• Creator
    Topic
  • #644519
    Stephanie Dubois
    Participant
    Registered On: February 14, 2020
    Topics: 13
    Replies: 34
    Has thanked: 113 times
    Been thanked: 176 times

    Hey everyone,

     

    So I have started to come out at work. My colleagues know and are supportive. I dress up everyday (heels, skirts, blouse), and once or twice a week I go full out (make-up, wig, prosthetics, etc.). Our office building is rather small (4 floors) and our floor usually has 4-6 people working (we used to have about 60, but most are still working from home). So my dilemma, especially when full out, I feel awkward using the washroom. We do not have any ”individual” washrooms…just the Men’s and Women’s washroom. On a few occasions, when I knew I was the only person working that day, I got to use the women’s washroom, but once there are other colleagues around, I still use the Men’s. On a few occasions, I cross a colleague. I feel I don’t belong in the Men’s washroom, but I’m afraid of offending any women if I use their washroom. There are a few people I know that I can talk to, but I am not familiar with each individual working here. What do I do?

    7 users thanked author for this post.
Viewing 7 reply threads
  • Author
    Replies
    • #644865
      Stephanie Bass
      Princess - Annual
      Registered On: November 30, 2019
      Topics: 22
      Replies: 3454
      Has thanked: 49652 times
      Been thanked: 12308 times

      Hi Stephanie like others have said if you present as a woman do as women do and be sure to sit and your toes allways point away from the wall with out fail he he good luck girl..

      Stephanie

      3 users thanked author for this post.
    • #644861
      Eileen Bach
      Baroness
      Registered On: February 27, 2021
      Topics: 1
      Replies: 263
      Has thanked: 139 times
      Been thanked: 1095 times

      When presenting as a woman, why would you ever consider using the Men’s? Enter the Woman’s, find an empty stall, close the door. Do your business sitting down. Wash your hands after, check make up and that you haven’t tucked your skirt into your pantyhose.

      All this checking with HR first, bunk! You work there, now as a woman, own it. A bigger problem is a woman using the Men’s.

      Eileen

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #644806
      Angela Booth
      Lady
      Registered On: August 1, 2020
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 1004
      Has thanked: 3731 times
      Been thanked: 4683 times

      I can only concur with the advice given. Talk to H.R and be led by them. I have not transitioned at work but have started as a female and there has never been an issue regarding washrooms. Some workplaces have same sex restrooms and most have Ladies and Mens. I use the ladies in every place and have had no issues whatsoever.

      6 users thanked author for this post.
    • #644710
      Cece X
      Lady
      Registered On: April 8, 2020
      Topics: 20
      Replies: 116
      Has thanked: 2293 times
      Been thanked: 724 times

      The two bathrooms on the floor where I work used to be labeled “men” and “women.” Now they are both labeled “all-gender.” Even new employees quickly discover that one of the two bathrooms has a urinal, and makes their choices. Maybe you can be the person to ask HR to relabel the doors to the bathrooms. Quite possibly, HR will not do this until someone lobbies for the change.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #644634
      Tina Que
      Lady
      Registered On: April 14, 2021
      Topics: 49
      Replies: 260
      Has thanked: 1079 times
      Been thanked: 1563 times

      Use the women’s washroom. Make sure it is extra clean when you leave. Men put up with a washroom that is less sanitary than women do.

      4 users thanked author for this post.
    • #644629
      Emily Sis
      Lady
      Registered On: March 25, 2021
      Topics: 9
      Replies: 72
      Has thanked: 87 times
      Been thanked: 400 times

      Use the womens restroom when dressed and presenting as a woman.

      5 users thanked author for this post.
    • #644612
      Michelle Brown
      Registered On: August 23, 2015
      Topics: 3
      Replies: 210
      Has thanked: 3718 times
      Been thanked: 864 times

      Hi Stephanie,You stated you are coming out at work.Have you spoken to your HR person and your superior?Do they know of your intention to transition?Please keep your HR people and your superiors advised and hopefully they will keep everybody else informed.Luck be with you and hugs,Michelle.

    • #644524
      Lauren Mugnaia
      Duchess
      Registered On: November 1, 2021
      Topics: 5
      Replies: 107
      Has thanked: 1081 times
      Been thanked: 619 times

      Hi Stephanie, I started my transition at work and had made many numerous inquiries about doing so before I started. So everyone in the building knew that there was going to be a new person at the security desk.
      My debut was on March 31st, International Transgender Day of Visibility. On that day several ladies came up and handed me a notice telling me that “As of now you are officially a woman, therefore you are now banned from using the men’s room.” As it appears that transitioning is a direction you are heading, I would recommend talking to the people you work with to see how they feel.

      Love ya,

      Lauren M

      • #644867
        Jill Quinn
        Lady
        Registered On: July 24, 2021
        Topics: 1
        Replies: 127
        Has thanked: 1001 times
        Been thanked: 571 times

        Lauren, I have to say, you have some awesome coworkers. I can only imagine how that must have made you feel. Thank you for sharing.

        Hugs, Jill

        3 users thanked author for this post.
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