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  • #578458
    Andi DuBois
    Participant
    Registered On: January 7, 2021
    Topics: 8
    Replies: 122
    Has thanked: 213 times
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    Now that my SO has started going back “into the office” a couple of days a week she is starting to have to wear something other than leggings and big jumpers. She thinks it is highly amusing that I am so much better at matching the dresses, jackets and accesories than she is!

    She was explaining this to the teenager (who mostly doesn’t care about these things) and joked that I must be “secretly wearing women’s clothing or something” (SO doesn’t know about the dressing). The teenager who does know (and doesn’t care about that either) covered for me to which my SO replied “it wouldn’t bother me if he did“.

    Sadly, I don’t think the reality would match the rhetoric if I told her the truth!

    -A.

Viewing 15 reply threads
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    • #579386
      Natalie Jones
      Lady
      Registered On: September 20, 2020
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 113
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      Andi,

      if you’re teenage daughter knows how doesn’t your wife? I wouldnt be surprised if during a mother/daughter conversation your daughter didn’t let something slip. I suspect your wife knows more than you think and with her comment may be ready to accept. Only you know when your ready.. best of luck!

      Natalie

      side note. In my state PA one does not need a cause to file for divorce. You just have to prove you’ve been separated for a year then file . It’s a no-fault state.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #579404
        Andi DuBois
        Lady
        Registered On: January 7, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 122
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        The teenager knows because I told them about it when they were struggling with their own issues around their own gender identity – they are non-binary.

        They get referred to as “the teenager” because we haven’t found a gender-neutral replacement for daughter that we are all happy with.

        -A.

        2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #579309
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 85
      Replies: 1983
      Has thanked: 8761 times
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      Andi, if your SO is half as cool as the teenager…. well, don’t sell her short!  At the very least it demands further investigating.  Do not dismiss what may be a golden opportunity out of hand without at least checking it out more.  You can be a bit subtle at first about it if needed, but be upfront and honest above all. 🙂

      Stevie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #579306
      Barb Wire
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: September 16, 2021
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 704
      Has thanked: 4026 times
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      Hi Andi!

      Sounds like you got a pretty cool teenager in your household!

      However, at first, I also saw “the teenager” as being you, kinda like a split-personality. So reading your post became a spooky read! (Cue the Psycho theme music!). I can relate.

      Joking aside, yeah your SO knows, like many here have said.

      Good luck!

      Hugs, Barb 🤗

      Btw, my two kids are pretty cool too.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
      • #579402
        Andi DuBois
        Lady
        Registered On: January 7, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 122
        Has thanked: 213 times
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        It is a long time since I was a teenager in chronological years. My brain, thankfully, still thinks it is!

        -A.

        1 user thanked author for this post.
        • #579428
          Barb Wire
          Duchess - Annual
          Registered On: September 16, 2021
          Topics: 17
          Replies: 704
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          Awesome! Me too. 😊

          1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #579287
      Marti
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 5, 2019
      Topics: 62
      Replies: 957
      Has thanked: 4975 times
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      Hi Andy,

      I sometimes wonder if DADT -Dont Ask, Don’t Tell – takes on a life of its own.

      “No I’m not going to tell, I’d rather wait for my SO to ask”
      “Well I’m not going to ask, I’d rather wait for my SO to tell”

      Marti xxx

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #579274
      Stephanie Kennedy
      Registered On: March 15, 2019
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 1123
      Has thanked: 8840 times
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      Hi Andi She knows you are different. She is testing if her thoughts are correct. Its up to you if you want to confirm her thoughts. Just continue to be you. I am sure there is going to be a confirmation day. Its coming.

