• This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 3 years ago by Anonymous.
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    • #361862

      In many of the writings and stories here its semantics really, but still a bit of a thorn.

      There is a vast difference between acceptance and tolerance, the words are not interchangeable. Just ask any minority lately, tolerance is no longer good enough.

      Tolerance can and is sometimes a stepping stone to acceptance during a period of adjustment but shouldn’t be seen as a healthy permanent plateau in any ongoing personal or social construct.

      There are couples who stay together for various other reasons such as health, money, or kids even after one partner has knowledge of unacceptable behaviour by the other, I’m thinking of lying and cheating here basically, but there are others. Sometimes theres hope for a change in the offender through discussion, counselling and therapy, so its tolerated for a period of time.

      Like other groups, change in our crossdressing behaviour is unlikely as it IS our being and we deserve to be accepted even if that means some form of realstic two way compromise. Support would be even better, but thats not always obtainable.

      Hypothetically speaking;

      If you were a visible minority, which in fact you are, but lets pick almost any different one for this, and your partner said they were ok with that….as long as the curtains stayed drawn and the lights stayed off so they couldn’t see you, you were not allowed to ever utter your existance or be seen by family or anybody they knew. Would you seriously call that Acceptance, and be ok with it?

      I fully understand that everybody here may have different and sometimes difficult situations for which individual choices need to be made.

      I’m simply looking to point out the difference between the two realities, use of the appropriate term, and hopefully have some set about making plans towards actual acceptance not only in the way we are treated in our lives by those around us, but also by how we see and treat others around us. I think that one goes hand in hand with the other.

       

    • #361885

      Hi Olivia I truly understand where you ae going with this.We have tolerate most things we may not totally agree with or we do not tolerate it we just walk away and let some one else deal with it. Tolerance can be the compromise for the moment. If i respect the person or love the person and they are asking for acceptance then all i can say i will try to accept the situation and maybe it will not as bad i may of thought initially and i finally accept it. Supporting something i have accepted is a bit of a jump That all depends on the situation. We cannot expect society to make exceptions for their rules. We can ask for tolerance in general but it does not take much to send that tolerance back 50 years by one dummy who decides to do some thing  that is immoral while dressed in the opposite gender. We all pay the price. I saw some protester go after some woman not really try to hurt her but decided to confront her while dressed in bra and panties and wig. WTF was this person thinking. Its little things like that create a image for general society. They may not say anything but that image stays in their mind for a while. I think getting acceptance and then support has to come from that is close to you. It can be family friends, private club members ect,. We are a very small part of society in general and right now considered harmless, not very well understood and worthy of some study. I think we are even smaller than the gay community but look what it took for the gay community to get accepted. They do not need provisions made for them like we do. We want restroom situation to be looked at . We want to participate sports as the opposite gender. There is a lot of push back because they really do not understand everything  that comes with acceptance. Then there is politics . Sorry for rambling Acceptance will come in time. We have to make sure we are best represented when the time presents itself. LUV Stephanie

    • #362232
      Cassie Jayson
      Duchess

      Hi Olivia, great topic.  Acceptance or tolerance probably will never happen universally.  I know my own situation my other can go from tolerance to near acceptance to belittling and name calling in just a few minutes.  I believe much of the general society will do similar things.  Some people don’t want to understand and make up there minds that we are all weird etc…  I know that I could try to explain my own motivations but I don’t even understand them myself.

      I believe we need to be happy with all the tolerance we can find, be thrilled with any acceptance out there.  Then we can be non threatening and be pleasant to every one in any of these categories.  Hopefully we can move more people to acceptance.

       

      Be good all Sandy

    • #362237
      Anonymous

      Olivia,

      I think of acceptance as  a type of de facto endorsement.  You cannot get, nor should you ever be expected to accept every type of behavior; it would require eliminating all standards of behavior.  On the other hand, we should be tolerant of any behavior which does not harm others or infringe on their rights to a peaceful existence.  And, I would add, we certainly have a right to be free of any retribution for engaging in such behavior within those limits.

      It would be wonderful if we could roam freely as our femme selves and be accepted;  but any effort to compel such acceptance is IMO, akin to making a “charitable contirbution” at gunpoint.  {steps down from soapbox}

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