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Hi all, I’m chloe, I’m very new to this site. I’m just writing this today to ask if anyone has any tips for going out in public? I’ve been out dressed up once but I’m still very scared of it. All I did was go walk around town and it was the scariest experience I’ve ever had in my life. I’m just wondering if anyone has any tips or advice that would make it easier and less horrifying.
Agree with the safety points. Stay in well lit areas with lots of people. There’s such a thing as anonymity and safety in a crowd. Make yourself a small list of little simple things to do out, like stop and buy gas, then go in and get something, anything. Stop in at a pharmacy and just get something simple that will allow a minor interaction, or if that’s too much then just browse and leave. Or make out a route to take that will pass by something to challenge you, or so that it doesn’t do that. Find what will make you comfortable ebony to want to go again.
Bridgette
Just be your self and don’t be really nervous know sometimes impossible to do. But like others said go for little drive stop at a park or somewhere. get some gas go into a store maybe when less crowd at first. Then when get comfortable go into a store when little more there. If by self try to wear something that will not bring alot attention or looks little flirty. Another is at home just go out walk around the yard on down the driveway.
Hugs
Donna
PS before know it be doing things and not even thinking about being dressed. Come natural.
Hi Chloe, and welcome to CDH.
Some tips…
First thing to ask yourself: “Can I handle the idea of being recognized?” If you cannot, then my suggestion would be for you to drive to a nearby town/city, and try it there. Being “read” is no big deal. Being recognized can have the potential to mess your life up.
Then a rather contradictory advice: Forget about the idea of “passing”. Nobody passes at 100%. Operate under the idea that people knows… and that is not a bad thing. Because even better than “passing” you can instead be accepted.
Don’t go anywhere you wouldn’t want your wife/daughter/mom to go by themselves.
Go to the place you will try to go out to, and pay attention to how women dress at that place. Try to dress similarly to them.
IT is highly unlikely you can be detained just for being out dressed up as a woman. But if you are seen loitering nearby an play area for little kids, or if you go to a park at night, people may wonder about you.
Ok, enough for now… be safe!!
Gabriela
Hello Chloe..
Most of its been said…good advice as usual from the girls…
Just be calm, deep breaths, don’t think everybody is looking at you, your just a girl about town…
Don’t rush, measured steps, obviously you need to be alert, but definitely don’t keep looking everywhere nervously….just do YOUR thing…..
good luck….
Grace x
Hi Chloe, build up your confidence by going in our word but not obviously feminine items, like boots, jeans, jumpers, socks ect. you can also use these days to practice your walk on rougher outside paths.
Wear what the woman where you planning the go wear, if you want to blend in. I know we all love skirts and dresses, but unless it’s high summer woman don’t wear them often.
Like others have said, the importance of this one cannot be underestimated. Look confident. Chin up, it helps with balance and smile.
I also agree with Gabriela, presume people can see though the illusion and you don’t care. If it helps go somewhere where people don’t know you.
With repetition it gets easier.
Love Trisha
I’ve been going out dressed since 17. That first time was so scary but one of the most exciting things I ever did. Then I kept going, getting bolder and bolder and doing more and more. Each time was scary and still is, but the excitement, thrill and rush is like nothing else. That’s why I keep doing it.
Just be yourself,blend in if possible? Like if your going to the supermarket dont wear 9in heels and a mini skirt that barely covers the tops of your stockings? It gets cold opening freezers so dress appropriately or what you feel is appropriate. Act natural and blend in and smile 😃
Hope they are good tips as i nearly made the mistake of wearing thigh high boots to supermarket once xx
Hi Chloe,
I hear most of us start by going out at night or to spots with little to no people. To me if you want to go unnoticed, go to popular places with many people and good lighting. No one is going to make a fuss in a public setting.
My first time out Fully dressed was to a shopping mall, and to a fashion store, just after dinner.
I started out with just a little makeup out to dinner, then added heels to dinner. Once I had my wig, and brests, I was fully dressed walking through a mall shopping. Purchased a purse, a top and a skirt from 3 different shops.
If my wife was comfortable I would go shopping with her and try on things with her. Alas she is not so that dream will have to Waite
Have fun be safe, and explore public places.
Paula
There has been a lot of good advice shared already. Basically I am rather fearless about being out dressed but yesterday I was at a local mall where I really wanted to go to one particular shop. I had no problem going into the mall and walking around. But for some reason I completely flunked about going into the store, I did go into several other stores. It wasn’t crowded or anything but I just couldn’t go in. I guess it is like they say “it happens”. Maybe next time. Don’t let things throw you and keep upping your comfort level while out it really glorious out there!
LeslieTip #1: If others have a problem, it’s their problem, not yours.
Tip #2: Set some goals and fulfil them. E.g. Buy some tissues from a convenience store. You’re likely to get a whole load of thoughts about what others might think – but remember tip #1.
Tip 3: Smile and enjoy yourself. This is what is known as a positive feedback loop. As you smile you enjoy yourself more. As you enjoy yourself more, you smile more.
Tip 4: Don’t worry too much about feminising your voice, but do talk to people with eye contact, the smile, and a friendly quip or two. Conversation becomes a real pleasure – and it’s interesting to see people who are a bit overwhelmed by you vs people who are downright curious and want to chat!
Tip 5: Before you go out, check details – look the best you can at that moment. Is your makeup neat? Will your dress billow up in the wind? If you bend over, what can be seen? Jewellery? Nails? Do your shoes and handbag match your outfit? Is there fluff or dirt on your coat? Feel confident! Freshen your breath, use deodorant, maybe a little spritz.
Tip 6: Enjoy every little thing about your outing. If your mind plays tricks on you, remember tip #1. It is nobody’s business but your own how you decide to present yourself. You are being yourself, not somebody else’s idea of who or what you ought to be.
Tip #7: If/when you get the feeling of chickening out, just think how disappointed you will feel about yourself by not going through with it, vs how happy you will feel by doing it. This stick/carrot combination has served me very well, and led to actual improvements in my own self confidence in many areas of life.
And that’s all there is to it 😘
Love Laura
Hi Chloe!
Lovely name!
Some great advice already, and remember that most people are too wrapped up in themselves or their smartphone to notice you, except for adolescent boys showing off and hassling you and little kids (best avoided).
On the walk, a detective I know said he always knows if he is following a man or a woman by their footprints, and no not because of the stiletto heels! Men leave footprints in two rows, like a railway line. Women leave a single line or close to it, they walk heel to toe. They also tend to plant their toes or a flat foot whereas men tend to put the heel down first. Doing heel to toe naturally gives your hips a slight swing as you walk, and remember chin up, shoulders back and chest out as they used to say.
On hands, if you look women usually bunch their fingers slightly to form a smaller hand. Men don’t, their hands are big, meaty things. Women often walk with one arm slightly lifted at their side (holding their handbag for instance) and what arm swing there is diagonal. Men swing arms like gorillas back and forth.
And the biggest thing is women SMILE when they walk, men don’t!
Go and enjoy it!
Hope that helps!
S
Hi Chloe. Congrats on that first excursion outside. Not a lot that I can add really.
There are a few things you can do between outings though. Watch, watch, and watch some more during times you are out but drab. Don’t ogle and stare, but see how GG’s do things: sitting, walking, eating, etc.
Go someplace in drab that you would like to go to as Chloe and check it out. Look for the bathrooms esp., exits in case you need them, good places to park etc. Go at times similar to when you are planning your outing.
Be aware of your surroundings and be careful, but above all else, relax and enjoy yourself.
PaulaF
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