help shed some light. Thank you for sharing your thoughts concerning this sad and tragic event, and especially your comforting advice. I completely agree, my friend. It’s a comforting thought to know that we have resources such as this wonderful site, and us ladies know the truth about how kind and caring CDs really are. CDH is our home and we’re a family here.
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- November 5, 2023 at 10:26 am #778732Karynn NormanLadyRegistered On: October 27, 2022Topics: 2Replies: 54Has thanked: 7 timesBeen thanked: 173 times
The sad part of this story is that any of us that are concealing our cding is vulnerable to this kind of attack. I have many friends who are so narrow minded that if my secret was made public, it would destroy my wife’s majority of friends and most of mine. There would be no way we could remain in our 1900’s way of thinking community. It is so sad that peope are so concerned about what we do instead of keeping their house in order. Karynn does nothing to harm or insult others.
- November 5, 2023 at 7:22 am #778667
- November 5, 2023 at 1:20 am #778592Suzanne MartinHostessRegistered On: January 8, 2020Topics: 9Replies: 806Has thanked: 7572 timesBeen thanked: 3411 times
Very sad to hear this story. Unfortunately I’m sure there are many more that we don’t hear about. Listening to the news anymore is depressing as there are always stories about some type of discrimination, be it race, ethnicity, religion, sexual or gender orientation. You would think in this age of information availability people would be able to educate themselves and realize acceptance is better than exclusion. Unfortunately there are those that take the lead of others in becoming hateful. Hopefully one day tolerance will be the norm and no one will need to live in fear.
Please be careful out there and remember that there is help available, be it a suicide hotline or therapy. Life is precious and regardless of how one may feel they are loved by someone.
- November 4, 2023 at 8:23 pm #778551Lola CapriceBaronessRegistered On: May 26, 2021Topics: 13Replies: 452Has thanked: 2765 timesBeen thanked: 2137 times
I am so disheartened. It seemed our society was becoming more accepting, at least in the US but recently tides have turned.. I hate it SO MUCH! As a Christian person who attends a church that embraces all genders I’m heartbroken by this.
Rest in peace Brittini. You are with God now and God loves you.
- November 4, 2023 at 6:47 pm #778530Amy MyersBaronessRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 24Replies: 1713Has thanked: 5286 timesBeen thanked: 5753 times
Truly a sad state of affairs, when a wonderful person like he/she was feels suicide is the only way out.
Last year I was involved with providing comfort to a woman who was struggling with the suicide of a dear friend who was trans. That person decided to end it all, not because of any outside agency but due to family intolerance.
There are so many who feel this is their only alternative which is sad no matter how you look at it.
- November 4, 2023 at 4:12 pm #778493Madeline BradfordDuchessRegistered On: February 5, 2023Topics: 6Replies: 220Has thanked: 342 timesBeen thanked: 986 times
- November 4, 2023 at 3:57 pm #778486BaronessRegistered On: December 5, 2020Topics: 15Replies: 633Has thanked: 1550 timesBeen thanked: 2317 times
This is indeed a tragedy. Crossdressers are some of the kindest people I have ever known. It’s a comforting feeling knowing there are support groups and CDH. However, people can be cruel and judgemental on social media, and in public.
I myself prefer to be a private crossdresser. Sadly, it’s becoming increasingly dangerous for us ladies. Sigh. Be careful out there.
- November 5, 2023 at 2:07 am #778599Emily AltManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 125Replies: 1787Has thanked: 2328 timesBeen thanked: 9466 times
“Crossdressers are some of the kindest people I have ever known.”
I’ll expand on that and say everyone I’ve met from the LGBTQ community are some of the kindest people I have ever known. None of us deserve the hate that’s directed our way. We just want to live our lives free of discrimination and intolerance. Every life cut short by hate and intolerance is a tragedy.
Rest in peace Brittani.
- November 5, 2023 at 7:16 am #778653Amy MyersBaronessRegistered On: February 11, 2019Topics: 24Replies: 1713Has thanked: 5286 timesBeen thanked: 5753 times
I can only second your’s and Revel’s comments wholeheartedly. I’m the President of a local CD and Trans social and support group with membership about 250 folks.
