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  • #424793
    Liz Craig
    Participant
    Registered On: December 29, 2020
    Topics: 9
    Replies: 28
    Has thanked: 4 times
    Been thanked: 269 times

    There is a part of my life I don’t talk about a lot,the abuse my dad put me through.It was horrible and treated me like a piece of garbage,didn’t have a good relationship with him at all.Growing up,he wanted me to grow up like any normal little boy,rough and tough which this wasn’t me at all.At age 5 or 6,knew I was transgender in a way and mom suspected I was this way.I remember at 8 years old,came in sitting on on the couch crossing my legs and my dad hated it.He went over grabbing my legs uncrossing them calling me the F word a gay man is called.My mom heard and went off my dad on this.I went in my room upset with the door closed,mom saw me do this.She knocked on the door and let her in.Comforted me and said that was not me at all.Dad did have a little effort to apologize to me about,it was not good enough.Then it was with me looking through a women’s clothing catalog my mom got in the mail.Dad caught me looking through it and took it away from me throwing it in the garbage can.Called me a freak.Left and told mom what he did,she wasn’t too happy what he did to me.She was real angry this time and told him quit controlling my life letting me be me.Last straw,was him finding out I tried on a pair of pantyhose my mom gave me two days later at age 12.Mom stepped in telling him she had enough of the abuse he was putting me through.She went into the kitchen grabbing a garbage bag putting in his clean clothes she got out of the dryer in there and tied it up throwing it outside.Told him get his no good butt out of her house now.My eyes lit up when she did this,she stood up for me and still proud of her for this to this day.Decided to chose me over him.I was not there when he got the rest of his stuff the next and and never seen him after that.I felt so glad he was gone I could be me finally.

Viewing 15 reply threads
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    • #425172
      Liz Craig
      Lady
      Registered On: December 29, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 4 times
      Been thanked: 269 times

      Liz thank you for sharing your story with us, that must have been absolute hell for you.

      What a fantastic mum you have, well done you for talking about it.

      Love and Best Wishes

      Sarah xx

      It was hell he put me through

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #425169
      Sarah Du Hessisse
      Lady
      Registered On: September 16, 2020
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 175
      Has thanked: 813 times
      Been thanked: 701 times

      Liz thank you for sharing your story with us, that must have been absolute hell for you.

      What a fantastic mum you have, well done you for talking about it.

      Love and Best Wishes

      Sarah xx

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #425052
      Liz Craig
      Lady
      Registered On: December 29, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 4 times
      Been thanked: 269 times

      Thank you for sharing your story Liz. I grew up with an abusive father also. In my experience, the first step in healing from that abuse is to talk about it with people that you trust.

      – Robyn

      I trusted my mom and this therapist.My dad told the abuse he put me was his love from him,it was not which it was hatred.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #424941
      Robyn Drake
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 19, 2019
      Topics: 49
      Replies: 111
      Has thanked: 96 times
      Been thanked: 388 times

      Thank you for sharing your story Liz. I grew up with an abusive father also. In my experience, the first step in healing from that abuse is to talk about it with people that you trust.

      – Robyn

    • #424930
      patty williams
      Lady
      Registered On: January 19, 2019
      Topics: 64
      Replies: 1203
      Has thanked: 1960 times
      Been thanked: 4092 times

      Wow Liz,

      I am so sorry you were treated that way by your dad .

      II hate it that you lost your dad but under the circumstances it was for the best I guess.

      I wish your dad would have opened his eyes and developed more patience and understanding.

      You want to be mad at him but men are just ingrained to that’s the way we should behave.

      Especially with older generations.

      Your mom is an awesome mom for standing up for you, bless her heart.

      Thank you so much for sharing your story .

      I’m sure it was painful to do.

      Hugs Patty

    • #424921
      stephanie plumb
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 17, 2018
      Topics: 117
      Replies: 1348
      Has thanked: 1978 times
      Been thanked: 5801 times

      Wow! your mom is a real diamond.

      You have come to the right place to talk about your troubled past. There is no abuse here, only understanding and compassion, and girls who wish to help you.  Sharing and talking about these things is amazing therapy.

      Welcome to the site.

      Stephanie P xx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #424909
      PY Marshall
      Duchess
      Registered On: July 21, 2018
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 279
      Has thanked: 1200 times
      Been thanked: 806 times

      Brave ,brave  Liz, as Bridgette has just said many of us have skeletons in the Cupboard. The first 10 to 12 years of my life was dreadful, but like mine i suspect some of your skeletons are putting their jackets on and heading down to the abyss forever more. Pyxx.

    • #424900
      Anonymous
      Registered On:
      Topics: 19
      Replies: 701
      Has thanked: 8063 times
      Been thanked: 3828 times

      Dear Liz,

      Thank you for sharing and I am glad that you have seen a therapist and put this behind you. But do take care of yourself, like you said flashbacks can get triggered.

      I had a rough childhood that shaped my self concept and behavior for almost 60 years. I have been in therapy for about 20 years. This was the year for me to finally find my true self. I was a long journey but well worth it.

