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    • #681361
      Michelle
      Lady
      Registered On: April 18, 2022
      Topics: 8
      Replies: 76
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      I’ve heard the same thing in the past. You have to understand that her husband is wanting to dress like and act like a woman in public. This is hard for any woman accepting or not. I truly believe that no one will ever 100% accept what we do. All we can hope for is they tolerate it. Ask yourself how hard would it be for you if your wife wanted to walk around dressed like and act like a man. I’m sure it would be an interesting adjustment for you as well. Be happy she has given you the acceptance she has. Some wives call it quits and embarrass their husbands and shame them to family and friends. All she is doing is protecting herself by not going out in public with you and being seen. Over time it may change but don’t count on it.

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    • #680778
      Ashley Konners
      Lady
      Registered On: August 15, 2020
      Topics: 42
      Replies: 613
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      Sorry to hear about your situation wife your wife hun. I think Halloween would be a great time to do it as it’s the only day of the year that no one well judge you.  Years ago before I had come out to my wife she suggested we dress up for  a party and I was Angelina and she was Brad Pitt. I loved the idea and had to hide the fact of that. I played it up a bit but was really looking forward to it. We went out together to buy me a dress, heels, bra and some pantyhose (which I already had lots of) She did my makeup and wig for me and we had an amazing time that night. She did make a few comments that evening about how I left my heels on all night, how well I could dance in the heels let alone walk in them. ( wasn’t my first time in heels but couldn’t let on to that ). And I was shocked how she didn’t noticed that when we got home I didn’t take off anything off for a couple more hours.

    • #680769
      Jill Marshall
      Duchess
      Registered On: June 28, 2020
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 70
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      Hey Shannon,
      Halloween seems so obvious, but every year it comes and goes silently for me. I think it actually makes my wife nervous. It would be pretty clear in any case that it wasn’t really about Halloween and that is probably why.

      What interests me too, and it doesn’t make your wife’s answer less hurtful, is that we talk about ‘acceptance’ from SO’s when what we really want is ‘inclusion’.

      When I think about my relationship with my wife, who doesn’t know me as Jill and hasn’t expressed any interest in that, acceptance is what she does every day, whether I dress or not. In our not-terribly-frequent conversations about dressing, so that she knows how meaningful acceptance is, I make sure she knows about the experience–the things that couldn’t have happened, or that I wouldn’t know about myself, or people I couldn’t have met, except this way. If someday that opens a pathway from acceptance to inclusion, ok, but I can wait. Since you say elsewhere you are on good terms otherwise, perhaps a different kind of discussion needs to happen between you than just one about going out in public, so that she has a better idea where it is coming from or leading?
      Jill

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    • #680538
      Shannon Marx
      Duchess
      Registered On: March 11, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 49
      Has thanked: 325 times
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      Thank you all for the support and advice, another reason why i love this place. There is always an ear to turn to.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680533
      Rozalyn Richards
      Lady
      Registered On: July 27, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 443
      Has thanked: 444 times
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      Hi Shannon I’m sorry to hear that your SO doesn’t accept your feminine side a lot of women won’t accept it because they want a man and not girly Man if you know what i mean, I think that is the main reason I’m still in the closet to my wife if i got that kind of reaction by coming out to her, once you let the genie out of the bottle there’s no putting it back in, I hope things get better with you and your SO I’m not sure where you can go from here X

      Hugs Rozalyn X 💋

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680530
      Tracy Knoble
      Duchess
      Registered On: August 27, 2022
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 8
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      Good luck. I think you are in very tough situation. Take care and stay safe.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680528
      Thea
      Lady
      Registered On: August 30, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 73
      Has thanked: 276 times
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      Shannon, thank you for sharing your situation. I know the feeling exactly: I have only recently”come out”to my wife and although she is sort of accepting, she still comes out with phases like that, saying how the “thought of me dressed make her feel sick”. Still, we’re still together, and in many respects our relationship seems stronger. There’s always hope for the future, as the wise ladies on CDH have said! Take care of yourself, Hugs Gabby

