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Many people confuse the term transgender with the term transexual. While a transexual is a transgender, a transgender is not necessarily a transexual.
Transgender is a blanket term. It covers every aspect of the gender spectrum. Transexuals, Drag Performers, Crossdressers (Transvestites), Fetishists, and every other imaginable variation that involves blurring gender norms.
As a crossdresser, are you transgender? In a word, YES!
Anyone who ‘transitions’ (once permanently or multiple times) between genders is transgender. The tricky bit is that one who goes through the anatomical and physiological process (HRT, RLE, GRS, FFS, etc.) and has completed the process is now wholly and solely that gender and so are no longer transgender. Just men or women.
Another tricky bit is the application of the terminology to, for example, performers. ‘Female impersonators’ for example adopt femininity as part of their showmanship and not necessarily as an expression of their personality. Even so, they still ‘transition’, if for different and differing motives. Actors who wear clothing as a part of the central plot present an alternate gender, so I suppose could be included in a general way.
That’s the problem. While ‘transgender’ initially had specific applications the term is actually too general to be applied to any one case, or to any limited situations. On the other hand, also in a general sense, it is usually meant to have relatively specific connotations. The result has been that some people see being transgender as being some sort of scale but the differences between situations are far too specific to validate that assumption.
Simply wearing clothing defined as feminine or masculine does not necessarily reflect a transition.
Araminta.
I have to agree there’s a wide latitude as to what is transgender, as much as labels are. That’s the problem with them, once one starts to think it through, then the label doesn’t fit, so then what am I?
I have gone through a similar dilemma, as we seems to important to many to know what we are.
When I am dressed en femme, and especially out and about, I do think of myself as a transwoman. As I am presenting as female, and I really become Amy. I know I’m the same person no matter what I wearing, but I find I can truly get into character, as it were. Rather than if I’m just trying on some clothes I just got.
Curious difference, but for me its’ real, that’s when I’m transgender.
Amy
Cara,
I think you are addressing the difference between gender and sex (which seems to be a controversial topic). I can say that I’m definitely a CD, and socially (in my head and heart) trans. But with neither hormones nor surgery, my sex remains male, or if you prefer, GM. Whereas, those who have gone the whole trans route, are now females, although not GGs; because DNA and most skeletal structural differences cannot be altered.
And I think that perhaps we worry too much about all of that.
Hugs,
Betylou
Hi Bianca im in same boat with you girlfriend I was born male and will pass away male but I would not trade my female feelings for anything there in my heart mind and sole so I love trying to dress the part of my other half as Stephanie she brings me joy and comfort which cant be replaced . Im a crossdresser I don’t feel anything past that and thanks for letting me vent I needed that girlfriend .Hugs andkisses
Stephanie Bass
Hi Cara. It is an interesting topic.
I think crossdresser and transgender ain’t the same. Life ain’t that easy.You can be one. You can be both. Perhaps most crossdressers aren’t transgender. I refuse to label myself. Labels are a burden on most occasions. Labels are a drag.
Even though I am a crossdresser long after I became aware I should have born a woman. I didn’t know then that transgerderism exist. So I learned to live my way and I’ve tried to be as happy as possible. I have met many transgender who experience it in different ways and I would be unable to critize them. I respect their point of view as it should be. I love to wear feminine clothes and I feel I am a woman although I have no plans for transition right now.
I can tell I wouldn’t trade my life with nobody. I have a pleasant life. Let us be free and love. Maybe one day we will wake up in a more understanding and empathetic world.
Gisela 💄
I think it depends on with whom you are speaking about the subject. If you consider transgender a sort of spectrum of different levels there are many things that fall in that category. Then there are folks that have gone through probably horrible experiences in their feelings of being born in the wrong body and consider transgender to be solely their description. I haven’t experienced it, but have heard of out right hostility of those folks on crossdressers, which I guess if your life experience is awful enough is understandable, sort of a, you haven’t and won’t experience what I have line of thinking.
