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Hello Ladies,
My wife has been very supportive however she has shared with me that seeing me dressed fem really turns her off. So my dream of a lesbian relationship with my wife is out. Lol My dressing is still very new. I know I need to slow down and allow her time to accept the new me. I figure it’s like most new things first is shock then fear followed by curiosity and then acceptance. Has anyone here had a positive outcome where your wife did turn the corner and find you attractive in femme? Or at least be able to accept the small things like shaved legs and chest. I really don’t expect her to be attracted to Sabrina I just hope she can still be attracted to Dane without always visualising Sabrina. Only time will tell.
So nice to express my thoughts in such a wonderful place. Don’t know what I would do without all of you thanks.
Sabrina….how are you sweetie! Your story is very interesting…..women (most) don’t seem to understand our fantasies. I picked out an article from —quora.com about womens view points on cross dressing. I’ll photograph it and try to post it on forums, I hope. Either that or I might have to type it over as an article or new topic. It might be helpful for newcomers to advise them of danger zones with wives/girl friends.
Doesn’t your wife dress up in pants and mens shirts occasionally? Most do…….guess this lesbian bit really throws them. Sex/love should be for the person themselves, not a stereo type. What two people who love each other do together is their business…not what the world thinks they should be doing. I would love to get re-aquainted with Raquel Welch and have a loving bed time romp but that will remain a fantasy. Too much time has passed. Would be nice to sit down again together and have coffee but that was years ago. Fantasies are just part of being human….always wanting something different I guess…….it really bums wifes/girlfriends out, but really, they have the same. Maybe a night of dress up together to enact each others fantasies would help…maybe. Anyway…something to think about; how about her favorite football player or whatever. I wish you good luck with this.
Lady Veronica
Hi Lady V
It’s not so much fantasy as reality. I understand my wife not being attracted to me while I’m dressed as a woman. Although I feel fantastic dressed. I’m not the hottest girl. Lol My pitfall was taking her understanding and trying to do to much to fast. Her seeing me fully dressed was a lot but when I suggested a stay at home date night with me dressed really sent her into a tail spin. For me sex with my wife as Sabrina is not something I crave it’s more about acceptance and just sharing Sabrina with her.
Thanks XOXO💋
Hello Sabrina
I would love to give you a perfect fantasy but from my world it takes a LOT of work and give and take. My wife and I have been married 20 years in July and she knew about Carolyne before we were married. She has done her best to tolerate me and and work to an acceptable level. We have set ground rules and I try to push or break them daily. Yes I have shaved legs and arms but she doesn’t like it. Yes she knows I take outfits on the road and go out but she does not want to see it or be involved. You have to have rules she is acceptable too and respect her as well as you want her to respect you. My wife has clearly stated she is not a lesbian and doesn’t wish to be one so any intimate relationship will not include Carolyne. I love her and have accepted that and her desire to not be part of Carolyne ‘s life so we have moved forward with the desire to be together and accept our differences. As time has gone by we can talk and even joke about it and have even purchased some clothing items together but always with respect for her need to keep it at arms length. If she is the woman you want to be with, accept her needs and respect them and in turn she will be more accepting of yours. Hang in! If you want to contact me via private message feel free.
🍷C
Thank you so much. She is who I desire to be with. Ground rules are a great start. How did you start that conversation?
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The conversation to establish rules came through time. Some were immediate and others have developed over time. She was adament that my chest was not shaved but didn’t care so much about legs. Over time she found she prefers me to not shave all the way up (mid thigh limit) and has expressed that. The key to our discussing it was to keep talking AND listening. We will be married 20 years in July and she knew beforehand but even now things come up. She recently told me I was to old ☹️ to be wearing skirts above the knee and she wanted to make sure I was dressing “age” appropriate. Again it is a two way street of talk and listen. Feel free to message me directly if you wish. Good luck!
🍷C
Sabrina thank you for sharing your story. My wife is very much like yours , the shock after many years of marriage and now telling her. Her confusion at the fear of what this means in our relationship. After reassuring her I’m only fascinated with the dressing and no more her , curiosity was much on her mine so with her guidelines and continue conversations she became acceptive of me but cautiously . She sees me usually only at night wearing nightie’s and such but the real dressing I usually do it when she out working. She asked to see me more but just not totally comfortable yet but she doesn’t want me for bedtime fun anyway dressed and has mention she too isn’t in a lesbian affair. I too shave pretty well all and have let my hair grow again so in physically transforming before her but always talking, making sure I’m not moving too fast. So far good but always worried she may not want me but im always trying to make this work. My wife is my life 🌹
Sabrina, first off always loved that name so good choice girl. : ) I to came out to my wife about 3 years ago. The thing I did was drop the bomb and leave it open for her to come to me. We started talking the hardest thing was not to get to excited about what ever question she asked positive or negative and to try and stay engaged but not overly enthusiastic. There are times she tolerates and times she will actually love me enough to help out I can name many times she has bought me things or helped my group (Transgender group I attend) by donating cloths. She has her rules and I try to work very hard to not cross them. One is not to purchase without talking with her. Another is she does not want me wearing the same things she wears (that is a hard one we have very similar taste). One of the big ones is we are honest and open with each other and keep the communications open. Mine also does not want bedroom time with Sara but does let me come to bed as Sara when we are away from home. The thing is she has rules and things that make her comfortable just as we do when we are husband and wife and I respect her and she respects me. I hope someday I will be able to do some things but as for the lesbian life I feel that will never come with my wife.
