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So ive been wanting to go to a bar dressed so have any of you ladies gone to bars dressed or would you recommend sticking to gay bars? Are there usually other crossdressers? just kinda curious about your experiences at bars.
The first time out in public to a bar was an experience that was filled with many different emotions. Those emotions ranged from being scared, to nervous and just plain excited. Many of us can remember in great detail the first time we went out out in public. It is imperative to make sure the bar is a safe environment and preferably one with security.
Vanessa,
IMHO, this is a difficult question to answer, because there are so many variables involved. Much depends on what type of bar you want to visit and where it is located. Moreover, what is the attitude of the customers and management toward LGBT people?
Above all, your personal safety is paramount!
For example, I live in the greater Atlanta, Georgia metro area. In general, Atlanta is a LGBT friendly area, and people treat CDs like anyone else. However, the further one travels away from Atlanta, much more traditional thinking prevails, and bars are frequented by some pretty rough people. College town bars are exceptions.
Why even consider a bar? I am a career retired US Navy sailor, and I can say from personal experience that virtually every bar in the world smells of stale beer and cigarettes. Not exactly the odor I want seeping into my pretty clothes.
That being said, I have visited bars with CD girlfriends who want to stop by for a drink. My experience in the Atlanta area? We are treated like any other customer. However, we know beforehand what type of bar we are walking into. Over the years, I can recall very few instances where anything negative was said or done. Loud drunks come to mind. Be aware of them and observe how aggressive their behavior is.
Hey, I guess it all comes down to being aware of your surroundings and exercising common sense.
Oh, one good suggestion. If in doubt, contact management, and ask them if CDs are welcome and will it cause any problems with other customers. I used to do that when I arranged social activities for a group of CDs.
Enjoy being a girl!
Peggy Sue
Hi Vanessa
It totally depends on where you are and who you’re with.
My first bar outing was to a regular pub in Northampton, UK, while at college.
It was a costume party, but I wasn’t told. A girl who lived in the house, and is 6’1″ suggested that I wear some of her clothes, and I gave in to the pressure 😁
She took me to her bedroom, had me strip, then dressed me, pausing after the underwear and bra padding to do my makeup.
Then the rest of the clothes were put on me, and she loudly announced “Right, let’s go to the pub!”.
This was such a rush – like a dream come true for 26 year old me, being dolled up and dragged out by a buxom (and this is a purely accurate word that she used to describe herself) 18 year old.
Almost no-one in the pub seemed to pay any attention to the noisy, weirdly dressed students.
When the time came to go to the bathroom, she dragged me to the ladies, telling me under no circumstances should I go into the gents.
She left me in there, and I was as quick as I could be, but 3 ladies came in to the very small facility.
I waited a while, but it didn’t seem that they were going anywhere, so I came out of the cubicle, gently pushed past – it really was small – and washed my hands.
They tumbled immediately, and followed me out, a little indignant at first about a man in the ladies (it was the early 1990s!) – but, when I pointed out that the gents would have been worse, they agreed, and switched their attention to admiring my costume.
Once they’d admired the outer clothes and makeup, they wanted to see what I had on underneath.
I had no girlfriend at the time, although plenty of friends who are girls, and the girl who dressed me had a steady boyfriend, so, what the hell – I was young, free, single, and feeling incredibly lucky, so I enjoyed the next few minutes (the description is not for sharing!), and invited them to our party.
Sadly, they declined, on the grounds that they had no costume, which was fair – plus they weren’t students, and would have felt out of place among the geeky smartasses!
The point of my rambling story is that some people get it and find it really fascinating, so going to a bar en femme will attract attention, and can be a little intimidating unless you’re prepared for it.
I have found gay bars to be the least intimidating and most accepting, but have met so many people who seem to freak out in an excited way. I love those people – they totally make you feel validated, but it’s a little scary the first time it happens!
I have also met growly “alpha” type men who refuse to get it and will tell you angrily that you’re a freak.
Stay safe and have fun – try out a bar in stealth mode and see if you think you could get away with it.
I jump in, but Brighton is a safe place compared to many.
It’s not without its own dangers though.
Once more, stay safe try arranging a meet up.
Love Laura
Hi Vanessa Gay night clubs, bars there are places that have drag shows. They can be a great place to go out when dressed if you are with someone else. If it is a place that you have never gone before then go in drab first and just check it out. Talk to the bartender and get a feel for the place. Trust your feelings. Find out what nights are the busiest . Try to figure out what type of clientele frequent the place. I always felt more comfortable if it was a gay and lesbian opposed to just a gay men’s bar. I am much more comfortable having woman around me when i am out.Just keep your gifted fem antenna up at all times. My best suggestion is always go out with a wing person. Just think safety first. There are a lot of crazies out there and when they mix alcohol with their meds things may get a little dangerous. Start to think like a woman and most woman would never go out alone. Its like anything else trial and error to find best place . You do not want your errors to be be eventful. Be Safe and enjoy expressing your self. Luv Stephanie
Go for it Vanessa. One of the best nights of my life. Go with company for some back up.
We went to a large LGBT friendly club just outside London. I feel places like these are a lot more accepting of letting everybody freely express themselves. Nothing bad happened, Danced the night away in my fav. Girls night out outfit. Bathrooms were for everybody, cubicles down one wall, sinks and mirrors down the other. Security was visible, felt safe, and free to let Bianca out to play for a magical night dancing in heels. Just there for a fun night. A woman kept making eye contact but I was too chicken to go talk to her. Wonder if she was disgusted, curious, or the option I like-was she a lesbian attracted to me🤣will never know!
No regrets,
❤️B
Hello Vanessa
First trip into an English bar last Christmas…en femme and solo….had a few drinks before for courage and went for it….as on all my “grace” days out the rush is quite intense. At the bar nobody looked twice really and s man next to me said to the batman….this lady was next!!!….heaven….I had a glass of wine and sat at a table virtually ignored….I don’t frequent bars solo but what a confidence booster….hugs, Grace xx
and I swear this is true, despite the arrival of batman….kisses xx grace
I generally stick with the gay clubs, or the ones that I know are T Friendly and/or have a good clientele mix. It’s pretty easy to do in Amarillo since are never more than a handful with the openings and closings seeming to balance it out, numbers wise.
If I go to Dallas or Oklahoma City, I already know a few that are safe, and if I have heard of someplace else that is an LGBTQ supporter then I will call ahead and ask them. Here in Texas, if they don’t wish for us to be in their establishment, they will tell you if you just ask. I used to make it my mission of going to a country bar on purpose way back last century if I heard of them hassling or assaulting one of us, and the result s were predictable. That was back in my stubborn, in-your-face-if-you-don’t-like-it days. I am glad I have calmed down, and I am sure Amarillo PD took a breather back then too. There’s 4 or 5 interesting stories of those events.
PaulaF
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