• This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #20337
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      For oh so many years I felt as lonely as could be-
      The secret burden weighed me down and drove me to my knee.
      The female soul inside of me was screaming to come out
      But fear of your reactions filled my heart with so much doubt.

      If I revealed that inner girl who hid within the shell
      Trapped deep within the manly life-a special kind of Hell;
      I risked the loss of everyone who might not understand
      Why anyone would give up living as an ordinary man.

      They can’t imagine how it feels to be so out of place
      To act as though I didn’t care for beauty and for grace.
      The girl inside me cringed at times at jokes that she would hear
      From boys who laughed and ridiculed and say that she was queer.

      As years went by, I learned to hide all signs of who I was-
      I had to watch so carefully each action just because
      To show the female side of me in any little ways
      Could mean a life of solitude for my remaining days

      But recently, I came to feel that I could wait no more.
      I had to let the girl within to come into the fore.
      No longer would she be content to dwell within the night
      For she deserved to boldly step into the morning light.

      And so she started telling folks about her deepest soul
      And slowly oh slowly she was starting to feel whole.
      But there were those she feared would not accept this side of her
      And so she hesitated opening up to her sister.

      But then as fate would have it, you were able to find out
      And though my greatest fear had been that you would scream and shout,
      Instead you were accepting and embraced me with a kiss
      And let me know you didn’t mind your ‘bro’ was now your ‘sis’!

      Now whether I transition is a choice to still be made
      Or if I stay the way I am- a part time comely maid.
      No matter what I know that I won’t walk that pat alone.
      My sister will be there with me to make me feel at home.

      So thank you sis for loving me no matter who I am
      And calling me by name or by the pronoun sir or ma’am!
      I am so blessed to have you that my heart still swells with pride
      That you ignore the outer shell and love the one inside!

    • #21043

      Cyn.

      I am so happy for you, swelled up with tears realising you had told her about you!

       

      Cookie! 🙂

      • #21047
        skippy1965 Cynthia
        Ambassador

        Thanks JEssica! I am pleasantly surprised at he open acceptance. SO far I have been quite fortunate in he reactions of those I have told!

    • #21145
      Anonymous

      A beautiful poem Cyn. I just realised that I did not commented when I first read it.

      Having that acceptance makes it so much easier to move on in life. Best wishes to you both.

      🙂

      • #21202
        skippy1965 Cynthia
        Ambassador

        Thanks Jane ! I always appreciate comments especially from a prolific author such as yourself!

    • #84867
      Anonymous

      2016_poets corner: skippy1965(Cynthia) original post: 

      For oh so many years I felt as lonely as could be-

      The secret burden weighed me down and drove me to my knee.

      The female soul inside of me was screaming to come out

      But fear of your reactions filled my heart with so much doubt.

      If I revealed that inner girl who hid within the shell

      Trapped deep within the manly life-a special kind of Hell;

      I risked the loss of everyone who might not understand

      Why anyone would give up living as an ordinary man.

      They can’t imagine how it feels to be so out of place

      To act as though I didn’t care for beauty and for grace.

      The girl inside me cringed at times at jokes that she would hear

      From boys who laughed and ridiculed and say that she was queer.

      As years went by, I learned to hide all signs of who I was-

      I had to watch so carefully each action just because

      To show the female side of me in any little ways

      Could mean a life of solitude for my remaining days

      But recently, I came to feel that I could wait no more.

      I had to let the girl within to come into the fore.

      No longer would she be content to dwell within the night

      For she deserved to boldly step into the morning light.

      And so she started telling folks about her deepest soul

      And slowly oh slowly she was starting to feel whole.

      But there were those she feared would not accept this side of her

      And so she hesitated opening up to her sister.

      But then as fate would have it, you were able to find out

      And though my greatest fear had been that you would scream and shout,

      Instead you were accepting and embraced me with a kiss

      And let me know you didn’t mind your ‘bro’ was now your ‘sis’!

      Now whether I transition is a choice to still be made

      Or if I stay the way I am- a part time comely maid.

      No matter what I know that I won’t walk that pat alone.

      My sister will be there with me to make me feel at home.

      So thank you sis for loving me no matter who I am

      And calling me by name or by the pronoun sir or ma’am!

      I am so blessed to have you that my heart still swells with pride

      That you ignore the outer shell and love the one inside!

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