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Like me, I have this paranoia of facial recognition to be used against me and lead to my real address and identity. So when ever my photo is taken digitally. I always try to hide eyes and face. Now with old fashion film camera, take as many as you want.
Plus a future employer might see them, and they could use that as a case against me to fire me. Sure there are laws to protect people, but there is always a work around way to fire someone.
Just look how people are being fired all the time for their social media post. There is no freedom of speech in social media.
So that’s why I am kind of secretive on here.
Here is an update:
To farther explain myself to another user, this is what I told them.
Oh, I know the paranoia real well. But my real worry comes from 3 letter government agencies and hackers using facial recognition software to be used against me and lead to my real address and identity.
That’s also another reason for not being a paid member. Websites get hacked all the time, Now I would become a paid member if I never even have to expose my own real ID to CDH. Say like pay with some kind of Bitcoin, cryptocurrencies, or some kind of virtual currencies. Where like none of my real information is never exposed online.
Unfortunately, CDH don’t offer them types of payments systems. I truly want to be anonymous and stay anonymous with my online usage.
Like I said I am PARANOID of the all seeing eye
True, society has become overly-intrusive, and privacy no longer exists. But I have reached a stage in life where it no longer matters: Long ago retired, financially independent, and my male persona was mostly a hermit, so no social ties. I can remember catching some flak because of my attitude in my younger days, before social media and the internet. Had those things existed at he time, I would probably not have handled it very well. “Progress” does have
its downside.Bettylou
I am not worried at all of posting pictures, just wish i could figure out how to post them here. Probably will master that skill soon. Not worried about job loss, I can’t be fired just for cross dressing and at 66 yo I don’t care. I am sure some at work suspect something because of my now shoulder length hair and pierced ears. In fact I have toyed with the idea of stopping in on a payday that I have the day off and going in completely in fem – dress and makeup and all
Now other places may be more of a problem. I have come out to 2 of my 4 brothers, the other 2 are the more conservative ones and may not be as accepting as the other 2. Then there is telling my mother who has alzheimer’s, I think she will be totally confused but at least somewhat accepting.
The last problem for me is my church, I am a member of a small, rural catholic church. I need to consult with a Priest and some on the church counsil here. I have no problem continuing to dress in drab there but I really don’t want to get my hair cut. If I were to guess some there would not have a problem if I wanted to dress in fem there but at least a few would have a hissy fit. Or maybe after consulting with a priest he will tell me to quit one or the other CD or the church.
Sandy
I voted for maybe, but let me explain. At first I was so concerned about showing my face here, and you can look at my older pictures where I’ve hidden my fave in some manner. However I have got over being ashamed of my femme self, and now post full face. I’ve even used a picture of myself as a cover photo for a number of the articles I’ve written for CDH.
Like Bettylou I am now retired, finally financially independent. Some people in my life know about Amy, but not everyone, and for now I am keeping it that way. Though the circle is slowly but steadily widening. Since I don’t live 24/7 as a woman I’m like so many others where there are folks in my family and friends who might not be so accepting, however if some were to find out about my femme side, I will just have to ride it out.
Part of this that all the secrecy over the years has bothered me, and still does, but I’m courageous enough to come right out to everyone.
Even when I was working there were some who lived alt lifestyles of one kind or another so I suspect that there wouldn’t have been any serious repercussions which affected my work. Part of that is living in Canada, where same sex marriages have been legal since 2005, and there seems to have been quite a trickle down effect of acceptance. Certainly discrimination exists here, but it is much less than it used to be.
Amy
I just don’t trust the internet , so I post no pics
CDH…A SECURE ” HEAVENLY PLACE”.
I am also Retired. That gives one a sense of freedom, a release of prior bonds of restrictions. I love my style . I feel my need to express my inner needs with my Sisterhood, while I can . At 74 it won’t be long my expression will be reduced.
I will continue to post pics as long as I am proud of my appearance. I will encourage others to do the same.
