Asking for advice – using the women’s washroom at work

[Stephanie Dubois]

Hey everyone,

 

So I have started to come out at work. My colleagues know and are supportive. I dress up everyday (heels, skirts, blouse), and once or twice a week I go full out (make-up, wig, prosthetics, etc.). Our office building is rather small (4 floors) and our floor usually has 4-6 people working (we used to have about 60, but most are still working from home). So my dilemma, especially when full out, I feel awkward using the washroom. We do not have any ”individual” washrooms…just the Men’s and Women’s washroom. On a few occasions, when I knew I was the only person working that day, I got to use the women’s washroom, but once there are other colleagues around, I still use the Men’s. On a few occasions, I cross a colleague. I feel I don’t belong in the Men’s washroom, but I’m afraid of offending any women if I use their washroom. There are a few people I know that I can talk to, but I am not familiar with each individual working here. What do I do?

7 users thanked author for this post.

SteffieC, Stephanie Bass, Liara Wolfe, Lauren Mugnaia, Cece X, Michelle Brown

Topic

[Stephanie Bass]

Hi Stephanie like others have said if you present as a woman do as women do and be sure to sit and your toes allways point away from the wall with out fail he he good luck girl..

Stephanie

3 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Lauren Mugnaia, Cece X

[Angela Booth]

I can only concur with the advice given. Talk to H.R and be led by them. I have not transitioned at work but have started as a female and there has never been an issue regarding washrooms. Some workplaces have same sex restrooms and most have Ladies and Mens. I use the ladies in every place and have had no issues whatsoever.

6 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Cece X, SteffieC, Jill Quinn, Stephanie Bass, Lauren Mugnaia

[Cece X]

The two bathrooms on the floor where I work used to be labeled “men” and “women.” Now they are both labeled “all-gender.” Even new employees quickly discover that one of the two bathrooms has a urinal, and makes their choices. Maybe you can be the person to ask HR to relabel the doors to the bathrooms. Quite possibly, HR will not do this until someone lobbies for the change.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Stephanie Bass, Lauren Mugnaia, June Holl

[Anonymous]

Use the women’s washroom. Make sure it is extra clean when you leave. Men put up with a washroom that is less sanitary than women do.

4 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Stephanie Bass, Lauren Mugnaia, Cece X

[Anonymous]

Use the womens restroom when dressed and presenting as a woman.

5 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Jill Quinn, Stephanie Bass, Lauren Mugnaia, Cece X

[Michelle Brown]

Hi Stephanie,You stated you are coming out at work.Have you spoken to your HR person and your superior?Do they know of your intention to transition?Please keep your HR people and your superiors advised and hopefully they will keep everybody else informed.Luck be with you and hugs,Michelle.

8 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Jill Quinn, Stephanie Bass, Lauren Mugnaia, Cece X, Michaela Anthony, Lisa Leigh

[Lauren Mugnaia]

Hi Stephanie, I started my transition at work and had made many numerous inquiries about doing so before I started. So everyone in the building knew that there was going to be a new person at the security desk.
My debut was on March 31st, International Transgender Day of Visibility. On that day several ladies came up and handed me a notice telling me that “As of now you are officially a woman, therefore you are now banned from using the men’s room.” As it appears that transitioning is a direction you are heading, I would recommend talking to the people you work with to see how they feel.

Love ya,

Lauren M

11 users thanked author for this post.

SteffieC, Jill Quinn, Stephanie Bass, June Holl, Cece X, Brielle, Lisa Leigh, Michelle Brown, Stephanie Dubois

[Jill Quinn]

Lauren, I have to say, you have some awesome coworkers. I can only imagine how that must have made you feel. Thank you for sharing.

Hugs, Jill

3 users thanked author for this post.

Stephanie Dubois, Lauren Mugnaia, Stephanie Bass

[Author]

Replies