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Hi fellow travellers
I hope this is the correct place for these comments. And I hope I make some sense as this is not planned thoughts in advance. I want to write about what I feel since deciding to ‘live’ with Ruth-Ann.
Unlike many of you, my feelings only emerged some years ago. In a moment of weakness I tried my wife’s panties in the bedroom one day when she was not at home. The feeling was so erotic and overwhelming it took me completely by surprise. I lay on the bed in them for about a half hour, feeling wonderful. I drifted off a little. I since discovered that this is sometimes referred to as ‘the pink mist.’ I vowed never to do it again and I didn’t. But gradually the power of my feminine feelings grew and I began to wonder did I have two identities. I also vowed that if I ever wore panties again, they would be mine, ones I would purchase myself. I have resisted this impulse now for something like five years.
I came across Crossdressing Heaven and almost fell of my high horse and nearly hurt myself 🙂 There were so many others with the same feelings and desires. I tuned out, but kept coming back. Now I’m here and have got such a lovely welcome.
Here is a weird bit, but completely true. I was lying in bed one night, feeling incredibly ‘alive’ or what you might call infused with a feeling of femininity, I don’t know how else to explain it. I said to what I was beginning to believe was another individual inside me, ‘are you really there?’ The answer came back ‘yes, I am. I always have been, you just never knew, you were too busy with your male masculine life.’ I held her hand (Yes, I know, I was holding my own hand, but right at that moment, it felt like the hand of another individual). I asked her did she want a life, to come out and express herself and she replied simply ‘yes.’
So I read various ways to find a name and I came on Ruth and it just seemed so right. For some strange reason I, or we, identified with that name. I embellished it by adding ‘Ann.’
We (both of us) have been feeling great since. I have to go shopping and have decided to start with a wig, then makeup. In the meantime I have my eye on some beautiful sexy panties and bras I found online following links in this site. I haven’t bought anything yet. My first plan is to put up a picture of Ruth-Ann to replace the avatar on CH. But this will take a while.
I’m not a wealthy person, Ruth-Ann will have to shop cautiously 🙂 And I have so much to learn about makeup. But I’m determined to take this first step.
This is such a wonderful community to be a part of. I’m so happy I found my way here xx-
Welcome to the sisterhood…its an exciting wonderful journey with highs and lows but one thing is for sure…. you can never go back once the pink fog surrounds you and you fall down the rabbit hole into this mystic world.
Hi Michelle,
I know!! I feel that. I love the line ‘once the pink fog surrounds you and you fall down the hole into this mystic world’. One of the reasons I plucked up the courage to join, beautiful images and words by beautiful people (well beautiful girls ) x
Oh Ruth-Ann,
Once that pink fog gets you it doesn’t let go!
Enjoy the journey! Pantie purchases are super addicting. You are going to have so much fun!
💕Lara
Hi Lara,
I know now that is what I have been experiencing. The pink fog. God, I love it. I have some work to do after signing off and then it’s online to shop for lingerie. That very first purchase is still in the future. But not for much longer x
Welcome Ruth-Ann.
CDH is an incredible community and I really do appreciate everyone here. Only because of the support and advice, I have been able to bring Michelle out into the open.
It was the advice of so many other ladies here and learning from their own experiences that this “pink fog” we are under can be WONDERFUL!
I have 2 stories to share with you:
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/small-steps-went-grocery-shopping-in-a-bra/
and
https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/forums/topic/in-store-bra-fitting-my-amazing-journey/
If it wasn’t for the support I have received here, none of these would have happened.
Enjoy your time here Ruth-Ann and have fun!
Hi Michelle, I’ll note the bra size you mentioned in your first piece. I work from home a good bit now as well, so I think Ruth-Ann will be out a lot as time passes. My wife babysits for our children so is away about three days a week. I have felt the pink fog without even knowing what it was until I seen it named here. And what’s amazing is I’m even getting more work done since I accepted her xx
Loved your story Ruth Ann. Finding yourself is a scary and exciting journey. It looks like you are on your way, let Ruth Ann takeover for a while. Hopefully you can merge your male self into Ruth Ann and youwill both be better for it.
.Cassie
Hi Cassie, thank you so much for those kind remarks. Yes, leaving Ruth-Ann ‘have her way’ is proving very exciting. She already has me on a diet. I love it. x
Hi Ruth Ann,
Welcome to CDH. If you’re ordering on line be sure to check the sizing charts before you order. On a limited budget returning items can be stressful. You can chat on line with many establishments to inquire about the sizing before ordering. If you sign up for emails you might get a discount code to use for a savings or free postage on your order. If privacy is a concern you can cancel the emails.
Alice
Hi Alice. Yes, I have got myself a tape measure, the one for clothes and body. I’ve decided to start with a wig and lingerie. And I’m checking out makeup. I do have an email I can use for that purpose. So, I just so love going shopping!! (Never thought I’d say that 🙂 ) x
Welcome, Ruth-Ann. Don’t worry about not having a ton of money. Start small and build over time. I have found a lot of nice things on clearance racks or at thrift shops for very little money.
Hi Alison. I know! Charity shops here are a rich source for dresses. And I’ve spotted some bargains on lingerie on line. I’m so looking forward to this.
Hi Diane,
thank you xx
Hi CamaHTa,
Thank you for those kind words. It took a long time to get to the stage where I could express them. This group is the reason xx
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