Later, Ladies…
Dr.T.J.
The photos I post are so different from my male appearance that it’s unlikely anyone would connect the dots. I’m not very concerned about family, friends, and businesses I patronize. Some of them know anyway. Work is my only concern. Some of the people I work with are very conservative and I’d lose their respect. That would make things difficult. It’s a team environment. Since I live in California, I can’t be fired.
Well that’s good, but in California is employment At-Will state and most employees in California are considered to be “at-will” employees. At-Will employment means that the employee is free to leave their jobs at any time and employers are likewise free to fire the employee at any time for any lawful reason—or even no reason at all. So yeah, even you can be fired.
Unless your job falls under few special rules. Like an employment contract that requires renewal time line, or you’re a member of certain labor unions.
Wisconsin has the same employment law as California, both are At-Will employment.
Most states are at-will, including CA. But that’s insufficient grounds for termination of a trans employee. The firing has to be legal. Title VII of the Civil Rights Act protects trans workers from employment discrimination. Title VII was recently upheld by the Supreme Court, BTW. Further, the California Fair Housing Employment Act has additional protection for trans workers.
Regardless, I’m past minimum retirement age. I’d prefer to work 3 more years, but I can leave anytime with little consequence.
A quick search found these:
https://www.aclunc.org/our-work/know-your-rights/california-lgbtq-employment-rights
Excellent topic and one that had troubled me for many years! I had always been concerned about my familial relations – and to be frank don’t quite give a damn about others opinions on my love of being feminine.. However I am young and bold and have had the grace to grow up in a more open minded state among open minded people. Coming out as trans and simply being transparent about myself and this side of me to my family may mark my happiest moment in life. – Retrospectively I would’ve preferred I had come out long ago but I am who I am. Right now today in 2020 the majority of people are open minded or inclusive. However there is toxicity on both sides of the spectrum when it comes to these things.. If you believe you can handle the controversy opposition only serves to make you stronger.. In Mind , Spirit , and hopefully body! 😉 The world truly needs more strong role models to help lead the way for many of the poor lost ladies out there.. and while i cannot say I’m perfect I would however say that we can and should all attempt to make an effort to lead by example turn the other cheek and show everyone just how wonderful we can all be. <3 .. As for “leaking” yourself online I’d say that absolutely is possible.. just like having your mail stolen or your car broken into.. however my truck is out front of my garage.. and I don’t check my mail for days at a time… It’s sadly life..
Let Chaos surround you , And harmony flow through you.
-ThalielHi Hippie
I am quite happy to post, what you see is what you get, no smoke or mirrors….just grace
..I’m not really out officially to anyone, but I’m not hiding either…
it’s really the same when I go out, if I’m ” picked”, then good for you, but live with it because that’s what I do, and I’m not going anywhere!!!.
I fully understand the other side of the coin, I really do, it’s all down to circumstances and I love you no less for whatever your reasons…
Merry Christmas, grace ❤️❤️
I go out as Laura, and am well aware that tourists take pictures of the funny tall man dressed like a lady – and there’s a newspaper photographer I meet every time I’m out, who takes pictures of me with various people, especially drag queens.
I’ve never actually seen any of his pictures, but, as I don’t live locally to him, I probably never will – but I am really happy with what I look like, and I discussed this with my wife, who surprised me by being like whatever – if someone recognises me, so what?
As long as she’s happy, I’m happy!
Work can sack me – I’ll get another job like I have many times. I won’t pretend it’s not stressful, but it’s life. I’ve had 5 jobs in the last 5 years, and my industry, remote computing, just went viral.
Bad joke, bad Laura, back to the naughty corner, I know….