       

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    • #680509
      Ster Eleo
      Duchess
      Registered On: September 15, 2022
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 28
      Has thanked: 32 times
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      Candy corn witches!  One female friend said “that would be cute!”.  A previous year’s idea of helping me be a normal witch was met with “it’s weird” from her so I now won her over, the wife is next, Excited,  I pitched the idea to wife and ….flop like that one time you tried a belly smack in the pool to find out that it really does hurt.  My sales pitch has never been entertained. In fact, regression has set in proportion to my honesty and hopes that through honesty will bring tolerance.  Currently, I’m shy of the “fine just go have fun” green light from her but last year was destroyed when I didn’t get it. I was upset. I let her know it.  I don’t want to go through that again. It’s the one time of year to not take myself so seriously and think about it all year long. Every night.  We aren’t alone.  Just when I dabble in pickup artistry mechanics, and it’s good to continue this fun banter with wives, and only the wife now mind you, it doesn’t look as promising using a form of this soft-science technology to win our SOs over to our ideas.  I’ve had several elective psychology classes in school and every tactic is like throwing darts at a brick wall.  I keep light hearted as much as I can.  I also keep trying realizing that this is a tight-rope walk risking further one way street regression. A serious talk “we have to talk”…. NOTHING EVER GOOD comes from that line.  Avoid this.  Thanks for reading my rant. This is a give and take here.  I am in the boat with you. Many of us are. Looks like we need a bigger boat.

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    • #680441
      Emily Alt
      Hostess
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 1048
      Has thanked: 1055 times
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      I got a similar response from my GF.  She wanted nothing to do with Emily.  We had a DADT arrangement.  But she did acknowledge my need was valid.  Since dressing at home was difficult, I would socialize with some of my local CDH girlfriends.  I would tell her I was taking a weekend for myself and booked a hotel.  No details were ever discussed.

      It appears you have some flexibility and may be able to do something similar.

    • #680438
      Kim Dahlenbergen
      Lady
      Registered On: November 18, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 228
      Has thanked: 190 times
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      Yeah, I wish I had possessed the magic formula to obtain spousal acceptance. In my case, I know my ex tried, but it was just a bridge too far for her. Its heart breaking to lose a partner because they can’t accept a transgender partner. At the same time, its terribly difficult to deny one’s identity for the sake of another person. I wish I had an answer.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680435
      Lucinda Hawkns
      Lady
      Registered On: September 1, 2015
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 1407
      Has thanked: 85 times
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      Shannon, hello and welcome. its hard for wifes to let us dress up some are open to this part of life some are not. my wife knows i dress up, we have a 23 year old still at home so when he is at work wife will tell me i can do what i like to do. i have more female cloths then wife does and even wear female cloths then she does. but i under dress.  have a great day and night. i have added you to my list. feel free to read my profile 

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    • #680434
      Jess Secret
      Lady
      Registered On: February 18, 2021
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 529
      Has thanked: 1364 times
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      Shannon, sorry to hear your SO isn’t accepting. I feel for any sisters here who don’t have an accepting/supportive SO and I definitely feel lucky and blessed to have a boyfriend who is accepting and supportive of me.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680432
      jennifer
      Lady
      Registered On: February 11, 2016
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 36
      Has thanked: 41 times
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      My so accepts me as i am and i get to dress every day.i started buying more female clothes and getting rid of my male clothes.my so will even call me by my female name all the time. Ive been whereing nothing but female clothes for over 2 years now even with a bra. It was rough starting out dressing with her but now she encourages it and even buys me girl things.its takes a while and sometimes they dont accept it and some do ,guess im the lucky ones

