- May 1, 2021 at 10:29 am #486373Effie JayneParticipantRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 833Has thanked: 1631 timesBeen thanked: 2814 times
🌺 hi girls, I hope you all are having a blessed day! 🍭🌼 I just wanted share what’s going on in my cd life lately. I’ve been getting out quite a bit, dressed. 🦋 Not just at work, which is usual, but I mean out in full public view ,🌸 and it’s wonderful, to just be me , Effie 🎀🎀 in general public living life as a girl 👩🦰.
But I’m walking a dangerous line, coming out to friends, going out.. all while my wife doesn’t know 😢.. it’s killing me inside. I cannot do this anymore without being open and honest with her. The good Lord has been opening little doors for me, to plant seeds leading up to this conversation I need to have with her 🌼🧚♀️ . As a matter of fact, my wife has come to me with secrets of her own lately, opening up to me about some of her desires..which I accepted and embraced with/for her. This gives me confidence that I can come to her, with my secrets too! 💜
So I’m going to open up, soon, within the next month I think..
Total of 29 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- May 2, 2021 at 6:13 pm #486941Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 32Replies: 1040Has thanked: 14557 timesBeen thanked: 3903 times
My wife still has difficulties sometimes, but is very supportive of Bridgette. She even said she missed Bridgette this last Thursday. But it requires absolute honesty to make it work, and to gain and keep her support. You’ve reached that point now it’s time for “the talk”… and not the one on CBS. I wish you all the success there is, and no matter what, you’ve got support here. We’re all rooting for you!
- May 2, 2021 at 5:03 pm #486913Paula1LadyRegistered On: October 22, 2015Topics: 9Replies: 581Has thanked: 691 timesBeen thanked: 1410 times
I would not leave it to long, you might be very surprised that your wife could already know or have her very strong feeling our SO’s have a thing that I like to call spider sense, they just sense things, Mine found out and it mader things a lot harder for a long time, we are know really good and she has always said repeatedly, I wish you told me before so we could explore together
Good luck Paula XX
- May 2, 2021 at 12:33 pm #486808Teri RayLadyRegistered On: September 24, 2017Topics: 0Replies: 19Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 72 times
Hiya Effie, I have no real advice except to give you my story. I was a closet dresser for over 30 years when my wife found a picture of me on our computer. I believed I was very through in hiding my dressing but eventually it came out. This was not the best way to reveal my secret for sure. But after she found out we had a big talk but I was not fully honest. This resulted in my wife and I being in DADT for several years. My wife eventually confronted me again because she knew I was dressing when she was away but did not know or understand what I did when dressed. This second big talk was the most difficult but the end result was very good. Hard to explain to your wife why I had the desire to dress as a woman when I could not understand my desires myself. This open and honest discussion helped my wife understand my desire better and resolved many of her fears since all she had to go on was her imagination. I am not sure how you wife will take your talk but I am sure she will have many of the same questions my wife had for me. I can tell you that having my wife know openly my desires to dress has significantly helped both of us. I wish you and your wife the best outcome. Just remember that if you are a good person who crossdresses before your wife knows of your desire you remain that good person after you have the discussion.
- May 2, 2021 at 8:50 am #486754MelanieElizabethLadyRegistered On: January 9, 2021Topics: 10Replies: 136Has thanked: 301 timesBeen thanked: 779 times
Hi Effie . I hate to pour more cold water on a hard situation but…. Every day that goes by makes the situation more difficulty in my experience. I came out to my wife a few years back but it took me a long time to get the courage to do it. I remember waiting and waiting for the right moment which seemed to never come. My wife could tell I was distressed about something and would ask me but I still couldnt say the words. The lies and secrets were eating me alive. I beat myself up about for weeks i knew the longer I waited further jeopardized my relationship by deepening the sense of betrayal she might feel.
The discussion was tough but in my eyes successful. She isn’t totally accepting but the weight lifted off my shoulders is palpable. The talk has made both of our lives better. Good luck.