Love Laura
I worry about family or work seeing my pics and would only post here because, well if you’re a member of this site, presumably you aren’t going to judge me! I get a thrill from posting – so its also a good nervous – because I’m not able to go out. I use face app because I have a beard so its pretty likely no one would recognize me. My wife tolerates my wearing lingerie but as soon as I shave the beard she’s going to know why and I guess I’m not ready for that. Thank heavens for FaceApp😊
Thank you for sharing, but I do have a question. And I don’t want to sound like an old coot, but what is this thing I hear people talk about call Face App. What is it and what its about?
It’s an app that you use on your phone.
I don’t know what devices it supports, or if there’s a PC version, but I suspect it’s Android/Apple only, like most apps.
It’s very popular – I used it for my profile picture and 1 clearly marked picture in my public gallery.
The other 2 are all me – and boy does it show!
Love Laura
It’s a modern miracle, or possibly a curse!
One click and you end up entranced by your own image.
It’s the devil’s work, I tell you.
Devilishly good!
Certainly gives me something to aim my makeup skills at which, for any artist, should be a welcome challenge.
The look on the makeup artist’s face when I showed her a FaceApped picture of me and said “I want to look like that!” was priceless.
I love Poppy – she did a first class job on a 3rd rate face 😁
Love Laura
At first I was.
As I’ve explored the forums and articles here at CDH over the past few months and interacted with so many fantastic ladies (all of whom at are at various stages in their lives as well as various stages of their self acceptance and personal journeys) the questions I had have been answered, mostly, and I decided that this was whom I am.
To the world at large I am still my drab self, but should I find Rei ‘outed’ beyond my control than I am prepared, perhaps even a little excited, to deal with the consequences.
Before I retired from work, my staff raised over $1000 for charity if I would dress en femme. The intent was to embarrass me (little did they know I was looking forward to it). My Executive Assistant arranged a full makeover for me. The Mayor’s Assistant and I went out clothes, shoes and accessories shopping. My unveiling was at a luncheon attended by just over a hundred staff. So there are photos of me en femme everywhere; Pinterest, Facebook, here of course, and who knows where else they were posted. I even have fotos of me en femme on my phone to show folks. I’ve never had a negative reaction from anyone; mostly compliments. Stay healthy, stay safe, All the Best, Hugs, Krista.
A professional makeover, shoes, clothing jewelry Etc all I’m the company credit card along with a luncheon and permission to Sashay freely for the afternoon? Sounds like the Ultimate Dream for most of us girls on here! I would have loved to watch your Brer Rabbit impersonation. Please don’t make me wear that lovely dress. LOL.
I voted maybe for some one might see it on line and know that person dressed up, but then i should of said no for at this point of time and who would see it besides the people on C.D.H, if they would know me they would not say any thing. us girls are here to find peace and friends that are x dressers them selfs and chat.
I hate it. I love it. No, really, I hate it.
But I’ve done it. Like many on here, I’m intensely paranoid about Gallery photos of mine being discovered by anyone, ANYONE, outside of CDH. My whole life, I despised having my picture taken. The camera is not kind to me, nor is the mirror, but they speak the truth. And I don’t like it.
It took me a year as a member of CDH before I dared post my first pic. And even then, I would never have done it without the gentle coaxing from a good friend here at CDH. I’ll never post to “PUBLIC PHOTOS”, only to my “PRIVATE GALLERY”, and even there I worry that I may be discovered dressed (OMG!), by some LBGTQ-CD-hating person I know (like a brother, or former work acquaintance). My lives (both drab and femme) would be hell thereafter.
I’m not especially proud of the pics I’ve posted on here (heavens, who would be?), but I’m glad I did it. I believe that my CDH sisters deserve to know what this ol’ gal looks like if I intend to remain a part of this community – and I hope to.
So, I go on with the worry and the paranoia, dreading the day when someone might say to me in person, “Ya’ know, I saw a photo of this tranny fag on the internet the other day…. looked a lot like you in drag…. so, I’m just wondering….”.
Oh, I know the paranoia real well. But my real worry comes from 3 letter government agencies and hackers using facial recognition software to be used against me and lead to my real address and identity.
