- November 21, 2021 at 9:08 am #578458Andi DuBoisParticipantRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 122Has thanked: 213 timesBeen thanked: 591 times
Now that my SO has started going back “into the office” a couple of days a week she is starting to have to wear something other than leggings and big jumpers. She thinks it is highly amusing that I am so much better at matching the dresses, jackets and accesories than she is!
She was explaining this to the teenager (who mostly doesn’t care about these things) and joked that I must be “secretly wearing women’s clothing or something” (SO doesn’t know about the dressing). The teenager who does know (and doesn’t care about that either) covered for me to which my SO replied “it wouldn’t bother me if he did“.
Sadly, I don’t think the reality would match the rhetoric if I told her the truth!
Total of 29 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- November 23, 2021 at 8:45 am #579386Natalie JonesLadyRegistered On: September 20, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 113Has thanked: 356 timesBeen thanked: 566 times
if you’re teenage daughter knows how doesn’t your wife? I wouldnt be surprised if during a mother/daughter conversation your daughter didn’t let something slip. I suspect your wife knows more than you think and with her comment may be ready to accept. Only you know when your ready.. best of luck!
side note. In my state PA one does not need a cause to file for divorce. You just have to prove you’ve been separated for a year then file . It’s a no-fault state.
- November 23, 2021 at 9:35 am #579404Andi DuBoisLadyRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 122Has thanked: 213 timesBeen thanked: 591 times
The teenager knows because I told them about it when they were struggling with their own issues around their own gender identity – they are non-binary.
They get referred to as “the teenager” because we haven’t found a gender-neutral replacement for daughter that we are all happy with.
- November 23, 2021 at 6:05 am #579309Stevie SteinerManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 85Replies: 1983Has thanked: 8761 timesBeen thanked: 10180 times
Andi, if your SO is half as cool as the teenager…. well, don’t sell her short! At the very least it demands further investigating. Do not dismiss what may be a golden opportunity out of hand without at least checking it out more. You can be a bit subtle at first about it if needed, but be upfront and honest above all. 🙂
- November 23, 2021 at 5:45 am #579306Barb WireDuchess - AnnualRegistered On: September 16, 2021Topics: 17Replies: 704Has thanked: 4026 timesBeen thanked: 3323 times
Sounds like you got a pretty cool teenager in your household!
However, at first, I also saw “the teenager” as being you, kinda like a split-personality. So reading your post became a spooky read! (Cue the Psycho theme music!). I can relate.
Joking aside, yeah your SO knows, like many here have said.
Hugs, Barb 🤗
Btw, my two kids are pretty cool too.
- November 23, 2021 at 9:32 am #579402LadyRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 122Has thanked: 213 timesBeen thanked: 591 times
It is a long time since I was a teenager in chronological years. My brain, thankfully, still thinks it is!
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- November 23, 2021 at 10:33 am #579428
- November 23, 2021 at 4:19 am #579287MartiDuchessRegistered On: February 5, 2019Topics: 62Replies: 957Has thanked: 4975 timesBeen thanked: 4525 times
I sometimes wonder if DADT -Dont Ask, Don’t Tell – takes on a life of its own.
“No I’m not going to tell, I’d rather wait for my SO to ask”
“Well I’m not going to ask, I’d rather wait for my SO to tell”
- November 23, 2021 at 3:51 am #579274Stephanie KennedyRegistered On: March 15, 2019Topics: 20Replies: 1123Has thanked: 8840 timesBeen thanked: 4855 times
- November 23, 2021 at 3:29 am #579264Connie LoveLadyRegistered On: May 25, 2020Topics: 0Replies: 8Has thanked: 3 timesBeen thanked: 40 times
Before i told (got caught )by my wife I always picked her clothes she loved that I always picked out clothes that made her feel and look sexy. She told all her friends and family that only I could pick out her clothes and wouldnt purchase anything without my input. Yes i also got some strange opinions about participating in her wardrobe choices.After she found out she realized the reason i had so much fashion sense.I always have the sexiest dressed wife at the party
- November 21, 2021 at 4:11 pm #578587Julie (Jules) AndersonDuchessRegistered On: February 9, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 134Has thanked: 210 timesBeen thanked: 630 times
Andi, I think it’s always a wise assumption that your wife knows already. If we are honest, we understand that generic women are smarter than us, well at least smarter than me, when it comes to these sorts of things…
Possibly you could make up a story for your wife about some fictional guy you heard of who came out as CD. Ask her what she thinks about it in order to gage her feelings around CD. And of course be prepared for what she asks your thoughts. It could be the start of an important conversation.
- November 21, 2021 at 4:07 pm #578585Geraldine MacBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: July 11, 2021Topics: 7Replies: 52Has thanked: 141 timesBeen thanked: 240 times
Andi – reminds me of a conversation I had last week with my unknowing SO. She suggested I was turning into a metrosexual because she has noticed I have started to shave my arms and use moisturiser! But the time is not yet right for me to come out – but I am hoping to build up to it in 2022 🙂 Zsazsa
- November 21, 2021 at 4:06 pm #578584Juliette ParfoisLadyRegistered On: February 12, 2018Topics: 6Replies: 23Has thanked: 21 timesBeen thanked: 80 times
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- November 21, 2021 at 9:52 am #578470Liara WolfeLadyRegistered On: August 14, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 1607Has thanked: 3155 timesBeen thanked: 5436 times
- November 21, 2021 at 9:37 am #578466Michelle McQueenLadyRegistered On: June 14, 2021Topics: 28Replies: 1527Has thanked: 10025 timesBeen thanked: 7504 times
You will never know until you have that conversation. I think our SO’s suspect more than we know. You can always drop hints and see how she reacts before going for the whole revelation. You may be wasting time you could be making a wardrobe.
- November 21, 2021 at 9:27 am #578459AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
sometimes ” in the moment “…
people speak their true feelings…can you really be sure she was just joking???…does she not suspect anything that a drab male can co ordinate her wardrobe so well……
…do you secretly long that she does wonder??….mmmm.
Huggs, grace x
- November 21, 2021 at 9:32 am #578463LadyRegistered On: January 7, 2021Topics: 8Replies: 122Has thanked: 213 timesBeen thanked: 591 times
I have no idea what she suspects, imagines or thinks she knows! For the longest time I have also been painting her nails and thinks I am as good at it as I am because I am just a perfectionist!
I would love for it to be out in the open but until I am confident that revealing it isn’t going to require a divorce lawyer I think I will bide my time!
- November 21, 2021 at 12:05 pm #578514AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- November 21, 2021 at 10:40 am #578485Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 39Replies: 1545Has thanked: 5095 timesBeen thanked: 7593 times
- November 21, 2021 at 9:43 am #578467AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Oh gosh Andi….please don’t think I’m pushy…you know her!!…
and as Chris de burgh sang…timing is EVERYTHING…
Most women are just so amazingly ” switched on “….I just wondered if she wondered why you were so ” female sensitive “….I so hope you get there in the end xx
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