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There is a part of my life I don’t talk about a lot,the abuse my dad put me through.It was horrible and treated me like a piece of garbage,didn’t have a good relationship with him at all.Growing up,he wanted me to grow up like any normal little boy,rough and tough which this wasn’t me at all.At age 5 or 6,knew I was transgender in a way and mom suspected I was this way.I remember at 8 years old,came in sitting on on the couch crossing my legs and my dad hated it.He went over grabbing my legs uncrossing them calling me the F word a gay man is called.My mom heard and went off my dad on this.I went in my room upset with the door closed,mom saw me do this.She knocked on the door and let her in.Comforted me and said that was not me at all.Dad did have a little effort to apologize to me about,it was not good enough.Then it was with me looking through a women’s clothing catalog my mom got in the mail.Dad caught me looking through it and took it away from me throwing it in the garbage can.Called me a freak.Left and told mom what he did,she wasn’t too happy what he did to me.She was real angry this time and told him quit controlling my life letting me be me.Last straw,was him finding out I tried on a pair of pantyhose my mom gave me two days later at age 12.Mom stepped in telling him she had enough of the abuse he was putting me through.She went into the kitchen grabbing a garbage bag putting in his clean clothes she got out of the dryer in there and tied it up throwing it outside.Told him get his no good butt out of her house now.My eyes lit up when she did this,she stood up for me and still proud of her for this to this day.Decided to chose me over him.I was not there when he got the rest of his stuff the next and and never seen him after that.I felt so glad he was gone I could be me finally.
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Liz thank you for sharing your story with us, that must have been absolute hell for you.
What a fantastic mum you have, well done you for talking about it.
Love and Best Wishes
Sarah xx
It was hell he put me through
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Registered On: September 16, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 175Has thanked: 813 timesBeen thanked: 701 timesLiz thank you for sharing your story with us, that must have been absolute hell for you.
What a fantastic mum you have, well done you for talking about it.
Love and Best Wishes
Sarah xx
2 users thanked author for this post.
Thank you for sharing your story Liz. I grew up with an abusive father also. In my experience, the first step in healing from that abuse is to talk about it with people that you trust.
– Robyn
I trusted my mom and this therapist.My dad told the abuse he put me was his love from him,it was not which it was hatred.
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Thank you for sharing your story Liz. I grew up with an abusive father also. In my experience, the first step in healing from that abuse is to talk about it with people that you trust.
– Robyn
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Registered On: January 19, 2019Topics: 64Replies: 1203Has thanked: 1960 timesBeen thanked: 4092 timesWow Liz,
I am so sorry you were treated that way by your dad .
II hate it that you lost your dad but under the circumstances it was for the best I guess.
I wish your dad would have opened his eyes and developed more patience and understanding.
You want to be mad at him but men are just ingrained to that’s the way we should behave.
Especially with older generations.
Your mom is an awesome mom for standing up for you, bless her heart.
Thank you so much for sharing your story .
I’m sure it was painful to do.
Hugs Patty
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Registered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 117Replies: 1348Has thanked: 1978 timesBeen thanked: 5801 timesWow! your mom is a real diamond.
You have come to the right place to talk about your troubled past. There is no abuse here, only understanding and compassion, and girls who wish to help you. Sharing and talking about these things is amazing therapy.
Welcome to the site.
Stephanie P xx
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Brave ,brave Liz, as Bridgette has just said many of us have skeletons in the Cupboard. The first 10 to 12 years of my life was dreadful, but like mine i suspect some of your skeletons are putting their jackets on and heading down to the abyss forever more. Pyxx.
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Registered On:Topics: 19Replies: 701Has thanked: 8063 timesBeen thanked: 3828 timesDear Liz,
Thank you for sharing and I am glad that you have seen a therapist and put this behind you. But do take care of yourself, like you said flashbacks can get triggered.
I had a rough childhood that shaped my self concept and behavior for almost 60 years. I have been in therapy for about 20 years. This was the year for me to finally find my true self. I was a long journey but well worth it.
Hugs to you and all the other girls here!
