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  • #603163
    Amy Catrelle
    Participant
    Registered On: January 2, 2022
    Topics: 6
    Replies: 44
    Has thanked: 175 times
    Been thanked: 263 times

    Hello Everyone,

    This is only my second day here and I’m already glad that I’ve joined. Thankyou for the warm welcome.
    I do have one concern though in regards to what I can talk about and share with you. I don’t mean the topics that are off limits, I wouldn’t be here if the site wasn’t moderated. I have no wish to engage in a free speech free-for-all, that’s why I quit FB.
    The thing is, I spent a few hours before I joined looking at articles and forums in the public domain, which was a great help to me. My question is really aimed at those who post on a regular basis: how do you balance talking about some deeply personal issues without, in the long term, revealing too much about yourself to anyone with an internet connection? After all, a little detail here and there can add up to a profile. As I have every intention of posting some random musings of my own (sorry in advance!) I’d appreciate any advice. Amy x

Viewing 12 reply threads
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    Replies
    • #603494
      Lacy Satin
      Lady
      Registered On: June 27, 2018
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 277
      Has thanked: 222 times
      Been thanked: 1365 times

      I think after writing a number of posts and or commenting on others posts it would not be hard for others here to learn all about what type of crossdresser you are. Unless you were fullish enough to post very personal information nobody is going to track you.

      What you need to understand is, if you join any group on social media anything your into can become public knowledge and can be tracked back to you and your computer if someone had a real desire to find out what you’re into.  FB is the worst place to create a profile and once you’ve done it, there’s no deleting it. I also think there may be a possibility for someone to connect your crossdressing profile with any other profiles you may have on FB. I don’t know but that’s why I no longer use FB even though the damage is done.

      I personally have weighed all the probabilities of someone finding out I am a crossdresser and I just don’t care. This does not make me a bad person .It’s so far removed form people who are into things like child pornography or sadomasochism or other sick things. I just like wearing women’s clothes and enjoy feeling feminine. People may not relate to what I enjoy but that’s their problem not mine.

      I’m not going to walk down the street and yell “Look at me I’m a crossdresser” although sometimes I feel like doing it, I’m just not going to worry about who might dig deep enough someday and put my online profiles together with who I am in real life.  I’m not ashamed of my life as a crossdresser.

      • #603522
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        You’re right, of course. I was a bit nervous about being here at first as I have only recently become a crossdresser ( yeah, there were half a dozen times in the past but that didn’t make it official…) Anyway, I’ve taken heed of some good advice and am now having a great time here.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603445
      Emily Alt
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 675
      Has thanked: 545 times
      Been thanked: 3234 times

      Hi Amy,

      Your concern is valid. It’s not very hard to build a profile of someone if they reveal enough useful clues.

      My online identity is in no way connected to my legal identity. That’s perhaps the biggest step I’ve taken to keep creeps away. Don’t use your first or last name, or any variation of them. That alone will help a lot.

      Other things you can do that are pretty much common sense. Don’t post your phone number and be VERY cautious about sharing it with anyone. Use an email address that can’t be connected to your legal identity or that reveals something about you. Don’t post where you live. Especially if you live in a small town. Don’t post specifics about your job, the people you work with, or professional organizations you’re a member of. I could go on but you get the idea.

      I do take a little liberty with my location since I live in a very large metropolitan area. I think it’s safe for me to say I live in Southern California….with 18 million other souls.

      As others have said, a common sense approach and a few simple precautions is all you need to stay safe. CDH is one of the safest sites you’ll find for girls like us. The mods are REALLY good at their jobs.

      Happy New Year!
      Emily

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #603518
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        Thanks Emily, I’m really grateful for the replies to this post. I’m glad to be here. Amy x

    • #603322
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 29, 2019
      Topics: 39
      Replies: 750
      Has thanked: 1764 times
      Been thanked: 3620 times

      Hi Amy. I am not the right person to be asking not revealing to much. If you were to make a note of many of my posts and then reading my profile, then with a little detective work, to find out my drab name would be easy.
      BUT I am 67, the X has outed me to our 3 grown kids, and after she threatened to tell my 4 brothers I told them myself. OH and I cannot loose my job – we have had multiple talks on discrimination, which includes gender Identity.
      So if someone out there wants to threaten me or blackmail me, go for it and good luck.
      There is a lot of peace for me in my CD life, not having to worry SOOOO much when out. I only wish more of our lovely friends had a small part of this kind of freedom.
      . . .Cassie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603278
      Marti
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 55
      Replies: 849
      Has thanked: 4219 times
      Been thanked: 4058 times

      Hi Amy,

      If in doubt, ask a moderator !

      With respect to what you write, yes you are right, a dedicated sleuth could build a profile, and I understand your nervousness – I wasn’t much different when I first came here. But at some point even I gave up worrying about identity, and I’m a careful person. There is a certain necessity if you intend to be a part of cdh and share with other posters.

      Essentially just feel comfortable in yourself. If you don’t want to post photos – don’t. It took me a while to do, and there are some established posters who still don’t. Otherwise, stay within the arms of cdh, and you’ll be fine.

      And security wise, be just as you’ld be on other platforms. Be wary of passing out your email, and god forbid your phone number ! Those things are easier to do than undo. But that’s just my ‘healthy’ paranoia – I’m old and when I first got on the internet, it was all a bit wild west!