      Hugs to you and all the other girls here!

      Kay

    • #424874
      Grace Scarlett
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 26, 2020
      Topics: 50
      Replies: 1386
      Has thanked: 6519 times
      Been thanked: 7766 times

      Wow Liz

      Such turmoil in a very young life, gosh, your mother was / is such a strong person, and what a blessing she did what she did before your father took even more severe steps!!!

      and by the strength of  your mother’s feelings towards you, and the actions she was taking, looks to me like you were actually the little girl she always wanted??..

      The fact that all of this happened so early on your life, has surely made you a stronger person….. best wishes, grace xx

       

    • #424839
      Stephanie Green
      Lady
      Registered On: December 24, 2020
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 33
      Has thanked: 41 times
      Been thanked: 162 times

      It took a lot of courage to share your story, Liz.  I’ve never been through an experience like that.  I pray that you can find whatever peace or healing you seek.  Know that you have friends here to help you.

    • #424836
      sarasue olson
      Lady
      Registered On: October 7, 2018
      Topics: 24
      Replies: 183
      Has thanked: 483 times
      Been thanked: 882 times

      My grand mother was A good mother with two boys, she spent time with her boys doing all the things boys enjoy from their moms. Their dad was A stern business man that spent little time with the boys.  Their mom Died when my dad and uncle were teen agers leaving them motherless for about two years, their dad remarried to A much younger woman that was nothing like their mother she smoked and drank and had no use for the boys but she was A flamboyant dresser and that was where the trouble started. My dad and his brother started to wear their stepmothers clothes when they were away, one Saturday they went out for the day and the boys dressed in stepmoms clothes, My dad was downstairs in the living room completely dressed while his brother was upstairs still trying on some dresses, when his father and stepmom walked in, seeing my dad in her clothes they went ballistic. His stepmom was slapping and swearing at him as well as his father, his brother quickly changed clothes than rushed  down to find his brother bloody and Beaton and crying while his stepmom was still screaming at him. his father started yelling at his brother for not watching his pervert brother. My dad’s parents never forgave him and he was treated so badly he finely left home and joined the navy while his brother stuck it out and stayed with his dad, A few years later his stepmom was drinking and was killed in a car crash his dad went from bad to worse and died after A long illness leaving everything to my  uncle.          My dad didn’t go to his funeral do to the way he was treated but his brother shared the inheritance with my family and tried to makeup for all the pain dad suffered. My dad finely went back to crossdressing when he married as well as his brother but they were very quiet about it. I started dressing at fifteen with the help of my sister at that time I was told about my dad and uncle, mom and dad told me they would never treat me the way dad was treated so I grew up crossdressing with no shame or guilt and I have had a happy life all eighty years of it.

    • #424820
      Liz Craig
      Lady
      Registered On: December 29, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 4 times
      Been thanked: 269 times

      Good for your Mom, Liz! I know you had to put up with too many years of abuse before that happened, but she showed significant strength to do that!

      And I applaud your ability to open up. That’s what makes this community so special. I think it fosters and nurtures and allows us to say things about ourselves that maybe we’ve never said before to another human.

      Here’s hoping that opening up is what can lead you forward and put some of those despicable memories behind you.

      tara

      I have put them behind me

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #424815
      Bettylou Cox
      Duchess
      Registered On: May 26, 2019
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 1694
      Has thanked: 2998 times
      Been thanked: 5663 times

      Growing up in a broken home is a tough load for a kid to handle, Liz. I’m convinced that it warps everyone who has o endure it; yet, most of us manage to survive. (My family split when I was 6; I went with my dad and was largely neglected).
      Bettylou

    • #424806
      Tara Jeane
      Lady
      Registered On: December 12, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 61
      Has thanked: 633 times
      Been thanked: 313 times

      Good for your Mom, Liz! I know you had to put up with too many years of abuse before that happened, but she showed significant strength to do that!

      And I applaud your ability to open up. That’s what makes this community so special. I think it fosters and nurtures and allows us to say things about ourselves that maybe we’ve never said before to another human.

      Here’s hoping that opening up is what can lead you forward and put some of those despicable memories behind you.

      tara

    • #424803
      Liz Craig
      Lady
      Registered On: December 29, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 4 times
      Been thanked: 269 times

      A year later at age 13,was diagnosed with PTSD from the abuse from my dad.Therapist was a great help that I saw.Did have a flashback 2 years ago.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #424798
      Bridgette VonSmirff
      Lady
      Registered On: October 18, 2020
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 217
      Has thanked: 4251 times
      Been thanked: 1000 times

      Bless you Liz, and so thankful for your mom. That’s so wonderful that she stood up for you. Many of us have skeletons in the closet, or monsters under our beds, and it takes courage to step up and talk about them, which is a big step towards defeating them. I’ve got one or two myself, but I won’t hijack your thread with them. I respect you for bringing yours into the light of day where it’ll become weaker, and start to fade.

      Bridgette vS

      7 users thanked author for this post.
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