Are you nicer as a woman than as a man?

You must be logged in to participate.
  • Always
  • Mostly
  • Sometimes
  • No
  • Other
  • This topic has 39 replies, 37 voices, and was last updated 3 months ago by Anonymous.
  • Creator
  • #664776
    Topics: 0
    Replies: 0
    Has thanked: 0 times
    Been thanked: 0 times

    Hi  ladies!

    Here’s an interesting question for you. Are you nicer as a woman, that is, as your female self, than you are as a man?

    I started thinking about this when I read a comment from one of our sisters that she is nicer when she’s en femme. Then I started thinking about myself, and realized that there’s probably more truth to that statement than I like to admit. I know that when I’m Holly, I’m calmer and more relaxed, more patient, more caring, more open, less judgemental, I don’t curse as much, I don’t have to be the driving force, I’m not always right, etc. In other words, yes, there are times when I’m in male mode that I’m a real jerk, so I’m much easier to get along with, be around, and overall I’m a nicer person when I’m en femme.

    I could go into a long diatribe as to why that is, but I think we all know that to some degree, having to hide our female self causes stress (for many reaons). That stress builds up over time and ultimately comes out in, shall we say, less than optimal behavior. And far too often, our wives and families are the ones who are in the line of fire when that spark erupts into a flame. Now obviously that is not what I want to happen, but I’ll be honest and admit that it does. But on the flip side, that’s another reason to crossdress and become our womanly selves, so that we’re nicer people to be around! I’m not sure if all of our wives and SOs would agree with that, but it definitely seems to have some bearing in truth. 🙂

    So…, are you nicer as a woman than as a man?



Viewing 34 reply threads
  • Author
    • #718806
      Caroline Davidson
      Registered On: January 31, 2023
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 41
      Has thanked: 26 times
      Been thanked: 222 times

      Apparently I am.

      I have been told I am no longer grumpy and always seem much happier. Which I am, of course! 🙂

      4 users thanked author for this post.
      • #745331
        Topics: 0
        Replies: 0
        Has thanked: 0 times
        Been thanked: 0 times

        Same for me. In fact if I’m in male mode and getting grumpy my wife tells me to “go and put a skirt on or something” 🤣

        1 user thanked author for this post.
    • #718801
      Kirra W
      Registered On: January 26, 2023
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 26
      Has thanked: 95 times
      Been thanked: 106 times

      Actually I like myself as I am, and so in both man and woman styles! 😄

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #718739
      Registered On: March 19, 2021
      Topics: 25
      Replies: 204
      Has thanked: 72 times
      Been thanked: 561 times

      I thought I commented on this. I’ll give another answer. I am nice in either mode but try to be nice and helpful in general.

      2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #718421
      Shelly Diane Lynn
      Registered On: March 27, 2018
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 32
      Has thanked: 251 times
      Been thanked: 181 times

      I am always so much nicer when I am dressed, because I am so

      much happier.  Nothing is better when you look like the person you are

      on the inside.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #718319
      Jo Jo Sweet
      Registered On: September 22, 2019
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 37
      Has thanked: 28 times
      Been thanked: 180 times

      Hi Holly
      I am a generally nice person anyway but as a male I dont suffer fools gladly and can be very opinionated.
      When I am En Femme I am so happy, comfortable, relaxed and all round loving and nice & Sweet (Hence my name lol)
      Hugs Jojo xx

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #718313
      Emily Alt
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: August 24, 2019
      Topics: 48
      Replies: 1749
      Has thanked: 2194 times
      Been thanked: 9227 times

      Well, there’s just one of us in my case.  She’s usually nice or at least respectful….except to a**holes.  I voted no.


      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #718177
      Lanna Barton
      Registered On: May 25, 2017
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 540
      Has thanked: 2038 times
      Been thanked: 1119 times

      Yes, much nicer as a woman. My SO always tells me I’m grumpy and that’s only because I’m not dressed en femme. Go figure!


