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Myself, I’m genderfuid, so there are times I don’t feel feminine, and I have no interest in dressing en femme, even when I have the perfect opportunity. When I’m feeling this way, often I ignore CDH. That’s funny, because today I feel very much in guy mode, but here I am on CDH. Sometimes it gets muddled up. As a life coach, I know my most powerful tool is acceptance, even when I’m unclear what I’m accepting. Accept the mystery.
This is all relatively new for me because I’ve only stepped into my feminine experience in the past year or so. Up until then (my whole life), my dressing was limited to a few minutes at a time, and primarily focused on the erotic aspect of expressing my feminine.
Now as I explore the full range of feelings when I’m feminine, I get to practice acceptance of this person and persona. I know that I’ll be able to stand tall with those I want to tell about my true nature only when I can be fully accepting of me as I am in the feminine mode.
I also get to accept who I am when I am NOT Lorie. Or who I am when I feel that mashup person who wants a bit of everything to express. The indecisive person who isn’t sure, the person who doesn’t want to choose to come down on one side or the other.
Acceptance. What do you find about yourself that you want to accept? Or am I the only one who feels a bit confused at times?
Hi Lorie.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Acceptance has been difficult for me but I agree acceptance of ones self; however different that may be or however much you personally may not want it to be is critical to living as gender_________ fill in the blank.
For me it is gender broken. For others here that term may not work but it does for me; i.e. this concept has enabled me to accept myself as I am.
The other major challenge for me is balance. When my dysphoria is quiet I am fine in daily life. When my dysphoria rages I understand that I must attend to my femme self, but usually life is too full of my male responsibilities to allow the femme me all the time I crave (which because of particular circumstance is most often no time)
So then you may ask, “where is the balance? How do you balance if you can’t express as your female self?”
For me that’s where CDH comes in. Here I can come and be with other girls (albeit virtually) and around them feel like the woman I am, share the deep secrets of my female self that can not be shared anywhere or with any else. Here I think like I believe a woman would think, can enjoy discussion women would enjoy.
Is that enough? Well, not as much as I’d like, but at least at this point in my life it provides the ballast I need to stay even keel.
Blessings,
Charrie
As we grow and learn we worry so much about others accepting us, but in the end when we find comfort and peace within ourselves and accept who we are then others opinions and acceptance is neither needed or required. They simply accept us for ourselves or we choose to not associate with them. The true struggle is realizing who and what we are… tg, cd, gender fluid, ts, ugly man thing or any of many other categories that mean nothing outside of others placing us in an assigned box. It has taken me not quite 1/2 century to be me and not base my value or description on others opinions of me. I am happier and more free now than ever before because I KNOW who and what I am and want to be, and for the record it doesn’t change me if I am in a dress and heels or BDU’s and combat boots, I am me! Sorry this became a diatribe of personal discovery however it was the only way I felt comfortable being honest responding to the original post.
🍷C
Hi Lorie! Thanks for sharing. I feel we are on similar paths. I have the same duality. It can definitely be confusing I often question and even doubts but I always seem to come back that my feminine and masculine side are both part of me and denying one would be like only using one arm for the rest of my life. It would make no sense.
Truth is I can accept all of this no problem. I just want the entire world to as a well. I guess I am just impatient?
I just accept it. I’m a Libra so duality is the true definition.
😉
Shawnna, That’s an interesting understanding of Libra. I recently remembered that I’m a 9 on the Enneagram scale, which is someone who easily can go either way in life, and easily influenced. I’m considering reaching out to an Enneagram expert to get a better understanding of that part of this adventure. It doesn’t change what I’m experiencing, but maybe understand it a little better.
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