I would think one would want as many people on their side as possible to help effect any societal changes that should come about, but that’s just me. I should say I think there are many that also view it as a spectrum from both sides of that coin. I could be totally wrong though, just basing that off of what I have seen.
Yes, a xder / CDer is person who on occasion dresses in the opposite gender’s attire for fun.
A transgender is a person who really feels he or she is trapped in the opposite gender’s body. I fall into that group since early childhood I had many more girls as friends, my best friend from 1st grade thru 7th grade was my next door neighbor daughter 2 months younger. We walked three blocks to and from school together. One day just after 2nd grade started she asked to play with her in her new play house her dad had just building. Isaid okay Karen let me tell my mom first you go home first I’ll follow it my mom says okay, it was a hot Friday I had on seersucker shorts and a tshirt, and sneakers mom says okay as long as you’re home by 6pm. It’s now 330pm. I walk to Karen’s backyard play house she there she says let’s have girls teaparty, she’s in a frilly SUNDAY school outfit. Shiny Black shoes, says to attend a Girls teaparty Jammie you should be dressed as girl , here try on this old pair my SUNDAY school shoes, they fit me well but a little b bit tight then she great now pull on this old School dress of mine over your head with its buttons on ur back my mom dresses me on Sunday morning, then me button u p just as my mom does. Now pull on my old SUNDAY school petticoat underneath the dress skirt to complete the look. Then twirl around twice to fluff up the petticoat to make the dress stand out wide, then takes my hand says now Jamie’s a girl we can have our teaparty. We finish teaparty after 30 minutes Karen says okay how about take turns playing on my swing next thing I know the wind from swing is blowing the dress skirt and down as I sat on swing. Then her mother came out Karen where is Jamie his mom called said time he was home. Karen says Jamie is here on the swing wearing my old SUNDAY school outfit we had a girls teaparty thus he should be dressed as a Girl mommy. Doesn’t Jamie look nice as a Girl I always wanted twin sisters just like friends Susan and Nancy they are twin sisters. Her mom says yes Jamie does look stunning as a young girl, did u dress him no mommy just button up the back button after telling how to put the dress on just as utold me
Okay Karen playtime is over its 530 I call his mom back to say he will be home in 15 minutes both u come in I want a photo of both of you. Then I will help take the dress off I’m sure his mother doesn’t want him wearing a dress at home. But if you want over after breakfast for few hours. But he won’t be able to wear your dress tomorrow as we have to be somewhere by 1PM. So he needs go home by 11am.
What happened that afternoon is another interesting story why consider myself being transgendered Girl trapped in a man’s body
Cara, Stephanie is sooo right on this. Only you can determine where/who you are and want to be in your life. There are now so many labels and compartments and boxes that we put ourselves in or other people do it for us without our permission, it is hard to keep everything straight. You can be a crossdresser and be straight, or bi or gay. You can also be a crossdresser and not transgender, and even be transgender but not in transition, etc. It can be so confusing it will make you crazy if you let it.
Just be you, that’s all that is needed. Be happy with yourself and how far you have come and look forward to moving even further in your journey. Don’t let other people lump you in somewhere where you won’t or can’t be happy within yourself. This is your path of discovery.
PaulaF
Personally, I do believe that crossdressers are under the transgender umbrella. I say this due to the simple matter that all cross the gender boundary between male and female. For crossdressers, it is a back and forth journey. For those who ultimately transition, it is a one way journey. Nonetheless, we have all crossed the boundary between our gender assignment at birth and the gender we would like to be (only if on a temporary basis).
Also, for some, crossdressing serves as a door opening experience that allows one to consider where their gender identity truly lies. Subsequently, they may choose to walk through that door…
I don’t have any advice since part of the reason I’m here at CDH is to find out if cross-dressing is enough for me or if I truly am transgender.
I’m leaning towards the former (for now). I’m generally finding I enjoy my life as a male as long as Amanda gets her time as well, if that makes any sense. However that could change. Although I’m happy in male mode, I feel an extra sense of love for life when I get to be Amanda.