      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #718077
      Madeline Bradford
      Registered On: February 5, 2023
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 181
      Has thanked: 336 times
      Been thanked: 803 times

      I’d like to believe that part of my personality is unchanged, that I’m just as nice either way.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #667609
      Ashley Burns
      Registered On: August 1, 2022
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 85
      Has thanked: 248 times
      Been thanked: 324 times

      Actually, sometimes I can be sort of bitchy as a woman lol!

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #667186
      Amanda Woods
      Registered On: November 26, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 140
      Has thanked: 252 times
      Been thanked: 571 times

      I love feeling moe womanly, when I dress weather with full makeup or not, i feel so much calmer, i can let go of my male ego and masculinity at least for a short time.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665867
      Bianca Everdene
      Registered On: April 11, 2017
      Topics: 38
      Replies: 1161
      Has thanked: 5233 times
      Been thanked: 5328 times

      Yes yes yes. It’s like a weight is lifted and I just feel so invigorated and positive and happy. I have been out twice in the last week, loved it.
      As a side effect I also notice my 10k run times are faster post Bianca time! The power of positivity!

      B x

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665863
      Liara Wolfe
      Registered On: August 14, 2021
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 1985
      Has thanked: 3909 times
      Been thanked: 6649 times

      I try to be nice all of the time, however, when I am in girl mode I feel softer and happier.

      Hugs, Liara

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665821
      Sally Drinkwater
      Registered On: July 15, 2019
      Topics: 27
      Replies: 345
      Has thanked: 114 times
      Been thanked: 1461 times

      It’s nice to see that 13.13% of us are nice all the time 🙂

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665235
      Genivieve Bujold
      Registered On: April 13, 2017
      Topics: 4
      Replies: 143
      Has thanked: 231 times
      Been thanked: 612 times

      Holly, while I am the same person whether in a dress or in in drab.
      I do make my mannerisms, voice, etc more feminine when en femme, but I try to be kind and cordial at all times. In fact many of the qualities of my personality that seem to be most appreciated by others are the same ones regardless of how or who I present as. .
      I read once that one should strive to have their character (who you are when alone) be the same as your reputation ( how others see you) I thought that great advice!

      5 users thanked author for this post.
      • #665309
        Registered On: January 21, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 494
        Has thanked: 3213 times
        Been thanked: 1766 times

        I would say I’m much like that. What you are in private is what you really are. So without realizing it, I’ve been ladylike all my life!


        5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665196
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: September 21, 2018
      Topics: 3293
      Replies: 413
      Has thanked: 2011 times
      Been thanked: 2526 times

      I fully feel like I have mellowed during my self realization.

      I am pretty sure that the trolls on this site, however, would not agree.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665148
      Coral Wentworth
      Registered On: July 12, 2019
      Topics: 10
      Replies: 132
      Has thanked: 391 times
      Been thanked: 559 times

      Thanks Holly, You said it just like I would have, and I like you seem to be less calm when I have to be in male mode and I think for me it’s because I am usually dealing with the hard things life is throwing at me at the time. When I’m being little ol’ me, I’m not even trying to stress about anything it seems. makes me wonder why that is. I’ll have to give that some thought sometime, LOL. Coral

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665093
      Registered On: December 5, 2020
      Topics: 15
      Replies: 613
      Has thanked: 1482 times
      Been thanked: 2246 times


      That’s a great question! Always got my vote. When I transform into Revel, I always have a kind personality. She brings out the best in me. I’m more level-headed. Revel keeps my head level! 🙂

      I should add that I’m also a really nice guy, but once in awhile I get upset, and lose my temper. However, this never happens when I’m transformed into Revel. ♥️💋


      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665050
      Mary Priscilla
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: May 23, 2020
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 154
      Has thanked: 283 times
      Been thanked: 669 times