Obviously this has brought me into contact with a huge number of people and everyone I’ve met, hundreds, and likely that number is way higher, in the LGBTQ community have been such lovely people. Many are smart, talented, and always compassionate, but that doesn’t matter, as we are all People, Humans, but wired a bit different than most and we just want to try to live our lives in peace and happiness.
- November 4, 2023 at 1:45 pm #778464Ellie DavisDuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
After Lauren said ‘It’s an increasingly dangerous place’ I found myself wanting to know … well, is it?
So I did a bit of digging about the situation here in the UK. The most obvious place to turn to was the National Crime Statistics.
*Spoiler alert: Yes … it IS an increasingly dangerous place*
In the year ending March 2023, the figures show that there were 4,732 hate crimes against transgender people in the UK, which is a rise of 11% on the previous year. I don’t want to get political, and I hope no-one will wade in and try to make this about politics in any way, but the Home Office report on the figures said that: “Transgender issues have been heavily discussed by politicians, the media and on social media over the last year, which may have led to an increase in these offences”. The report also states that transgender-based hate crimes are less likely to result in a charge or court summons than other hate crimes.
The LGBQT+ anti-abuse charity Galop pointed out that the increase in anti-transgender hate crime is ACTUALLY far higher, since the government’s own research indicates that over 90% of anti-LGBQT+ crimes go unreported.
So, thank you Belladonna for highlighting this tragic story. I’m going to quote what you said again, since it bears repeating:
We are not doing anything illegal, violent/directly harmful to any living being. We are literally playing dress up. The same way actor/actresses do in movies and theatre plays. It is unfortunate for a human life to be lost because of the shame and guilt of cross dressing. Our hobby/craft/lifestyle is no different from someone who builds model train sets in their home. We have nothing to fear or be ashamed of. In fact, many of us should be proud of who we are as people, contributing to this big melting pot called life and how good we look en femme.
I’m so glad that younger people are much more accepting of our community than their older counterparts, but the positive effect of that is going to take a good while to filter through into wider society.
Stay safe, girls.
Hugs to all
- November 4, 2023 at 3:07 pm #778478Karensa PeacherDuchessRegistered On: March 22, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 82Has thanked: 154 timesBeen thanked: 301 times
Unfortunately, the haters are out there. I had two instances where it was REALLY uncomfortable. Each of those I was in drab mode, but I had some “evidence” of femininity. Even living in classically liberal Denver, CO area. Once, it was summer and I went into a gas station to get a couple of snacks. I was pure drab, in shorts, and a T-shirt. Well, my legs were shaved and my toe nails were bright red and I had flip flops on. Two hillbillies behind me in line loudly whispering: “who the f would do that”, “what a freak”, then I pay and walk out quick, where they both decide to yell out the 3-letter f word. Another one, very similar and same type of “exposure” at a playground with my kids. At the time my daughter would partake in painting my toe nails. There the insult was “what a tranny”. I’m leery of going out by myself when fully dressed up, even though I’m 6′ 6″ with my heels on LOL.
- November 5, 2023 at 7:31 am #778682Ginah HLadyRegistered On: February 15, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 23Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 72 times
I have to say I’ve never had a situation where I’ve felt unsafe, my legs are smooth, toes always pretty, women’s styled shorts all summer, and perhaps I’ve heard the rare murmur or seen an occasional look, I’ve never had someone act as uncivilized as what you describe…I had one pair of old wrinkled dudes chatting between themselves and gesturing towards my toes as I walked by, when I walked by the other way I gave them a hearty good morning, and said yea, I know, the color is bold, but it matched my bra, as I snapped the strap under my tshirt. They both just about swallowed their false teeth. I don’t go out in a dress and heels, but do blur the fashion lines in as many ways as I can while still being “boy”..
- November 5, 2023 at 12:33 pm #778748Karensa PeacherDuchessRegistered On: March 22, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 82Has thanked: 154 timesBeen thanked: 301 times
Good for you. My point was that I got that experience while being drab. There were other times where I was much more dressed up and it went fine. Suppose different setting and a gas station doesn’t necessarily have the most accepting characters. Had a lady in a liquor store tell me my bra was showing, my reply was ummm that’s the point! At a VS while getting some lotion and perfume, I was dressed up head to toe, and the ladies there were complimenting me and telling me they couldn’t walk as well in heels as I was. Bottom line, got to be careful and choose appropriate dressing depending on where one is going.
