- April 28, 2021 at 5:39 pm #485203Chloe RoseParticipantRegistered On: April 29, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 4Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 67 times
Hi all, I’m chloe, I’m very new to this site. I’m just writing this today to ask if anyone has any tips for going out in public? I’ve been out dressed up once but I’m still very scared of it. All I did was go walk around town and it was the scariest experience I’ve ever had in my life. I’m just wondering if anyone has any tips or advice that would make it easier and less horrifying.
Total of 21 users thanked author for this post. Here are last 20 listed.
- May 2, 2021 at 3:58 am #486630Paula FDuchessRegistered On: August 7, 2019Topics: 14Replies: 1075Has thanked: 14513 timesBeen thanked: 4268 times
Hi Chloe. Congrats on that first excursion outside. Not a lot that I can add really.
There are a few things you can do between outings though. Watch, watch, and watch some more during times you are out but drab. Don’t ogle and stare, but see how GG’s do things: sitting, walking, eating, etc.
Go someplace in drab that you would like to go to as Chloe and check it out. Look for the bathrooms esp., exits in case you need them, good places to park etc. Go at times similar to when you are planning your outing.
Be aware of your surroundings and be careful, but above all else, relax and enjoy yourself.
- May 2, 2021 at 2:18 am #486612Diane RakersLadyRegistered On: August 18, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 676Has thanked: 1189 timesBeen thanked: 2194 times
Hey Chloe, you’ve already done it!
You could advise most of us.
Maybe shorten the time out.
- May 2, 2021 at 2:16 am #486611Simone CLadyRegistered On: January 23, 2019Topics: 7Replies: 173Has thanked: 57 timesBeen thanked: 645 times
Some great advice already, and remember that most people are too wrapped up in themselves or their smartphone to notice you, except for adolescent boys showing off and hassling you and little kids (best avoided).
On the walk, a detective I know said he always knows if he is following a man or a woman by their footprints, and no not because of the stiletto heels! Men leave footprints in two rows, like a railway line. Women leave a single line or close to it, they walk heel to toe. They also tend to plant their toes or a flat foot whereas men tend to put the heel down first. Doing heel to toe naturally gives your hips a slight swing as you walk, and remember chin up, shoulders back and chest out as they used to say.
On hands, if you look women usually bunch their fingers slightly to form a smaller hand. Men don’t, their hands are big, meaty things. Women often walk with one arm slightly lifted at their side (holding their handbag for instance) and what arm swing there is diagonal. Men swing arms like gorillas back and forth.
And the biggest thing is women SMILE when they walk, men don’t!
Go and enjoy it!
Hope that helps!
- May 1, 2021 at 1:08 pm #486402Laura LovettLadyRegistered On: March 26, 2020Topics: 13Replies: 1115Has thanked: 3649 timesBeen thanked: 5368 times
Tip #1: If others have a problem, it’s their problem, not yours.
Tip #2: Set some goals and fulfil them. E.g. Buy some tissues from a convenience store. You’re likely to get a whole load of thoughts about what others might think – but remember tip #1.
Tip 3: Smile and enjoy yourself. This is what is known as a positive feedback loop. As you smile you enjoy yourself more. As you enjoy yourself more, you smile more.
Tip 4: Don’t worry too much about feminising your voice, but do talk to people with eye contact, the smile, and a friendly quip or two. Conversation becomes a real pleasure – and it’s interesting to see people who are a bit overwhelmed by you vs people who are downright curious and want to chat!
Tip 5: Before you go out, check details – look the best you can at that moment. Is your makeup neat? Will your dress billow up in the wind? If you bend over, what can be seen? Jewellery? Nails? Do your shoes and handbag match your outfit? Is there fluff or dirt on your coat? Feel confident! Freshen your breath, use deodorant, maybe a little spritz.
Tip 6: Enjoy every little thing about your outing. If your mind plays tricks on you, remember tip #1. It is nobody’s business but your own how you decide to present yourself. You are being yourself, not somebody else’s idea of who or what you ought to be.
Tip #7: If/when you get the feeling of chickening out, just think how disappointed you will feel about yourself by not going through with it, vs how happy you will feel by doing it. This stick/carrot combination has served me very well, and led to actual improvements in my own self confidence in many areas of life.
And that’s all there is to it 😘
- April 29, 2021 at 2:24 pm #485580LeslieLadyRegistered On: September 14, 2020Topics: 17Replies: 192Has thanked: 1589 timesBeen thanked: 869 times
There has been a lot of good advice shared already. Basically I am rather fearless about being out dressed but yesterday I was at a local mall where I really wanted to go to one particular shop. I had no problem going into the mall and walking around. But for some reason I completely flunked about going into the store, I did go into several other stores. It wasn’t crowded or anything but I just couldn’t go in. I guess it is like they say “it happens”. Maybe next time. Don’t let things throw you and keep upping your comfort level while out it really glorious out there!