That’s also another reason for not being a paid member. Websites get hacked all the time, Now I would become a paid member if I never even have to expose my own real ID to CDH. Say like pay with some kind of Bitcoin, cryptocurrencies, or some kind of virtual currencies. Where like none of my real information is never exposed online.
Unfortunately, CDH don’t offer them types of payments systems. I truly want to be anonymous and stay anonymous with my online usage.
Like I said I am PARANOID of the all seeing eye
Sadly, we do live in an age where freedom of speech and expression have died, especially on social media. Likewise, pics are routinely stolen, misused, edited, altered — you name it.
Nervous, no. Extremely cautious? Hell yes.
I’ve gotten to the point that I really don’t care.You can’t be blackmailed if you don’t feel threatened. As for getting fired? Ha! I wouldn’t want to work there if it was that big of a deal. NO WAY is an employer going to dictate my personal life away from the workplace. Again, as far as being exposed ? There’s probably more people aware of your crossdressing than you realize-and aren’t as freaked out as you fear. No one can hold this over you if you aren’t afraid. We are wonderful, beautiful, interesting people…absolutely no shame in that! I’m only nervous about what you girls think of my outfit!
I think that what goes on internet stays on internet so once you posted something it’s there forever. Because of that (and my introvert nature) I don’t post much on internet to start with and when it comes to pictures I don’t have selfies of my male self (taken one in my life so far, for a photo id at work).
I do have a personal restricted album of a ton of Kelly selfies that I only share with my wife and daughter and while it is “in the cloud” (AKA some one elses computer) I’m not to worried about it.I have considered posting selfie pics of me here on CDH and major reason I don’t is that I’m a lady with max 5 pics so I leave that for now.
I’m not afraid that any of my friends/family would recognise my CDH pic (they probably would) because if they do it also means they are here and why would they be here on CDH?, maybe that person is a closet CD also just like me./kt
Nope! Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Everyone that I know is aware of who I am and those family members of mine wouldn’t think to look for a website like this to see anything anyway!… So, no shocks waiting for me! I’m proud to show off who I am and what I’ve become. 🙂
Thanks!
Hi Hippie!
I voted yes. I get very very nervous. My greatest fear would be someone getting pictures of me dressed and giving them to my wife. She only knows I wear panties and paint my toe nails. She may suspect other things, but the hot and cold feelings I get from her on the subject have kept me from having the talk with her.
That’s not to say that her opinion is the only one that matters to me. Just the most important. Work would be disastrous. Not that there aren’t accepting workers in the construction field I am in, I consider myself one after all. I just know I am in a minute minority in those regards. As for family my kids, they would be flipped out but 3 out of 4 would recover eventually I think. As for my generation and older, there isn’t that much acceptance in my family. There have been many times I have thought I must have been switched at birth. Maybe a few times I wished for proof. I love them. I just don’t get their narrow mindedness.
I have just the one photo right now in my private gallery. If I ever manage to get my wife onboard with this…… she loves to take photos….
Hugs
Autumn
P.S. Hippie I want a pair like that!
I was born in the late 60s and I know the generation gap going on. Like my senior family members (ones older than me) They already give me grief. Because a photo got outside my household of me in a two piece bikini.
I just played it off as playing a prank on my buddy. So this Christmas I went and had Christmas cards made up of me in the hot pink bikini and on the bottom it says “wish you were have, having a great time”
I figure play it up and let it be a running joke to keep the peace of the older family members that don’t get it.
When I first started at another site, I always wondered why people who wanted to remain anonymous would post pictures of themselves, even if their face wasn’t in the picture (and sometimes people did post pictures with their faces). I was nervous even to have my screen name as the last poster on a topic, afraid that someone would recognize me from my screen name.
