- January 3, 2022 at 7:18 am #603163Amy CatrelleParticipantRegistered On: January 2, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 44Has thanked: 175 timesBeen thanked: 263 times
This is only my second day here and I’m already glad that I’ve joined. Thankyou for the warm welcome.
I do have one concern though in regards to what I can talk about and share with you. I don’t mean the topics that are off limits, I wouldn’t be here if the site wasn’t moderated. I have no wish to engage in a free speech free-for-all, that’s why I quit FB.
The thing is, I spent a few hours before I joined looking at articles and forums in the public domain, which was a great help to me. My question is really aimed at those who post on a regular basis: how do you balance talking about some deeply personal issues without, in the long term, revealing too much about yourself to anyone with an internet connection? After all, a little detail here and there can add up to a profile. As I have every intention of posting some random musings of my own (sorry in advance!) I’d appreciate any advice. Amy x
Total of 24 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- January 4, 2022 at 5:04 am #603494Lacy SatinLadyRegistered On: June 27, 2018Topics: 4Replies: 277Has thanked: 222 timesBeen thanked: 1365 times
I think after writing a number of posts and or commenting on others posts it would not be hard for others here to learn all about what type of crossdresser you are. Unless you were fullish enough to post very personal information nobody is going to track you.
What you need to understand is, if you join any group on social media anything your into can become public knowledge and can be tracked back to you and your computer if someone had a real desire to find out what you’re into. FB is the worst place to create a profile and once you’ve done it, there’s no deleting it. I also think there may be a possibility for someone to connect your crossdressing profile with any other profiles you may have on FB. I don’t know but that’s why I no longer use FB even though the damage is done.
I personally have weighed all the probabilities of someone finding out I am a crossdresser and I just don’t care. This does not make me a bad person .It’s so far removed form people who are into things like child pornography or sadomasochism or other sick things. I just like wearing women’s clothes and enjoy feeling feminine. People may not relate to what I enjoy but that’s their problem not mine.
I’m not going to walk down the street and yell “Look at me I’m a crossdresser” although sometimes I feel like doing it, I’m just not going to worry about who might dig deep enough someday and put my online profiles together with who I am in real life. I’m not ashamed of my life as a crossdresser.
- January 4, 2022 at 6:41 am #603522Amy CatrelleLadyRegistered On: January 2, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 44Has thanked: 175 timesBeen thanked: 263 times
You’re right, of course. I was a bit nervous about being here at first as I have only recently become a crossdresser ( yeah, there were half a dozen times in the past but that didn’t make it official…) Anyway, I’ve taken heed of some good advice and am now having a great time here.
- January 3, 2022 at 9:58 pm #603445Emily AltDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: August 24, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 675Has thanked: 545 timesBeen thanked: 3234 times
Your concern is valid. It’s not very hard to build a profile of someone if they reveal enough useful clues.
My online identity is in no way connected to my legal identity. That’s perhaps the biggest step I’ve taken to keep creeps away. Don’t use your first or last name, or any variation of them. That alone will help a lot.
Other things you can do that are pretty much common sense. Don’t post your phone number and be VERY cautious about sharing it with anyone. Use an email address that can’t be connected to your legal identity or that reveals something about you. Don’t post where you live. Especially if you live in a small town. Don’t post specifics about your job, the people you work with, or professional organizations you’re a member of. I could go on but you get the idea.
I do take a little liberty with my location since I live in a very large metropolitan area. I think it’s safe for me to say I live in Southern California….with 18 million other souls.
As others have said, a common sense approach and a few simple precautions is all you need to stay safe. CDH is one of the safest sites you’ll find for girls like us. The mods are REALLY good at their jobs.
Happy New Year!
- January 3, 2022 at 12:51 pm #603322Cassie JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 39Replies: 750Has thanked: 1764 timesBeen thanked: 3620 times
Hi Amy. I am not the right person to be asking not revealing to much. If you were to make a note of many of my posts and then reading my profile, then with a little detective work, to find out my drab name would be easy.
BUT I am 67, the X has outed me to our 3 grown kids, and after she threatened to tell my 4 brothers I told them myself. OH and I cannot loose my job – we have had multiple talks on discrimination, which includes gender Identity.
So if someone out there wants to threaten me or blackmail me, go for it and good luck.
There is a lot of peace for me in my CD life, not having to worry SOOOO much when out. I only wish more of our lovely friends had a small part of this kind of freedom.
. . .Cassie
- January 3, 2022 at 11:48 am #603278MartiDuchessRegistered On: February 5, 2019Topics: 55Replies: 849Has thanked: 4219 timesBeen thanked: 4058 times
If in doubt, ask a moderator !