Kay
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Registered On: July 26, 2020Topics: 50Replies: 1386Has thanked: 6519 timesBeen thanked: 7766 timesWow Liz
Such turmoil in a very young life, gosh, your mother was / is such a strong person, and what a blessing she did what she did before your father took even more severe steps!!!
and by the strength of your mother’s feelings towards you, and the actions she was taking, looks to me like you were actually the little girl she always wanted??..
The fact that all of this happened so early on your life, has surely made you a stronger person….. best wishes, grace xx
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Registered On: December 24, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 33Has thanked: 41 timesBeen thanked: 162 timesIt took a lot of courage to share your story, Liz. I’ve never been through an experience like that. I pray that you can find whatever peace or healing you seek. Know that you have friends here to help you.
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Registered On: October 7, 2018Topics: 24Replies: 183Has thanked: 483 timesBeen thanked: 882 timesMy grand mother was A good mother with two boys, she spent time with her boys doing all the things boys enjoy from their moms. Their dad was A stern business man that spent little time with the boys. Their mom Died when my dad and uncle were teen agers leaving them motherless for about two years, their dad remarried to A much younger woman that was nothing like their mother she smoked and drank and had no use for the boys but she was A flamboyant dresser and that was where the trouble started. My dad and his brother started to wear their stepmothers clothes when they were away, one Saturday they went out for the day and the boys dressed in stepmoms clothes, My dad was downstairs in the living room completely dressed while his brother was upstairs still trying on some dresses, when his father and stepmom walked in, seeing my dad in her clothes they went ballistic. His stepmom was slapping and swearing at him as well as his father, his brother quickly changed clothes than rushed down to find his brother bloody and Beaton and crying while his stepmom was still screaming at him. his father started yelling at his brother for not watching his pervert brother. My dad’s parents never forgave him and he was treated so badly he finely left home and joined the navy while his brother stuck it out and stayed with his dad, A few years later his stepmom was drinking and was killed in a car crash his dad went from bad to worse and died after A long illness leaving everything to my uncle. My dad didn’t go to his funeral do to the way he was treated but his brother shared the inheritance with my family and tried to makeup for all the pain dad suffered. My dad finely went back to crossdressing when he married as well as his brother but they were very quiet about it. I started dressing at fifteen with the help of my sister at that time I was told about my dad and uncle, mom and dad told me they would never treat me the way dad was treated so I grew up crossdressing with no shame or guilt and I have had a happy life all eighty years of it.
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Good for your Mom, Liz! I know you had to put up with too many years of abuse before that happened, but she showed significant strength to do that!
And I applaud your ability to open up. That’s what makes this community so special. I think it fosters and nurtures and allows us to say things about ourselves that maybe we’ve never said before to another human.
Here’s hoping that opening up is what can lead you forward and put some of those despicable memories behind you.
tara
I have put them behind me
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Registered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 17Replies: 1694Has thanked: 2998 timesBeen thanked: 5663 timesGrowing up in a broken home is a tough load for a kid to handle, Liz. I’m convinced that it warps everyone who has o endure it; yet, most of us manage to survive. (My family split when I was 6; I went with my dad and was largely neglected).
Bettylou7 users thanked author for this post.
Registered On: December 12, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 61Has thanked: 633 timesBeen thanked: 313 timesGood for your Mom, Liz! I know you had to put up with too many years of abuse before that happened, but she showed significant strength to do that!
And I applaud your ability to open up. That’s what makes this community so special. I think it fosters and nurtures and allows us to say things about ourselves that maybe we’ve never said before to another human.
Here’s hoping that opening up is what can lead you forward and put some of those despicable memories behind you.
tara
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A year later at age 13,was diagnosed with PTSD from the abuse from my dad.Therapist was a great help that I saw.Did have a flashback 2 years ago.
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Registered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 217Has thanked: 4251 timesBeen thanked: 1000 timesBless you Liz, and so thankful for your mom. That’s so wonderful that she stood up for you. Many of us have skeletons in the closet, or monsters under our beds, and it takes courage to step up and talk about them, which is a big step towards defeating them. I’ve got one or two myself, but I won’t hijack your thread with them. I respect you for bringing yours into the light of day where it’ll become weaker, and start to fade.
Bridgette vS
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