      I said “mostly.” I know that when I am dressed and in a public place (not as often as I would like), I am much more shy than my male persona. I find myself engaging in general, non-confrontational conversation initially so as to get a sense of that person and, perhaps, the others in the room. I do find that if one or more participants determine or guess that am cross dressing, the interactions will increase which, at times, can make me uncomfortable.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #665008
      Registered On: April 15, 2022
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 172
      Has thanked: 1538 times
      Been thanked: 585 times

      Holly, interesting question! I said no as people have always said I am very nice/kind to be around. However, I believe that is because I have always identified more from my feminine side. I don’t believe the way I act toward others changes whether I am in male mode in a shirt and pants or female mode wearing a dress and heels.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664994
      Michelle Trott
      Registered On: April 7, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 687
      Has thanked: 2974 times
      Been thanked: 3175 times

      I am different. I drive different and don’t swear but either way I usually do whatever I can when I see someone in need. This winter I drove past two younger girls that drove off the road and were buried in the snow. I was dressed and almost didn’t stop to pull them out. I don’t know how to be a hero as Michelle. I turned around and got down under their car in the snow because they had no idea where to hook a chain. I was glad I didn’t have a dress on. Then I pulled them out with a strap. I felt uncomfortable the whole time. I was thinking I don’t think many women do stuff like this. I have no idea if they made me or not. They did say Thank You so much Michelle. Either way I still help elderly with their packages or help them load their purchases. Just that Michelle acts like it is heavier than it is. So I am definately different but really the same I guess. Sometimes our male roles require that we be agressive or forceful in our roles in life. Michelle only needs to be happy.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664983
      Teri Linnealis
      Registered On: January 28, 2022
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 113
      Has thanked: 267 times
      Been thanked: 588 times

      I would love to say “no” but I probably am. The main reason is that I have much less contact with people as a female, another reason is the “pink fog” that engulfs you keeps you more relaxed. Fact is,  since I have found “TERI” hiding with-in, my over-all demeanor man or women has improved and my ability to side step confrontational situations is better. Hugs, TERI

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664963
      Angela Booth
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 11
      Replies: 1770
      Has thanked: 6170 times
      Been thanked: 8098 times

      As a male, especially when I was young, I lived up to the male and macho image, having a short fuse and doing what was expected. Deep down have always been an empathetic person and have a soft nature which found myself talking and associating with girls who would discuss quite intimate things with me quite comfortably. Over time, and the work I did, I learned to temper all of the negative attributes to work to my advantage and achieve the desired outcomes for the situations I was in. The feedback was that I was a very calm person, in control and a nice person, that as a male. So having those qualities already helped make a seamless transition into life and work all but burying the macho side of things. Although I have my moments, as we all do, the comments  from others say that I am a nice person but am I a nicer person in my female persona? I feel better and am happier, that’s for sure and perhaps as nice as I can be and certainly nicer than that male years ago.

      So in a roundabout way the answer is yes!



      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664938
      Polly Stewart
      Registered On: January 2, 2021
      Topics: 13
      Replies: 963
      Has thanked: 1492 times
      Been thanked: 3303 times

      Am I different as a woman but nicer? No.
      Despite being labeled as an alpha male I’ve always been a compassionate person and that hasn’t changed with the onset of femininity.
      As a Boy Scout I learned to do a good deed every day… and I still do… it has nothing to do with my femininity but of concern for others.
      I may be more than ever aware of feminine awareness but still…

      love Polly dib dib

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664928
      Stephanie MacNeil
      Registered On: January 31, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 123
      Has thanked: 373 times
      Been thanked: 632 times

      I answered Always (I even heard it in Alan Rickman’s voice when I voted.)

      Not only am I nicer, but I’m lazy, indifferent to appearance, selfish and willful when I’m in drab.  I’m industrious, fastidious, giving and demure when dressed.  It’s quite a change, and it’s one reason why I like to be dressed as much as possible (and my wife appreciates it as well, as she doesn’t tolerate those negative qualities for long.)

