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Cynthia’s original post:
I began with furtive purchases at Goodwill and Walmart always while dressed as a male(as an aside, my first pair of heels twenty plus years ago was bought in early October and the sales clerk –seeing the size 11 pumps-asked me if I was accessorizing a costume. I mumbled yes and quickly left after paying for them. ) I have gotten an occasional comment from the cashier about what a good deal I was getting or how cute the outfit was but they didn’t seem to know it was for me )I do a lot of online shopping not so much because I fear shopping in person but because the selection is so much larger online especially given the size 16-18 dress size I need (darn it-wish I could get down to a size 10-12 or less so there would be cuter stuff available )) Only downside is the variation in size from one company to another. If it is too small I end up just donating it to goodwill as charity. Too bad we can’t setup some sort of clearinghouse that the ladies on the site could get these items from but not sure how that would work or where the stuff would be stored.I shop both and I love thrifting for outfits! Get some great buys on eBay as well.
It took a while, but I generally know my own sizing and eye well enough to be able to judge a purchase without trying anything on. Some cashiers and other customers figure out that I’m buying for myself. Had one woman in a thrift recently look at what I was hauling around with me make the comment that I had a great sense of style. I was most flattered! She had the look in her eyes that she knew it was for me.
One great story was an eBay purchase of some open toed Nine West floral flats. Seller and I got to chatting, I copped that they were for me, and it turns out that she sells often to us girls. Got the package and she had thrown in a lipstick and pair of fishnets with bows along with my purchase. 🙂
Hey Vickie,it is your god given right as a woman to go shopping,I go shopping all the time and yes I have ran int a couple of negative reactions.The strange part is it was from women not men.I had a girl tell me I couldn’t try on a skirt because it was a ladies skirt,to which I smart assed replied,well I looked around the men’s section and couldn’t find the men’s skirts so I came over here.She didn’t know what to say,got in a little huff and walked away.Yes girls I can be a sarchistic bitch when I feel like it.HAHA,LOL Heather.
Love it Heather! I’d never have thought it up so quickly though! I have no problem shopping for clothes for Cynthia while dressed as a male. Heck half the people at least figure you’re buying for a spouse or daughter, I haven”t had the courage yet to out dressed and interact with the world so I haven’t yet tried things on in a store but I do see that happening eventually.
Cynthia
I try to do most of my shopping in person..you really get a better look at the quality of an item when you can hold it in your hand and better yet…you can TRY before you BUY . I also LOVE thrift stores…I hit the Thrifts at least 3 times a week, and whats great…its soooooo cheap…just scored a 100 Dollar blazer I have been seeing on the fashion blogs for less than 10 bucks !!!!! Certain things I will buy online though if I have trouble finding them in stores.
hi girls 🙂 i started shopping online but always got inferior quality and didnt fit and unfortunately at the time gave up , well sort of , i have finally told ppl that are close to me , so lately i have been able to shop at the shops (as a male 🙁 ) i did go in shorts and some ppl laughed at my shaved legs but i just brushed it off , i had my fiance with me and i just kept walking proud , the freedom was fantabalisticexpielidoshius lol hope i spelt that right
hi cynthia i know what you mean when i and my girl are shopping i can see the smirks on the cashiers face when we walk into her aisle i see the looks i get from other ppl it does get to me sometimes but not for long because im much prouder than that 🙂
I have done both online and in store shopping. But I much prefer the store.
I have purchased 4 inch heels to bodystockings.
I have gone as a male,and a fem male. My favorite is going in pencil leggings (not the male running tights, but did that also).
I wander through both sex clothing and when I get to the women’s clothes, I ask an attendant for assistance to find the right article. After the assist, I often ask for the dressing room. They usually point me to the nearest one and say it is unisex (even though they stage something or someone in front of the ladies dressing room sign). No questions ask3d.After I try it on, I evaluate it and sometimes ask the attendant if it is my color.
Sometimes the attendant I asked will check me out.if not, I get the smirks…and found that humor works well by asking if it is my color.Claudia
Mostly online for me. It just a better selection and more convenient. I will occasionally go to Macy’s, Victoria’s Secret or MAC makeup store.
I go as a male but they sense why your there. I fessed up to The girl in Victoria’s two years ago and she was very supportive and gave me some great advice and a extra discount to boot. U fortunately she was in college and has since moved on
I shop both online and in person.I have a few online stores that have a nice selection for plus size women and I can shop without running into someone I may know. I am planning a trip to Dallas in the near future and I am definitely going to treat Caren well!