Hugs & kisses!
-Amanda
Well, this is one if the big questions. I love it! All I can do is share who I am, which is confused! I think I’m hetero. Love looking at, attracted to women. Simultaneously, I want to know, so bad, what it is to be a woman. The complexity of being a woman engulfs me, makeup, appearance, shaving my legs etc… I love it, find it so intriguing. I want to know what it feels like to be a woman in so many ways, yet, I do not see me as transgender? Makes sense, or no sense? Can’t see myself with a man(yet) but constantly think about pleasing a man. Currently, I’m obsessed with trying to look, and feel like a woman in every way. I’m probably no help at all!
Rae
Guaranteed to start a lengthy discussion with all different opinions, every time this topic is raised.
I can only speak for myself. I am a 100% heterosexual cross dresser. I like being a man, and I have no desire to become a woman. However, I get immense enjoyment out of occasionally expressing my female-self, which includes making myself look as girly and effeminate as I possibly can.
Simples.
No.
A cross dresser is a cross dresser.
A transgender person is a transgender person.
But equally, the answer could be yes.
The prefix Trans means above, or through.
There’s a strong argument to say that any cross dressed person is “above” mere gender – in the case of MtF, you see a woman and a man simultaneously – and why not?
Any gender test you take online will reveal your percentage male and female – and I will wager that no-one scores 100% – 0%.
We’re all mixed up, in other words.
Gender is a concept, and we have 2 definitions, neither of which really apply to anybody.
What woman is 100% girly, with no aspirations to masculine things whatsoever?
Common usage of transgender is someone who identifies with the opposite gender assigned to their birth sex.
In some ways that’s true for many cross dressers – we feel the inner woman and identify with her.
But we may also identify with the inner or outer man.
This is called being gender fluid, or non-binary.
We all strive for equality, so in many ways, we’re all transgender. The traditional construct simply don’t apply any more – they’re just not relevant.
Love Laura
Hi Cara,
It’s one of those questions that everyone has a different opinion on, which is quite ironic really, given the reason such labels exist to simply matters. Like most issues that arise with human, its because of our right to freedom of speech, which means I can tell you what I think, the logic that makes me think my opinion is right, but can’t tell you your opinion is therefore wrong. What a can of worms to open. Apologies if you think I overcomplicate this, it’s just something I do, I’ll try not to though and the best way to do that is look at the two factors physical gender and sexual attraction.
But first we need to go back to the beginning, whether you believe in God (I do), the Big Bang (I partially agree) or another method, at the basis, there must be two sides, positive and negative the yin and yang, black and white AKA the binary concepts. (‘0’s and ‘1’s). I’ll not go into the details of Binary, but it’s an interesting topic if anyone ever wants to discuss. In this case, the binary 0 and 1 is female and male. Just to clarify:
For humans, female refers to the gender/sex that can bear offspring through the produce of eggs which can be fertilized by male sperm. Whereas male refers to the gender/sex that produces sperm, with which a female may be fertilized to produce offspring.
This must be what it feels like to teach biology. Therefore, a sexual attraction would be between a female and male, or a binary attraction.
Therefore, if you do not fully comply with/fit the binary or stereotypical female or male you are non-binary or more commonly referred to as LGBT or LGBTQ+ or whatever it is officially called now. The simpler and somewhat more obvious ones come first, the females attracted to females which is the L for Lesbians. Then the males attracted to males which is the G for Gay. This is where B for Bi-sexual comes into play. Bisexual refers to someone who is attracted to both female and male (like bi in bicycle, the two genders only). That’s where pansexual comes into play. Pansexual refers to someone who is attracted to everyone (female, male and non-binary). The final element in this part of the list is gender fluid (which is my personal favourite label. Why? This is a label that someone who is attracted to anyone regardless of gender/sex and often don’t care about labels, whilst ironically being labelled.
