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    • #34783

      Unlike you Alice, the desire to be female comes and goes with me.  For a period of some months my male persona kicks in then for a few months my fem persona dominates. I am just 3 years older than you and i have become used to the fact that i must live two lives to keep both parties happy.  Enjoy.   Bronwyn

    • #8057
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Wow-you could almost be describing my experience, Kendra! I turned 50 this year and like you I thought “as I got older and got married, the desire to crossdress would go away as I had a “real woman” in my life”. But as the marriage went on the desire-or to be honest the NEED to express my feminine side grew more intense and once our marriage split up, the feelings intensified even more. I wear panties and trouser socks to work everyday under my male clothes and living on my own have seen my feminine wardrobe explode and spend at least several hours a day if not the entire evening or overnight dressed completely as a woman. And am questioning whether “just dressing” is enough or whether I am truly a woman who needs to begin transitioning even at my advanced age. The transgender/crossdressing feelings WILL likely get stronger as you get older so enjoy them!

      Cynthia

    • #8059
      Kendra
      Duchess

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Cynthia. So far I am enjoying this re-awakening very much.

      All the best

      Kendra

    • #8105
      Anonymous

      Hi Kendra , yes it certainly does intensify. I’m now in my 60s and the urge is stronger than ever, dresses,skirts, i buy obsessively and panties i have far to many. If there was a chance i could dress as Zoe all the time i would take it. I love dressing as a gurl so i have welcomed this desire, i hope you gurls out there do to.X

    • #8201
      Kendra
      Duchess

      Nice to hear I am not the only one to experience a reawakening

      Thanks

    • #8202
      Holly G
      Lady

      I’ve seen it come and go over the years. For me it seems to intensify during times of high stress. I think it provides me an escape from the high stress working world where I can pretend that I’m NOT the sole bread winner for my family. This happened 4 years ago and from that time on my dressing ramped up to buying my own clothes which was a first. If others see this as an escape then I could see that correlating to getting older as work stress tends to increase with age as well.

    • #8211
      Anonymous

      though I can’t really talk here since I only started 7 years ago, my need to dress has intensified SO much, I am now full time and very comfortable

    • #8217
      dw6235
      Lady

      I have tried to stop dressing with each relationship but the urge and desire to dress always comes back it is a part of everyone of us it’s something you or I can’t let go that is why I will not deny it anymore it is a part of me like breathing is everyone hugs Debra:))

    • #8257
      Kendra
      Duchess

      Thanks so much for all the comments. I love Jennifer’s description of the desire coming back with the fiery vengeance of an erupting volcano. That is what it has been like for me since I walked into that drugstore and bought myself a pair of pantyhose a couple of months ago. I am not sure exactly why I chose the moment I did, but I did not expect a volcano eruption. I was pretty calm when I bought them, a few butterflies but nothing major, but by the time I got home and walked in the door with the pantyhose in my hand, my heart was pounding as if it would explode through my chest. And then when I pulled them up my leg – OMG!! Bliss!!! So now I am wearing tights or pantyhose under my pants when I go to work.

      And all this suddenly exploding after years of doing without

      Amazing

    • #8272
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      It amazes me how many time I read something here on the site and feel like someone has been reading my mind. Jennifer’s comments above ring very true for me as well(even the timing is similar as to when I first started dressing, to the approximate length of marriage to currently being fifty and having that same feeling and intensity of the desire-nay the need- to let the long repressed female part of my soul express herself. While I’m not sure exactly how far this journey will be, I’m frightened and excited at the same time to take it one small step at a time(in heels of course!).

      Cynthia

    • #8279
      Anonymous

      Wow ! Jennifer, Kendra & Debra, we are truly sisters. I am not going to repeat you stories , words & experiences, because they are mine as well. The purging, the fear, the felling that you are told, live you different than you feel. I am the same way and my Feminine side is so strong. I tell my wife all the time that my ” Girl side is kicking in”, really it is both physical & mental. I am definitely a stronger girl or woman everyday 🙂 Luvs Kathie

    • #8471
      Anonymous

      Wow. Reading your posts is SO comforting. I am 60 and the feelings just get stronger every day. I, too, sit at work going over outfits in my mind. I love to shop and always find myself looking at what the women are wearing when I’m trapped in my male uniform. Thanks to all of you for sharing. It really does help!

    • #8472
      Elaine
      Duchess

      I have similar feelings as well – the older I get the more I enjoy dressing en femme.

    • #8578

      I would definitely agree with all of you – the older I get the more I want to dress. Part of it is just getting more comfortable with all of me, and realizing I have both masculine and feminine aspects to me my personality and that the female parts don’t have to be repressed. The other part is realizing that most of the world really doesn’t care how I dress and so it’s all right for me to dress however I darn well please.

    • #8630
      Anonymous

      I am 55 and think my intensity has increased . As Kendra said about her children being grown ,mine as well at least my23 yr old son has graduated College and on his own,and my youngest is 15 and they both are accepting of my choice so that has freed me up a lot though not in a clubbing way
      So i think the desire might lay dormantfor a while with somebut never truly leaves,because this is a part of who we are,at least that is my interpretation of this!

    • #10600

      I am now 64 and have been dressing since age 10. The need grows more as I age. What ticks me off is that I now have to dress age appropriate when out as I have always dressed to blend in which I do very well. I have only been read twice in 54 years.

    • #10603
      Anonymous

      Intensify no doubt it totally consumes me to be female and dress as one Hollyh

    • #10638

      Kendra – Welcome Home….

      I had similar experiences and looking back not i think don’t think that the desire ever went away.   I believe it just went dormant from being unfed and replaced with other prioritiessuch as work, kids, house  etc.  for a period of time.

      Now, it’s not that i ever stopped dressing, but there was a time when I was only dressing once ever two months or longer. As my kids grew (i have one out of the house and one is a senior in High School) they became less dependent; no more track and field, baseball, Lacrosse, kids parties, Dad give me a ride and pick me up. etc. Any of us with children can attest to this.  Once that subsided and I had more idle time I found my desire reawakening.  Now at 49 I am luckily established and have my house pretty well set the way i want which has given me even more time.

      So here I am as well, my feminine side fully reawakened for the last  couple of years and loving it.  I wonder what the author of those sociology books from the 70’s would say today?

