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    • #258011
      DeLora
      Lady

      How many of you allow your facial hair to grow?
      I have had a full beard for at least 15 years and I have not seen my chin in at least 27 years.
      I am about 1/2 way through the book “living with crossdressing” by Savannah Haul and earlier in the book she mentioned the bearded lady as a type of crossdresser and expressed confusion as to why a guy would bother putting on a dress but not shaving, not trying to appear feminine. I have been asking myself the same question. The weird thing is my beard is an important part of my masculine identity. I think I have also come to rely on it as a safety net that stops me going all out enfemme. Consequently, I have never seen DeLora in the mirror. I know what it feels like to be DeLora, but I don’t know what her face looks like… I do plan on revealing her at some point, but it’s going to take some courage.

      Anyway, I am interested to see what others think about their facial hair.

    • #258036
      K Swim
      Lady

      Not for the benefit of dressing, but I don’t like facial hair.

    • #258048

      Hi Hon,

      Personally, I think well groomed beards look good on a cute guy. But a beard on a crossdresser or trans girl, BIG NO!!! It looks absolutely terrible on a guy who is dressed as a woman. I find it repulsive and so do my trans girlfriends. I have spent so much money on electrolysis removing, facial and body hair, and I’m still not done. No way do I go out of my house with “beard shadow”!!! It just does not look right on a woman. My opinion!!

      But, I totally understand what you mean that your beard is an important part of your masculinity. It is a very male thing to wear a beard, and obviously you have no intention on transition. You have not fully committed yourself to look female, as you fear losing your male pride and identity if you shave it off. All I can say is do what you must, and I don’t pass judgement on what anybody does, we “should” all be free to present as we feel. Just be prepared for a lot of ridicule if you go out in public en femme with a beard. Hope it helps!!

      Hugs, Breanna

    • #258225

      DeLora,

      I have a full beard as well, and have found a unique solution to my situation.

      I  found a company in Italy that makes very realistic full head masks, and I bought one!  It also helps in that one of the conditions of my wife’s support of my “hobby” is that I use the mask and not shave my beard.  While some people notice it right away, a significant portion doesn’t realize I’m wearing a mask until I tell them!

      Message me if you want more info.  The  masks are very comfortable, but get hot in the summertime.  Also, they ain’t cheap!

      Leah

    • #258249
      DeLora
      Lady

      That IS an interesting solution!
      I don’t know that I’d be comfortable wearing a mask, I would feel like I was hiding, but I guess makeup is basically just a thin mask although it can be used to work with the natural features.

      I’ll keep the mask idea in my back pocket… Oh wait, these paints have take pockets! Anyway, always something to consider.

      How do you find the mask works when eating & drinking, does it respond to your facial expressions?

      Cheers,
      DeLora.

    • #258259

      The version I have is very supple and the lips move with my natural lips.  I can raise my eyebrows a bit and my cheekbones move with my natural ones.

      I can eat and drink with it on, but I can’t open my mouth too wide.  Also, I have to speak distinctly and with volume or my voice will sound a bit muffled.

      I’ve worn my mask to the Keystone Conference twice, and most people just accepted me as Leah, with very few actually noticing it’s a mask.   I wear glasses and that helps obscure the eyeholes.

      I’ve been talking with a makeup artist about eye shadow and other eye makeup to make the eyeholes even more indistinct.

      To see me in my mask, check out my you tube channel  “Leah’s Musings”.

      Leah

    • #258260
      ChloeC
      Duchess

      Back in the 80’s – for various reasons – I first had a mustache.  It was the ‘in’ thing in men’s fashion.  Then I grew a beard.  My crossdressing, such as it was at that time, went to absolutely zero.  Maybe I was making one last attempt at banishing my desires. As if.  That ‘pink cloud’ or that desire, finally grew so much that one winter I took a several day ski vacation to an area with a lot of well known ski resorts, got a room, shaved the beard and mustache, dressed en femme, and went skiing wearing it all, but under my parka, bib overalls, sweater, turtleneck.  I still felt like I stood out, although really nobody would have ever noticed, but I felt great.  Using the restroom was rather time consuming of course and since most men’s rooms have at least an 18 inch open bottom on all sides, I had to be very careful not let anything drop below the line. But I remember that trip, the shaving, the wearing, etc. still quite vividly.  I now shave mostly every day, and especially very fastidiously before I dress. Fortunately I don’t have a heavy beard, but if I had the money, I’d definitely do electrolysis, maybe not totally eliminate it, but definitely reduce it. But that’s me. Your mileage may vary…and that’s all right.