      Luv Stephanie

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #579264
      Connie Love
      Lady
      Registered On: May 25, 2020
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 8
      Has thanked: 3 times
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      Before i told (got caught )by my wife I always picked her clothes she loved that I always picked out clothes that made her feel and look sexy. She told all her friends and family that only I could pick out her clothes and wouldnt purchase anything without my input. Yes i also got some strange opinions about participating in her wardrobe choices.After she found out she realized the reason i had so much fashion sense.I always have the sexiest dressed wife at the party

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #578587
      Julie (Jules) Anderson
      Duchess
      Registered On: February 9, 2021
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 134
      Has thanked: 210 times
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      Andi, I think it’s always a wise assumption that your wife knows already. If we are honest, we understand that generic women are smarter than us, well at least smarter than me, when it comes to these sorts of things…

      Possibly you could make up a story for your wife about some fictional guy you heard of who came out as CD. Ask her what she thinks about it in order to gage her feelings around CD. And of course be prepared for what she asks your thoughts. It could be the start of an important conversation.
      Hugs
      Jules
      💖🌈👩

    • #578585
      Geraldine Mac
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: July 11, 2021
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 52
      Has thanked: 141 times
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      Andi – reminds me of a conversation I had last week with my unknowing SO. She suggested I was turning into a metrosexual because she has noticed I have started to shave my arms and use moisturiser! But the time is not yet right for me to come out – but I am hoping to build up to it in 2022 🙂 Zsazsa

    • #578584
      Juliette Parfois
      Lady
      Registered On: February 12, 2018
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 23
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      I agree with Mary. I think she knows and was looking for confirmation from said teenager. Sounds like a good time to pick up on SO’s interest.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #578582
      Peta Mari
      Lady
      Registered On: September 30, 2020
      Topics: 29
      Replies: 571
      Has thanked: 914 times
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      I think S.O knows.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #578576
      Krisy
      Lady
      Registered On: September 7, 2016
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 37
      Has thanked: 76 times
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      Maybe it’s time to ask if she wants to practice on your nails!!!

      Krisy xx

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #578515
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Excuse me a while… this is one developing story I’m going to follow !!!!
      Sincere wishes 🙂☺️

    • #578513
      Anonymous
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      But oh-
      “ many a truth spoken in jest” ???

      Sincere wishes!

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #578470
      Liara Wolfe
      Lady
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 3
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      Like you I would like to be out in the open with my SO. One day I will get the courage to tell her.

      Hugs, Liara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #578466
      Michelle McQueen
      Lady
      Registered On: June 14, 2021
      Topics: 28
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      Hi Andi.

      You will never know until you have that conversation. I think our SO’s suspect more than we know. You can always drop hints and see how she reacts before going for the whole revelation. You may be wasting time you could be making a wardrobe.

    • #578459
      Anonymous
      Topics: 0
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      Andi…

      sometimes ” in the moment “…

      people speak their true feelings…can you really be sure she was just joking???…does she not suspect anything that a drab male can co ordinate her wardrobe so well……

      …do you secretly long that she does wonder??….mmmm.

      Huggs, grace x

      • #578463
        Andi DuBois
        Lady
        Registered On: January 7, 2021
        Topics: 8
        Replies: 122
        Has thanked: 213 times
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        Hi Grace,

        I have no idea what she suspects, imagines or thinks she knows! For the longest time I have also been painting her nails and thinks I am as good at it as I am because I am just a perfectionist!

        I would love for it to be out in the open but until I am confident that revealing it isn’t going to require a divorce lawyer I think I will bide my time!

        -A.

        • #578514
          Anonymous
          Topics: 0
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          Keep going- Enjoydoing those nails
          !! . Maybe other attentive helping too?
          Sounds promising to me !!!
          Tactful and purposeful – you know the way!

          5 users thanked author for this post.
        • #578485
          Laura Lovett
          Lady
          Registered On: March 26, 2020
          Topics: 39
          Replies: 1545
          Has thanked: 5095 times
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          You can’t be divorced over wearing clothes – especially these days with all the LGBT+++ support.

          Never let that be a sword of Damocles, Andi!

          Love Laura

          5 users thanked author for this post.
          • #578746
            Andi DuBois
            Lady
            Registered On: January 7, 2021
            Topics: 8
            Replies: 122
            Has thanked: 213 times
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            No, but I could get divorced for “if you have been hiding this from me all these years… what else have you been hiding… I can’t trust you any  more”

            -A.

            3 users thanked author for this post.
        • #578467
          Anonymous
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          Oh gosh Andi….please don’t think I’m pushy…you know her!!…

          and as Chris de burgh sang…timing is EVERYTHING…

          Most women are just so amazingly ” switched on “….I just wondered if she wondered why you were so ” female sensitive “….I so hope you get there in the end xx

          4 users thanked author for this post.
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