      Marti xxx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #603284
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        That’s good advice, thankyou.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #603213
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 990
      Has thanked: 1912 times
      Been thanked: 3816 times

      Amy,

      I too was concerned over those issues. But it finally dawned on me that this is who I am, even if I am still in the closet. The first time I posted a picture of myself I was so scared, now I post them without a thought. It may be a blessing in disguise if I am found out and confronted about it.

      Anyway Amy, know that you have tons of support here.

      Hugs, Liara

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603210
      ChloeC
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 5, 2019
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 465
      Has thanked: 1584 times
      Been thanked: 2248 times

      Very good question, Amy.

      I’ve thought a lot about this over the years, how much do I want to reveal, how hard should I try to keep my hidden life as private as possible.

      Well, I happen to be in a fortunate position.  I’m retired and will (hopefully) never have to work again, so no potential workplace situations.  My adult children and grandchildren all live (sort of sadly for me and my spouse) very long distances away so we hardly see them, but when we do, we’re very welcomed and appreciated. So if some situation arose where parts of my life might be discovered by them, I feel comfortable enough to have meaningful talks with them.  Tho I suspect the ‘dont ask/dont tell’ dictum might go into effect.

      Friends where we now live could be a problem, but here’s the thing, we have good friends that we see and get together with in a group very often from all sides of the political spectrum, and we all get along because…we don’t ask and don’t tell certain things.

      There are few benefits of being an old **** (you all know the word), but starting to free oneself from the chains of propriety and rigid expectations can be one of them.

      Hugs, ChloeC

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603179
      Jane Plain
      Lady
      Registered On: January 14, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 34
      Has thanked: 129 times
      Been thanked: 228 times

      Hi Amy, you are correct, too much information can lead others to know who you are. Only you can moderate the information you put on here and, as you say, over time that information grows.

      If you do want to remain anonymous then the less key personnel information the better. This can be your location (live, work), dob, job, marital status, children etc. There could be other information specific to you.

      Finally the question is – how much do you care? There are girls here that are open about their dressing and couldn’t care who finds out, there are also girls at the other end of the spectrum.

      Hope that helps.

      Love Jane X.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #603182
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        I’m probably worrying about nothing. After all, if villagers with burning torches arrive at my home on a stormy night it would give me the chance to stand on the roof wearing a gothic gown shouting ‘I’M ALIVE!’.
        Ok, now I’m overthinking it.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603175
      Саманта
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: January 21, 2018
      Topics: 573
      Replies: 1791
      Has thanked: 8582 times
      Been thanked: 7471 times

      Hi Amy,
      This is part of why we encourage people to use a screen name…it helps to preserve privacy.
      I’ve been a member here for four years. In that time, I’m sure I’ve shared plenty of info about myself. It hasn’t been a problem, that I’m aware of at least.
      We do our best to chase trolls away so it’s a pretty safe site. I would say to use the same sort of sense about what info you divulge as anywhere online as per your own personal situation & you’ll be fine.

      • #603178
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        Good to know, thankyou.

    • #603171
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
      Has thanked: 0 times
      Been thanked: 0 times

      The question is often considered. The golden rule is no names of other people( confidentiality and legal )
      No financial details whatever.
      Billy Jay is the managing director and she will say to you that your should always exercise caution with
      Personal information. Only private messages are kept within the membership, and private photos are only available in the membership. However, you cannot be absolutely certain that your information is locked away here. I would strongly urge you to be cautious because then you are in control. Nobody has the right to your personal details so you keep them at home.
      I strongly recommend- Please do contact Billy Jay and she will explain. She has experience and anecdotal evidence to explain why it is best kept at home. I’m not The wisest owl here ( in fact some might say I’m a crow!!
      Do hesitate -‘that way you still have control. Once it escapes it’s gone-‘you can’t claw it back.
      Good question- you are becoming a safe pupil!!!
      Anya C

      3 users thanked author for this post.
      • #603177
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        Thankyou very much, Anya. I’ll tread carefully (especially when I get my first pair of heels…) x

    • #603168
      Haley Ann
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 12, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 223 times
      Been thanked: 1098 times

      Welcome sweetie! You will definitely find something here that will help you navigate your own personal journey.

      Haley

      1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #603167
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 14
      Replies: 640
      Has thanked: 3722 times
      Been thanked: 3385 times

      LOL!!’ What Lynda just said!

      I was about to type my very eloquent response when I see Ms Jones not only beat me to it, but also unabashedly kicked the door down too!

      I’ve come to the right place!

      Barb 🙂

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #603166
      Haley Ann
      Duchess
      Registered On: October 12, 2020
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 230
      Has thanked: 223 times
      Been thanked: 1098 times

      Talk about what strikes you, just keep the fun stuff private!

      Haley

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #603174
        Amy Catrelle
        Lady
        Registered On: January 2, 2022
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 44
        Has thanked: 175 times
        Been thanked: 263 times

        Story of my life.

    • #603164
      Lynda Jones
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: September 1, 2021
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 70
      Has thanked: 342 times
      Been thanked: 277 times

      Amy,
      At this point in time in my life I don’t give a Da#m, wife knows so the rest can take a flying leap.
      Lynda

      4 users thanked author for this post.
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