      Hugs,

      Heather.

    • #10995
      Anonymous

      Hi Everyone, I noticed that a few of us who responded are over the age of 50. So I started a new group called “Over 50”. Check it out, think about joining, a place where us older gals can share. Have a great week!!! Krista

    • #10996
      Anonymous

      For me it intensified now as I’m in my 30s. I’m just starting out at this. Soooo much to learn

    • #11003

      I’m here to tel you that for me the desire to feminize well not go away it well only intensify the older we get.  It leas for me it has and I’m 68 and I to started when I was 10. I spent time in the navy, married, had one son and in the 49 years of marriage I never stoped  dressing. I did slow down got cough by my son one time wife did know about me and her a fight or two slowed down but did not last long. Wife has passed just one mouth be for are 49 years. Now I just don’t know whet to do with her things. As foe me it has internsifyed in a big way

      Rickie

    • #11014
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      WEll Jacqueline you’ve come to the right place.  There are hundreds of ladies on the site eager to support and help you giving advice and a sounding board.  Feel free to PM me anytime if I Can help answer any questions or you just want to talk.  Any of the Ambassadors are also more than willing too as are many members.  Browse the forums and member sites, find someone you think you might be comfortable with and approach them.  I did that myself just two short months ago and it helped me immensely-really bringing me out of my self imposed shell!

      We are so glad you decide to join our community and look forward to getting to know you better!

       

      Cynthia(Cyn)

       

      PS Yes the desires usually DO intensify for most of us!

       

    • #11015
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Rickie,

      You didn’t say exactly how long ago she passed but my condolences on the loss of your wife.  My dad passed right after y parents’ 50th anniversary (2004) and my mom 7 years later in 2011.  I know that it was hard for my mom so I can believe that it must be for you too. HOpe that you are feeling better.  Don;t feel pressured to get rid of her things.  My mom never got rid of my dad’s stuff before she passed.  If you’re lucky enough to be close to her size, perhaps you can honor her memory by adopting some of her stuff into your own wardrobe.  In any case, my sympathies on your loss!

      Cynthia

    • #11268

      Ladies,From my point of view the urge to dress  grows stronger as I age gracefully.When I dress I can feel the tension of the day and especially my career leave me.It just feels right and makes me feel complete.As I type this I am sitting here in a very pretty pale green nightgown and feeling so relaxed.Enjoy ladies ,its fun.

    • #11269
      Kendra
      Duchess

      Wow Girls – I am overwhelmed by the number of responses to this post and the commonality of experience.  Seems we all agree – once a crossdresser always a crossdresser, and as we get older it only intensifies.

      So – don’t fight it – lets all go buy some panties, hose and lipstick!!!

    • #11271
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      amen Kendra-BFF!

       

    • #11439

      I have to agree, my appetite to dress grows stronger as I age. Being divorce ( ex never knew, I don’t think) gave me plenty of Fem time and even since my daughter moved in(doesn’t know yet) my desire to dress continues to grow… Online friends are mainly my age or older, and it appears their need to feminine has grow as they gotten older too.

      Stephanie

    • #11440
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      KAryn,

      while you may have been “driven over” the bridge, there is clearly “something” here. But with that being said, the key is to be sure you follow YOUR heart-not someone else’s  ideas of what you “should” be doing-not even your wife’s! HER vision is hers and YOURS is yours.  With luck and hope and love, those visions of your future will overlap to a large extent but YOU are the most important factor.  Don’t let ANYONE force you to to anything yoi don’t feel comfortable with.  You are a very special lady, KAryn!and no matter what choices you make with regards to your future, you will ALWAYS find support here.  ..and, (if you will have me)   also a friend who loves you for who YOU are and wishes you the best in whatever your future holds for you!

       

      Cynthia

    • #11597
      Anonymous

      I too believe that the desire intensifies,I went through a time when I would try on my mothers silky underthings but I hid my behaviour for fear of ridicule.  I may not be well educated but I want to thank each and every one of you ladies who  have accepted me and made me feel welcome,as I can feel the love given through your words.I am going through a divorce right now(Dressing had nothing to do with it) and even though I am still nuts about my wife,I love expressing my female side. I am 53 and a trucker and as I type this I am in a bra and panties and I am completely comfortable with who I am.Once again thank you for your support!

    • #11737
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Julianne-great attitude!  I hope it works out with your wife that she loves and can accept that this is who you are and it is part (maybe a large part) of what made you the person she fell in love with.  But if it does NOT  you will at least be living life the way you  fee inside and will be true to yourself.  PM me any time if you want to chat!

    • #11802
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Karyn-Cynthia again-had an other thought-so what has your therapist said about your concerns about the future?  Have talked about the concerns with him/her ?  I just worry about whether you are doing what you are doing because it is what YOU want or what someone else wants or expects of oy.  AsI said before you need to do what YOUR heart tells you not what someone else TELLS you to do.  I’m not criticizing you in any way,shape or form.  I just care about you and want whatever is best for YOU!

       

      Cyn

    • #12064

      Mine has also intensified after laying  Dormant for 10 yrs. had some occasional thinking about it but very little desire  I am 62 years old  with more time on my hands and it seems it is all  I can think about now.

    • #12068

      For me it has intensified  I am 62 I am under dressing to satisfy the desire. panties under my day clothes and also under my PJS at bed time. would love to purchase some  Outer clothing but trying to go slow in the beginning cant believe this is all i can seem to think about after this lay dormant for so long 10yrs

      Anixety is high some days.

    • #12071

      I am 62 years old and I think it has intensified. I tried banishing it for the last 15 years but during that time have had 2 serious bouts of depression which I am positive were brought on by not allowing myself to express myself! Now I dress at least 2-3 times a week with full dress and makeup. I have gone out in public shopping fully dressed and walking my dogs in my neighborhood. I am now trying to find a therapist and leaning toward HRT hormone replacement therapy. From what I have read on studies virtually no one can repress this desire forever and it almost always intensifies.

    • #12460

      I am 58. the desire to crossdress continues. I thought when I was young, my twenties that there was no way I would be wearing women’s clothes into my 50’s. Wrong…it is ingrained and still generates the thrill. If I were to give one piece of advice, if you are a crossdresser, the desire will always be there in the back of your mind. Manage it, don’t fight it.

