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I was reading an article on a different site about things that might ‘out’ you in public (even though I am miles from going outside, it doesn’t hurt to read about it lol) It got me thinking though about CD and ADHD. A few of the giveaways were cited as nail biting, leg bouncing/foot tapping and not making much eye contact – all things that I do and are very common for people with ADHD.
I have started meds for it and have a great therapist, but it certainly adds an extra layer to being a CD. One bonus of ADHD though, is you can become hyperfocused on things. It means in a short space of time I have done a lot of reading on CD, and watched a lot of videos etc.
We’re only roughly 5% of the population, but I have a feeling we are probably over represented in this community.
Marissa x
Hi Marissa, If the topic interest me my ADHD is so helpful. If not, then I’m a ship adrift at sea. Its given me the gift of being able to learn anything quickly. The con I become very bored easily.
My adhd has negatively affected every romantic relationship I’ve had. What I hear most often is I’m not present. My response is always the same. Why are they trying to figure out what’s in my head?
In my experience, when I figure something out, its on to the next thing. With being CD, It has quieted my head tremendously. My pace is slower and more deliberate. It’s been the biggest postitive with dealing with my ADHD.
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I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2018 at 59 years of age (I scored a 28 of 30 on a diagnostic tool where anything over 20 was considered “high”). I do have the foot tapping and fidgeting behaviors, but crossing my legs like a lady controls the foot tapping and folding my arms across my chest helps self-soothe and reduce fidgeting.
The ADHD diagnosis explained a lot for me – why I had to work so hard to be successful in my career, and why dressing is such a release – I don’t have to concentrate all of my energies on it, I can just be Jackie.
💋Jackie💋
ADHD has been a part of my family traits for several generations along with being Intersex and being on the mildly autistic scale also. I have participated in studies regarding all this. We have been great inventors, creators, artists, problem solvers etc. but also tragic in our relationships. I taught our children to understand that we speak and live a life and language unlike 98% of the world and that if they wished to survive and thrive in the (so called) normal world that they needed to learn that language and those habits. It is like being isolated in a french speaking country and only speaking english. So to avoid being ostracized and ignored, you must learn french also. When people speak to me, I see cartoons floating down from the sky pertaining to the things that they are saying. Their words become a 3D animation. Also, in many cases I am lightyears ahead of them in my thoughts as they speak and then get bored because it’s taking so long to say what I already know. I am super hypersensitive to any stimuli and can detect a dripping faucet 3 rooms away from me or can tell if you changed detergent or deodorant. I love the Las Vegas Strip because I can actually feel the electromagnetic pulse (I call it neon bathing). I don’t stim (finger tap, hum etc.) but have learned how to look people in the eye without overpowering my mind. I do dance and talk with my hands. I’m always in motion. My sensory life is like being in a room with 25 televisions all turned on at the same time to different stations and set at loud volumes. I had to learn to cancel out all the background noise and colors in order to concentrate. I can now will myself to fall asleep in 45 seconds. When I was a child I was considered weird and had few friends (again the two different languages theme). I couldn’t understand why they didn’t get me and I didn’t get them. After a particularly devastating divorce I spent 10 years in therapy with an absolutely wonderful psychologist who helped to explain my differences and to learn to live in the neurotypical (the normals?) world. She explained it to me, and here is her short version. In prehistoric time nature favored an individual that could detect the slightest variations in conditions. This would allow for more successful hunts (could smell or hear the game or enemy better etc.) and provide greater protection and survival. In modern times these gene structures have not been as prevalent and now makes up less than 2% of the population. The other 98% think as a group in patterns that are quite different. Anyway that explanation made sense to me as to why I was different. Maybe it’s somewhat like left handedness vs right handedness. They both function, just differently. I don’t take any medications to manage all this but some of my family members do. I joined CDH and TGH to share what I know and hopefully help others and so I share this information with you. For most of my life I would just stealth out and mix in with the normals and try not to be detected since it weirds people and has usually resulted in unfavorable backlash and isolation. Knowing what I know now, I find my life to be happy and rewarding. I understand and celebrate all my diversity and usually blend in.
Thank you Marissa for this thoughtful forum topic and also thank you Jocelyn for your excellent additions.
Safe Journey, Marg
Yes finally diagnosed in my mid 30’s.
Spent the prior years creating ways to mitigate and hide it. Many of those methods such as cheating in school have taken their toll on my self-confidence and self-esteem. I often feel that my crossdressing is related in some way. Like it’s an escape from the noise of my head.
