- September 24, 2023 at 7:41 pm #768472Kelly LeeParticipantRegistered On: February 26, 2018Topics: 48Replies: 547Has thanked: 706 timesBeen thanked: 2479 times
- September 30, 2023 at 6:08 am #769508Jane DonLadyRegistered On: March 4, 2020Topics: 3Replies: 153Has thanked: 42 timesBeen thanked: 535 times
What is it with folks want to use pronouns/names that average people don’t know or understand?
- September 26, 2023 at 3:51 pm #768860AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- September 26, 2023 at 3:11 pm #768859Cerys BurtonLadyRegistered On: February 2, 2021Topics: 104Replies: 375Has thanked: 267 timesBeen thanked: 3064 times
I’ve seen Xi/Xem (zee/zem) and I think it’s better than they/them. They and them are plural. A single person is not plural, no matter what their gender. I think Xi/Xem is a far better fit.
Obviously, if someone prefers they/them, I will use it….
As a point of interest, my friend makes pronoun badges for his fused glass business. I was talking to him a while back. I was in Cerys mode, and I mentions that I’d need a who/what badge…. Two weeks later, when I saw him again. He gave me a bespoke Who/What badge…. Everyone that sees it, loves it.I think there is a pic of me wearing it in my public photos.
- September 26, 2023 at 9:09 am #768766Dawn JudsonAmbassadorRegistered On: November 26, 2017Topics: 18Replies: 286Has thanked: 673 timesBeen thanked: 1421 times
We have a member named Xeri who pronounces it like Sherry.
- September 25, 2023 at 4:10 pm #768601DeeAnn HopingsDuchessRegistered On: November 10, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 1260Has thanked: 9 timesBeen thanked: 3615 times
Gender neutral pronouns:
The point to remember is that some people do not feel that they are male, female or some combination. They feel that gender neutral pronouns are appropriate and consistent with how they view themselves.
As always, we define ourselves. No one else has the right to define us.
- September 25, 2023 at 6:58 am #768513
- September 25, 2023 at 6:56 am #768511Darcy GrigsbyLadyRegistered On: July 1, 2020Topics: 42Replies: 266Has thanked: 82 timesBeen thanked: 1671 times
I think the made up pronouns are foolish. We already have enough trouble being tolerated much less accepted. I think this forced speech just acts to further turn people off from our existence.
When dressed I prefer female pronouns, but if someone messes up even intentionally I just ignore it as if it didn’t happen. For those where it is intentional it takes all wind out of their sails. And for those that just make a mistake it avoids an awkward situation.
In other words, why make the struggle harder?
- September 26, 2023 at 4:34 am #768692AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
Is it really that hard to try and treat others with respect? I feel that calling it foolish is a bit harsh. It implies that those who are sensitive to their gender status are simply being fools. I believe that they are being brave and strong and that their self awareness should be applauded.
Many of us crossdressers lament not being accepted. Persons with true gender incongruities have enough difficulty coming to terms with their identities. Going out of one’s way (sarcastic font) to use atypical pronouns, is a small price to pay to show a kindness to other fellow human beings who are different. It’s no different than trying to learn the pronunciation of a neighbor or even a stranger who has a name from another culture.
We need more people reaching out and embracing diversity, not fewer, to make the world a better place for everyone.
Just my personal opinion..
- September 29, 2023 at 4:00 am #769344Darcy GrigsbyLadyRegistered On: July 1, 2020Topics: 42Replies: 266Has thanked: 82 timesBeen thanked: 1671 times
I do not find it disrespectful in the slightest to refuse to play linguistic gymnastics.
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- September 30, 2023 at 9:47 am #769553Nikki Just NikkiLadyRegistered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
That’s just the thing: it isn’t about you. You might feel that misgendering someone isn’t disrespectful, but that won’t change the fact that is. Referring to someone using the wrong pronouns can make that person feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, dysphoric, or some combination of all of those things. But go ahead and justify the harm you do to others because YOU think it’s fine.
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- September 29, 2023 at 5:12 am #769347AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
I’m sorry you think of it as linguistic gymnastics. The old adage, “Sticks and stones…, but words will never harm me.” has been proven wrong. Some people may not be as strong as you, and ignoring this will not “toughen them up.”
