- September 14, 2020 at 5:17 am #383654stephanie plumbParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 88Replies: 776Has thanked: 878 timesBeen thanked: 2627 times
So, it’s Sunday morning and I am out on the heath with my dog.
It’s early and quite cool so I am wearing my ash blonde bob wig, a black hoody over my horizontally striped blue and white T-shirt, a denim mini-skirt, and my lovely girly pink trainers.
I am standing , waiting to cross, at the junction of several paths near an entry point onto the heath from the minor road that cuts across it. It’s about 09:00 and the world has got started – joggers and cyclists are exploding from their homes and heading out into the country to take advantage of a nice sunny morning. There are cycling helmets and lycra all around.
Suddenly a man on a distinctive orange bike comes off the road , onto the heath, and passes by about 10 feet from where I am standing.
OMG! It’s Keith, my next door neighbour but one!
He doesn’t fall off his bike. Or wobble, or brake, or look back at me.
So he … probably…. didn’t recognise me. Why should he? I don’t look much like his neighbour after all. I like to think I am hiding in plain sight. And of course he was busy managing his bike.
But it was a bit discomforting, but not totally unexpected, as I am only 3 miles from home. Perhaps I have become too careless, too emboldened by my new-found confidence.
Still, I thought, if he made me, so what? There’s nothing I can do about it. And .. I don’t really care.
Wow… that’s so unlike me, the girl who lived in total fear of discovery. Is this what confidence does?
It will be interesting to see his reaction when next we meet outside our houses. There is a little part of me that hopes I will get a wink …….
And that is a scary , but exciting, thought.
Total of 39 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- September 17, 2020 at 7:41 am #384558Cherry BerryParticipantRegistered On: June 30, 2020Topics: 1Replies: 14Has thanked: 24 timesBeen thanked: 60 times
- September 16, 2020 at 9:52 am #384285Fiona SimpsonParticipantRegistered On: January 10, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 49Has thanked: 107 timesBeen thanked: 88 times
Just a thought Stephanie….. He may not have recognised you, but what about the dog? If it’s distinctive he may have noticed it. Cyclists tend to be wary of dogs, I know I am.
- September 17, 2020 at 4:53 am #384514stephanie plumbParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 88Replies: 776Has thanked: 878 timesBeen thanked: 2627 times
Yeah. I realise that my dog is both a blessing in that she gives me legitimacy for being where I am, can be a distraction, and gives me valid reasons for keeping my distance if I so choose; but could also be my undoing if she is recognised and so draws attention to me.
Fortunately though she is a common breed around these parts. I also think that she diverts attention away from me for the very reason you mentioned. Same thing applies to joggers. I now completely disregard both joggers and cyclists as they are more preoccupied with what they are doing (including keeping an eye on the dog!) and don’t have much time to study every girl they pass by.
- September 15, 2020 at 7:46 am #384012EmilyParticipantRegistered On: April 30, 2016Topics: 13Replies: 433Has thanked: 2216 timesBeen thanked: 1094 times
Definitely the age old quandary. Am I afraid to be caught, or do I want to be seen? As my confidence builds and I go out more often, wanting to be seen is taking over. That being said, I try to be very discreet in my neighborhood. My wife is not in the least supportive of my need to be Emily, and would be mortified if the neighbors were to see me and recognize me. So, compromises must be made. Being retired and having the option to dress and sit on the front porch during the day when most people are at work helps. Now, the neighbor who often comes home from lunch, well I have to keep a close eye out for him. 👩🏼🦰
- September 15, 2020 at 5:17 am #383962patty williamsParticipantRegistered On: January 19, 2019Topics: 62Replies: 1135Has thanked: 1755 timesBeen thanked: 3685 times
Hi Stephanie ,
being outed comes with mixed emotions to me .
I was almost outed once and may have been as someone my wife Knows spotted the fact I was driving her old car she thought so she mentioned it to my wife the next time she saw my wife.
My wife played it off as it wasn’t our car.
This person knows everybody I know.
I had mixed emotions about that.
Part of me was scared to death my life would be ruined.
However part of me was like I dont Care I am tired of hiding.
If they dont like who I am just leave me alone.
The more I do this and see the wonderful friends that do live their lives on their terms I just want to do the same thing.