- May 2, 2021 at 12:06 pm #486798Effie JayneDuchessRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 833Has thanked: 1631 timesBeen thanked: 2814 times
I know you are right Melanie 🌺 I guess I’m waiting for Mother’s Day, and then our Anniversary on the 16th to pass first… just in case she takes it hard , I wouldn’t want to ruin those days for her.. 🦋 … something tells me she won’t take it too hard, that she will accept me as I am… but I can’t be certain… until I talk with her…🌼🌼
- May 2, 2021 at 8:32 am #486751Stevie SteinerAmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 52Replies: 1260Has thanked: 5712 timesBeen thanked: 6451 times
That is fantastic news Effie, I’m so happy for you!! I can’t imagine your wife not seeing and appreciating how beautiful you are hon!
Fingers crossed and blowing you a good luck kiss girl! ❤
- May 2, 2021 at 12:07 pm #486799
- May 2, 2021 at 7:47 am #486730rebekka mooreLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2017Topics: 85Replies: 992Has thanked: 580 timesBeen thanked: 2218 times
Hi Ladies, you Lovely Ladies!
You don’t need to hear this from me but……having a wife that completely does not accept this is not uncommon, and does not come without repercussions.
– I made a conscious decision that I was going to wear what I love and what makes me feel good.
– I made a conscious decision that I was (and do) remove my body hair.
– I made a conscious decision that I had waited way too long to do this.
– I made a conscious decision that I had to be selfish in these decisions.
– I was not aware of the repercussions.
– My wife and I get along fine, although at times things are tense.
– My wife decided that she cannot have an intimate relationship with someone who is “less than the man” she married. (we have not been intimate for 2 years and going).
– My wife is hurt and confused by the decisions I’ve made. (She has not told me this but I know it).
– My wife has no obligation to accept this.
– My wife has desires too I’m sure, and I’m always worried that someone else will fulfill those desires.
– My wife aside, I have no friends and I know the vast majority of my family would feel the same way.
None of this is easy. It feels great most of the time, but we all do suffer the consequences of our decisions, and we have to accept them.
Lastly I will say, I do not regret what I am doing. This is as much a part of me as any other aspect of who I am.
Love to you all!!
- May 2, 2021 at 6:18 am #486683Jamie PeridotLadyRegistered On: February 19, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 267Has thanked: 1568 timesBeen thanked: 823 times
I should finish the letter that I am writing to my wife today. I will send you a copy to read for your input and in case there is something you would like to use. Looks like this “may” be the month for both of us.😘🤗💋
After reading Stephanie Kennedy’s reply it occurred to me that you might tell her that you decided to come out to her, but wanted to practice/ build up courage by telling a few select people (who weren’t so vested) first. It might helpp a little with the “why didn’t you tell me first!” Also, Teralynn has some valuable input for “The Talk.”
- This reply was modified 1 month ago by Jamie Peridot.
- May 2, 2021 at 12:10 pm #486801
- May 2, 2021 at 6:16 am #486682Stephanie KennedyPrincessRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 13Replies: 861Has thanked: 5584 timesBeen thanked: 3450 times
Hi Effie I was not as brave as so many here. My wife found some my clothes while I was on a business trip. It was the reverse for me she called me and said “WE HAVE TO TALK”. I just did not know what to say when I heard those words. It was the tone in which she said it. I never heard that tone from her before and it truly scared me. She told me afterwards she was scared also. It was a very emotional time for the both of us. I was a member of a private club for CDs and transsexuals at the time so others knew before her that was a big deal for her. She will find out eventually its only a matter time. Its best she find out from your words. If she is beginning to share some of her secrets about her self. This maybe a hint to you to share your secrets. She may already suspect something already. Woman pay attention to details i never even thought to give a moment of my time. So be prepared to share details upon request.Try not to over load her all at once. She will only ask as many questions as she can digest at the time. Give her time to digest everything she heard. There is no time limit. It took my wife a month after our many discussions to come over to me and say she wanted to see what I looked like fully dressed. She was amazed and did offer a few compliments and kind suggestions. She still had many questions but simple questions like Where did I get my sense of style? because it was nothing like hers. She was trying to make sure i was still attracted to her and the way she dressed. Its the details so just be honest, let her figure out what is best for her. She will let you know.