    • #12485
      Anonymous

      I’m 59 and for me it has gotten stronger.  I also wear intimates under my clothes at work as was mentioned.  I also go to stores more often to look for clothes.  I try to do something everyday to remind me of my true self!  When I’m stressed at work I go on my phone and look at a picture of me dressed.  I also put a hint of my perfume on my sleeve that I will sometimes smell again reminding me that I love being…..

      Erica

    • #12823
      rhonda
      Lady

      if there’s any thing I know it gets much more desireable the older you get , at least for me any way

    • #13141
      Anonymous

      I am 60, and my urges have intensified over the past few months. Being single also helps I suppose. I am also no longer “afraid” to go into department stores, and buy clothing for myself in the women’s department. I also wear intimates under my man clothing at work. Thank the gods that I only have two more years until I can retire.

      I was unaware of this scene, and all the people who are here. Apparently I am not alone like I once thought. There are many others. So I joined up with this scene, and hope to go out and maybe meet some of us face to face.

    • #13346
      Nicole
      Lady

      I think I have to agree with everyone here, the desire to be femme does seem to intensify as we get older. Just a year ago I didn’t think I would want to go out dressed as a woman, but I’m finding I love being Nicole more and more. (I’m incredibly lucky to have a very understanding wife, some of my nicest dresses were bought for me by her. She has encouraged me to discover who Nicole really is.)

      I wonder though, could the perception of intensified desire actually be just a rebound to the natural place for one to be? Maybe by the time we reach our middle age we are finally in a position in life where we can allow ourselves to be more “ourselves”. Whether it’s because we’re divorced, single or have come out to our significant others, maybe by this age we are just starting to feel free enough to be ourselves. I know that if not for my wife I would still be hiding, dressing less and probably purging every few months.

      I now dress as Nicole almost everyday and I love it, though I’m not quite ready to go out in a dress just yet. I usually wear tights and a nice top with my boobs on and a little bit of makeup. I’m hoping (expecting?) I’ll be able to go out in a dress next spring.

      I see my desire to feminize not so much intensifying as blossoming, growing into it’s natural state, now that I’m coming out of the dark 😉

    • #14912
      Anonymous

      Been dressing up for 30 years just got better at makeup and clothing selection and I dress up more often now.

    • #14941

      From my personal experience my desire to be Kelci has grown as I age. At one point just putting on one female garment would suffice. Now I don’t feel the same if I am not completely dressed as Kelci. About 14 months ago I did something I thought I wouldn’t ever do. I bought makeup and now have a slight addiction. Additionally, I never even considered transitioning to Kelci, but within the past year it is something I think of often.

    • #15047
      Anonymous

      My experience is very close to yours – I would definitely say it intensifies 🙂

    • #15075
      skippy1965 Cynthia
      Ambassador

      Kelci-so happy for you as you explore your feelings.  AS you know I too once thought I Was fine as a closeted CD but have come to feel more TG in the last few years and especially this year!  Don’t know where things are leading but looking forward to whatever 2016 might bring!

    • #15149
      Anonymous

      Definitely intensifies. I am in my mid 70s. (blush). I can still pass for mid 60s, so I am told. Long time dresser. Out to my wife of 55 years. Have had low testosrone (and ed) for several years. Since then my desire sky rocketed.

    • #15207
      Anonymous

      Hi Girls,

      I’m 71. I think my urge to dress has stayed strong and constant since I first crossdressed (from about age 8). Up until I was about 40, I purged a couple of times (out of shame). But around that age, I accepted my crossdressing. Since then, I am VERY HAPPY as a crossdresser. I would not want to lose my joy in crossdressing. I think we crossdressers are SO FORTUNATE  to dress completely as a woman from the skin out, wear makeup, and act and be treated as a woman while dressed.

      For we crossdressers, it is a beautiful, deeply emotional, and joyful “condition”. It’s not really a hobby, but if it were, it sure beats bowling or stamp-collecting! LOL!

      Love,

      Sheila.

       

    • #15553

      [quote quote=8055]Back in the late 70’s and early 80’s when I was dressing up in pantyhose, skirts, heels, lipstick and eyeliner and heading to a disco that catered to LGBT people, I was also balancing the thrill, excitement, passion, and discovery with guilt, fear and self-loathing. So I bought the textbook to a second year sociology course that had a chapter on “transvestites”. It included a very damning description of crossdressers and contributed significantly to my self-loathing. It also said that the desire to crossdress diminishes with age. Sadly, I found that claim to be comforting. When I got married and shared my feminization desires with my wife, I told her I thought it would diminish and I think she probably got some comfort from that. Then when we had kids, it actually did diminish – perhaps because raising kids is exhausting, and perhaps because it is human nature to put your kids’ needs before your own. But now my kids have moved into their own apartments and my desire to wear tights, heels, lipstick, eyeliner and dresses has really intensified. I joined this website a couple of weeks ago because my feminization desires were re-awakening and ever since I have dealing with very strong urges. I decided last night that I was going to stop at a drugstore on my way home from work today and buy a couple of pairs of tights – so that is all I could think about all day. I was on a conference call this afternoon and talking about an important business proposal – but all I could think about was “should I get two pairs of black tights, or should I get a pair or red or purple tights to go with the black ones?” I am wearing a pair right now – and wow was it wonderful to pull them up my legs. Of course I had to put on some heels and run to the mirror. Am I coming home? Maybe – I am not sure yet. Thankfully I got used to wearing platform shoes in the 70’s so returning to heels was more about reviving muscle memory than it was starting from scratch. I am 59 years old, I was a crossdresser over 30 years ago then I stopped – AND NOW? WOW DO I LOVE DRESSING UP IN TIGHTS, HEELS, DRESSES AND MAKEUP So for me – the old sociology textbook was wrong – the desire to feminize did not diminish – I either returned with a vengeance or maybe even intensified. I dont know where this will take me – but it will be an intense and wild ride. How about the other girls on this site? What is your experience? [/quote]
      I think it intensifies because you keep pushing your own limits and end up discovering more about yourself!

