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Just over 10 years ago, my wife told me she was fine with my desire to wear women’s underwear (except when we were going to be intimate). Her one rule is fine with me. I had already confided in her that I always felt like I was a lesbian in a male body so the panty question was no big surprise to her.
I am fortunate to have never suffered any anxiety about my genetic shortcomings. Sure, I fantasized about being a woman and would loved to have gone further than undergarments. But luckily it didn’t cause me any stress. She has long since become desensitized to my thongs and panties and my collection is much larger and stylish than hers.
My daughter came out as a lesbian a few years ago and, to no surprise, my wife has been very supportive of her. My daughter came out when she was only 11yo and admitted to feeling that way for many years. Her courage to openly be who she really is inspired me to embrace who I really am on the inside. I confided in her and told her how much she inspired me and came out to her that I had been dabbling in CDing for a while and wanted to take it further. I asked her if it would make her uncomfortable seeing me en femme and, being who she is, she has no problem with it as long as I don’t dress to revealing.
So, this morning I told my wife about the conversation with my daughter to open the dialogue with her. I was so relieved that she said she has no problem with me doing it around the house. She admitted that she wouldn’t want me to be en femme with her in public (we live in a very conservative area). I told her that I don’t have the makeup skills, the walk, or the voice to be confident that I would pass anyway. The exceptions are going to cosplay conventions with my daughter, Pride Fest, and Halloween. She was fine with that too. I told her that someday, if I felt confident enough that I could pass, I would like to go en femme in an everyday type situation. If I ever feel confident enough, she will probably be desensitized to me being Mika by then and we will cross that bridge together as it comes. But, for now, she is completely supportive of everything that I currently feel comfortable doing on this journey and I am lucky to have her. Communication is a key to success in any relationship.
Thank you to everyone here at CDH for your encouragement, information, and being inspirational examples. Now we just need to get rid of this damn COVID thing so we can have Pride Fest and cosplay conventions again.
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