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664884
      Kelly Lee
      Duchess - Annual
      Registered On: February 26, 2018
      Topics: 48
      Replies: 544
      Has thanked: 706 times
      Been thanked: 2464 times

      Personally I don’t think I change at all jest because my clothes change but my wife say she think Kelly is nices.
      Besides personality changes in one when we get dressed I think it could also be the perception that other people have, the expectations from a women is different than from a man.


      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664879
      Fiona Black
      Baroness - Annual
      Registered On: November 23, 2019
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 790
      Has thanked: 657 times
      Been thanked: 3484 times


      I answered “mostly” for two main reasons. First, I am more comfortable & happier when presenting as Fiona so that tends to make me act nicer towards others. Second, I intentionally try to act nicer when out en femme to help diffuse any problems that might potentially arise by someone clocking me & not liking what they’ve discovered.

      However I didn’t answer “always” because like Stevie as I age my tolerance & patience for certain things has decreased and while I’m able to bite my tongue sometimes to stay quiet sometimes I just can’t.


      PS. How the heck do you think up all these polls??

      6 users thanked author for this post.
      • #664883
        Registered On: January 21, 2021
        Topics: 6
        Replies: 494
        Has thanked: 3213 times
        Been thanked: 1766 times

        Doesn’t she come up with the most interesting polls? Things we all want to know, just don’t know how to ask.


        6 users thanked author for this post.
        • #665053
          Topics: 0
          Replies: 0
          Has thanked: 0 times
          Been thanked: 0 times

          Thank you, Gwyn!

          2 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664856
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador
      Registered On: June 11, 2020
      Topics: 91
      Replies: 2020
      Has thanked: 9080 times
      Been thanked: 10616 times

      Hi Holly.  I would like to think I am always a nice person, or attempt to be.  Probably comes from that little girl that has always been inside of me.  The number of times (in drab) that my friends wives’ have described me as “pleasant”and “sweet”is almost sickening.  Not very manly either, lol.

      OTOH, as my sis in law has told me, she doesnt want to be anywhere near me when someone pushes me too much.

      Actually… I think since coming out, I have increased the  “nice” factor;  it is easier being in a good mood when one is  looking all pretty 🙂.  But, with age, my tolerance and patience for b.s. has decreased too, regardless of how I’m dressed.   Can’t help that, lol.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664853
      Registered On: July 22, 2022
      Topics: 0
      Replies: 16
      Has thanked: 158 times
      Been thanked: 55 times

      I thought I was and my ex daughter in law says I’m a better person. I’m loving caring and affectionate as a woman because I’m happy. This is the first time I’ve ever been true to myself.🥰

    • #664846
      Alison Anderson
      Registered On: October 15, 2018
      Topics: 17
      Replies: 1195
      Has thanked: 921 times
      Been thanked: 5029 times

      I’m a definite no.  As I’ve stated in several other polls on this site, my personality doesn’t change because I’m wearing a dress or a skirt.  My deportment may change when in public so that I fit in, but my personality remains the same.

      7 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664818
      Falecia McGuire
      Registered On: January 11, 2019
      Topics: 12
      Replies: 191
      Has thanked: 334 times
      Been thanked: 1141 times

      I answered “Sometimes” because I’m always pretty nice to everyone. But, I never really present as a women. I present often as androgynous, or maybe more accurately, as a man wearing feminine garments, accessories, and styles. At one point, when I first retired, before my wife retired, I did most of my tasks and errands dressed in feminine outfits and shoes (ostensibly heels of some sort).