- April 29, 2021 at 1:51 pm #485568Paula HereLadyRegistered On: April 13, 2020Topics: 5Replies: 87Has thanked: 342 timesBeen thanked: 406 times
I hear most of us start by going out at night or to spots with little to no people. To me if you want to go unnoticed, go to popular places with many people and good lighting. No one is going to make a fuss in a public setting.
My first time out Fully dressed was to a shopping mall, and to a fashion store, just after dinner.
I started out with just a little makeup out to dinner, then added heels to dinner. Once I had my wig, and brests, I was fully dressed walking through a mall shopping. Purchased a purse, a top and a skirt from 3 different shops.
If my wife was comfortable I would go shopping with her and try on things with her. Alas she is not so that dream will have to Waite
Have fun be safe, and explore public places.
- April 29, 2021 at 7:34 am #485378Jin CrockerLadyRegistered On: November 15, 2019Topics: 4Replies: 337Has thanked: 27 timesBeen thanked: 934 times
Confidence comes with practice. Dress modestly at first. Interact with a barista, they tend to be more accepting of the individual difference between people. Avoid “Pick Up” bars. Try grocery stores, book stores, casual eateries.
Smile and have fun!
- April 29, 2021 at 7:07 am #485360Krissy RichardsLadyRegistered On: June 11, 2020Topics: 2Replies: 312Has thanked: 785 timesBeen thanked: 960 times
Just be yourself,blend in if possible? Like if your going to the supermarket dont wear 9in heels and a mini skirt that barely covers the tops of your stockings? It gets cold opening freezers so dress appropriately or what you feel is appropriate. Act natural and blend in and smile 😃
- April 29, 2021 at 6:28 am #485354stephanie plumbBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: November 17, 2018Topics: 152Replies: 2065Has thanked: 3297 timesBeen thanked: 9585 times
People are really not interested in you – unless you are doing something to attract their attention – like wearing a Tutu and wellington boots! Or dancing a Jig. Or stomping around like a guy! Or doing a “Dolly Parton” by wearing HH forms and a low-cut top!
You are not the centre of the Universe. There is no neon sign above your head flashing “man in a dress” (although that’s how it feels). People see what they expect to see, so if you are dressed and behaving as a woman you will be below their radar. A glance shows them you are female. Box ticked, they get on with whatever is preoccupying them at the moment. You have been accepted as female! The emphasis is now on you to not mess it up! Go serenely about your business as they are going about theirs. Don’t flash your tits at them!
So you are dressed fully en-femme, from head to toe, and maybe wearing basic makeup and femme props like lipstick. Anything else you can add, such as false eyelashes, enhanced eyebrows, necklaces, ear rings, bangles, a purse, headband, sunglasses …. anything at all… adds to your confidence level. Especially good are femme oversized sunglasses – I guess its a kind of disguise, and it really does work! Face-framing wigs, or wigs with bangs, cover a lot of your face – again its a “hiding” tactic and confidence boost. Carry a shoulder bag. A hat maybe. I have found that even applying some foundation makeup makes me feel more confident, even though it can’t be seen! Its all to do with self-perception .. if you know you look good you will feel good and your confidence will be higher.
I’m not a vain girl, but I do take with me a compact mirror and occasionally check myself out – the positive feedback and reassurance this gives me is an enormous confidence booster. And I can see if an eyelash has gone rogue!
Own the space you are in… walk confidently, head up, don’t avoid eye contact or act furtively in any way no matter how scared you are. Give people space but in a subtle way …. its easy now with social distancing… people expect it.
Most importantly – SMILE. As soon as you are approaching someone put on your best smile. It is an instant face-lift and gives you the appearance of being friendly and approachable. And ENJOY being the woman you appear to be – it radiates confidence.
I have found that at 20 metres people can’t tell you are not female as long as you are acting female.
At first being very nervous is normal. I am a bag of nerves for the first 5 minutes, so I avoid people until I have settled down and my confidence has risen. After 10 minutes I am relaxed enough to start enjoying myself. After an hour my bravado has reached its peak – I don’t care any more if I am outed – and I go where I wish and ignore those around me. But beware! Overconfidence can lead to taking risks! (I know, I have sometimes done things I really shouldn’t have.)
I go out frequently – but only in the great outdoors, like public parks and leisure areas. With lots of open space its easy to avoid close contact, and bushes etc. can be used as screens. I am still not confident enough to enter a building … too much close contact probable. But I’m working on it.
Be alert and be safe
- April 29, 2021 at 10:51 am #485477
- April 29, 2021 at 9:56 am #485453Chloe RoseLadyRegistered On: April 29, 2021Topics: 3Replies: 4Has thanked: 6 timesBeen thanked: 67 times
Thank you so much ! I’ll try to keep in mind those tips and tricks that you’ve talked about. From what I’ve gathered mainly I just need to be more confident with myself and try to blend in. Thanks again 🙂
- April 29, 2021 at 3:05 am #485311Patty PhoseDuchessRegistered On: May 7, 2016Topics: 0Replies: 1607Has thanked: 1202 timesBeen thanked: 4325 times
I’ve been going out dressed since 17. That first time was so scary but one of the most exciting things I ever did. Then I kept going, getting bolder and bolder and doing more and more. Each time was scary and still is, but the excitement, thrill and rush is like nothing else. That’s why I keep doing it.