A huge Hug. Stephanie
- May 2, 2021 at 12:12 pm #486803
- May 2, 2021 at 3:58 am #486631Gabriela RomaniManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 11, 2021Topics: 121Replies: 188Has thanked: 163 timesBeen thanked: 931 times
Just try not to wait for “the right time”. Ther is such thing as a terrible time to tell, but the possibility of there being a perfect time is close to none.
And hard as it will be on her, learning that you told others before telling her will likely be an issue in itself, so, the sooner…
- May 2, 2021 at 3:57 am #486629Regi KellyPrincessRegistered On: October 9, 2020Topics: 36Replies: 1053Has thanked: 11175 timesBeen thanked: 4619 times
Oh, Effie, I do wish you would get that talk, done? I agree, the line you walk is soooo dangerous, if you are out as you say, it’s only a matter of time, and the hurt she will have from your deceit, will be much worse than whatever happens?
I understand the fear we all have of “the talk”, but in my humble opinion, honesty is the only way, for any relationship to be healthy. Yes, It may go badly, but as is, you are doing a dis-service to you both?
I wish only the best for you, but please, move forward?
Huge hugs, Regi👩💕
- May 2, 2021 at 3:37 am #486623Tara RyanLadyRegistered On: April 20, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 65Has thanked: 96 timesBeen thanked: 243 times
- May 2, 2021 at 5:54 am #486675
- May 2, 2021 at 3:27 am #486622Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 85Replies: 1821Has thanked: 6494 timesBeen thanked: 10196 times
All I would say is ….make it soon!!!
If you are coming out to friends and your wife finds out from one of them…or it slips out in conversation….or even on social media!!!! oh gosh, that would be so hard on her…..even if she is accepting and I pray she is….she really has to hear it first hand…..
…just my opinion
…….thought I would add….your profile pics just get better and better…..
Good luck honey, grace xx
- May 2, 2021 at 5:53 am #486674
- May 2, 2021 at 2:53 am #486617GenevïéveLadyRegistered On: July 28, 2020Topics: 30Replies: 1342Has thanked: 11451 timesBeen thanked: 5539 times
You will feel so much better after you tell your wife Effie. It’s a relief like no other. Hopefully she is an understanding woman and accepts your feminine side.
I hope all goes well…
Edit: as the other girls have mentioned… the sooner the better.
- May 1, 2021 at 10:23 pm #486582Jillian D’LaneyLadyRegistered On: March 8, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 1Has thanked: 1 timeBeen thanked: 6 times
I’m praying for you honey!
I learned first hand years ago with an ex the importance of making sure she finds out from you first!
Of course, I’d love to know how you can dress at work she doesn’t know!!
- May 1, 2021 at 8:15 pm #486559Tara JeaneLadyRegistered On: December 12, 2020Topics: 8Replies: 214Has thanked: 1487 timesBeen thanked: 1027 times
Wishing, hoping and praying that ‘the talk’ goes well for you and that the signs you have been seeing means she already knows or suspects and is okay with it! Good luck to you, Girlfriend!!!
As other girls have said, lean on us anytime! I hope you won’t need it, but we are here for you!!!
*kisses* tara 🙂
- May 2, 2021 at 5:48 am #486670
- May 1, 2021 at 7:52 pm #486544Stephanie BassPrincess - AnnualRegistered On: November 30, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 1779Has thanked: 20794 timesBeen thanked: 5910 times
Hi Effie sounds like you have played this scenerio over in your mind and it worked out well .. So go for it sweety you know she has peaked your intrests in her thoughts so he he put your big girl panties on and sit her down next to you on the couch with a nice glass of wine and go for it sounds so right good luck Effie you have this ..