    • #258273
      Anonymous

      I don’t have much facial hair.  shave what I do have. Always clean shaven. Never a 5 o clock shadow. I am fortunate to have a very feminine face. Don’t wear much make up. Cerave moisturizer twice a day and I’m good to go.

    • #258387

      DeLora,

      I have a goatee that my wife loves.  Add to that, I am not trying to be a woman and have no desire to do so.  I’m a man who has a preference for womenswear. I’m not ashamed of who I am and see no reason to hide. Therefore, I dress how I wish and sport the beard that is part of who I am.

      MacKenzie Alexandra

    • #258397

      Hi DeLora,

      I wish you’d provided an “Other” choice in your poll, ‘cause that’s where I would be.

      I hate facial hair, but I hate shaving, too. So, I can sometimes go 2 to 3 days without a shave but hate myself for doing so! I’m retired, live alone, and dress almost every evening (about 90% of the time) but I don’t let my lack of a shave discourage me from dressing. Of course, I’m ultra-closeted, so no one will see me dressed with stubble. My one rule in this matter is that I would never apply makeup over stubble. That would be weird. I rarely put on my makeup, but when I do, it must be over a close shave.

      As far as my masculine side is concerned, meh, I could care less. In drab, I’m not going to impress anyone with my masculinity, even if I sported a beard like Duck Dynasty or ZZ Top.

      My beard (or stubble, really) is no safety net of any kind, for I am not at all afraid of how femme I might allow myself to become without it. What happens, happens. However, given my advanced age, I doubt that I will ever advance to a CD stage where extreme femininity becomes part of my CD lifestyle, much less my drab life. As I’ve always said, I’m just a simple, uncomplicated crossdresser, a non-macho cis-male who loves dressing in women’s lingerie, outerwear and wig. That I know. What I don’t know is why. This I’ll probably never know.

    • #258459
      Ashley
      Lady

      I voted I only shave when I go en femme, but that doesn’t really cover the whole truth for me. This has been an interesting subject for me lately.

      I’ve thought for a while that if it weren’t for my cross dressing, I’d definitely grow a beard. I’ve always wondered what I’d look like with one. But I would always shave to get dressed up. Even though I’m still not really out to anyone, so technically my presentation doesn’t matter, I donno, it just felt right that I should shave my face to put on dresses and heels and stuff.

      Well over the last month or so that changed: I decided to commit to allowing my male self something, and growing a beard.

      It’s led to some thoughts and feelings I’ve never had before. The girl in me definitely hates it! But I wouldn’t say I’m conflicted, at least not so much in the obvious way.

      Of course I still enjoy dressing up, even when what I see in the mirror looks more ridiculous than ever. Before when I tried growing a beard, it was part of an effort to stop cross dressing, but not this time. This time it was really just an experiment in who I am and what it would look and feel like to have a beard. Weird I know, but I think its my acceptance of my cross dressing that made me let myself grow a beard this time.

      My new facial hair has gotten some compliments from my friends and I kind of like it myself, but I’ve told people it’s still an experiment, and yeah it will almost definitely be coming off at some point. I’ve been watching makeup tutorials and they have me excited to try makeup again. A big part of me now is hoping I’ll work up the courage, so that when I do shave again, I’ll tell at least some people the full truth about why!

    • #258463

      I had a beard for 43 years. I know I grew it in part as a defense against my crossdressing – an assurance of masculinity.Now I wish I had shaved it off earlier so that I could have enjoyed my girlhood instead of just now trying to pass as an old lady!

    • #258513

      My wife supports my femme side but now and then she asks to grow a mustache again. She says she misses the look and the feel of it when we kiss and when I go down below. Gigi does NOT want a mustache.

    • #258551
      Krista
      Duchess

      Hi DeLora, Depending on how you look at it, I consider myself very lucky. I couldn’t grow a beard if I tried. I have very little facial hair. I once tried to grow a mustache when I was in my 40s and failed miserably. When I was young I could go weeks without shaving. Now that I’m over 65, I have to shave everyday, mind you it is mostly very fine, gray hairs and only in a few spots under my chin and if I let them grow out it wouldn’t make a beard, just a few long scraggly hairs. It definitely makes it a lot easier to pass in public without a heavy beard shadow (I don’t even have to worry about using concealer or foundation). Have a lovely weekend, Hugs, Krista.

    • #258602
      DeLora
      Lady

      Hey Mackenzie,
      Thanks for your comment, I like your perspective. I also enjoy women’s clothing as a man and I like to mix and match male and female clothing. I also like to dress full enfemme and am pondering shaving the beard off to try the next step, dressing as a female, makeup and all.