- April 29, 2021 at 2:10 am #485306Trisha Lilly HibbertBaronessRegistered On: December 8, 2020Topics: 35Replies: 658Has thanked: 3110 timesBeen thanked: 2441 times
Hi Chloe, build up your confidence by going in our word but not obviously feminine items, like boots, jeans, jumpers, socks ect. you can also use these days to practice your walk on rougher outside paths.
Wear what the woman where you planning the go wear, if you want to blend in. I know we all love skirts and dresses, but unless it’s high summer woman don’t wear them often.
Like others have said, the importance of this one cannot be underestimated. Look confident. Chin up, it helps with balance and smile.
I also agree with Gabriela, presume people can see though the illusion and you don’t care. If it helps go somewhere where people don’t know you.
With repetition it gets easier.
- April 29, 2021 at 12:34 am #485297Grace ScarlettBaroness - AnnualRegistered On: February 16, 2021Topics: 65Replies: 1350Has thanked: 4825 timesBeen thanked: 7405 times
Most of its been said…good advice as usual from the girls…
Just be calm, deep breaths, don’t think everybody is looking at you, your just a girl about town…
Don’t rush, measured steps, obviously you need to be alert, but definitely don’t keep looking everywhere nervously….just do YOUR thing…..
- April 28, 2021 at 8:30 pm #485267Gabriela RomaniManaging AmbassadorRegistered On: January 11, 2021Topics: 84Replies: 166Has thanked: 125 timesBeen thanked: 795 times
Hi Chloe, and welcome to CDH.
First thing to ask yourself: “Can I handle the idea of being recognized?” If you cannot, then my suggestion would be for you to drive to a nearby town/city, and try it there. Being “read” is no big deal. Being recognized can have the potential to mess your life up.
Then a rather contradictory advice: Forget about the idea of “passing”. Nobody passes at 100%. Operate under the idea that people knows… and that is not a bad thing. Because even better than “passing” you can instead be accepted.
Don’t go anywhere you wouldn’t want your wife/daughter/mom to go by themselves.
Go to the place you will try to go out to, and pay attention to how women dress at that place. Try to dress similarly to them.
IT is highly unlikely you can be detained just for being out dressed up as a woman. But if you are seen loitering nearby an play area for little kids, or if you go to a park at night, people may wonder about you.
Ok, enough for now… be safe!!
- April 28, 2021 at 7:58 pm #485265DonnaLadyRegistered On: January 17, 2021Topics: 56Replies: 545Has thanked: 3875 timesBeen thanked: 2177 times
Just be your self and don’t be really nervous know sometimes impossible to do. But like others said go for little drive stop at a park or somewhere. get some gas go into a store maybe when less crowd at first. Then when get comfortable go into a store when little more there. If by self try to wear something that will not bring alot attention or looks little flirty. Another is at home just go out walk around the yard on down the driveway.
PS before know it be doing things and not even thinking about being dressed. Come natural.
- April 28, 2021 at 6:59 pm #485232Bridgette VonSmirffLadyRegistered On: October 18, 2020Topics: 29Replies: 913Has thanked: 12873 timesBeen thanked: 3353 times
Agree with the safety points. Stay in well lit areas with lots of people. There’s such a thing as anonymity and safety in a crowd. Make yourself a small list of little simple things to do out, like stop and buy gas, then go in and get something, anything. Stop in at a pharmacy and just get something simple that will allow a minor interaction, or if that’s too much then just browse and leave. Or make out a route to take that will pass by something to challenge you, or so that it doesn’t do that. Find what will make you comfortable ebony to want to go again.
- April 28, 2021 at 6:56 pm #485228Paula HessLadyRegistered On: January 8, 2021Topics: 6Replies: 58Has thanked: 370 timesBeen thanked: 217 times
- April 28, 2021 at 5:47 pm #485206Robyn DrakeDuchessRegistered On: March 19, 2019Topics: 50Replies: 358Has thanked: 456 timesBeen thanked: 988 times
- April 28, 2021 at 6:02 pm #485211Eileen BachBaronessRegistered On: February 27, 2021Topics: 1Replies: 59Has thanked: 8 timesBeen thanked: 244 times
Look your very best, in time, you’ll look even better. Practice in discreet areas. Practice walking and moving in a feminine manner. Be aware of you’re surroundings for safety. Nervousness is a dead give away, look confidant even if you’re not.
Find a friend to be with, a gal pal is the best. Single women draw unwanted attention.
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