- May 2, 2021 at 5:47 am #486669
- May 1, 2021 at 7:20 pm #486531JaniceLadyRegistered On: April 9, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 6Has thanked: 40 timesBeen thanked: 24 times
I think the time is right for you Effie. My prayers are with you for support. There may be an inkling that she might know a little more then you think. Just be honest with her. I believe you will come out stronger in the end. Wouldn’t it be nice if she excepts and works with you on your journey. Lot of love your way and a big Huggg. Janice
- May 2, 2021 at 5:45 am #486668DuchessRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 833Has thanked: 1631 timesBeen thanked: 2814 times
- May 2, 2021 at 6:14 am #486681JaniceLadyRegistered On: April 9, 2021Topics: 0Replies: 6Has thanked: 40 timesBeen thanked: 24 times
You sound like a sweetheart. I know the fight that is going on inside you. I was there. It wasn’t easy for me to talk. So I kind of let myself get caught then we had to talk. Scary but you need to be true to you also. The sooner the better. It doesn’t go away. She may support you in private and she may go the distance and go out in public with you. How wonderful a thought. I am just talking and possibly through these words you will find some comfort. I love your being human. Fear is an awful thing. I wish I could take a class on how to over come fear and live a full life full with a big smile and confidence in myself. I walk that way now in public , but it took a long time and I found myself staring at the walls. Words of thought. There are books out there for the reading. Prayers your way Sweetheart. Love and Hugs to you. Janice.
- May 1, 2021 at 6:46 pm #486511Clara CrossLadyRegistered On: December 7, 2020Topics: 10Replies: 327Has thanked: 926 timesBeen thanked: 1518 times
- May 1, 2021 at 7:09 pm #486526
- May 1, 2021 at 5:22 pm #486486Sandy JaysonDuchessRegistered On: September 29, 2019Topics: 23Replies: 531Has thanked: 1082 timesBeen thanked: 2435 times
- May 1, 2021 at 6:14 pm #486501
- May 1, 2021 at 4:58 pm #486470Katie TimeDuchessRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 24Replies: 179Has thanked: 1213 timesBeen thanked: 981 times
Dear friend, I know you know that we’re all here supporting you and what is coming. I know how hard that event is going to be. But you will come out the other side stronger, happier and better. Big hugs girlfriend 💕💋 Katie
- May 1, 2021 at 4:21 pm #486462Eileen BachBaronessRegistered On: February 27, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 69Has thanked: 19 timesBeen thanked: 311 times
With all your public outings, wife may be miffed that she’s the last to know. Down play those details.
She has had secret desires? How intriguing! Hopefully she wants to dress you up.
- May 1, 2021 at 6:09 pm #486499DuchessRegistered On: February 7, 2021Topics: 30Replies: 833Has thanked: 1631 timesBeen thanked: 2814 times
Thank you, I won’t bring up the recent outings! 💐🌸 tonight on my walk, it was a bit cool.. she offered me her little girly jacket with embellishments to wear.. 🦋🎀 … you bet I wore it!! And she was grinning from ear to ear!! 🍭 hmmmmmmm.. gets me thinking ..💕🌼💐🎀
- May 1, 2021 at 1:20 pm #486408
- May 1, 2021 at 1:17 pm #486405Samantha JoLadyRegistered On: April 3, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 55Has thanked: 166 timesBeen thanked: 282 times
- May 1, 2021 at 11:52 am #486396Bettylou CoxDuchessRegistered On: May 26, 2019Topics: 21Replies: 2217Has thanked: 4563 timesBeen thanked: 8150 times
I think “almost” has arrived, Effie. Spouses shouldn’t keep secrets, and you could be pleasantly surprised. My wife believes it is sinful for men to wear dresses, but she has embraced Bettylou, nevertheless.
- May 1, 2021 at 11:14 am #486386Candice WaymooreLadyRegistered On: April 2, 2021Topics: 2Replies: 16Has thanked: 121 timesBeen thanked: 101 times
Good luck Effie!
I wish my wife would share some of her own secrets with me. I really hope she accepts this part of you. I had a nice moment a few days ago when my wife asked to let her see me in a white bodysuit I bought on Amazon. I asked if I could wear a black skater skirt with it and she said yes. I finally got to share a cute outfit with her. I hope you get to share too.
- May 1, 2021 at 12:04 pm #486398
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