With respect to what you write, yes you are right, a dedicated sleuth could build a profile, and I understand your nervousness – I wasn’t much different when I first came here. But at some point even I gave up worrying about identity, and I’m a careful person. There is a certain necessity if you intend to be a part of cdh and share with other posters.
Essentially just feel comfortable in yourself. If you don’t want to post photos – don’t. It took me a while to do, and there are some established posters who still don’t. Otherwise, stay within the arms of cdh, and you’ll be fine.
And security wise, be just as you’ld be on other platforms. Be wary of passing out your email, and god forbid your phone number ! Those things are easier to do than undo. But that’s just my ‘healthy’ paranoia – I’m old and when I first got on the internet, it was all a bit wild west!
- January 3, 2022 at 11:53 am #603284
- January 3, 2022 at 10:04 am #603213Liara WolfeDuchessRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 990Has thanked: 1912 timesBeen thanked: 3816 times
I too was concerned over those issues. But it finally dawned on me that this is who I am, even if I am still in the closet. The first time I posted a picture of myself I was so scared, now I post them without a thought. It may be a blessing in disguise if I am found out and confronted about it.
Anyway Amy, know that you have tons of support here.
- January 3, 2022 at 9:46 am #603210ChloeCDuchessRegistered On: November 5, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 465Has thanked: 1584 timesBeen thanked: 2248 times
Very good question, Amy.
I’ve thought a lot about this over the years, how much do I want to reveal, how hard should I try to keep my hidden life as private as possible.
Well, I happen to be in a fortunate position. I’m retired and will (hopefully) never have to work again, so no potential workplace situations. My adult children and grandchildren all live (sort of sadly for me and my spouse) very long distances away so we hardly see them, but when we do, we’re very welcomed and appreciated. So if some situation arose where parts of my life might be discovered by them, I feel comfortable enough to have meaningful talks with them. Tho I suspect the ‘dont ask/dont tell’ dictum might go into effect.
Friends where we now live could be a problem, but here’s the thing, we have good friends that we see and get together with in a group very often from all sides of the political spectrum, and we all get along because…we don’t ask and don’t tell certain things.
There are few benefits of being an old **** (you all know the word), but starting to free oneself from the chains of propriety and rigid expectations can be one of them.
- January 3, 2022 at 8:22 am #603179Jane PlainLadyRegistered On: January 14, 2021Topics: 5Replies: 34Has thanked: 129 timesBeen thanked: 228 times
Hi Amy, you are correct, too much information can lead others to know who you are. Only you can moderate the information you put on here and, as you say, over time that information grows.
If you do want to remain anonymous then the less key personnel information the better. This can be your location (live, work), dob, job, marital status, children etc. There could be other information specific to you.
Finally the question is – how much do you care? There are girls here that are open about their dressing and couldn’t care who finds out, there are also girls at the other end of the spectrum.
Hope that helps.
Love Jane X.
- January 3, 2022 at 8:29 am #603182LadyRegistered On: January 2, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 44Has thanked: 175 timesBeen thanked: 263 times
I’m probably worrying about nothing. After all, if villagers with burning torches arrive at my home on a stormy night it would give me the chance to stand on the roof wearing a gothic gown shouting ‘I’M ALIVE!’.
Ok, now I’m overthinking it.
- January 3, 2022 at 8:57 am #603193
- January 3, 2022 at 8:11 am #603175СамантаManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 21, 2018Topics: 573Replies: 1791Has thanked: 8582 timesBeen thanked: 7471 times
This is part of why we encourage people to use a screen name…it helps to preserve privacy.
I’ve been a member here for four years. In that time, I’m sure I’ve shared plenty of info about myself. It hasn’t been a problem, that I’m aware of at least.
We do our best to chase trolls away so it’s a pretty safe site. I would say to use the same sort of sense about what info you divulge as anywhere online as per your own personal situation & you’ll be fine.
- January 3, 2022 at 7:51 am #603171AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
The question is often considered. The golden rule is no names of other people( confidentiality and legal )
No financial details whatever.
Billy Jay is the managing director and she will say to you that your should always exercise caution with
Personal information. Only private messages are kept within the membership, and private photos are only available in the membership. However, you cannot be absolutely certain that your information is locked away here. I would strongly urge you to be cautious because then you are in control. Nobody has the right to your personal details so you keep them at home.
I strongly recommend- Please do contact Billy Jay and she will explain. She has experience and anecdotal evidence to explain why it is best kept at home. I’m not The wisest owl here ( in fact some might say I’m a crow!!
Do hesitate -‘that way you still have control. Once it escapes it’s gone-‘you can’t claw it back.
Good question- you are becoming a safe pupil!!!
- January 3, 2022 at 7:43 am #603168
- January 3, 2022 at 7:40 am #603167Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 14Replies: 640Has thanked: 3722 timesBeen thanked: 3385 times
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