Hopefully you’re still with me as this is where it starts getting complicated, because we move onto T for Transgender, which really deserves a list of its own because it relates more so to physical gender. Transgender is the overall bracket that encompasses anyone whose gender/personality doesn’t correspond with their gender/sex of either male or female from birth. Transgender being in the LGBT spectrum has its own spectrum. (This is written from male to female, but can and does apply to female to male.)
At one end of the spectrum is male the gender/sex at birth
Though I personally don’t agree with this method as I believe it has made a mockery of people with genuine struggles, I’ve included it for the sake of completeness. So firstly, drag queens, who are males who dress up in the clothing of female primarily for comedic and financial purposes.
Secondly, there are crossdressers. These are males who wear the clothes that where designed for the body shape of a female. They do not change their personality, or any other part of themselves, they focus solely on changing their appearance.
Thirdly, there are transvestites. Though this is technically a synonym of crossdresser, I use it to describe a male who not only dresses as a female, but takes on the personality and identity of one too. This can be on either a part time basis as I do or full time as someone with a male body who has decided to live full time as a female but without any surgery or hormone drugs.
Fourthly, there is transsexual, which is someone who feels they are a female in a male body, or a male who has decided they would rather be a female. They undergo hormone replacement, surgery and other procedures to physically change their body and are commonly referred to as trans woman. Though many would consider finishing this transformation process that they are 100% female, the fact that they still can not reproduce, they are not. However, given current scientific advancements this is as close as they can possibly get to being female.
Finally, and for the sake of completeness at the other end of the spectrum, female
So, that’s what I think. It’s what the logic states, but as I said at what was supposed to be a short response, I can’t tell you that you’re wrong for thinking differently. Hope that helped, someone.
Hugs,
Isabel
I am a crossdresser, but I am not transgender. I increasingly enjoy wearing clothing typically marketed to women but I am comfortable living as a man and have no genuine drive to live my life as a woman. Hence, transgender does not apply to me.
We are all so unique that many of us do not fit easily into any of the more common labels, so we find others to express our identity. If you are ill at ease about embracing either of the two terms you mentioned, you might explore others in defining yourself, like gender non-conforming, non-binary, gender fluid, etc. Most importantly, you do not need to let someone else define you when you can define yourself much better.
Hi, This topic has got me so confused. I love wearing womens clothes and when time permits love dressing up as completly as I can as a woman. I have lots of feelings about how it feels to be treated as a woman and what a woman feels when she is dressed up particularly in sexy lingerie. However do I want to be a woman? In all honesty no, it is the emotional buzz and yes, perhaps has always been the sexual thrill I get from the dressing. Am I transexual, transgender, cross dresser, transvestite, gay, weirdo or who knows what?
Quite frankly I couldn’t give a toss, I am first and foremost a bloke but I love dressing up in womens clothing for my own pleasure so whatever category or slot you wish to put me in then so be it. Since joining CDH it is nice to know I am not unique and also good to see that others have different viewpoints but the outcome is often the same so the jury is still out on Cara’s question.
Sarah.
Cara.
No they are not the same.
Transgender folk might dress in clothes intended for the opposite sex and are therefore cross-dressing – though many of them will probably shoot you down in flames of you say that to them.
Most cross-dressers however are heterosexual, having a sexual preference for the opposite sex whilst having a penchant for wearing female style clothing – from time to time.
Hope that clears that up.
Take care girls.
Anne-Marie.
Ok, having done a fair bit of research recently, … according the the WHO, John Hopkins University and The LGBT education network – the term ‘transgender’ is an umbrella term that applies to those who have a different gender expression to the gender that they were born with. It is not related to attraction or sexuality.
Some members of the transgender community will go on to transition while others will not.
In most of the world this terminology is used correctly but for some reason in the US it’s seen as applying only to those who wish to transition. The term is not used this way as it includes the whole range of gender variants under the same heading, (about 30 of them are currently used), where Cross Dresser is just one of them.
The LGBT education network defines TransGender as – ‘’ An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from their assigned sex at birth (i.e., the sex listed on their birth certificates). Some groups define the term more broadly (e.g., by including intersex people) while other people define it more narrowly (e.g., by excluding “true transsexuals”).