    • #16131
      Anonymous

      I think the desire intensifies it has for me.

    • #16411
      Anonymous

      I am 65 yrs. old in Mar. I used to dress up all the time with my wife’s support when I was younger back in the ’70’s, However, I quite agree with you on the business of losing the feelings of wanting to dress with the kids around. Just as my wife and I were looking forward to some re-inventing my looks and gurlish personality, I collapsed in 2007 and almost died.
      Now, I am too limited in the scope of my life right now to go back into dressing up again. It just would not work. But, I joined this group in order to give and share what ever personal experiences I can with other CD’s. I have had lots of memories and some experiences when in public en femme with my wife controlling the situation.

    • #16756

      I’m 67 years old and it has definitely grown stronger. Since my divorce 5 years ago, she couldn’t accept it, the urge and ability to dress has come back extremely strong. Since I retired I now spend almost everyday 24/7 as Terri. When I have to change into those other rough clothes I am uncomfortable.
      I’m slowly rebuilding a wardrobe after purging to try and stay married (a mistake), and am learning to sew so I can make some of my own dresses and skirts.
      I wish I could find an understanding woman but I realize at my age it probably won’t happen. Instead, I spend my time dressing the way that feels right and hope I can spend many more years as Terri.

    • #16853
      Lynne
      Lady

      Not a chance I turned 60 in May and had a quadruple heart bypass in July of 2014 and after I woke up from it I have been having some serious feminine urges like never before .Maybe some of my new meds have got some kind of female hormones in them or maybe it is just because I am getting older but my breasts are getting bigger I was always totally flat chested before but now I am almost considering some kind of starter bra.What gives ?I have always been a closet crossdresser but now I am seriously considering going out in public en femme.Please someone give me some answers .

    • #16902
      Anonymous

      Thank the ,lord its not just me. My desire to wear female clothes has gone throughthe roof. Its got so much more intenče , its nearly cost me my marrage, but i love it so much.So in answer to your question, YES, YES YES IT dose get betterxxxx Zoe

    • #16976

      My life as a cross dresser really took of after I retired. My kids have long gone and my lovely wife, who still works, knows that I dress every day, though she doesn’t want to see me dressed. Like another one of  you girls I had bypass surgery eight years ago. It triggered deep memories within me about how I’d always dreamed what it would be like to be a woman and be feminine. Slowly at first I started to dress and explore my feelings. It felt so right and now I am so happy and contented when I am en femme I know that this is a part of me that can never be denied. I am 73 years old but have been told I look early 60’s.The feelings get stronger as I age and I intend to learn and grow and be as good a woman as I can for the rest of my life

    • #17425
      Ashley
      Lady

      I can’t agree more with everything that has been said.  I’ve been crossdressing for 26 years now (since I was 10), and went through two purges over that time.  The urge just comes back stronger and stronger each time.

      Eventually, I have gotten to the point of dressing at every free moment I have, and I wear panties, nylons, and a garter belt at work underneath my male clothing.  I just hate getting dressed in male clothing now… It almost repulsed me sometimes.  I would much rather wear a pretty dress and heels and just embrace who I am.  I’ve even thought about asking to work full time from home with my current job so that I can enjoy being Ashley almost every moment of every day.  I adore being Ashley and I find that I never want to let her go.  In the past, that urge may not have been so strong and I would find it a lot easier to not dress for months and months, but that is becoming less of an option and the desires I have to be the beautiful and sexy woman I want to be reign over me almost always now.

      So I agree girls… Let’s not fight it.  Go fill your drawers with panties and bras, stockings and garter belts, clean your closets out of the male clothing wherever possible and make room for the chemises and gowns, dresses, skirts, and tops.  Toss out the man shoes and stack your closets full of sexy heels to wear.  I think it’s time we embrace the women inside of us and enjoy living our lives… Life is too short to not live it to the fullest.  Of course, that can be very expensive so I don’t condone spending every dollar you have doing so, but dedicate yourselves to the woman you are and aspire to become little by little every day.  I find the world is better off with the kind-hearted girls on this site than without them.

    • #17496
      Anonymous

      Skippy, I am 65 now, and though my wife has been very supportive through the years with my me being a CD, I am faced now with another problem.  I am getting too old!  I wrote a article on this for the group, and so it goes like this:  Made up, I look like my Grand mother.  Ugh!  Any mental picture about myself image does not elicit any positive desire to dress.  I love femdom stories with men being feminized, so I guess that is how I justify being a CD now.  Just sharing my thoughts.

       

    • #17840

      I commented on this earlier but please bear with me as I add additional comments after I have spent some time thinking about this. I think it intensified because I have found it so fulfilling and comfortable. Even though I have somewhat of a masculine build, when I look in the mirror I see the woman I want to see looking back at me and thoroughly enjoy my feminine self. Why wouldn’t I want to dress as a female when I find I am so comfortable doing it. Perhaps being comfortable is the reason it intensifies as we get older.
      I know, for me, every day I think, “This is how I should be dressed and how I want to dress.” On those occasions where I have to transform and wear those other drab clothes, I don’t feel comfortable even if I am wearing my panties, bra and hose under them. I can’t wait to get home and reapply my makeup and put on a nice dress or skirt and blouse. It just make me feel whole. Even when I’m just dressed in shorts or jeans with a nice top, it feels right. After all, who wants to look like June Cleaver when they are cleaning the house or scrubbing the bathroom floor.
      For years I struggled with the “Why?” and “What is wrong with me?” I lived through some serious depression without knowing why I always so depressed and, yes, at times even suicidal. I purged so often that I probably kept someone in clothes through many seasons and probably years. It wasn’t until I finally answer the “Why?” with “It just feels right.” and the “What is wrong with me?” with “Absolutely nothing. I am not mentally ill, I just have a very good part of me that needs to be expressed rather than the part a narrow minded society dictates.”
      Once I answered those two questions and went through a divorce, ridding me of the negative situation I was in, I began to realize how whole I felt when I was feminized and how I didn’t feel depressed any more but rather looked forward to each day. I’ve even been able to get off the depression medicine I’ve taken for years.
      Now, when I slide my panties up and slip into a bra, I don’t even give it a second thought. It just feels right and I know it is right for me. Do I want to change my sex? Sure there are times I play that mental game of “what if?” and I think about how my life would have been if I had been born a female, but was I born in the wrong body? I don’t think so. I was just born into a society that doesn’t want to understand but I am hopeful someday they will. Even if they don’t I know what feels right for me and I know that it is not something I will stop doing. My purge days are over and I look forward to the day when my closet is entirely full of lovely dresses and skirts.