The only things that hold me back are my job ,my wife and daughters and grandkids and my best friend.
Most very body else on this planet can deal with patty on her terms.
Sometimes I feel like a coward.
- September 15, 2020 at 5:31 am #383970Amanda BurtonParticipantRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 244Has thanked: 2706 timesBeen thanked: 876 times
Patty, one thing you are not is a coward, coming out requires a tremendous amount consideration of many factors and many circumstances to different individuals.
When your time is right you will know and you will be able to handle this transition in your life. But only at your pace and your discretion sweetie.
We all support you and wish you well.
- September 15, 2020 at 4:19 am #383950Simone CParticipantRegistered On: January 23, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 113Has thanked: 50 timesBeen thanked: 333 times
“I have noticed that cyclists and joggers are usually so intent on their exercise that they don’t pay me any attention at all.”
Which celeb was it that said “The only thing worse than being recognised in public as a celeb is NOT being recognised in public as a celebrity!” I know occasionally when I’m out I think “I went to all this trouble, make-up, fashions, forms…and no-one notices!”
Life’s a bitch sometimes 🙂
- September 16, 2020 at 2:51 am #384225ParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 88Replies: 776Has thanked: 878 timesBeen thanked: 2627 times
Your celebrity quote is paraphrasing Oscar Wilde I think. I use this – meme? is it? quite a lot. For example “There’s only one thing worse than being a CD, and that’s NOT being a CD.” You can substitute any words in there you like . It can be quite amusing such as “wearing panties.”
Stephanie doesn’t look anything like her alter ego, at least from a few yards away, as long as she makes sure her body language is feminine. Anyone I know is not expecting to see a female version of me. So i count on the fact that I am hopefully hiding in plain sight. Time will tell…….
- September 15, 2020 at 3:32 am #383944Patty PhoseParticipantRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1359Has thanked: 953 timesBeen thanked: 3170 times
I had gone out dressed several times. A few times I noticed people I knew off in the distance. I kept the distance hoping they wouldn’t recognize me.
Then one time I was fully dressed in shiny tan pantyhose, stiletto heels, a short dark blue, glittery dress, with my bra and breastforms and a shoulder length blonde wig. I wanted to go out in this outfit so bad. I drove around a bit, got out in a few places, and on my way home decided to stop at an ATM. After being out a while, my fear would subside, my excitement would grow and my confidence would go up. Now was a good time to do the ATM.
I parked the car in a parking spot across from the ATM. I would have to walk across the parking lot which would permit me to be seen. I was always excited about that and one of the main reasons I love doing that.
I got out of the car, really showing off my legs in my shiny tan pantyhose as the sunlight hit them and my dress got hiked up quite high as I was getting out of the car. I stood up, looked around to assess whether I thought it was safe to continue, then reached in the car, got my purse, closed the door, walked across the parking lot, noticing some looks my way. I went to the ATM, did my transaction, put the money in my purse and turned to leave.
Standing right behind me was someone I know quite well. My first reaction was to greet him. Immediately following thought was “oh s**t”. this is bad. I just walked past him, acting as naturally as I could but I was nervous and shaking a little. I was busted. My only hope was the he didn’t recognize me. I know he noticed me.
A couple of weeks later we got together. I was waiting for a little talk. Nothing happened. Things were the same as they had always been. After a few more get togethers, I surmised he noticed me but didn’t recognize me.
- September 15, 2020 at 1:48 am #383920Simone CParticipantRegistered On: January 23, 2019Topics: 6Replies: 113Has thanked: 50 timesBeen thanked: 333 times
Ha ha, though watch out for your dog, a neighbour probably knows the dog and the dog knows him! Wait until your dog runs up to say “hi” to your neighbour and you really have to intervene.
Sounds like it all went well, and at that time of the morning most people are focused on coffee!
Bet it was a thrill,
- September 15, 2020 at 2:03 am #383922ParticipantRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 88Replies: 776Has thanked: 878 timesBeen thanked: 2627 times
You are right. I have always been conscious that my dog might give me away. She wears a distinctive red harness which is another give away. I have thought about getting a different one.
On the plus side she is a Cockapoo of a common colour, and they are one of the most popular dogs around here – I see loads every time I go out. and she does give me a valid reason for being out here in the morning. Hiding in plain sight.