    • #258612
      Anonymous

      It depends on where I am in the “tide”. My facial hair is usually correlated with the ebb (full beard) and flow (clean shaved).  Same with manscaping. That’s not to say I won’t say…wear panties when I have a beard because, well,  panties are wonderful but when dressing is really on my mind and I’m really into it, my face is usually smooth. ❤️

    • #258643
      Alysha
      Lady

      DeLora,

      I have a beard, had it since 1970, very painful to shave, makes my face like ground meet, it’s gray now like Santa. Wife has never seen without. I dress most days but stay close to the house. Don’t know who knows, and don’t care, I do my own thing. If people have a problem with it they should get a new life. Love dressing and feeling like a women even with a beard.

       

      Alysha

    • #258657
      Aoife
      Lady

      It’s hard ton imagine my life long term beard-free. I don’t get the change to dress but when I do I won’t feel right with it. I’m trying to embrace the femme beard but I think it will be a struggle. Hoping to have my wife see me in just a skirt some time and if she feel comfortable with that it could make a big positive change. No passing, but a lovely comprise perhaps.

    • #258915

      Like some here, like Trinity X, mine comes and goes usually in relation to how much cross dressing I’m doing. Lately I’ve been dressing a lot. After I joined this group, I started getting a lot more accepting of who I am thanks to the people here, so I’ve been shaving my face a lot!!

    • #258928
      Amy Myers
      Baroness

      Delora, interesting question, and one that I struggled with as well. Short version, Amy won!

      Longer version, I first grew my beard in my 20’s, to look a bit older, and as a bit of rebellion, as my family was very much against it. Not that I’ve ever been a Capital R rebel, always a small r one. Now at 65, my beard is an even more established part of me.

      My beard quickly became an important part my persona, and as I dressed from time to time over the years, I often wondered what it would be like to shave, and even have makeup on. This must of gone on 20 years or so, but I never really counted.

      So now to late last year, when my femme impulses started to grow much stronger, but I didn’t want to go out en femme, but I still wanted to look feminine. The conflict inside me was growing much stronger. Then as when I got introduced to a local crossdressing social club, that meets a couple of times a month, the conflict was even stronger.

      I went out to my first event with a full beard, though I was able to change on site, which of course helped. This experience was so overwhelming, that before the next one, I decided HAD to shave. So, one Sunday after supper, I went and did just that. I was shocked at how different I looked, even though I had taken to wearing quite short of late. My kids wanted to see pictures of me right away. Only one person is still alive that I still know who knew me before I had the beard, and I sent him the same pic as I sent to my kids.

      Of course no one knows the real reason for the shave! My High School friend remembers me saying at the time I grew it, that I’ll shave it in 20 years or so, to look younger again.

      It was a bit weird for a while, looking at myself in a mirror, as it seemed like a different person looking back at me. But now I don’t miss it at all, and I don’t mind shaving either. Being able to more convincingly dress is more than enough compensation.

      Amy

       

    • #259619

      That idea has merit Bobbi…..Thank you.

    • #259625
      Anonymous
      Lady

      Not only do I hate facial hair but body hair as well.  I have had extensive laser on my face, arms, legs and underarms to rid me of those vestiges of manhood!  My wife has stated she wants my chest hair left intact so it is just trimmed short but I still don’t like it.

      As for others… to each their own and may we all be happy with our own self image and accepted for who we are.

      🍷C

    • #259627

      I have had a beard for years. It was once a full face beard.   Now it’s a mustache and Goatee .  Since I have just started to explore, what I am realizing was super repressed desires  to dress- I am revisiting the beard. This is all very new. I have also been shaving my head for years- so, the beard and mustache where “ the hair” I did have.  I was loading hair when you so – growing it out is not a solution.  But that part is easily solved with a wig.   I’ve been trimming back the beard- shorter and shorter to allow myself to get used to it.  Right now, I’m only dressing at all in private. Or panties , bra and stockings under drab clothes.  But, I really want to go out to one of the clubs in LA fully dressed one day soon- so, I’m working is the nerve to fully shave. Of course- weaning myself makes it easier- since, I could “grow it back” in a short period of time if I felt   I Missed it.   Glad this discussion is up- It’s so on point for me as I deal with all the emotions and Anticipation around this opening door.

    • #260691

      Hi Delora,

      I had my mustache since it started growing at puberty, never shaved it off.

      Now I was 53 I finally shaved it off for my femme side.

      The guys at work Sid I shaved off my pornstache.

      Anyway

      What I discovered was I have no upper lip to speak of.