    • #18663

      My desire to dress as a woman has only intensified over the years.  Many years ago I would sometimes be so ashamed of my crossdressing that I would purge my wardrobe.  Now the thought of purging my feminine wardrobe never crosses my mind.  Someday, I will be so old, fat, and ugly that I will have to give up crossdressing.   I’m not looking forward to that day.

      KerryMichelle

    • #19420
      Anonymous

      for me the desire got alot stronger after i retired i had more time to dress then i went out as joann that was a game changer now i want to go out every day but my wife is afraid some one will know me so to make her happy i only get out once in a wile but i alwise have a bra and panties on

    • #19429

      For me it seems the older I get the stronger the desire becomes. I’m not sure why. I’ve enjoyed it since I was a teenager but have had to keep it a secret. However, the urge is getting to the point that I may tell my wife that I’m going to do it, at least at home if she likes it or not. For some reason I’ve always felt I should really have been a girl.

    • #20062

      Ha! I am over 70 and have found that recently the desire has increased, knickers and bra most days. In recent weeks I have become obsessed with growing breasts and bought bovine ovary , pueraria mirifica, volufiline etc. Not started yet though.

    • #20163
      April (Pacific Princess)
      Ambassador - Editor

      I too have found my desire to crossdress increasing now that my kids are out of the house. I suppressed it for so long while my kids were growing up. I’m not retired, but at 58 I just feel that it’s time to quit hiding who I am inside. I have been depressed for a number of years now and hiding my crossdressing, especially from my wife, was a big part of it. I’m being totally open with her about it now and letting the chips fall where they may.

    • #20166

      Kendra, Get writings I am a older CD couldn’t transition due to a few issues. However ,my desire to feminize hasn’t diminished but intensified . As I wear stockings and garter belt daily as I live alone i fully dress evenings due to the area I live. So to your question
      Yes, It Does Intensify and many area and thoughts.
      Stacey S

    • #21375
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      My dressing began at 4 with stockings and pantyhose. I began buying my own pantyhose at 13 and got bolder wearing pantyhose out openly with shorts at 17. I began dressing fully fem at 18 when I was in college.

      After college I pretty much stopped dressing fully fem for a number of years. It was something I did and enjoyed a lot but it was time to move on to other phases of life. I still wore pantyhose everyday including out openly with shorts but many of the other clothing items were either discarded or donated.

      A few years ago I was cleaning out a closet and discovered some of my favorite clothes which I kept. I tried them on. it brought back a lot of memories and desires to dress up. I bought some new clothes and began dressing again. It’s as much fun and I believe I enjoy it as much as I used to.

    • #21384

      As I grow Older the desire to feminize does not diminish but does intensify. I, started dressing at a early age mostly on and off. During 2 marriages I dressed secretly when No one was around. The feelings were intensive. Through many ups and downs and purging many times and this could be expensive to say the least and most of us know. This feeling of Feminize myself
      never goes away. I, have been through therapy and and found out through searching and listening
      that I am Gay or a Lesbian and enjoying my feminizeation with men and the feeling are so intense also. To say it goes away it doesn’t.Thanks to this site I have found many friends and I thank them for there friendship and understanding even though society does not approve of crossdressers or trans people. I am not out to all but working on that and have been out a couple of times in a transgender friendly area. Thank you for letting me profess that I am a crossdresser.

      Hugs to all.
      Stacey S.

    • #21881
      Linda
      Lady

      I think it probably does intensify with age.  It seems as we get older testosterone levels decline.  We don’t have a menopause (or even a womenpause?) but the genders do tend to merge.  Moobs, man boobs have been mentioned.  We also tend to have more time to think of ourselves as we age.  Kids gone, experienced at work, retirement.  More disposable income.  More confidence, less angst.  Less responsibilities.  Becoming a little more acceptable in society and certainly way more easy to appreciate we are not alone and therefore more acceptable to us now than then.   So even if the desire doesn’t alter there are a number of reasons why it may become more prominent and so seem to intensify?

    • #25015

      If you try and suppress your desire,  it will slip out,  and sometimes at not the smartest moment,

      However having a healthy relationship with your cross dressing, exploring those desire and acting on them on a healthy way will not diminish them but it will be you driving them rather then them driving you.

      Do we have a evolutionary desire to wear high heels?    The answer is no,  we have a evolutionary desire to display,  and as we learn what forms of fashion display the body in our current culture those are the things we seem to end up wanting to do.

       

      I say this relating back to does are desire grow stronger or diminish,  If you dive in and find out what is out there and what other people are doing suddenly desires to do/wear things you never have before pop up.  So in this way as we grow older your desires will expand and change as you learn more.

       

    • #25018

      The answer I think most of us agree with is that the desire increases.

       

      however if you wanted this desire to diminish  here is a strategy,  Throw yourself into something,  when your tired with kids,  a new job, a hobby, it can replace much of the desire to cross dress,  who wants to dress up when they have baby throw up on them, dirty nappies to change and a lack of sleep? 🙂

      However this IS NOT a strategy to suppress these desires,  it wont work they will still come out,  so find a safe way to satisfy them,  so that you can control them and they wont control you.

      If you don’t want them to expand,  then don’t explore the internet,  don’t be a voyer of what others are doing because that will mostly expand your desires,  instead keep your head close to what works for you do that and then go back to your other activities.

      That said,  people love the flamboyant,  costumes are fun, we as a society celebrate those that do what they do and own it.  and if you can own what works for you people who a fun and interesting will come to you and support you and shield you from those that will bully and shame.

      Remember the most Awesome dress doesn’t make the girl,  It is the Confidence inside the dress that people will find attractive.   Go have fun!  even when we are old fat and wrinkled!   –

      -love you all

    • #25744
      Jaime
      Lady

      It sounds like it intensifies for all of us.  It surely has for me.  It feels like more every day. Its to the point where I’m depressed.  I secretly dress and feel my wife will leave me if she finds out. I’m on a weight lose journey for my health but more to look better dressed.  Is that backward? I’ve feel more bisexual also.  I so want my wife to understand but I feel its out of the question.  I will just continue to live thru all your courageous ladies here.  Thanks for listening.