      Last week my wife was out of town, so I was back to my pattern. I find that when I can dress in feminine styles, my poise, confidence, and demeanor are generally more deliberate and congenial. And, the response of the people I encounter is amazingly and consistently positive; particularly from women. One day, I put on a body shaping singlet that remains open at the breast for women to wear their own bras. For me, it kind of forces my breast tissue to form the appearance of better developed pectorals. I slipped into a new pair of high wasted jeans, boot cut, and long enough to cover heels like they might boots. I wore a jeweled belt buckled on the side. I then added a v-neck snug-fitting women’s tee shirt which is relatively short; just below a natural waist. I positioned the shirt to display the buckle and a small portion of the belt. On my feet, I wore Sofft brand high-heeled sandals; about 3 1/3 inches and tapered. The jeans break right at the instep. This outfit makes me look younger, fitter, and taller than I actually am. It may seem incongruous with my thinning gray hair, but I’ve found that if I’m neat, well groomed, and appear confident in movements and presentation, people react favorably. At one store, while processing a return, the middle-aged African American woman clerk was not only pleasant and friendly, but commented, “I love your belt; it’s really pretty!” Do I think she noticed more about my attire than the belt? Yes! Do I think she disapproved or found me inappropriate? No!

      In conclusion, I think many men could look really good in more feminine styles. Women’s style are generally more appealing.  And, for me, I just love both the look and feel. It may not cause me to behave more pleasantly, but it never hurts my mood!


      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664809
      Registered On: January 21, 2021
      Topics: 6
      Replies: 494
      Has thanked: 3213 times
      Been thanked: 1766 times

      So far I’m the “no” vote. I’m always nice. At least I try.


      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664785
      Lisa Leigh
      Registered On: April 20, 2022
      Topics: 7
      Replies: 354
      Has thanked: 1223 times
      Been thanked: 1786 times


      Always, a total change in my personality. It’s not like I can just turn it on and off. I Was visited by my granddaughter the other day and even dressed in grandpas drabs my personality was that of Lisa. Most of the time I don’t even realize it, but this time it felt so obvious, I was worried that others might have picked up on it! Others were busy in conversation so I wasn’t worried. So I guess it was the grandma in me coming out.


      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664784
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 40
      Replies: 815
      Has thanked: 16951 times
      Been thanked: 4905 times

      Okay Holly, you asked so here goes 🙂
      Definitely!! As you know, I have transitioned and now live and work as a woman 24/7. I have heard from over a dozen co workers just this week that they can’t even remember what I was like before transitioning.
      They tell me that I am so kind and gentle, so caring and helpful, and so happy! I’ve been told that my smile lights up the room and my eyes always sparkle. One of the admin staff, who has a masters in psychology, had a conversation with me about this. She says, that because I’ve always had to hide who I really am I was never able to truly express myself, now I have been set free to do so with complete abandon, and there’s no holding me back…!!
      Holly, I can’t really explain the feeling, so much joy at being able to talk as a woman, laugh and giggle as a woman, be treated as a woman, let my feminine mannerisms display themselves in every way possible.
      Yesterday one of the ladies stopped to show me the new bras she just bought, things like that now happen all the time. We talk about makeup, clothing, shoes, hair, jewelry, they always complement me on my hair and makeup.
      All of this is like a dream come true that I never imagined was possible.
      When we are set free to be the real persons we are I truly believe we almost do become different people. I know that’s how I feel. It would probably kill me if, for some reason, I had to go back, but I don’t see that happening.

      Set yourselves free girls, it is an indescribable joy and you should all experience it!!

      Hugs, kisses, and lots of love,

      Lauren M

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664783
      Jamie Johnson
      Registered On: July 22, 2022
      Topics: 2
      Replies: 75
      Has thanked: 33 times
      Been thanked: 264 times

      Neither. I am a feminine male and that is my normal mode of presentation to the world. I get ma’am-ed a lot and enjoy it! People always treat me nice and I am very nice and courteous to everyone.

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #664780
      Jennifer Swanson
      Registered On: April 20, 2019
      Topics: 68
      Replies: 254
      Has thanked: 5520 times
      Been thanked: 2140 times

      I think I’m nicer as a woman but that’s partially due to the fact that people are nicer to me when I’m dressed.  Woman are much more compassionate and caring so I feel I can be my natural (woman) self when dressed.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 34 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account

If you don't see the captcha above please disable ad and tracking blockers and reload the page.