      Darn it.

      I shout I had a nice upper lip but it ws the mustache.

      Anyway I wouldn’t grow it back for anything.
      As Carolyne said I would love to laser it all.
      Patty

    • #260805

      My wife doesn’t think so.

    • #260935
      Angela
      Lady

      I HATE my beard. I see it through my makeup and it drives me crazy. Shaving feels like I’m peeling my face. So it’s coming off permanently!  First electrolysis appointment is Jan 2nd! WOOHOO!

      Angela

    • #264038
      Michelle Liefde
      Ambassador

      Hard for me to choose one of your answers. I no longer grow a beard and shave everyday but do not hate having one.   I have found it easier to not have one.

       

    • #639233
      Anonymous

      No facial hair… for the most part. Had laser hair reduction treatments, and while there are some stragglers, the majority of the facial hair is gone! Yes!

    • #639236
      BobbiJo C
      Lady

      Hi DeLora,

      I am presently undergoing facial electrolysis to remove the beard. I am about 1/2 done now and will continue until completely done. It is one of my disphoria triggers.

      In my younger days I wore a mustache.  No longer

      BobbiJo

       

    • #639278
      Revel
      Baroness

      I hate it, I never allow it to grow got my vote. I shave every day, and as a brunette, I usually shave twice a day so my dark whiskers don’t show. I love the clean shaven look. It makes me look and feel much better.

      Rev

    • #639301
      Anonymous

      I hate it. Shave twice a day. I would be happy if it was gone forever. This is just me. To each, their own.

    • #639306
      Stevie Steiner
      Managing Ambassador

      I loathe having facial hair now and will get miserable if I do not shave daily.

      I just wish the hair on my head would grow as thick as the hair on my face wants to.  Having a bald spot would be better if it was on my face! 😅

      Stevie

    • #639337
      Anonymous
      Lady

      No facial hair at all. I don’t feel face hair in any form is feminine.

      I do understand why some keep it in the privacy of the closet but no way in presenting to any other person as female. The only bearded lady in public that I know of is at the circus.

      I progressed from shaving my legs to shaving almost my whole body. I love feeling smooth all over which is a part of my femininity and nylons pulled over fresh shaved legs is wonderful.

    • #639385

      Hi Delora nice meeting you and i chose not like and not grow at all as had a full as wife called it a grizzley adams beard for a few years when met wife .. There was a time after married where i was dressing and got to thinking that when i had to trim moustache back to apply lipstick was not very pretty ha ha .. So it had to go this was about age 21 when we met and got married  went took a shower trimmed it up then shaved it all off came out of shower with towl on head drying hair and looked at wife pulled towel away she had to do a double take to understand what was differant he he she wasent mad but was taken aback till she got used to it then makeup was more pleasurable to apply especially my wonderful red lipstick he he .. so no more face hair for ever yea..

      Stephanie Bass

    • #639587
      Liara Wolfe
      Duchess

      For most of my adult life I had a mustache. It was all part of that time when I buried my feminine side really deep. In a sense it is how you put it “a safety net.” While I had the mustache I saw no reason to get dressed and it helped me deny who I truly was. Now I do not want to have anything to do with facial hair (I hate it). To me, looking as feminine as I can is very important and I can’t do that with facial hair.

      While I can’t see myself as feminine with facial hair, to all my sisters who have facial hair, I completely support you. It’s about how we feel as individuals and not what others think.

       

      Hugs, Liara

      • #639675

        Looking back makes me believe I had a bit of that “safety net” mentality going on with me too Liara.  But these days I sure do take great pleasure in removing all my facial (and body) hair.  That along with having my eyebrows waxed and ears pierced have done absolute wonders in boosting my femme connection and contentment level.

        *** Kayla ***

    • #639593

      I had long sideburns in my younger days. I had started to dabble in crossdressing and wanted to shave them off so badly but thought everyone would know that something was up. I would get my hair cut at a beauty parlor, mostly for convenience. I went in one day and the lady who always cut my hair stated that the sideburns where outdated and before I could even say anything they were gone. It was the best thing that ever happened. I couldn’t wait to start using makeup and seeing what I could do with my face now.

    • #639614

      Up until about a year ago, I had worn a mustache or occasionally a full beard for almost my entire adult life or about 43 years. My growing desire to be able to feel and present as feminine plus my wife’s mention that she had never seen me without facial hair and was curious to was enough for me to shave my face smooth once and for all. I actually like facial hair in male mode but it is totally incongruent with the new acceptance of my feminine side and so it is gone for good. My wife has totally embraced my new smooth face and never wants to see facial hair on me again so things all worked out well in this regard and I couldn’t be happier. 🥰

      *** Kayla ***

    • #639620

      No facial or any hair on my legs,arms or anywhere else.Want to be as feminine as possible.Stay nice and smooth.