I hope you well but I will say take it slow talk with her and leave the lines of communication open and do not expect the fantasy. That is why they are fantasies. : )
Sara
Sara
Great advice and thank you for sharing some of your rules. It really helps to paint a picture or map. These are tough waters to navigate. I particularly appreciate your idea not to be overly enthusiastic when talking to my wife. My excited state I’m sure is freaking her out. Congrats on 3 years I’m only a few months in and I hope to be in your heels in 3 years. Lol
Much love XOXO❤
Sabrina
Thanks for sharing. My wife went through stages too. First, fun and exciting. Then some anger. Now, she buys me things when I am a house good wife. I also go the extra mile during sex when dressed. Backrubs and tons of foreplay. One rule of thumb….don’t force it. If she is not up for it….leave it alone. I am the submissive wife who does as she is told…..and loving it!!!
[quote quote=95339]Sabrina….how are you sweetie! Your story is very interesting…..women (most) don’t seem to understand our fantasies. I picked out an article from —quora.com about womens view points on cross dressing. I’ll photograph it and try to post it on forums, I hope. Either that or I might have to type it over as an article or new topic. It might be helpful for newcomers to advise them of danger zones with wives/girl friends.
Doesn’t your wife dress up in pants and mens shirts occasionally? Most do…….guess this lesbian bit really throws them. Sex/love should be for the person themselves, not a stereo type. What two people who love each other do together is their business…not what the world thinks they should be doing. I would love to get re-aquainted with Raquel Welch and have a loving bed time romp but that will remain a fantasy. Too much time has passed. Would be nice to sit down again together and have coffee but that was years ago. Fantasies are just part of being human….always wanting something different I guess…….it really bums wifes/girlfriends out, but really, they have the same. Maybe a night of dress up together to enact each others fantasies would help…maybe. Anyway…something to think about; how about her favorite football player or whatever. I wish you good luck with this.
Lady Veronica
[/quote]
Hi Dame V,One of my younger fantasies had Raquel Welch involved and of course I still do. That would have been so Cool to have met her. She still looks amazing at 77! Anyway thought I’d comment because she is not mentioned much anymore, I guess we are showing our age🤣. TTFN💋👠
Danielle
Hi Sabrina,
Thank you so much for sharing. I had a talk with my current wife before we were married about my crossdressing and I showed her my extensive wardrobe and accessories of that time period. A few months later she helped me purge and begin dressing with limits to what accessories I could have. Panties, hose, and shoes for awhile then a few months later she found out she had ankle problems and couldn’t wear heels anymore and then neither could I. Life is not fair but I love this woman so I accepted her decision. Now 6 years into the marriage I couldn’t be constrained by her rules anymore and I needed to dress more and more often as Danielle. She was not pleased as she thought I had quit. She just did not see me dress for almost 6 years and I was going bonkers! I wanted my heels back! I wanted my bras back! I wanted to dress as I wanted to dress! Well a couple of weeks after that chat we went to DSW! Holy cow! Was this for her or for me? It was for me and I purchased a pair of Nina size 10 t-strap 4” heels that are so cute. I can still rock a pair of 4”stiletto heels and still walk in them. Heavy sigh😔. This past weekend she bought me a beautiful periwinkle chemise and it fit!!!! I filled the A cups naturally and that was the most wonderful feeling I have ever had dressing up en femme! Wow is not happy enough, giddy with delight is how I felt! After so many years of marriage, 6 years, we had our third sexual encounter. We had 1 encounter early in our marriage before “The Purge” and another on a 1 week vacation 2 weeks ago. I will share one compliment she gave me after we got home from the vacation. She basically let me know that everything I did was so much more gentle and took more quality time and paid so much more attention to her she believes I was a different person. I am becoming Danielle when I am dressed. Did I try changing anything while dressed up? Nope! Did I purposefully try to act differently while I was dressed as Danielle? Nope! I do in fact believe my feminine side has surfaced so much that she has begun to notice minute changes to how I carry myself and actually think and act!
The take away from my post is this; patience, all things come to be who waits. Patience and communication. It took me almost 36 years of marriage to learn this. I am absolutely joyful if I can pass this knowledge along to those in the same or similar situation then I have achieved one of my goals of joining “Crossdressers Heaven”. Thank you for reading. TTFN💋👠
Danielle
I know my wife loves my soft chest hair and resting her head there. The yrs of Spiro have made it a softer place as I have small breasts. I spend many hrs contemplating what my needs are and what her needs are and am trying to compromise. I hope she will nestle in my breasts one day. And I will keep the blue pills about so my atrophied “clit” is usable. Negotiating these waters is some scary stuff my loves
Besos💋 MariaBella
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