As far as shopping online, I am just starting to find out the best places to shop. Usually, I shop in stores and have seldom had my wife or anyone else along. If I am looking for something specific, I will ask and have never been denied. Every so often, shopping takes me to some goodwill stores and H
Have also had great success there , even though there were a few snickers at first.Like so many of you, I frequent Goodwill and similar thrift shops. Since I am a person of size the selection is not tremendous, but with a little digging and patience I usually find something nice. Dressing rooms in those places are usually not a challenge. If I am feeling shy I can always put a piece of male clothing on top of my other things. It’ silly, but sometimes it helps.
I will also shop online, but mostly if I know the quality and the sizing. For shoes I go to Payless – frequently to see what the shoe really looks like, and buy it if they have it, but if not go home and order it online. I have never had any problem at Payless – they must train their folks to be attentive and pleasant to everyone. At very worst I’ve gotten someone only concerned with getting me checked out and getting on to the next person in line.
Buying my first wig the lady in the store was wonderful. She said to me there was nothing to be embarrassed about – they sell wigs to all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons. If I wanted to buy a wig, she was ready to help me find the best one for me and she didn’t care if I was a man, a woman, or anything in-between. It was still nerve-wracking, but it was fun, too.
The only thing I haven’t has the courage to do yet is shop en femme. It’s hard enough going out for only little while at a time, much less having extended interactions. I don’t know why, entirely, since shopping for a dress or lingerie dressed in drab should be just as embarrassing, but for some reason it’s not.
All my shopping is in person, most has been in drab but the balance is swinging to femme. In drab, I have been invited to try things on in the change room and willingly accepted. I have been shopping with my wife and she has taken me into the change room to try things on but it is very hard to tell if the fit is right unless you are underdressed with bra and forms.
By far, the best time to try clothes on is when presenting as femme. It is the most natural thing, every woman does it and it saves you money by not purchasing items that just don’t fit or suit your shape. Since I discovered adhesive breast forms, I have been able to try on a bra before buying it and have saved myself from many an ill fitting purchase there too.
Retail therapy takes on a whole new meaning when you know that what you are buying, does fit.
Don’t forget there are shoes to try on too.
I purchase clothes both on-line and in person at local stores. I agree with previous comments that a friendly and understanding salesperson will win my repeat business, while an unfriendly attendant will likely lose my business forever.
One funny thing that happened a couple of years ago involved a brand name, women’s clothing, chain store in which I had purchased items on-line and in-person. Well, apparently if you ordered on-line, company associates then added your name and phone number to their customer call list to notify customers of upcoming sales. Since I always give commercial businesses my work phone number and never my home phone number, I received a call at work a couple of months later about an upcoming bra sale at the store! Well, I don’t know who was more surprised and initially embarrassed – me (for getting a totally unexpected call while I had female co-workers sitting in my office for a conference), or the sales associate (who was never expecting to hear a male voice answer the phone)! LOL! (I can laugh now; but I was pretty flustered at the time)! Very shortly thereafter, the company started using a robot/computer to make “robo-calls”, instead of live associates. I doubt that I had anything to do with that business decision; but you never know! LOL!
Tabitha B.
When I was married and my dressing had to be hidden I shopped online, eBay generally. The obvious problem with with buying online is trying to get the right size particularly considering fitting the male body shape into something fitted for a woman’s shape. The only way to ensure a good fit is to try it on and unfortunately that means going to a shop and asking.
In UK I can recommend the chain Phase Eight who are excellent and I have bought several dresses from them after trying them on in shop. They are considerate, sensitive and helpful. I am told Marks & Spencer’s are very understanding but I have never asked to try on anything in store.
On the other hand Karen Millen were ‘unwilling’ to allow me to be filmed trying on a dress in their store as it didn’t fit with their designer image brand 😲
My advice would be ….
1. Choose a store that sells clothes appropriate to your age.
2. Try to pick a quieter time to visit. There is nothing worst then fighting for a cubicle.
3. Maybe call them first and ask about trying on clothes….gauge their reaction. If they are okay get the name of the assistant you speak to.
