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Hi ladies!
Here’s an interesting question for you. Are you nicer as a woman, that is, as your female self, than you are as a man?
I started thinking about this when I read a comment from one of our sisters that she is nicer when she’s en femme. Then I started thinking about myself, and realized that there’s probably more truth to that statement than I like to admit. I know that when I’m Holly, I’m calmer and more relaxed, more patient, more caring, more open, less judgemental, I don’t curse as much, I don’t have to be the driving force, I’m not always right, etc. In other words, yes, there are times when I’m in male mode that I’m a real jerk, so I’m much easier to get along with, be around, and overall I’m a nicer person when I’m en femme.
I could go into a long diatribe as to why that is, but I think we all know that to some degree, having to hide our female self causes stress (for many reaons). That stress builds up over time and ultimately comes out in, shall we say, less than optimal behavior. And far too often, our wives and families are the ones who are in the line of fire when that spark erupts into a flame. Now obviously that is not what I want to happen, but I’ll be honest and admit that it does. But on the flip side, that’s another reason to crossdress and become our womanly selves, so that we’re nicer people to be around! I’m not sure if all of our wives and SOs would agree with that, but it definitely seems to have some bearing in truth. 🙂
So…, are you nicer as a woman than as a man?
Hugs,
Holly
Okay Holly, you asked so here goes 🙂
Definitely!! As you know, I have transitioned and now live and work as a woman 24/7. I have heard from over a dozen co workers just this week that they can’t even remember what I was like before transitioning.
They tell me that I am so kind and gentle, so caring and helpful, and so happy! I’ve been told that my smile lights up the room and my eyes always sparkle. One of the admin staff, who has a masters in psychology, had a conversation with me about this. She says, that because I’ve always had to hide who I really am I was never able to truly express myself, now I have been set free to do so with complete abandon, and there’s no holding me back…!!
Holly, I can’t really explain the feeling, so much joy at being able to talk as a woman, laugh and giggle as a woman, be treated as a woman, let my feminine mannerisms display themselves in every way possible.
Yesterday one of the ladies stopped to show me the new bras she just bought, things like that now happen all the time. We talk about makeup, clothing, shoes, hair, jewelry, they always complement me on my hair and makeup.
All of this is like a dream come true that I never imagined was possible.
When we are set free to be the real persons we are I truly believe we almost do become different people. I know that’s how I feel. It would probably kill me if, for some reason, I had to go back, but I don’t see that happening.Set yourselves free girls, it is an indescribable joy and you should all experience it!!
Hugs, kisses, and lots of love,
Lauren M
Holly,
Always, a total change in my personality. It’s not like I can just turn it on and off. I Was visited by my granddaughter the other day and even dressed in grandpas drabs my personality was that of Lisa. Most of the time I don’t even realize it, but this time it felt so obvious, I was worried that others might have picked up on it! Others were busy in conversation so I wasn’t worried. So I guess it was the grandma in me coming out.
Lisa
I answered “Sometimes” because I’m always pretty nice to everyone. But, I never really present as a women. I present often as androgynous, or maybe more accurately, as a man wearing feminine garments, accessories, and styles. At one point, when I first retired, before my wife retired, I did most of my tasks and errands dressed in feminine outfits and shoes (ostensibly heels of some sort).
Last week my wife was out of town, so I was back to my pattern. I find that when I can dress in feminine styles, my poise, confidence, and demeanor are generally more deliberate and congenial. And, the response of the people I encounter is amazingly and consistently positive; particularly from women. One day, I put on a body shaping singlet that remains open at the breast for women to wear their own bras. For me, it kind of forces my breast tissue to form the appearance of better developed pectorals. I slipped into a new pair of high wasted jeans, boot cut, and long enough to cover heels like they might boots. I wore a jeweled belt buckled on the side. I then added a v-neck snug-fitting women’s tee shirt which is relatively short; just below a natural waist. I positioned the shirt to display the buckle and a small portion of the belt. On my feet, I wore Sofft brand high-heeled sandals; about 3 1/3 inches and tapered. The jeans break right at the instep. This outfit makes me look younger, fitter, and taller than I actually am. It may seem incongruous with my thinning gray hair, but I’ve found that if I’m neat, well groomed, and appear confident in movements and presentation, people react favorably. At one store, while processing a return, the middle-aged African American woman clerk was not only pleasant and friendly, but commented, “I love your belt; it’s really pretty!” Do I think she noticed more about my attire than the belt? Yes! Do I think she disapproved or found me inappropriate? No!
In conclusion, I think many men could look really good in more feminine styles. Women’s style are generally more appealing. And, for me, I just love both the look and feel. It may not cause me to behave more pleasantly, but it never hurts my mood!
FAM
Hi Holly. I would like to think I am always a nice person, or attempt to be. Probably comes from that little girl that has always been inside of me. The number of times (in drab) that my friends wives’ have described me as “pleasant”and “sweet”is almost sickening. Not very manly either, lol.
OTOH, as my sis in law has told me, she doesnt want to be anywhere near me when someone pushes me too much.