When I had my first makeover, I wanted to show pictures to others. I used the digital block effect filter (making super large pixels) on my face. (Later I realized that squinting can make the image more visible.) But a few months later when I went to a meetup group of CD/TG ladies and supporters, when I was asked if I wanted to be in a group photo to be put up on the meetup group’s website (no pressure, just asked), I only hesitated for a moment before saying yes. As I got more confident, I started to realize that if I could let strangers see me, that I would let my online friends see me as well, full face.
One time the group did some shopping at Dress Barn. I invited my (then) wife to go out. We took photos at the diner, and then took a group photo when we returned. Later, her sister found the pictures online. My guess is she was doing an image search for my (ex) wife and found the photo. My SIL told my ex that she didn’t approve of me dressing like a woman, but never said anything to me. My feeling was that I never asked nor needed her approval. The ability to just go out dressed and not be made fun of was something I wanted my whole life.
I’m not ashamed of who I am. My company has policies protecting the rights of people of different gender or gender expression. Although I still have people I would rather not know, it is more of because I don’t want to go into long winded explanations of why I am this way or answer question after question.
Hippie, if you’re worried about cameras, you should never go out at all. There are cameras everywhere nowadays. In stores, in front of stores, in streets, on roads. Some internet doorbells have cameras. Everyone walking around has a camera, and could take a picture of you without your knowing it and post it somewhere. Many people have their GPS turned on and the information may be stored in the exif data of the photo. I spent 50+ years of my life in hiding, and can’t do it any more. I have to be who I am.
If you’re worried about people hacking into CDH, buy yourself a gift card and use that for a few months before switching it out. Or many credit card companies can make virtual cards.
If you’re worried about the government finding out who you are or where you live, they can probably do that anyway if they wanted. Whenever you go online, you leave your internet address behind. This could be traced through your ISP back to you if they really wanted to. If you post a picture of yourself at home and block out your face, someone might recognize your house or your neighborhood.
Everybody has to choose their own comfort level. But don’t fool yourself into believing your perfectly safe by not posting a photo of yourself or of your face. We all leave digital fingerprints behind that, given the need and enough resources, could be used to trace us.
No cos a/. like the other “mature types” who are members here, (Hi Amy), I’m retired so no employment concerns and b/., like other have said when in full Caty mode, (aka had a professional makeover aka I wont post unless this has occured), I bare no resemblance to the male me.
If I post any shots where I have either done my own make up, out comes the black Microsoft “Paint” brush and my “boat race”, (Cockney slang for face..) is eliminated.
Caty
Personally no I am not. I was born in the 1950s and I have been cross-dressing since about Age 3 , so I had to hide for a very long time and even tried to tell myself I was a manly man for a Time. Actually I am but I love feminine things and have come to terms with the fact that I am a crossdresser. If a Salesman or delivery person comes to the door I answer it as long as I am wearing something I would go out in, so putting a picture out there is pretty much the same. If some one who did not know saw my picture on crossdresser Heaven I would ask them what they were doing looking at pictures of cross-dressers. The place I work has all kinds of protections for lgbtq Etc. I don’t go around saying hello I`m a crossdresser when I am dressed in drab but I don’t do a lot to hide it. I almost always wear women’s pants underwear and often blouses. Occasionally I wear women’s shoes or boots as well
Hi Hippie, I’ve already come out to the people that matter to me and live in the UK, which I believe has alot of Protection against discrimination. I’m thinking about coming out at work soon anyway so I don’t particularly mind posting pictures. As for people who don’t know seeing them, they wouldn’t see them unless they came here in which case they probably have a similar secret. So in short I don’t mind posting pics.
Love Tish
Just remember life is short I am proud of my pictures and who I am . Its sad we need to hide and not be ourselves . I have gone many years myself hiding and sneaking around . I woke up one day about ten years ago and just told my wife I was a crossdresser . I had been married for over thirty years she never knew. Today I am still married to the same woman we are best friends and lovers . Any ways today if someone was to see my picture they probably wouldn’t say anything to me and if they did good for them. Do what you need to do to keep the lights on but just remember where not doing any thing wrong.