- November 5, 2023 at 12:58 pm #778753Ellie DavisDuchessRegistered On: July 1, 2023Topics: 14Replies: 867Has thanked: 3243 timesBeen thanked: 3494 times
I think that you’re spot on. Sometimes, we’re going to have positive experiences. At those times we can feel accepted, and welcome, and think that society is changing for the better and that everything is rosy. You can be fully en femme and receive nothing but compliments, even if you don’t pass. There are some lovely, beautiful people in the world.
But none of this means that you should ever relax your guard … because the haters exist too. Your experiences show that only too well.
As part of a book project I’m working on, I’ve been through lots of blogs and books (and the recent responses to a forum post by my wonderful friend Natalie Dane) and tried to put together a series of guidelines for staying safe while dressed. If anyone would like this, then message me and I’ll pass it on.
- November 5, 2023 at 2:53 pm #778771Karensa PeacherDuchessRegistered On: March 22, 2019Topics: 2Replies: 82Has thanked: 154 timesBeen thanked: 301 times
In many ways being a cross dresser is experiencing the vulnerability that women experience, and sometimes even more. For a good resource, Micki Finn has a good checklist of what to check for just going out to dinner dressed up. I have my own as well, and variations depending on where I plan to go, and it’s simple from the top, almost if it doesn’t feel right don’t push it. As much as I would like to go everywhere in a skimpy LBD, 5″ heels and fully made up, that would make me stand out too much. Watch other women, most are casual (way to casual in my opinion) in most settings or if they dress up it’s more conservative. Not too many sequin dresses at the mall or restaurants. In my younger days, I got away with a bit that I wouldn’t dare do now, oh and it was fun at the time. Times have changed too unfortunately for the worst in some cases. Yes, there may be more acceptance, but also less safe everywhere.
- November 4, 2023 at 12:59 pm #778451Fiona BlackBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 23, 2019Topics: 1Replies: 858Has thanked: 694 timesBeen thanked: 3776 times
I read that story earlier today. The sad thing is that she would probably have been surprised at just how many people would have actually supported her instead of condemned her.
- November 4, 2023 at 11:03 am #778428Lauren MugnaiaDuchessRegistered On: November 1, 2021Topics: 43Replies: 853Has thanked: 18184 timesBeen thanked: 5169 times
It is interesting to see what can happen when we try to have a dual life on social media, one that is named as a female and the other as male. I have a Facebook page where I came out to the world as being transgender, I haven’t hidden who I am and have always been. I have received hateful comments but always from nameless sources. I’m legally a woman, an intersex female, so what is anyone going to accuse me of?
It is so hard to read about this tragedy, I am emotionally moved and have to say to all my sisters, be careful out there, it is an increasingly dangerous place.
Ms. Lauren M
- November 4, 2023 at 8:20 am #778397Venus EnvyLadyRegistered On: April 9, 2022Topics: 0Replies: 104Has thanked: 83 timesBeen thanked: 444 times
When a closet is a prison.
This small town mindset is what I remember when new confidantes say “In this day and age? Pfftt!”
Not as much now, but in the midsixties, this was the shaming and ruination I feared from my small town.
And I felt the church was telling me I would go to hell for it.
I think the story’s use of “transgender” instead of “crossdresser” or “transvestite” illustrates the fear, hate, and misunderstanding of us.
To paraphrase Lyle Lovett’s song
“God may forgive them, but I won’t ”
- November 4, 2023 at 3:18 am #778344Angela BoothBaronessRegistered On: August 1, 2020Topics: 12Replies: 1880Has thanked: 6388 timesBeen thanked: 8572 times
This is very sad and disturbing news as what does it matter what she does in private as clearly did a lot of good work and shows the hazards of joining social media. It shows that whoever exposed this to the press perhaps had ulterior motives and the news outlet that made it public had a ‘great’ story which would lead to more. However I wonder if there is any possible thought to this tragic outcome, any guilt or responsibility?
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