Actually… I think since coming out, I have increased the “nice” factor; it is easier being in a good mood when one is looking all pretty 🙂. But, with age, my tolerance and patience for b.s. has decreased too, regardless of how I’m dressed. Can’t help that, lol.
Holly,
I answered “mostly” for two main reasons. First, I am more comfortable & happier when presenting as Fiona so that tends to make me act nicer towards others. Second, I intentionally try to act nicer when out en femme to help diffuse any problems that might potentially arise by someone clocking me & not liking what they’ve discovered.
However I didn’t answer “always” because like Stevie as I age my tolerance & patience for certain things has decreased and while I’m able to bite my tongue sometimes to stay quiet sometimes I just can’t.
Fiona
PS. How the heck do you think up all these polls??
Doesn’t she come up with the most interesting polls? Things we all want to know, just don’t know how to ask.
Gwyn
Thank you, Gwyn!
I answered Always (I even heard it in Alan Rickman’s voice when I voted.)
Not only am I nicer, but I’m lazy, indifferent to appearance, selfish and willful when I’m in drab. I’m industrious, fastidious, giving and demure when dressed. It’s quite a change, and it’s one reason why I like to be dressed as much as possible (and my wife appreciates it as well, as she doesn’t tolerate those negative qualities for long.)
Am I different as a woman but nicer? No.
Despite being labeled as an alpha male I’ve always been a compassionate person and that hasn’t changed with the onset of femininity.
As a Boy Scout I learned to do a good deed every day… and I still do… it has nothing to do with my femininity but of concern for others.
I may be more than ever aware of feminine awareness but still…love Polly dib dib
As a male, especially when I was young, I lived up to the male and macho image, having a short fuse and doing what was expected. Deep down have always been an empathetic person and have a soft nature which found myself talking and associating with girls who would discuss quite intimate things with me quite comfortably. Over time, and the work I did, I learned to temper all of the negative attributes to work to my advantage and achieve the desired outcomes for the situations I was in. The feedback was that I was a very calm person, in control and a nice person, that as a male. So having those qualities already helped make a seamless transition into life and work all but burying the macho side of things. Although I have my moments, as we all do, the comments from others say that I am a nice person but am I a nicer person in my female persona? I feel better and am happier, that’s for sure and perhaps as nice as I can be and certainly nicer than that male years ago.
So in a roundabout way the answer is yes!
I would love to say “no” but I probably am. The main reason is that I have much less contact with people as a female, another reason is the “pink fog” that engulfs you keeps you more relaxed. Fact is, since I have found “TERI” hiding with-in, my over-all demeanor man or women has improved and my ability to side step confrontational situations is better. Hugs, TERI
I am different. I drive different and don’t swear but either way I usually do whatever I can when I see someone in need. This winter I drove past two younger girls that drove off the road and were buried in the snow. I was dressed and almost didn’t stop to pull them out. I don’t know how to be a hero as Michelle. I turned around and got down under their car in the snow because they had no idea where to hook a chain. I was glad I didn’t have a dress on. Then I pulled them out with a strap. I felt uncomfortable the whole time. I was thinking I don’t think many women do stuff like this. I have no idea if they made me or not. They did say Thank You so much Michelle. Either way I still help elderly with their packages or help them load their purchases. Just that Michelle acts like it is heavier than it is. So I am definately different but really the same I guess. Sometimes our male roles require that we be agressive or forceful in our roles in life. Michelle only needs to be happy.
Holly, interesting question! I said no as people have always said I am very nice/kind to be around. However, I believe that is because I have always identified more from my feminine side. I don’t believe the way I act toward others changes whether I am in male mode in a shirt and pants or female mode wearing a dress and heels.
I said “mostly.” I know that when I am dressed and in a public place (not as often as I would like), I am much more shy than my male persona. I find myself engaging in general, non-confrontational conversation initially so as to get a sense of that person and, perhaps, the others in the room. I do find that if one or more participants determine or guess that am cross dressing, the interactions will increase which, at times, can make me uncomfortable.
Holly,
That’s a great question! Always got my vote. When I transform into Revel, I always have a kind personality. She brings out the best in me. I’m more level-headed. Revel keeps my head level! 🙂
I should add that I’m also a really nice guy, but once in awhile I get upset, and lose my temper. However, this never happens when I’m transformed into Revel. ♥️💋
Rev
Thanks Holly, You said it just like I would have, and I like you seem to be less calm when I have to be in male mode and I think for me it’s because I am usually dealing with the hard things life is throwing at me at the time. When I’m being little ol’ me, I’m not even trying to stress about anything it seems. makes me wonder why that is. I’ll have to give that some thought sometime, LOL. Coral
Holly, while I am the same person whether in a dress or in in drab.
I do make my mannerisms, voice, etc more feminine when en femme, but I try to be kind and cordial at all times. In fact many of the qualities of my personality that seem to be most appreciated by others are the same ones regardless of how or who I present as. .
I read once that one should strive to have their character (who you are when alone) be the same as your reputation ( how others see you) I thought that great advice!
💋Apparently I am.
I have been told I am no longer grumpy and always seem much happier. Which I am, of course! 🙂
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Same for me. In fact if I’m in male mode and getting grumpy my wife tells me to “go and put a skirt on or something” 🤣
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