Initially I was really reluctant to post a picture. Even though no one knows other than my supportive wife, I finally found the courage to do it. I became very comfortable with the CDH site and all the wonderful gurls that I have found here. Although I have not been out locally full enfemme, I posted the picture after my first public outing with her away from home. I wanted to show other nervous gurls that it was really okay and also that you don’t have to be perfect to go out or post a picture here. I want to post another but have not taken that “perfect one” yet. Soon?? Stephanie
[postquote quote=421896]
Someone recently told me something that I found to be true.People in their 20s worry about what people think about them.
People in their forties don’t care so much what people think about them.
People in their sixties realize that nobody ever thought too much about them in the first place.
Yes, that makes a lot of sense. In my 20s I hid the fact, In my 30s I was starting to get comfortable within, By the time I hit my 40s I didn’t care if real life people knew, and now in my early 50s. My only big worries about crossdressing is my internet use being used against me. Say like if one day I wanted to run for a political office say mayor, governor, senate, congress, heck even maybe even president. That is my biggest fear now days over crossdressing.
Most recent look at the crap they pulled on Trump and how they dug up everything in the mans past
I have a very dark view of politics. If you don’t have anything in your past they will make something up. Remember pizzagate? I think if I was running for office and they came up with pictures I would just own it. If you look at them and say so what? Is that all you got? They probably wouldn’t know what to do. In this day and age I don’t think anybody really cares too much anymore. At least not anybody who would vote for me given the issues and platform I would push forward.
For me anyway it all depends on how many glasses of wine I’ve had.
No, really it wanders between being absolutely terrified…and feeling like well so what? it’s me, its who I am.
I’ve taken hundreds of photos of myself from the days of Polaroid instant cameras to smart phones including movies both 8mm digital and android smart phone (yes I suppose just a tad narcissistic but hey whatever. I do still have one of me from back around 1987…when the world was still young and I was not much older.
I see some photos of absolutely gorgeous women here and wonder if I should even bother to take a selfie ever again. Yes I know some might have been oh let’s say touched up um slightly… but still. I have no interest in doing that tho I have one where I used an app to change the background . It looks oh reasonable and maybe I’ll post it but fully explaining what I did .
I do take lots and the 3 I have posted here are each one if a number of poses and I’m not sure I’m even that happy with them
But I’ll probably still keep posting a few here just not often.
I have another question to add on here.
In my pictures on here, I wear a mask, because I still have the dreaded beard. should I show it? someday, i Know it is going to come off, but in the meantime? My wife say’s it is not very ladylike
Regi.Hippie, it’s called cross dressing – if you want to keep the beard, there are no rules saying it’s not allowed!
I’ve seen and talked to men with beards in dresses with full makeup – they were happy to be themselves, and that’s what counts.
If you can get past other people’s opinions on the subject, and prepare yourself mentally that some narrow-minded people will find something negative to say, you’ll be good.
The wife’s opinion is one that should be treated with respect, of course, but do what suits you best!
Love Laura
I know it sounds a little odd, but back in the days of dominance by the Poloroid system, I was never very camera shy, and still have a couple of albums of me and my friends from back then. Some of the film we used back then was not the best made as many pictures have dimmed to greater and lesser degrees, while some still look like they were taken only recently. But those pictures were kept among friends and not widely circulated.
With the advent of posting a pic online to show your new friends yourself, and also what can be done with those pics by some unscrupulous people, has made me pretty much camera shy, for the most part. I find that I am kind of the opposite of so many people now with regards to showing myself online. Some people take hundreds of selfies where I think I have all of a dozen on my phone. I have quite a few on my laptop, but those don’t get shared much except with family or close friends. And yes, some of them are definitely rated R+ and stronger, but those stay exactly where they are, locked in a secure folder on my laptop, and those very candid Polaroid’s are in a box hidden deep in one of my closets.