    • #639983
      Cece X
      Lady

      I am certainly in the minority on this forum, possibly one of less than a handful. I love my facial and body hair and am fully committed to it. I only do not love that my van dyke is whiter than the hair on my head or body.
      Yes, the inevitable fact is that I am the bearded lady. I dress only in private so I am okay with that appearance. When I look in the mirror, I look at myself from the neck down. Yes, sometimes I notice hair under my stockings or popping out of my dress’ neckline. I have absolutely no interest in approaching feminine realness, so the hair is more than fine.
      No dysphoria or inner conflict here. I am simply a man in women’s clothing in private. I do not aspire to anything else. Frankly, I feel far more comfortable with my masculine side. I actually wish I had more and darker body hair.

    • #640879

      Personally, I feel creeped out when I see guys with their hillbilly beards! I’ve a couple of acquaintances who are ‘plushies’ and I always add a little prayer of thanks that I wasn’t born so.

      I dislike body hair and have had laser treatment on every part ‘cept my back. All the other hair is white as laser doesn’t work on light hair yet though I’m hoping that within the next five years or so the beauty industry will overcome those limitations.

      Covid has been a blessing in disguise as mask wearing has covered a multitude of ‘sins’!

      Blessed are the smooth! Love Polly 💋💋

    • #641111

      I do love my facial hair. Sometimes I just dress up with a cute mask to cover it for its own protection. Other times I do have to sacrifice it for the cause.

      Ive got a bit of a “weak” chin, which looks masc enough with a beard, but looks pleasantly femme when shaved.

      Ive make a personal game out of tracking the last time I dressed up, not by days, but by seeing how long my facial hair has grown. As far as anyone knows I like growing it out to clean shave it off.

    • #647607

      I tried electrolysis but it was very expensive and didn’t seem to work on me. Next I tried a place called Vanishing Point in NYC where they used a sort of epilight to kill the follicles. That was expensive and did not work either. I tried plucking but that caused ingrown hairs.

      If a pill had been invented that would cause every hair on my body except for eyelashes to fall out and never come back I would take it.

      <script src=”moz-extension://a5db4fb3-7504-42a5-af80-56e622fefbfe/js/app.js” type=”text/javascript”></script>

    • #647612
      Anonymous

      Never had a beard.  I did grow a mustasch in my earlier days.  Eventually I realized that I didn’t like whiskers in my coffee or soup and got rid of it.  I like to be clean shaven all the time an especially when en femme.

      Kerri

    • #647636

      Personally I’ve always hated my facial hair. The main reason being I hate shaving which I had to start when I was 15. And my beard is always patchy and scruffy looking. So alas I need to shave regularly sometimes twice a day if I’m going out. The only time I let it go is when I’m unwell or I’ve been on a drinking binge what with my shakes. Having said that I do find a well maintained and shortly trimmed beard on guys attractive. But like most of the girls I don’t understand why guys dress sporting facial and body hair it’s a danger sign to me xx

    • #647639

      I have had a goatee for the last30+ years.  WHen I came out to my wife a cocuple years ago one of the things she said is that I can’t shave it off.  I didn’t have a problem with that and still don’t for the most part.  I do think about what it would be liketo wear make up and how I would look without it, however, to keep peace it stays.  I only dress in private and don’t go out in public.  The only  exception to that is when I dress for some of my therapy sessions and my therapist is always complimentary of how I look.  As for the rest of me I keep my upper body and groin shaved.  I shaved my legs this past winter and loved it, however because of medical appointments and short season I had to let it grow back.  If I had kept them shaved it would hve led o too many questions from grandkids, my kids and neighbors, so easier to just let it grow back.  Once the weather cools down I’ll probably shave them again and get my toes painted again.

      XOXO
      Suzanne

    • #647662
      Sam Fey
      Baroness

      I had not clean shaved my face in 10 years until recently. Always kept it short but no one had seen me clean shaven. It’s something I’ve built up in my head to be this big deal if I shaved. OMG! What would people think? The last year or so I’ve been getting more serious about my whole feminine self and appearance with the goal of finally going out. A couple weeks ago, I had enough. I wanted to see “Sam”, what she really looked like. Yeah, nobody noticed or cared. SMH. So glad i finally did though. We put so much pressure on ourselves over what other people might think. Sometimes it’s all in our heads.
      Sam-

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