4. Be confident when you visit. Smile.
5. If you are asked questions by the sales assistants, take the time to answer or explain.
Catie xx
I shop in stores in drab and have never experienced any issues. I have tried clothes on i the dressing room and even recently, had approximately 7-8 female garments in my cart though I did not buy ever item. But having trouble finding Size 11 shoes in stores is sometimes difficult, so I may begin exploring the idea of ordering shoes on line in order to get better selection.
Kelci
Been shopping online since I can find good deals, closeouts, my size dress and shoes. Then can search the Web for other things like rings, makeup, etc.
I do a little shopping on line, but prefer the experience of shopping in person. The last several years (ten or so) I’ve almost exclusively gone en femme. About twenty years ago I determined that I would never buy anything I didn’t first try on even in drab. I simply got tired of guessing the size and getting it home and finding out it just didn’t fit. My income didn’t allow me to waist money and taking things back to the store was even more excruciating than the original purchase.
To that end, I decided to hit a lot of store in drab and ask to try on. My goal was to amass a list of trans-friendly stores. to my surprise, the list of trans-unfriendly store in my area was so small that I could count them on one hand with fingers left over.
As an example; when I was working the maintenance department at a machine shop, I stopped by the mall on my way home, dressed in my work uniform and looking decidedly masculine. I need to pick up some tools at Sears and as is often my bent, I took a stroll through the women’s wear department and spotted a dress the I just fell in love with. I selected the largest on the rack and took it to the cash register and asked the clerk if there was somewhere I could try it on. She indicated the the fitting (ladies) rooms behind her and said I could go in there. A mainstream store and the clerk didn’t even bat an eye inviting an obvious male to use the ladies fitting rooms. I determined that with that, I could try on anywhere dress anyway I was.
Since then, I’ve almost exclusively gone to the mall en femme to shop and have never had a negative reaction.
The last time I was concerned about how I was received I was in J C Penney’s and need a rest room. The need was a bit urgent. (I should never have stopped at Dutch Brothers on the way.) I asked the clerk if there was a restroom in the store and she directed me to the women’s room in the Salon. I decided if she was OK with it, I was too. I simply walked into the salon, spotted the restroom, went in and took the first stall; did my business, wiped and quickly washed my hand and left. No one even looked up as went in or out, not even the lady washing her hand as I came in.
I shop predominately in stores, being a size 9 5 shoe, and a 10-12 for clothing I have a large selection of items to pick from. I have found JC Pennys & Kohls to e very helpful, trying items on and even getting a proper bra fitting. Macys has come around quite a bit in the last couple of years! Oh, and I mostly go shopping as Cookie/Jessica. Lots more fun that way.
JL
I shop when dressed and in normal male mode. When dressed use women’s change rooms, washrooms etc.In male mode I just take the article to the men’s change rooms. As for makeup I try the it in person whether dressed or in male mode, never had a problem. I shop at walmart, sears, goodwill,target,payless,the bay.My wigs I buy from the specialty wig store in person. My money is as good as anyone else’s and store clerks are trained in not to discriminate.Your only embarrassed if you let it get to you. Shop with confidence, walk straight and dress to blend in. Have fun
I nearly always do my shopping in person, both in male drab and as Sally although I do buy the occasional item online. I love browsing through the clothes on offer and always looking for a bargain. I do use both mainstream stores and also as we call them in England, charity shops. I don’t think twice about going into women’s fashion stores as a male and picking items. I also buy all my own makeup etc. I really don’t care what people think anymore. Even the local ASDA, Walmart to you in the US I do my normal shopping and don’t think twice about picking up some panties or tights and throwing them in with everything else in my basket. Most off the time the people on the checkout don’t care or notice so why should I be bothered. I’m planning a girlie shopping trip soon with my rock,Hayley and her daughter which should be fun, I’ll be going en femme of course xxxx
I usually go to store ask the sale clerk try to fit me for the dress, and they usually very nice didn’t ask much question?
I began with buying from the catalogs but now I shop in person fully dressed as a woman.The sales people relate better to me and its more fun this way,besides its easier to see if everything fits as it should.I just arrived home after shopping at Dressbarn ,dressed as a woman ,and I had a blast.Have fun ladies,nothing beats a well fitting dress and a great pair of heels.