PaulaF
Hi, since I got very confident and started going out in public as “Helene”, the “fear” of showing my pictures have been greatly reduced! My first makeover more than 14 years ago frightened me as pictures were taken by the organizers, although “private”… and with another name and country, yet I am still trying to be careful and not showing pictures which may lead to my location or that I am a “man” (ie. I only select my best female pictures). However, today with modern technology almost everything is possible to put a male picture with a female body and also the fact that if one has a picture on some sites similar to this, you risk to get your picture out in public, just try to type your female name on Google and you might be surprised!
When I was in my early 20’s I had a ton of pictures, on a digital camera and I almost joined a group back then that I was going to post them to. I got so nervous based on what if my family sees these or the people I work with, I got really sketched out and ended up deleting them.
I used to be VERY concerned about photos of me getting out. But at this point in my development, I really am not concerned about my photos leaking out. I am who I am, and if people have an issue with me being a cross dresser, they don’t have to my friend, or a family member, or anything. I can live happily by myself.
Not at all. I like myself and I am proud of who I am. I can be seen as my true self everyday and everywhere I go, so there is no reason to be nervous. If people have seen my pics I just hope they like them. If anyone doesn’t like them and wants to make disparaging remarks, they need to have a Coke & a smile and shut the f*** up.
See its not so much the people seeing. It the the letter government agency’s. Like CIA, FBI and so on.
See I’m also a conspiracy freak and I’m afraid that they might used facial recognition to use against me. Say like when I run for political office or when Nazi raise up again and start rounding people up.
Look I’m not saying that it will happen, but my fear of it might happen.
Who knows they might have enough dirt on me already to try and blackmail me if I did run for a political office
I’ve going out in public dressed since I was 17. It was usually in short shorts, pantyhose and platform wedges and a long shirt over the short shorts to conceal I really didn’t have the hips.Sometimes the shirts covered the shorts looking like I was wearing a short dress. I grew my hair longer and when I went out I tried to go further away from home, figuring the chance of being seen by those I know would be greatly reduced. Even though I was out in public, I wanted to keep my hobby private from friends and family.
Then at 18 when I began dressing fully en femme, I was less concerned about getting noticed by someone I knew. I looked a lot different in Patty mode and worked to make it that way. I began going out closer to home. I did see people I knew and got very nervous about it. Maybe I should take my dressing in public further from home. I was waiting for the talk from those who saw me. That never happened. Apparently they didn’t recognize me. Even though I was dressing and going out a lot, I still wanted to keep it private from friends and family.
I used to take a lot of photos and post them on a free website. But it was always of my legs in pantyhose, heels and short dresses. I was concerned about getting recognized if I put up whole pictures of myself as Patty. I was still trying to keep it private.
I’ve met other girls who were scared to go out, fearing they might be seen and recognized. But a few would take lots of photos and enjoyed posting them online. Like many things with dressing that don’t make sense to me, I wondered how they could be so scared to dress and go out with the teeny chance of being seen and recognized by someone they know. but having no reservations about posting photo where maybe hundreds, thousands or even millions could see them.
There is a few photos here and there of me as Patty. I was having fun when those photos were taken and there was others around. I was in a group and was one of the girls.
So even though I sometimes go out dressed, I hope I don’t encounter anyone I know, get recognized and out myself to everyone I now. I’m still trying to keep Patty sort of private. Lot’s of photos all over the place I don’t think will help with that.
See I wish it was just that fear. Me I could careless about regular people or seeing. Its the governments little 3 letter agency’s. CIA, FBI, HLS, NSA you get the idea.
See I want to run for a political office one day and you get the idea.
Just look at the stuff they pulled on the last four presidents.