      OOXX Jamie

    • #25751
      April (Pacific Princess)
      Ambassador - Editor

      Wow. I agree with Cynthia. What you describe, Kendra, perfectly encapsulates my own experience, although I didn’t dress as much as you when I was younger. I had been dressing and using makeup to an extent until my mid-twenties. Even told my wife and had her help me a couple of times. She did not really enjoy the experience like I hoped she would. So I pushed the feelings down, and when I had kids, the desire did actually diminish, to where I went months without even thinking about it, and years without dressing at all. With my kids all grown and out of the house now the desires have come back strongly. I want to dress just about every day and when I do dress I want to go out and about. When I was younger I never went out dressed except on Halloween. Now, I’ve been out about a half dozen times in the past 3 months. I’ve let my hair grow longer and I keep my toenails painted almost all the time. I’ve even looked into ways to slightly feminize my face to give it a more androgynous look. I think my wife is a bit put off by all of this, but she is trying.

      I’m 58, didn’t dress for over 30 years, and now the desires are stronger than they ever were when I was younger. Like you Kendra, and you Cyn, I think I’ve proven those old textbooks to be wrong – at least in my case.

      April

    • #25768
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      I’ve worn stockings and pantyhose since I was 4. At 13 I began buying my own. Then at 17 I shaved my legs and began wearing pantyhose out openly. I wanted to show more leg with shorter shorts so I began wearing women’s shorts which were cheaper and looked better.

      One day I was in a department store wearing little short shorts and tan sheer to waist pantyhose. I was waiting on a cashier line waiting to purchase several more pairs of pantyhose. A girl on line behind me noticed this. We got to talking. She asked if I wore other so called female attire or just pantyhose. It was just pantyhose and the shorts. She thought I might like to try other things. She bought me some lingerie. I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.

      The she thought I should dress as a girl for Halloween at a college party. It was a chance to wear pantyhose and show off my legs. We went out and bought a few dresses, shoes, wigs, bras and makeup.  The dress felt very natural and comfortable even though it was very short. I used balloons in the bra for breasts. That was good. We chose a wig we thought would go best. I needed help with the makeup. I took a couple of weeks to get used to the heels. I was pretty excited with how I looked.

      I was nervous the night of the party. What would people think? Would there be problems? I almost backed out. I got up the nerve even though walking from the car to the building, I was scared to death, even though I liked how I felt in the clothes. The next big step was walking into the party. When I did it seemed like everyone was looking at me. What were they thinking? A girl came over looked me over and told me I had really nice legs. Another complimented me on my dress, another liked my hair. Guys were staring at me. I also met other guys who were dressed up. They were wearing such nice classy dresses, had great hair, jewelry and perfect fingernails. I felt cheap and slutty looking but I seemed to be getting more attention than they were.

      That night I won “best legs” and “sexiest costume”. I also got invited to attend “gender bending” dorm parties where we would dress fem again. I couldn’t wait. I went out and bought a lot more clothes and continuously worked on improving my look. After 4 years college was over and so was the parties. I ended up throwing away or donating most of my clothes except for the pantyhose. It had been great and a lot of fun but now I was on to other phases of my life.

      A few years ago I found a box that had some of my old clothes in it. They were a few of my favorite clothing items I couldn’t part with but forgot I still had. I showed them to my wife. She thought I should try them on and maybe dress up again. They didn’t fit like they used to and were quite risque but I really liked wearing them again. I managed to hook up with a local group that has gatherings and parties. I bought more clothes and I’m enjoying it again. I don’t know if I like it more now than I did years ago. I think it’s just different, enjoyable and fun in different ways.

    • #26807
      Anonymous

      I’ve read a lot of research on this and I’m please to say the urge to dress increases as you get older. In my 20 and 30’s dressing one a week was more norm but now I’m virtually full time often spending 3 or 4 days at a time as Rachel. Embrace it and love it xx

    • #26917
      Anonymous

      Have been in group therapy with other cds and tgs and they all say it only increases with age. It has applied in my case too

    • #28259

      I agree that with age the desire does not diminish. I wish I knew back in the 70’s and 80’s what we know now. I would have done a lot of things differently. I will be 58 next month and feel like I have wasted a lot of years. I love wearing women’s clothes and do so everyday but not like I would like. My kids are now in their 20’s, my daughter has moved out and as soon as my son moves out I will definitely be dressing up more.

    • #28425

      I must be a bit different to most girls here who have said the desire to dress has become stronger over time.  I have been a closet cd now for over 30 years and have a lovely fem wardrobe, heels, stockings.  But over the last year i have found the desire to dress is greatly   deminished. I still wear my heels around the house and wear panties, but that’s about it. I have said in other posts that i still have long fem nails and earrings and long hair but the desire to dress is no longer there.  Bronwyn

       

    • #28865

      I’ve been dressing as a girl since 5yrs old. I dont own any guy clothes. My closet only has female clothing in it. I try to buy female  clothes that look like guys so I can wear them anywhere I go. Now I’m over 40 and my desires to be dressed full time have not slowed down at all.

      Al tho I’ve found out since I’m older my desire to dress up and go out on the town has diminished. I no longer feel I have to let everyone know I wear girls clothes. They sometime suspect it when seeing me in my clothes, but no one has said anything about it to me.

    • #28868

      You should try to dress everyday or at least where lingerie everyday so you can feel feminine 24/7. Thats the way i control those urges better. I found by wearing something feminine all the time, I get used to it and my urges to go out slows down. I know that I can now feel feminine everyday so nothing builds up inside

      I buy all female clothing, but I try to get clothes that look like a guys. That way I can wear it everyday and know one notices and I can feel like a girl all the time. I wear those girls skinny jeans, loafers and some flats all the time. Cotton tops in a girls size but they could be a guys too. Anyone I’m around never has noticed anything and the only way they may figure it out is to see the clothing tag inside.