Words and attitudes can cause lasting damage to others. Just think about a mother or father who constantly berates their children. Emotional and psychological damage can linger in those poor kids. We’ve all seen it.
I try to put myself in other’s shoes. And what harms others, hurts me. I guess I’m very sensitive to this in others.
Maybe I’m a dreamer, but my hope is that forced speech will become normal speech (it will probably take generations) and we can start to undo the damage, or at least not perpetuate hurtful behavior or the damage it causes. Plus, I don’t believe it hurts the stubborn ones who refuse to change, if all we’re asking is that they do not intentionally use their words to harm those who are more fragile, is that asking too much? Yes, people might slip up or forget the preferred pronoun of others. But that’s not the same thing.
It may be true that resistance might harm the cause at first. And maybe there is no hope for the human race. But I can do my part by listening to those who struggle and do my part to ease their suffering. After all if one is not part of the solution, one is part of the problem.
- October 1, 2023 at 1:05 pm #769773Leena MullerLadyRegistered On: February 19, 2022Topics: 6Replies: 72Has thanked: 223 timesBeen thanked: 308 times
I think that you mentioned what the issue is for people when you mentioned “forced speech”. People don’t want to be forced. Do you want a forced please or thank you? I would rather have an authentic address. I’m would guess that trans-folk don’t want to have to address biological women as “real women” because biological women are offended by the term “cis” and want to make their offense known. My eldest child is trans and we hear her perspective frequently. I agree with some of the things she says and disagree with others. I use female pronouns, by choice, with her but I know that she is a biological male. Some people will never make the choice that you want, but I believe it is wrong to force them to bend to your will because you “know” that you are right. You can’t force people to respect you. That’s my 2 cents and it means no more or less than anyone else’s.
- October 1, 2023 at 12:31 am #769676DeeAnn HopingsDuchessRegistered On: November 10, 2019Topics: 12Replies: 1260Has thanked: 9 timesBeen thanked: 3615 times
To illustrate how this works and how bad it can get…
It is not uncommon for trans people to avoid medical care due to bad experiences with medical personnel. For some, being the target of disrespectful behavior, misgendering, etc. can leave very deep wounds. We, inside of the community, should be aware of this and factor it into our behaviors.
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- September 26, 2023 at 5:37 am #768703HarrietteLadyRegistered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
You mixed up response names.
- September 26, 2023 at 8:54 am #768755AnonymousTopics: 0Replies: 0Has thanked: 0 timesBeen thanked: 0 times
- September 25, 2023 at 5:30 am #768501LadyRegistered On: September 29, 2022Topics: 10Replies: 261Has thanked: 1627 timesBeen thanked: 1650 times
I think these kinds of novel gender neutral pronouns are pretty niche. I work with more than a few transgender teens, and my nonbinary students all use they/them. I think it’s challenging enough to use gender neutral pronouns that people recognize. Having to educate every single person you meet on wholly new gender neutral pronouns sounds like a barrier to widespread adoption if you ask me, but if I meet someone whose preferred pronouns are xe/xem, I’ll do my best to respect that.
- September 24, 2023 at 9:33 pm #768481LadyRegistered On: April 22, 2023Topics: 16Replies: 982Has thanked: 3517 timesBeen thanked: 2408 times
I found this with a simple search.
“XE, XIR, XEM, XEIR
Xe and its variations are gender neutral pronouns that can be used to refer to people who are non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer, trans, and/or don’t identify with the gender binary. Other variations and tenses of these pronouns include xis, xyr, xyrself and xirself.”
- September 24, 2023 at 7:51 pm #768474Aurora Lynette EdenBaronessRegistered On: June 29, 2021Topics: 43Replies: 362Has thanked: 2044 timesBeen thanked: 1723 times
I don’t know much about that, but I believe that Xir stands on its own. To be honest, I don’t know what it means, apart from anyone going by They/Them will not be going by Xir.
As a matter of trivia, 谢谢 xièxiè pronounced ‘Sheer Sheer’, or ‘Shir Shir’ is Mandarin with the meaning of thank you.
I hope that is helpful, although, as I have said, I don’t know much about the subject.
- This reply was modified 2 months ago by Aurora Lynette Eden.
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