I do take Adderall and it does help. However, I will mention that it has a plateau effect. Meaning that a measured dose is only effective for a finite amount of time. Eventually you will need a higher dose to get the same effect. In the 10 years I’ve been on it I have only allowed myself to go up twice. Each time by 5mg. It also dulls my personality. But if it allows me to remember to pick the kids up from school I guess that’s the benefit. 😉
Oh yeah! This is just too funny, almost too weird, LOL. I’ve known I was supposed to be a girl from a very young age. How does that relate me with ADHD? Both of my kids were diagnosed as having ADHD, and, they said, it is usually passed down through the paternal line; so suddenly all eyes were on me! Everything that Marg said applies to me! I fidgit, I dance, I fiddle with things, I will sit at a meeting and count how many light bulbs there are, my brain is always going a million miles per hour and on multiple trains of thought which causes me to often interrupt people or else the train of thought has moved to another track! I am ultra sensitive and can pick up energy, my sense of hearing is over developed, when my hearing is tested I hear things at both ends of the spectrum that most people don’t, if there’s a faucet dripping somewhere in the house I will hear it. I was a problem child in school, I was also labeled as being weird and was very effeminate by nature. Lots of letters going home from teachers. I also talk with my hands, which works very well now that I live as a trans woman. I’ve never, until now, heard there was this much connection to being a crossdresser or transgender and also ADHD.
Thanks Marg, hugs,
Lauren M
Oh Lauren, Are we twins separated at birth? If so, it’s probably because we wouldn’t sit still and stop touching everything! LOL. And yup, I was a problem child in school too. It was only after I learned the rules of the neurotypical (the NT’s) world that I excelled and became the darling “wiz kid”. In fact my work nick-name was the “Idea Machine” and I made a very good living and usually had lots of fun solving problems. And, what was really special was that they paid me money to have all that fun. So, there can be a silver lining to our way of thinking.
Happy Divergence to All, Marg
I’ve been ADD or whatever it’s called now for my whole life. I’ve been on meds for about 12 years? Even with that, I’m very audio challenged – when i’m in a crowded area i hear everything around me and i have an incredibly hard time focusing on what’s right in front of me. i typically shut down and people think i don’t want to talk or interact when it’s just the opposite! i also feel like i’m on the Autism spectrum as well. Like the church lady said, “well now, isn’t that special!” LOL
The cacophony of noisy places plus adding in stress (being late, can’t finding where to go, or trying to make a decision) shuts me down frequently. My wife and I have a signal for when that happens and we will silently move out of the rush so I can calm down or she will allow me to excuse myself while she handles things. She prefers this over me just telling everyone “this way!!!” as I march us off making decisions for everyone on the fly.🤣
I have yet to experience this while being Darcy.
I agree! This is why I try to explain to p3eople on why I’m transitioning – I’ll be a better person to be around, overall. I feel so much more at ease as a woman. When presenting as a guy, I’m antsy and agitated internally and it comes out in embarrassing and volitile ways. It’s exhausting trying to be what everyone else thinks you should be!!
Deep down I’ve alwayws known I was playing a part that I wasn’t suited for. I wonder if all ADD experiences are similar – not about a gender thing, but not feeling suited to the life you are experiencing?
Hugs,
Brie
Hi ladies Riley here,
I too am ADHD and OCD and I believe Im Autistic. My wife has said this for years. Its a damn curse. It took me years and years to figure it out. I then went to my Dr and asked to be evaluated. Sure as heck she confirmed it.
I always wondered why I had a hard time focusing and completing projects. I could have a dozen projects going at once and manage them all to the last detail.
I also had the nervous energy foot tapping thingy. The music in my head never shuts off. I over think every last detail.
Things have to be put away where they belong and Im SUPER organized. Attention to detail is paramount.
I could go on and on. Its exhausting. Ive worn panties and loved dressing since I was about 12.Never could explain it but I get along better with girls then guys. Womens clothes are so fun! The styles, shoes, and the bright colors!! I cant explain why but Im so much more at ease when Im Riley.
Maybe its a mental and physical escape. Somewhere I can go to get away from “me” and get away from reality for a while.
My wife is understanding and has bought me cute things over the years.
She doesnt mind me dressing and I usually do it almost every morning until I leave for work. Sometimes Ill dress in the evening either a cute jammie set or a simple outfit. Full dress up date nites are for weekends.
Weve been out to places dressed and it was quite fun.
I think that for us ” cursed ones” ( ADHD/OCD) part of the dressing experience is the thrill of being “bad” and the perceived danger involved.
All that being said I love being Riley and all things pretty and girly.
Sex? Well theres a whole nother Pandoras Box that we wont open lmao.
Id love to here from other girls. Feel free to message anytime.
Love you all and thank you for being there for each other.
Riley 💋
Holy cow things here struck a cord with me. I was diagnosed around 11 with ADHD but stopped Ritalin shortly after cause I was a zombie. Just awful. I often feel like I may have some of the other conditions you all have mentioned but I don’t feel like diagnosis would change anything.
I’m usually a tactile dresser. I like soft and tight clothes. Even better if it’s both lol. My wife doesn’t quite get it but it definitely creates (for lack of a better word) a feeling of security when things are tight fitting.
Definitely nice to see that others feel similarly to the way I do.
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