    • #30395

      Should i be concerned that i am the ONLY cd to confess that my urge to dress has diminshed??

      I know everyone is different, but on this issue everyone has said they believe that over time the urge to dress increases.  Maybe more therapy needed.  Bronwyn

    • #30829

      I’m in my early 60’s now and I still dress everyday in lingerie and I wear dresses during the day, but I dont have those urges to get myself off like I did in my 20’w and 40’s.

      I do get the urge once a month but that all, so I would say it does drop off a bit, but for me I’m always dressed as a girl so I dont have all that fist time excitement like I use to.

    • #31720
      Anonymous

      in my case i feel the need to dress more often now than i used to,  whether that is because i was more closeted in the earlier days and struggled to find the right time to dress because of secrecy ,kids etc, as opposed to now where the opportunity is far greater i’m more open, all my family and friends are aware of my passion.so its not necessarily the desire has increased but the oppotunity certainly has, happy days

      abbiee xx

    • #31752
      Anonymous

      I firmly believe it intensifies. However I also believe there are a lot of contributory factors.

      As I’m getting older I care less what others think and I am more confident after years of practice walking in heels, selecting outfits, applying make up etc

      Society also seems more tolerant and info via the web helps deal with the “am I alone” feeling.

      I love dressing and its Saturday morning. Denim or floral skirt to go out today………..

      That’s the main worry 🙂

       

    • #31851

      I have found that the desire to dress has increased with time and with age. However, the sexual aspect has diminished and I find it just more relaxing. Helps when I am stressed out or feeling depressed. And, I also get some bisexual feelings now when I am dressed. That did not happen at first. I don’t think I would ever really transition, but I fantasize more about what it would be like to be a woman full time. Or to be able to shape shift back and forth. Since my wife is totally not interested in this (she does not know about my CDing) I am only able to surreptitiously dress when alone. I am always looking forward to those times now. I am thinking of getting a professional CD makeover, but am terrified. I’ve never really been out in public. Maybe, maybe…

       

    • #32721

      My experience: It grows STRONGER with age. For some reason. Not sure why but if I go too long without having some time as Michelle, I can’t wait to change when I do get a chance while traveling, etc.

      It’s now just a part of who I am. It started by accident. But now its part of me.

      Just go with it but beware, sometimes the kettle gets to hot and the top blows off if you deny your alter ego too long. Because that is what it is. my alter ego wanting its share of my time. its a nice, amazing balance in its own way.

      In 30 years its never been anyone other than me, my alter ego and me. Michelle is my administrator, my writer, my fun part…

    • #32722

      So agree with you Michelle.  I need my fem time which luckily for me i get a lot of when i am home.  Strangely enough the desire to be fem a lot more has become stronger over time.  And like you i have been living two lives….stressful at times.  I have no idea why or how became a crossdresser, and that was 30 years ago too, like you.  Bronwyn

    • #32915
      Anonymous

      Hi, This is Phylis. I am also interested in this question as I found that for about ten years in my late 50s and 60s the desire went away but now at 70 it has returned in vigor.  As a widower and the fact that I have recently retired, my life has changed and I find myself at home alone so much more. I am the one usually visits the kids , they don’t come here. It started up again when a woman who stayed over for a weekend left a frilly pair of panties behind and I just had to try them on. So then I went on the Internet and just started ordering stuff and now even go to 2nd hand shops to buy clothes but I don’t know what they imagine I’m doing or who I’m buying it for. So I’m back where I was in my 3rd age. But I am enjoying it. It diminishes the stress and makes me feel good, most of the time.

      Your question has led to these follow-ups:

      1. I am actually interested in who might be the oldest cross dresser on this site. I am 70 but I think there are much older cds than me.

      2. I also wonder if there might be more cds from my generation than from a younger one on this site. Maybe Vanessa could do a quick count as of age (given that people put in their age).

       

      Cd_phylis

    • #32988
      Anonymous

      i wish to become more feminine…not a second thought! i want some breasts. i am blessed down there. i am already small and thin and soft it could maybe pass in panties. my wife’s favorite comment is “clits belong in panties!” Oh Yes! when i leave fire department i want some tits and she is ok but dosent want them to show much in public. we make love as two chics…dont do intercourse..she has a vibe if needed!  i want as feminine as i can be

    • #33278
      Anonymous

      I only had intermittent desires for cross dressing when younger.  So the fact that the desire has become stronger has surprised me since I’m now 65 and the desires have only really asserted themselves in the last few days.  Being a big guy and having always had a beard, I never thought that I would look anything but ridiculous in female clothing even though I liked to look at women’s clothes.  But recently my wife and I ate at a more trendy restaurant that had works from local artists on the walls.  The art work next to our table we portraits of bearded men dressed fashionably in women’s clothing.  I’m not sure that I will ever look as good as they did, but the idea of looking ridiculous was gone.  I am feeling calmer since making the decision.

    • #33283

      I sure have felt the upwelling of CDing as I am getting older (67), but opportunities to dress are getting less and less…a bit of stress.  But, yeah, it does NOT diminish with age.

    • #34701

      For me intensified but that is because I got so few (if any) chances to do it.

      I started at a very young when I asked my mother if I could wear an old dress she was throwing out. She thought it was cute-for a day. It kicked into high gear in my teens and when I got older I was able to dress (in private)  first my mothers things and later wearing something a girlfriend left in my apartment, If we broke up there was always a thing or two I would hold onto.

      I occasionally will put on something of my wifes although the bras are little to tight and I don’t want to damage it and she is definitely a cotton panty type.

      I discovered going through her drawer a pair of lace panties. it was so far back she probably forgot about them. Last night I put them on and it felt so good.

      Our marriage is on shaky ground but if we ever split (which I don’t want), if I had my own place I’d be ordering up a storm because there would be no chance of being discovered. But damn those panties felt good,

       

       

       

       

    • #34769

      I would like to share that my desire has been increasing.  I had been using my wife’s lingerie.  But, six years ago, I started my own collection…thanks to on-line purchasing.  I am 62.  Not only my desire to dress increases, there is a voice in my head telling me that I should transform to a woman.  Is there anyone feeling similar?  How do you handle it?