Transgender people may or may not choose to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically.
While “transgender” is a popularly used word and generally seems to be a safe default term to use, some people find the term offensive as a descriptor of themselves. It is best to ask clients which terms, if any, they use or prefer.
Use “transgender”, not “transgendered”.
See Androgyne, Cisgender, Gender, Gender bender, Gender expression, Gender identity, Gender non-conforming, Genderqueer, Intersex, Sex, Transsexuals, Two Spirit.”However we are all able to make our own terminology to suit our own preference, but we are all under the Transgender umbrella.
Dawn
x
Hey Cara
I’ve thought about little else for the past two months. Prior to telling my wife in March I would have described myself as a lifelong crossdresser with frequent fetish overtones (undertones?) Having opened the floodgates I’m increasingly of the belief that the femme side of me is dominant, and I’m trying to see where the path goes.
💕Sera💕
Hmmm.
Having re-read my previous post, I have realised that I didn’t really get my point across. What I meant was that Trans, Bi, Gay, Hetro etc are all types of sexuality.
Dressing is. well….
its just what a person wears. It may at times be an indicator of the person’s sexuality but not necessarily. For example, some gay men are very masculine whilst other’s are extremely feminine. Similarly, some cross-dressers are only sexually attracted to female (cis) women, some to men and lots at various points in between.
Then there are people like me who identify as heterosexual [in my case as A-sexual] and whilst in male mode find the prospect of them having a homosexual relationships as abhorrent, but who, when in femme mode would love a sexual relationship with a man.
Sexuality is such a personal and complex thing. It can’t be flagged by something as simple as the clothing one wears.
Take care girls.
Anne-Marie.
Cara, the answer to your question depends entirely on how you use the word “transgender”. Originally it was coined to distinguish a certain group of people from transexuals and crossdressers. Even that original definition has gotten muddied over the years but it included people who today identify as genderfluid, non-binary gendered, androgynes (Here. Oh, sorry.), and similar identities. I have no idea how or when it also came to mean the entire transgender community. And I certainly have no idea how or why some people (mostly outside the transgender community) see it solely as a synonym for transexual, and the preferred term at that. (My apologies to the person who used the term that way to describe herself. No offense is intended.)
For 20 years I would tell you that while I do crossdress I’m not a crossdresser. (Now I’m not sure if i’m transgendered or just a crossdresser who’s a bit different than most.) What I meant by that was that although I wear a mix of mens and womens clothes I do it for the same reason men wear mens clothes and women wear womens clothes. Part of me is still a mix of male and female so it’s only natural to me to dress the same way. It’s like how cowboys prefer to wear jeans and western shirts. Am I making any sense here?
What makes things even more confusing is there aren’t really any hard and fast rules you can use to say “oh, then you’re this”. Even when you can perfectly describe how you are finding the “right” label isn’t always straightforward. I remember very clearly the post I made on a transgender support site where my description of myself fit “androgyne” to a T but I didn’t realize that yet. I asked the community what I was. One of the mods replied that I knew what I was but it might take a little time for me to realize it. This was 20 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday.
Someone posted in this thread that some people here are really more transgendered than they realize. I agree. But that’s my opinion and I wouldn’t dare tell them “hey, you know…”. What anybody identifies as or what they choose to call themselves is a very personal matter. Two people who say the exact same things may call themselves two different things.
Confused? Good. That means you understand perfectly. If you want you can spend some time really trying to get to know what all these terms and identities mean but remember that everything you read is simply someone’s opinion, no matter how common that is. I don’t care what I call myself. Like I said in my profile, a rose by any other name and all that. But some people are going to know what identity to use for me as a shorthand. I’m kind of partial to the identity some people who have gone beyond labels like to use: “flying spaghetti monster”.
In short (there you go again with that word “short” Amber) don’t worry about it. You say potato, I say potahto, let’s call the whole thing off.