I believe in the saying; once on the web/net, always on the web/net. Because of this I never got ensnared by the allure of social media sites and uploading photos. An e-mail was as far as I went for what seemed forever, and I barely used it. I’ve only posted like about 3 comments on fan community sites in the past. But then I found CDH and the floodwaters were unleashed. 8/1/19 I joined and on the 6th I took my first en fem selfie (my first selfie ever). A few days later a CDH friend helped me upload the en fem selfie as my profile photo. As of late August and early September 2020 I have my 5 limit photos that I can upload to my photo page. The only thing is, I can’t remember how to upload them. The CDH friend who helped upload my profile photo is willing to help me again, once social gatherings are allowed to resume in our area.
Making that choice the first time took some building up to (and yes, wine) but I really felt it came down to a yes or no choice between acknowledging what I did know and could absolutely see in myself, or staying invisible under the shadow of things I didn’t or couldn’t know. ‘Breaking the blackmail’ as Virginia Prince put it-she made a point of coming out to her father exactly because he was the person she wanted least to discover her.
One thing I would feel better about, would be if the site were programmed to disable right click-save as when viewing images. I have been on clothing retailer sites where I wanted to ‘file’ a picture of an item I wanted and all means of saving or screenshotting a copyrighted image have some form of security enabled to stop that from occurring.
Also, before I post I try to remember to go into the photo properties and wipe out any identifying info. Based on tests I’ve done downloading the same images I’ve uploaded, as far as I can tell the site is scrubbing identifying info off the images anyway but doing it on my own makes me feel better regardless.
Finally it is conflicting, but I’ve tried to think about how things could be differently balanced between requiring completed profiles or photos, and the reality that members are just not in a position where they feel safe doing that. Are there any features that would make users feel safer sharing photos and information that they would otherwise hold back? Ultimately it is trust between members with those things are the key building friendships here.
Thanks Jill. One thing I’d like to see modified on Profiles is “date of birth”. I don’t recommend anyone put their dob out there and I see that many users leave that blank. However, I would like to know age or at least age range of other ladies. Not trying to be age-ist, but I think it’s helpful in knowing where someone is coming from.
Clara’s 2 cents
I voted yes and if I could Id vote twice. I’ve been a member here for about a month and i just posted my first picture. It’s kind of incognito but who knows if it really is. I feel that having a face with a name is important even if it’s through dark sunglasses. We are exchanging personal stories with each other and it’s nice to think we can show each other what we look like. Facial recognition is a mofo. I’m not worried about a random person looking but if it can be used against us via facial recognition that’s a sad scenario. The internet gave us this great site where we can get together and share but also puts us in fear of discovery and ridicule.
For all the reasons given by others I have resisted posting any public photos showing my face until two days ago. Having thought about it long and hard I decided to ‘come out’ as a crossdresser. I doubt very much whether anyone would recognise me but if they did I would just have to own up to it. I enjoy crossdressing and it is a harmless activity – it is who I am, so I posted my first public photo. I was extremely nervous but did it nevertheless. It is a relief somehow.
Hi Diane. I applaud your courage. Look at the bright side if someone recognizes you they are probably members. Or closeted and longing to join. Maybe you already have a Freind with similar interests and if not that person might have some explaining to do. Hmm wonder how he found your picture? Was he trolling the internet looking at pictures of cders. Why was he doing that? That individual might want to keep his mouth shut. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that but I’ve thought about it plenty.
Thank you for your reply Melanie.
That is exactly the reasoning I followed before I decided to take the plunge. As you say, I hope it never comes to it. I have found the whole experience very liberating and will continue when I have some photos I think are worth posting!
Diane x
Yes and the only way that I will post a photo is from the neck down. I will not show my face. But right now there is no one here to take photos of me dressed en-femme. I know , I can take a full frontal photo and crop my head off, but I still don’t have anyone to take the photo. I am here alone.
Kathleen
Agree with this one. CDH is just the right place for these pictures, because although there’s a statistical chance somebody I know might see them, basically, any picture posted here is protected by its context. It is surrounded by hundreds of other CD pictures. So I feel pretty comfortable, and I don’t blank out my face, otherwise all that hair, makeup and jewelery is for naught!
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