I do mostly in stores.. For all kind of shopping… Shoes, lingerie, dresses… I am size 10-12 depending on brands and I always find a great choice… Shoes I fit size 41 or US 10 which again are always available in sale…!!! Lingerie, I go and pick up and often the salesgirl comes over to help thinking initially that I am buying for my wife/girl
After bit of talking, they do understand that it is probably for me and then they just once in a while comment on nice choice I have or if I shall try them as some items may not be accepted as returns (panties) or sale items.
I have always gone shopping as male except for once I went to a Sex toys shop en-femme in Hamburg. The experience was amazing. My voice did not match the outfit but the sales staff was not bothered with it. (S)he showed me around for few more items and then it was done like any normal shopping.
Most of my shopping is on line. However, at first I was unsure of sizes and found that items in charity shops were cheap enough to experiment with. I then used the fitting rooms for skirts and women’s slacks without problems. That gave me the confidence to choose sizes on line. The main problem is that my top half is size 18, and bottom half, size 14-16. This makes buying dresses difficult, so I settled on blouses and skirt/slacks. I have, but not recently, gone shopping in a lady’s blouse (with jumper) and slacks with nobody even noticing (as far as I know)
I do both. I began buying my own pantyhose at 13. I began wearing pantyhose out openly with shorts at 17. Even though men’s shorts were shorter back then, I wanted them a bit shorter so I began buying women’s Daisy Duke style shorts which I wore with tan sheer to waist pantyhose.
I began to shop for and buy pantyhose and more shorts dressed like that. At 18 I dressed fully fem for the first time for a college Halloween party. I had so much fun doing that. I met other dressers there and they invited me to other parties and gatherings they had.
I began to purchase a lot more clothes. Back them I was shopping and buying in various stores. There was on online stores. Now today if I see a clothing item I like a lot but it’s not in my size in the store, I’ll look online and buy it there. I found that to be real convenient especially with shoes.
My first time shopping was at a Soma store and after i had called in for an appointment. They were SO nice there,they didnt bat an eye when they measured me and i got quite a few pantys and bras there. With that being said, ive got my measurements, and am comfortable with ordering online from them. Ive bought only one outfit from walmart and ive got a few other things im just about ready to order online.
i do both but i love to shop in person i like to hit the sales racks at walmart there are several sales ladies who like to help with my shoping and nice.
I have purchased in stores and it’s been both exciting and terrifying. I had a little shopping trip today and bought a pair of pink heels and makeup. It went well and I enjoyed myself. The only thing that would have been better, would if I had been completely dressed enfemme. I agree that shopping online has more selection but can be an issue with sizing sometimes. Perhaps a swap and shop section in the forum as Skippy suggested would be a useful addition for members who have items they don’t need.
I’ve been buying my own pantyhose since I was 13. Then at 17, I thought women’s short shorts would look better with my pantyhose, so I bought some women’s shorts. At 18, when I began cross dressing seriously, I bought all my dresses, skirts, shoes, wigs, bras, panties, makeup and of course pantyhose in person. I never really was worried, concerned or stressed about what I was buying.
I prefer to shop in person because different brands fit differently so I never know how things are going to fit if I order them online. I am fulltime also and no one has ever refused me to try things on in the ladies try on room
I do most of my shopping in person I was looking for women’s boots today and the new shipments are ariveing more now each week the lady at store was so helpful when I told her I wanted them to wear with a dress or jeans and maybe a pair of tights.It is such a great feeling to be a woman.
I love to shop in person. It’s part of the excitiement-especially thinking the salesperson may suspect it’s for me.
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I have mostly bought my clothes and shoes online. I have had good luck with Macy’s all on discount.. (Don’t all ladies!). At Christmas, I buy for my wife and of course a few items for me. Also, I went to Victoria Secret to buy for my wife but I’m sure the salesgirl was curious when I bought some lingerie in two different sizes😉. My best experience happened when my wife and I went shopping and she picked out MY panties, cami’s, and stockings!!</p>
<p style=”text-align: left;”></p>My first time, I went in-person to a Hane’s outlet store nearby. Thankfully, the store was mostly empty. When the saleswoman asked if I needed help, I’m pretty sure she saw right through me when I said was I looking for my wife. I bought my first three pair of panties that day. A month or so later, I went to Target and bought more. And then another trip to Target to buy stockings, and picked up some new panties again.
Since then, though, I’ve bought almost everything online – most of it at Amazon, though I’ve recently discovered Payless’s awesome website.
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