I think you can be a crossdresser and have no feelings or desire to be the opposite sex. There are many crossdressers who just like the clothes and feel there should be no gender restrictions on the clothes you wear. You can also emulate female features with breastforms, wigs and other things. And still have no interest in going through the transgender phase. So I think crossdressing and transgender are two different things. With transgender, you feel you are the wrong sex and want to change to make it right.
…in this context I found this interesting, especially this bit for me:
“There’s no wrong way to be trans or nonbinary; if you feel like those words approximate what you’re feeling, then run with it. The only person who gets to decide your gender, and what that means, is you. (And I don’t want to freak you out, but dysphoria can intensify after you come out to yourself — think of it as your brain finally giving itself permission to feel.)
https://www.them.us/story/how-do-i-know-if-im-transfeminine/amp
Seraphina 💕
Many of you are still confusing the term Transgender with the term Transexual. As terms, they are not mutually exclusive. While a transexual is in fact transgender, a transgender is not necessarily a transexual.
If you are a transvestite (crossdresser) you are in fact transgender, though not necessarily a transexual.
Transgenderism is irrespective of sexuality.
Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their sex assigned at birth.<sup id=”cite_ref-Altilio_1-0″ class=”reference”>[1]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-Forsyth_2-0″ class=”reference”>[2]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-Berg-Weger_3-0″ class=”reference”>[3]</sup> Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual.<sup id=”cite_ref-Bevan_4-0″ class=”reference”>[4]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-Polly_5-0″ class=”reference”>[5]</sup> Transgender, often shortened as trans, is also an umbrella term. In addition to including people whose gender identity is the opposite of their assigned sex (trans men and trans women), it may include people who are not exclusively masculine or feminine (people who are non-binary or genderqueer, including bigender, pangender, genderfluid, or agender).<sup id=”cite_ref-Forsyth_2-1″ class=”reference”>[2]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-glaad.org_6-0″ class=”reference”>[6]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-Bilodeau_7-0″ class=”reference”>[7]</sup> Other definitions of transgender also include people who belong to a third gender, or else conceptualize transgender people as a third gender.<sup id=”cite_ref-Stryker3G_8-0″ class=”reference”>[8]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-Chrisler_9-0″ class=”reference”>[9]</sup> The term transgender may be defined very broadly to include cross-dressers.<sup id=”cite_ref-ReisnerEtAl_10-0″ class=”reference”>[10]</sup>
Being transgender is independent of sexual orientation.<sup id=”cite_ref-apahelp_11-0″ class=”reference”>[11]</sup> Transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, or may decline to label their sexual orientation. The term transgender is also distinguished from intersex, a term that describes people born with physical sex characteristics “that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies”.<sup id=”cite_ref-unfe-fact_12-0″ class=”reference”>[12]</sup> The opposite of transgender is cisgender, which describes persons whose gender identity or expression matches their assigned sex.<sup id=”cite_ref-cisgenderdef_13-0″ class=”reference”>[13]</sup>
The degree to which individuals feel genuine, authentic, and comfortable within their external appearance and accept their genuine identity has been called transgender congruence.<sup id=”cite_ref-10.1177/0361684312442161_14-0″ class=”reference”>[14]</sup> Many transgender people experience gender dysphoria, and some seek medical treatments such as hormone replacement therapy, sex reassignment surgery, or psychotherapy.<sup id=”cite_ref-Maizes_15-0″ class=”reference”>[15]</sup> Not all transgender people desire these treatments, and some cannot undergo them for financial or medical reasons.<sup id=”cite_ref-Maizes_15-1″ class=”reference”>[15]</sup><sup id=”cite_ref-16″ class=”reference”>[16]</sup>
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/trans-
From this, I would say yes.
Cross dressing is an act of going through or above gender norms.
We defy the common description of how a person with our assigned gender should look, or even be.
Transgender works for me – although I think common usage is narrower, and defines a Transgender person as one who has completed a physical change, rather than simply put on clothing associated with the opposite sex.
Words can be such slippery things!
Love Laura
Sounds like a good life to me, Bobbi. I’m happy for you.
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