I have noticed that cyclists and joggers are usually so intent on their exercise that they don’t pay me any attention at all.
- September 14, 2020 at 4:14 pm #383833Mary Ann SummersParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 94Has thanked: 249 timesBeen thanked: 657 times
people won’t be looking for your male self dressed en femme. So they really won’t notice you as you in drab. Now, your vehicle… that is another matter. But that story is for another post.
I handed a dropped item to my sister in law in line behind me when I was en femme at a store and she did’t bat an eye. I just don’t think people are looking for us as much as we think they are. We are VERY self conscious when we start going out dressed. Every one else is just absorbed in their lives and their business.
Hugs, Mary Ann
- September 14, 2020 at 10:43 am #383738Grace ScarlettParticipantRegistered On: July 26, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 329Has thanked: 1908 timesBeen thanked: 1551 times
Hello Stephanie…I think the biggest fear a lot of us have is being recognised by someone we actually know, be it neighbour, work colleague or friend. That is until we are actually ready to ” come out’ to the world. Your confidence is obviously sky high….I personally think your attitude was wonderful…no panic, just a ” so what” and thinking about the next time…getting there girl!!….huggs Grace xx
- September 14, 2020 at 10:41 am #383737Paula FParticipantRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 11Replies: 589Has thanked: 1003 timesBeen thanked: 2036 times
Stephanie, Congratulations on being so far from your home from just walking. Early morning walks are my favorite when I can be dressed and out the door early enough before the neighborhood starts to come alive, which isn’t often.
I would say that ‘Yes’, your neighbor saw you. Did the sight register on his guy brain? The sight of a maybe familiar woman probably did, but who exactly she was probably did not. If he is a consistent bike rider, it didn’t take much of his conscious effort to ride by you so he could take in more of his surroundings. But, if he was only average in his abilities, or even not so steady, the transition from smooth road to bumpy path grabbed his conscious thought to keep upright and not look like a fool in front of a pretty woman, known or unknown.
I would think that if he doesn’t say anything within a couple of days, or it doesn’t become habitual seeing you at that spot often, he probably didn’t ‘read’ you as you. Keep up the adventures, good luck and enjoy the outdoor time before it becomes too cold to do so. Hold your head up girl and enjoy it all.
- September 14, 2020 at 9:57 am #383714Bettylou CoxParticipantRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 16Replies: 1434Has thanked: 2342 timesBeen thanked: 4267 times
If you go out Dressed anywhere near to where you live, you will eventually cross paths with someone who knows you. I had to face that truth when Bettylou began shopping at our local supermarket; but I do have confidence in my femme appearance, and I’m not at all sure I really care whether I am outed. Were it not for the restrictions put on me by my wife, I would cheerfully admit to being a CD
Can you be harmed by being discovered? Is there anything “bad” about being a CD? If you can answer “no” to both questions, then don’t worry about it; relax and enjoy the ride.
- September 14, 2020 at 9:53 am #383713Mikayla WelshParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2020Topics: 4Replies: 51Has thanked: 346 timesBeen thanked: 195 times
as Misty Lynn so aptly put it, IT is our quandary… confidence is a wonderful thing as we accept ourselves as the individuals we are… but, I always have this little nagging fear in the back of my head… acceptance. it is a quandary for many of us, but it seems that you, Ms. Stephanie, have found the confidence that will allow you to defeat that nagging fear.
- September 14, 2020 at 9:02 am #383706ParticipantRegistered On: January 15, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 244Has thanked: 2706 timesBeen thanked: 876 times
Well Stephanie the more confident you become the likely you will be recognized eventually by some body that knows you, and often in the place you least expect to meet them.
If he says anything to you, just be cool and be honest, and say yep it was me, you don’t have a problem with me do you?.
If it’s out, it’s out Stephanie, not many people keep it a secret.
Wish you well. Lol Amanda X
- September 14, 2020 at 7:42 am #383680Tabitha TeeParticipantRegistered On: July 30, 2020Topics: 6Replies: 251Has thanked: 1028 timesBeen thanked: 788 times
- September 14, 2020 at 6:55 am #383669Misty LynnParticipantRegistered On: September 10, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 1Has thanked: 26 timesBeen thanked: 55 times
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