    • #36788
      Penny
      Lady

      After reading some of the previous comments, the general consensus seems to be leaning towards intensifying as we age. I certainly agree with that for myself. I have been crossdressing since I was 11 off and on with a few periods when I abstained. I am now 62 and wearing something feminine nearly every day when practical. I have an intense desire to grow breasts, now more than at any time in the past. I want to be seen and treated as a woman. Living as a woman is an notion that I would have rejected in the past as I never considered myself as “born in the wrong body”. Now, I am not so sure. I still don’t feel as if I am transexual, but I still want to be female and not just appear to be so.

    • #36860
      Patty Phose
      Duchess

      When I first saw his topic, I really didn’t know. I dressed a lot in college. I absolutely loved it. it was so much fun. Then after college I didn’t dress fully femme for over 20 years. I donated or discarded most of my clothes. I went into different phases of my life. There was marriage, house, kids and work. Dressing just didn’t figure into all this.

      Then the empty nest syndrome kicked in. The wife and I saw and heard some things about Drag Queens, cross dressing Tupperwear sales woman and just more of an openness to this lifestyle. Somewhere between these things, the wife commented, “remember when you used to dress like that”. Then she was at a jewelry sales house party. Afterwards she told me she was imagining me in heels and dress selling that stuff. It seemed like there was a lot of things happening that got me to thinking about dressing again.

      I found a small stash of some clothes I liked so much I didn’t discard. I put them on. I was amazed at how much the clothes shrunk while in storage….lol. I used to wear that stuff? And it fit? I squeezed into a dress, slipped on some pantyhose and heels and walked out to show my wife. She grinned and laughed a bit. “If you are going to dress again you are going to need new clothes”. We went out and got some starter outfits, some makeup and a couple of wigs. I was dressing again and really loving it. Then I met up with a local group and I’m having a great time.

      I can’t say the desire diminished or intensified with me. Sure, I loved the younger, thinner and sexier version of me, but now I’m loving it just as much. I’m working on getting the body better, improving my makeup skills and building my wardrobe again.

      In a recent gathering, this topic came up. For me it’s different. For others it got stronger. It was something they had done in secret for most of their lives and they reached a breaking point where it just had to come out. So hearing those answers, it seems to me in more cases then not, the desire does get stronger.

    • #36867

      Hi Penny,

      I feel similar.  My desire to grow breasts increases.  My doctor suggests hormone replacement therapy.  I am not sure though if I am ready to have complete transformation.  I am pretty sure that my family will not support me.  And am anxious about the prospect of losing friends and professional associates.  It is a struggles.

      Alice

    • #36870
      Anonymous

      Yes, yhay os happening to me! Im 60 and for the last year it has been unbearable! I have a storage area where I keep my clothes and JUMP at the chance to dress!

      My wife doesn’t lnow (she may suspect because I shave my body etc) but there is a voice inside my head tellong me that I am a women and I believe it. I struggle everyday! In a year and a half I plan on retiring and run away to live my life..

    • #37706
      Sallee
      Lady

      I just turned 70 and went to the dressing room here in San Diego and I dressed. I had plans on going out but didn’t make the wife had schedule a little get together. But I thought about dressing all day. I can say that no it doesn’t go away.

      I remember asking an old guy he was in his late 80’s if the desire to look at (admire) women  and I guess get turned on ever goes away. He said unequivocally NO.  I guess its the same with CDing. I love the time I get to dress and get out Its alway a thrill and fun

      Sallee

    • #38245

      The older I get the more I want to be feminine and dress as a woman.

      I would dress 24/7 if I was able to.

      I thought that the desire would go away but no. It’s coming on stronger.

      I make a very attractive and lovely woman when dressed and feel so much younger too.

      I have developed feminine mannerisms as well and I always pass as a woman when I go out.

      So in my case the desire has come on much stronger. I thought that it would go away as I got older.

      But I feel so at ease and relaxed as well as look so much better as a woman, the urge is hard to resist.

      I love to dress as and act like a woman.

      Well, that’s my story

    • #38986
      Anonymous

      Hi all,,,I have been able to surpress the feelings,,,of course making myself miserable!!  Im in my 60s now, kids grown, and recently retired from a job I loved…I keep my self busy,,sailing,,etc,,but felt like I was missing something…..ordered some hose from my fav store, and bamm!!  Felt happy, great, and finally released…Now, underdressing everyday, full dress at home, and ready to go out again as the real person inside,,Trina…

    • #38997
      Rose
      Lady

      Hi Trina. Welcome to CDH. It’s very nice to meet you. You’ll find some wonderful, amazing ladies here, whether you seek advice, friendship, or just a shoulder to lean on once in a while. I’ve learned so much in just my short time here; I’m sure you’ll get a similar benefit.

    • #39009
      Anonymous

      And I see that I’m not alone in one more desire,,,,I haven’t worn a bra for 15 year,,now have two VS Bralets, and a Body by Victoria bra,,,,, OMG,,,I’ve thought about real breasts,,but now,,,,OMG,,, I want!!!

    • #39150

      I’m 62 and I still wear lingerie everyday, but only dress up in skirt and heels once a week now. I dont have the urge to dress completely as much as I did when I was younger. But I still get totally excited wearing a skirt and heels and really enjoy the pleasure from all of it.

      I often wonder how much longer I will be able to pleasure myself as I get older and older.

    • #39154
      Anonymous

      This desire never leaves us even with aging. I was told that by a psychologist and believe it to be true. We are born with this desire and like an addiction it is with us forever so why do we fight it? Just let go and enjoy it girls

    • #39192
      Anonymous

      Your personal experience with re-emergence of your CD desires are inspiring to us “older ladies”.  I have a question:  Have you informed your loving wife about your new lady feelings?  I can only hope that she will (or already has) accepted the more feminine aspects of yourself.

      Good luck girl!

      Priscilla65

    • #39243
      Kendra
      Duchess

      Thanks for all the replies gurls

      To Pricilla65, yes I have told my wife about my renewed passion for makeup and hosiery- so she is aware – but our detente does not include her participation in my feminization activity, it is an understanding that I will not do it in front of her and she will look the other way and not complain when evidence of it confronts her

      i guess it is the difference between tolerance and acceptance or between allowing and embracing.  But compromise is part of life and our dentente is working, and that is important

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