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680415
      April Sinclair
      Duchess
      Registered On: April 29, 2022
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 207
      Has thanked: 2678 times
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      Hello Shannon it is definitely not easy for sure and hopefully things will change in time. I think many of us are jealous and envious of those that have understanding supportive open spouses. I get to dress at home and although she is ok with that she seems a little detached for sure. I can tell things are different they eb and flow and it is hard when they take a step backwards for many of us. My wife wont compliment or offer suggestions she is detached won’t look at me as much I notice. We have planned to go yo Las Vegas to Divas at the end of the month and just as I suspected now she says she probably can’t due to work. I know she has huge reservations being seen in public. I understand her concerns but it is joy the same to just dress at home. Its a feeling of nerves, excitement,anxiety,comfort, relaxation, and acceptance to be out in public. I never want to hurt anyone with my choices or desires they are what they are that myself and most all if us here on CDH have dealt with a lifetime it is true we can not have acceptance if we don’t accept ourselves I know that for sure. In my opinion it is not possible or complete if the one you love with all your heart and desire ultimately does not either. I hope my wife and I will go if not I am looking for more controlled events to ease her in. Like the River City Gems when they have events in a hotel or a residential house versus out in Las Vegas I have to be sensitive to here anxiety and panic in 100% open public display. I know I have attended the Esprit Gala in Port Angeles Washington and it is a more controlled environment there also. Just my thoughts I hope you wife at least will be begin to grow to interacting more at home. For most of us are dressing desires has nothing to do with the women we love, but it does affect them whether we like it or not. I hope the best for you and your wife.

      April

      • #680508
        Ster Eleo
        Duchess
        Registered On: September 15, 2022
        Topics: 5
        Replies: 28
        Has thanked: 32 times
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        Awwwwwwww April!  Tell her it’s Halloween!  Everybody’s doing it!  Just drink more Lol.  Dang , I hate to see withdrawing so much with SOs…  I figure that it doesn’t make sense. Once they see some that they are okay with, leads me to believe that they will be okay in the future at the same level. This regression is more common than I once thought.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680413
      Kris Burton
      Lady
      Registered On: August 6, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 90
      Has thanked: 265 times
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      Shannon – it appears from what you say your post that your crossdressing does not cause friction or problems in your marriage. That is good. So many of us experience that, or are paralyzed by fear of that – their SOs are hostile toward their dressing. I can’t imagine what that is like, or how one might stay in such a relationship.

      Although not ideal, your arrangement does not seem to be that bad. I would think of it as having an interest that your wife does not share in. It’s not even really DADT, she knows and is aware, she just does not participate. Many wives don’t care for things like football or golf – but as long as you don’t force those things upon them all is OK. It is not essential that they share all of your interests.

      You do not state how long you have been married. Its also possible that as long as you don’t force the issue she may warm up to it in time. And if not, at least you haven’t been stopped or become an issue in your relationship. Perhaps if you simply continue, her curiosity may bring her around.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #680404
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 442
      Has thanked: 223 times
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      A straight male that enjoys dressing as a woman is difficult to understand. Even more so for the female partner. I’d like to say that given time, SO’s will gain acceptance. Sadly, it isn’t so. Living with so much tension in the relationship can’t be good. It’s better to let him be a her at least once in a while.

      Besides, the ‘girlfriend’ can be lots of fun!

    • #680385
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 0
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      Shannon,

      I’m sorry your wife won’t accept your femme side.  It’s too bad because you look really beautiful in all your photos.  Maybe she is jealous of your looks.  My wife found out I was a cd late in our marriage.  I never dressed in front of her so I don’t know if she would have accepted it.  We are now separated and getting divorced so I guess it doesn’t matter.  Maybe you should just sit down with your wife and find out what she will tolerate in order to keep your marriage working.  Good luck.

      Kerri

    • #680384
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 29
      Replies: 1646
      Has thanked: 11213 times
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      The very first time I went out in public as Michelle was on the crossdressers holiday of Halloween. It was a wonderful experience I will never forget.

      Yes SO’s who are accepting are rare and thats why they are called unicorns.

      My SO accepts I have this need and tolerates my dressing to a certain extent at home but like your SO she would never go out with me as Michelle. She says… “Don’t embarrass me!” I too am so envious of the SO’s here who are fully accepting and participate in their spouses dressing and going out… it must be crossdresser heaven.

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